纳瓦尔最新访谈3小时完整版 - 关于人性的44个残酷真相
By 求知行囊
Summary
## Key takeaways - **Happiness is not wanting, but freedom**: Happiness can be achieved in two ways: either by getting what you want and satisfying material needs, or by not wanting things in the first place, like Diogenes. The speaker is unsure which path is more valid. [00:20], [01:01] - **Being happy can make you more successful**: Contrary to conventional wisdom, being more peaceful, calm, and satisfied with what you have can lead to greater success, as you'll want to do bigger, more aligned things. However, your definition of success will likely change. [01:53], [02:15] - **Material success is easier to achieve than renunciation**: It's far easier to achieve our material desires than it is to renounce them. The path of material success is often seen as quicker, and one plays the game to win and then be free of it. [03:00], [03:13] - **Suffering is a proxy for progress, not the outcome**: Many gains in life come from short-term suffering for long-term payoff, but it's crucial to avoid becoming a 'suffering addict,' attaching well-being to the pain itself rather than what it achieves. [03:42], [04:01] - **Authenticity is lacking; people want to be something they're not**: The world lacks authenticity because people want to be seen as something they're not. This leads to saying things they don't believe, and hypersensitized radars can detect this insincerity. [13:12], [13:22] - **Focus on wealth creation, not status games**: Status games are inherently limited and combative, while wealth creation games are positive-sum and can scale infinitely. Wealth has concrete material returns, unlike status, which cannot be exchanged at a bank. [15:44], [16:30]
Topics Covered
- Happiness Redefines Success, Not Ends It.
- Wealth is Positive-Sum, Status is Zero-Sum.
- Unapologetic Self-Prioritization Fuels Freedom.
- Overthinking Yourself Cultivates Unhappiness.
- GLP-1 Drugs Will Revolutionize Health and Society.
Full Transcript
Happiness is being satisfied with what
you have. Success comes from
dissatisfaction. Is success worth it
then? Oof. I'm not sure that statement
is true anymore. Like I made that
statement a long time ago and a lot of
these things are just notes to myself
and they're highly contextual. They come
in the moment. They leave in the
moment. Happiness. Okay. though very
complicated topic but I always like the
Socrates story where he goes into the
marketplace and they show him all these
luxuries and fineries and he says how
many things there are in this world that
I do not want right and that's a form of
freedom so not wanting something is as
good as having it in the old story with
Alexander Dionius right Alexander goes
out and conquers the world and he meets
Dionius who's living in a barrel and
Dionius says get out of the way you're
blocking my son and Alexander says oh
how I wish I you know could be like
Dionius the next life and Dianis says
that's the difference I don't wish that
I could sorry Dioynes Dioynes Dioynes
says I I I don't wish to be Alexander so
two paths to happiness and uh one path
is success you get what you want you
satisfy your material needs or like
Dioynes you just don't want in the first
place and I'm not sure which one is more
valid
um and it also depends what you define
as success if the end goal is happiness
then why not cut to the chase and just
go straight for
Uh does being happy make you less
successful? That is a conventional
wisdom. That may even be the practical
earned experience of your reality. You
find that when you're happy, you don't
want anything. So you don't get up and
do anything. On the other hand, you
know, you still got to do something.
You're an animal. You're here. You're
here to survive. You're here to
replicate. You're driven. You're
motivated. You're going to do something.
You're not just going to sit there all
day. Unlikely. Some people do. Maybe
it's in their nature. But I think most
people still want to act. they want to
live in the arena. Uh I found for myself
as I've become uh happier is a big word
but you know more peaceful, more calm,
more present, more uh satisfied with
what I have uh I still want to do
things. I just want to do bigger things.
I want to do things that are more pure,
more aligned with uh what I think needs
to be done and what I can uniquely do.
So in that sense, I think that being
happier can actually make you more
successful, but your definition of
success will likely change along the
way. Is that a realization you think you
could have gotten to had you have not
had some success in the first place?
At least for me, I always wanted to take
the path of material success first. I
was not going to go be an aesthetic and
sit there and renounce everything. That
just seems too unrealistic and too
painful. Uh, in the story of Buddha, he
starts out as a prince and then he sees
that it's all kind of meaningless
because you're still going to get old
and die and then he goes into the woods
looking for something
more. I'll take the happy route that
involves material success. Thank you. I
think it's quicker in some ways. You
know, one of your uh insights is it's
far easier to achieve our material
desires than it is to renounce them. And
uh it depends on the person, but I I
think you have to try that path. If you
want something, go get it. Uh, you know,
like I I I quipped that the reason to
win the game is to be free of it. So,
you you play the games, you win the
games, and then you get hopefully you
get bored of the games. You don't want
to just keep looping on the same game
over and over. Although a lot of these
games are very enticing and have many
levels and are relatively open-ended.
Uh, and then you become free of the game
uh in a sense that you're no longer
trying to win it. You know, you can win
it. Uh, and either you move to a
different game or you play the game for
the sheer joy of it. Yeah. You, another
one of yours, most of the gains in life
come from suffering in the short term so
you can get paid in the long term. I
think that's classic. Winning the
marshmallow test on a daily basis. But,
uh, there's an interesting challenge
where I think people need to avoid
becoming uh, a suffering addict. Sort of
using suffering as the proxy for
progress as opposed to the outcome of
the suffering. Right? It's like I was in
pain not eating the marshmallow. I was
in pain doing this work. I have attached
well-being and satisfaction to pain, not
to what the pain gets me on the other
side of it. If you define pain as
physical pain, then it's a real thing.
It happens and you can't ignore it. But
that's not what we mean by suffering.
Suffering is mostly mental anguish and
mental pain. And it just means you don't
want to do the task at hand. Uh if you
were fine doing the task at hand, then
you wouldn't be suffering. And then the
question is what's more effective to
suffer along the way or just to
interpret it in a way that it's not
suffering? You hear from a lot of
successful people they look back and
they say oh the journey was the fun part
right that was actually the entertaining
part and I should have enjoyed it more.
It's a common regret. Uh there's a
little thought exercise I like to do
which is you can go back into your own
life and uh try to put yourself in the
exact position you were in 5 years ago,
10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago
and you try to remember okay who was I
with what was I doing? What was I
feeling? What were my emotions? What
were my objectives? And really really
try to transport yourself back and see
if there's any advice you'd give
yourself. Anything you do differently.
Now you don't have new information.
Don't pretend you could have gone back
and, you know, bought a stock or bought
bought Bitcoin or whatever, but just
knowing what you know now in terms of
your temperament and a little bit of age
related
experience, how would you have done
things differently? And I think it's a
worthwhile exercise to do. So don't let
me rob you of the conclusion, but I'll
tell you for me
uh I would have done everything the same
except I would have done it with less
anger, less emotion, less internal
suffering because that was optional. It
wasn't necessary. And I would argue that
someone who can do the job uh at least
peacefully but maybe happily is going to
be more effective than someone who has
unnecessary emotional turmoil. Well, you
end up with a series of miserable
successes, right? The outcome may have
been the same, but the entire experience
of getting there and and the journey is
not only the reward. The journey is the
only thing there is. You know, even
success, it's human nature to bank it
very very quickly, right? Because the
normal loop that we run through is you
sit around, you're bored, then you want
something, then when you want something,
you decide you're not going to be happy
until you get that thing. Then you start
your bout of suffering or anticipation
while you strive to get that thing. If
you get that thing, then you get used to
it and then you get bored again. Then a
few months later, you want something
else. And if you don't get it, then
you're unhappy for a bit and then you
get over it and then you want something
else. Right? That's the normal cycle. So
whether you're happy or unhappy at the
end, it tends not to last. Now I don't
want to be glib and say that oh there's
no point in making money or being
successful. There absolutely is. Money
solves all your money problems. So it is
good to have money. Um that said there
are those uh those stories. I I don't
know if you've seen those studies. I
don't know how real these are. A lot of
these psych studies don't replicate, but
it's a fun fun little study that shows
that uh people who break their back and
people who win the lottery are back to
their baseline happiness two years
later. Yep. Again, I don't know if
that's entirely true. I think money can
buy you happiness if you earned it
because then along the way you have both
pride and confidence in yourself and you
have a sense of accomplishment and you
you know set out to do something and you
were right. So I I'll bet that lingers
and then as I said money solves your
money problem. So I don't want to be too
glib about it but I would say in general
this this loop that we run through um of
desire dopamine fulfillment
unfulfillment like you you have to enjoy
the journey. The journey is all there
is, right? 99% of your time is spent on
the journey. So, what kind of a journey
is it if you're not going to enjoy it?
How do you shortcut that desire
contract?
You could focus, you could decide that I
don't want most things. I think we have
a lot of unnecessary desires that we
just pick up everywhere. We have
opinions on everything, judgments and
everything. Uh so, I think just knowing
that those are the source of unhappiness
uh will make you be choosy about your
desires. And frankly, if you want to be
successful, you have to be choosy about
your desires. You have to focus. You
can't be great at everything. You can't
be great at everything. You're just
going to waste your energy and waste
your time. Is fame a worthwhile goal?
Uh, it gets you invited to better
parties, gets you into better
restaurants. Uh, fame, so fa fame is
this funny thing where a lot of people
know you, but you don't know them. And,
uh, it does get you put on a pedestal.
Uh, it can get you what you want, uh, at
a at a distance. So, I wouldn't say it's
worthless. Obviously, people want it for
a reason. Um, it's high status, so it
attracts the opposite sex. Uh,
especially for men, it attracts women.
Uh, that said, it is high cost. It means
you have no privacy. Um, you do have
weirdos and lunatics. Uh, you do get hit
up a lot for weird things. Uh, and
you're on a stage, so you're forced to
perform, so you're forced to be
consistent with your past proclamations
and actions, and you're going to have
haters and all that nonsense. But the
fact that we do it, the fact that we all
seem to want it means that it would be
disingenuous to say, "Oh, no, no, I'm
famous." But you don't want to be
famous. Um, that said, I think fame like
anything else is best produced as a or
pursued as a byproduct of something
potentially more worthwhile. Um, wanting
to be famous and craving to be famous
and being famous for being famous, these
are sort of traps. Fame for fame's sake.
Yeah, exactly. So, it's better that it's
earned fame. Uh so for example earn
respect in the tribe is you do things
that are good for the tribe. Uh who are
the most famous people in human history?
Uh there uh you know there there are
people who sort of transcended the self.
The Buddhas and the Jesuses and the
Muhammads of the world. Who else is
famous? Uh the artists are famous. You
know art lasts for a long time. The
scientists are famous. They discover a
thing. The conquerors are famous
presumably because they conquered for
their tribe. There was someone that they
were fighting for.
So generally the higher up you rise by
doing things for greater and greater
groups of people even though it may be
considered tyrannical or negative like
uh you know Jenghaskhan is famous but uh
to the Mongols he was doing good to the
rest of them not so much
uh the higher level you're operating at
the more people you're taking care of
the more you sort of earn respect and
fame and I think those are good reasons
to be famous if if if fame is empty if
you're famous just cuz your name showed
up in a lot of places or your face
showed up in a lot of places then that's
a hollow fame and I think deep down you
will know that and so it'll be fragile
and you'll always be afraid of losing it
and then you'll be forced to perform so
the kind of fame that uh pure actors and
celebrities have I wouldn't want but the
kind of fame that's earned because you
did something useful uh why dodge that
now you can there's a challenge I think
especially if people make uh very loud
public proclamations about things you
mentioned there about um you're almost
hostage to the things that you used to
say that um being able to update your
opinions and change your mind looks very
similar to the internet as hypocrisy
does. No, no, no. The difference between
me saying something in the past and
saying something different now is
perhaps I've learned, perhaps I've
updated my beliefs, but so few people do
it in a legitimate way. I think that the
grifter shill you see this is the the
the smoking gun that shows that he
didn't really believe that thing all
along. Right. And uh yeah, I I went to a
retreat in LA a couple of years ago and
there was a guy that I used to follow
that a big um business and productivity
advice content creator really really
successful and he just totally stepped
back from everything and went uh like
monk mode and focused on his business. I
asked him why and he said uh I started
feeling like I had to live up to in
private the things that I was saying in
public. Right. Yeah. It's a it's a what
was it that uh who said it was a mein
that um foolish consistency is a
hobgoblin of little minds right um but
essentially look all life is all
learning is error correction right every
knowledge creation system works through
correcting errors making guesses and
correcting errors so by definition if
you're learning you're going to be wrong
most of the time and you'll be updating
your priors and so for example I did
this Joe Rogan podcast I don't know it's
like eight or nine years ago um and
people will call out like the one thing
that didn't turn out to be correct,
right? And it's just like and they just
beat on it because it it helps them in
their mind raise their status a little
bit. Aha, I caught him in an error.
Well, I think if you catch someone in a
blatant lie where there believe one
thing and they say another, that's
legit. That's a character flaw. They
shouldn't be lying. But on the other
hand, if they just made a guess at
something and they got it wrong. And by
the way, mostly it's about the AI AGI
thing. And I think I'm still right about
that, but it's a different story. Um
people who think we have achieved AGI
just fail a touring test from their
side. Um but
uh it's funny how people latch on to
single proclamations. But the reality is
all of us are dynamical systems. We're
always changing. We're always learning.
We're always growing. And uh hopefully
we're correcting errors. What you don't
want to be doing is lying in public. So
that because you're you're trying to
look good. And I think people can smell
that. I I I what this world really lacks
right now is authenticity. And because
everybody wants something, they want to
be seen as something. They want to be
something that they're not. And so you
do catch a lot of people uh saying
things that they don't really believe.
And I think people are very sensitive to
that. Uh [ __ ] radars have become
hypersensitized to try and work out
whether or not this person means the
thing that they're saying. Yeah. I mean
they they a lot of people are wrong.
Most of us are wrong most of the time,
especially in any new endeavor.
Difference between being wrong and
disingenuous though, purposefully wrong.
Correct. Exactly. So I think I think
that's the big difference. If someone is
wrong, no big deal as long as they have
a genuine reason for saying what they're
saying or believing what they're
believing. But if they are lying to
elevate their status or their appearance
or to live up to some expectation,
that's the mistake. And that's a mistake
not just for the listener, it's a
mistake for themselves cuz then you're
going to get trapped in a hall of
mirrors. You yourself are going to be
consistent with your past proclamations.
So if you're lying to others, you're
going to be lying to yourself. You're
puppeted by a person that you are not
even. That's right. Yeah. It's it's like
what was that line? There's you're
you're basically trying to impress
people who you know don't care about
you. Um so they don't like the real you
and if they saw the real you they
wouldn't care. And the people who would
like the real you don't get to see the
real you so they pass you by right? You
only want the respect of the very very
few people that you respect. Uh trying
to demand respect from the masses is a
fool's errand.
Sadus games, the allure of acrewing,
whether it's fame, actual fame, or just
the competition comparison trap, it's
always there. Uh there's a real draw of
being swayed by social approval. How
should people learn to get less
distracted by status games in that
way? I think it it just helps to see
that status games don't matter as much
as they used to. uh in old society,
let's go back hunter gatherer times,
there was no such thing as wealth. You
just had what you could carry. Um there
was no stored wealth. So wealth games
didn't really exist to wealth creation
games. All that existed was status
games. If you were high status, then you
got what little was available first. Um
but even back then, you had to earn your
status by taking care of the tribe. Uh
now we have wealth creation where you
can actually create a product or a
service. you can scale that product or
service and you can provide abundance
for a lot of people. Uh and that's not
zero sum, that's a positive sum game. I
can be wealthy, you can be wealthy, we
can create things together and clearly
since we are all collectively far far
wealthier than we were in hunter
gatherer times. Uh wealth creation is
positive but status is limited. There's
limited status to go around. It's a
ranking ladder. It's a hierarchy. And so
it's a rise in status. Somebody else has
a lower in status. Now you can have
multiple kinds of status. So you can
expand some kinds of status, but it's
not like wealth creation where it can go
infinitely where we can all be, you
know, living in the stars and moon bases
or Mars colonies or what have you. So
just realize that status games are
inherently limited. Uh they're always
combative. Um they always require uh
direct combat whereas uh wealth creation
games can be just you're creating
products. You don't have to fight
anybody else. Yes, in the marketplace
your product has to succeed, but that's
not quite the same as uh invective
against other people or being angry with
other people or feeling pushed down or
pushed up or having a beef with
somebody. So, I would argue that wealth
creation games are both more pleasant.
Uh they're positive sum and they
actually have uh concrete material
returns. If you have more money, you can
buy more. Show me where you can exchange
your status at the bank. Exactly. Yeah.
It's it's it's vague and it's fuzzy.
Now, you see people get rich, they have
money, what do they want? they want
status and so they go to Hollywood start
starring in movies they donate to
nonprofits they go to cans or Davos or
what have you um and they start trying
to trade the money for status so you
know people always want what they don't
have uh and we are evolutionarily
hardwired for status because as I said
wealth creation didn't really exist
until the agricultural revolution uh
when you could store grain and then the
industrial revolution took it to another
level and now the information age is
taking it to yet another level but
there's never been an easier time to
make money yes it's still hard, but
there's never been an easier time to
create wealth because there's so much
leverage out there. There's so much
opportunity. You still have to go find
it. It's not easy. It's not going to
fall on your lap and you have to learn
something and know something and do
something interesting. But nevertheless,
it's possible to many more
people. A few hundred years ago, you
were born a surf, you were going to die
a surf. There was almost no way out of
that. That's changed. And so I would
argue that you're better off focusing on
wealth games and status games. If you're
trying to um build up, for example, your
following on a social network and get
famous and then get rich off of being
famous. That's a much harder path than
getting rich first um and then go for
your fame afterwards would be my advice.
Well, a lot of people do that as you
said. It's funny how uh people who have
achieved such a level of wealth that you
don't think why do you need the status
given that most people use status to
then try and cash in to achieve wealth
if you've achieved [ __ ] money already
if you're post money or uh asset heavy
as it's known. Um why are you trying to
go in the other direction? Well, as you
said because we've got an illustrious
history biologically of wanting status
and wealth is kind of novel. It's new.
It's new. Wealth is uh something that
you have to understand more
intellectually. Yeah, there's a physical
component, more food, more survival, but
uh to truly understand the effects and
the powers and the abilities and
limitations uh and the advantages and
disadvantages of wealth, you have to use
your neoortex a lot more. Does that mean
it's not limbic? The reason to play the
game is to win the game and be done with
it is harder to win and be done with for
status than it is for wealth. That's a
good observation. I had thought that
through, but you're right. Yeah, I think
that's right. I think you people will
always want more status. Uh but I think
you can be satisfied at a certain level
of wealth. Well, as
well you always have this sort of sense.
This is what leaderboards are, right?
This is the the billboard chart. That's
right. And it is zero sum and it is I
guess you know the Forbes richest people
on the planet. That one's harder to
climb the ladder on. But uh the fact
that for example iTunes and YouTube can
put you in competition against your
contemporaries every single day and make
you go up and down and show you likes
and comments and ratings. This is how
much you're up. Exactly. They they keep
you running on that treadmill forever.
Jimmy Carr has this cool idea where he
says trajectory is more important than
position. So if you are number 101 in
the world but last year you were number
200 versus you're number two in the
world but last year you were number one.
there is this sense of the deceleration
is very very tangible and um it's again
it goes back to evolution you know
something that is bleeding eventually
dies unless you stop the bleeding so
you're you're hardwired not to lose what
you have and because we evolved in
conditions where we're so close to just
not surviving uh you don't want to give
anything up it's hardwired into us to
not give anything up so you grip tightly
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checkout. The worst outcome in the world
is not having
self-esteem. Why? Yeah, it's a tough
one. Uh well, I I I look at the people
and I don't want to offend anybody, but
I look at the people who don't like
themselves, and that's the toughest slot
because they're always wrestling with
themselves. And it's hard enough to face
the outside world. Um and no one's going
to like you more than you like yourself.
So, if you're struggling with yourself,
then the outside world becomes an
insurmountable challenge. And it's hard
to say why people have low self-esteem.
It might be genetic. It might just be
circumstantial. A lot of times I think
it's because they just weren't
unconditionally loved as a child and
that sort of seeps in at a deep core
level. Um but self-esteem issues can be
the most limiting. Uh one interesting
thought is that you know to some extent
self-esteem is a reputation you have
with yourself. Um you're watching
yourself at all times. You know what
you're doing and you have your own moral
code. Everyone has a different moral
code. But if you don't live up to your
own moral code, the same code that you
hold others to, uh it will damage your
self-esteem. So perhaps one way to build
up your self-esteem is to live up to
your own code very rigorously. Have one
and then live up to it. Uh another way
to raise your self-esteem might be to do
things for others. Uh if I look back on
my life and you know what are the
moments that I'm actually proud of,
there's very far and few between and
it's not that often and it's not the
things you would expect. It's not the
material success. It's not having
learned this thing or that. It's when I
made a sacrifice for somebody or
something that I loved. And uh that's
when I'm actually ironically most proud.
Now that's through an explicit mental
exercise. But I'll bet you at some level
I'm recording that implicitly. So that
tells me that even if I am not being
loved and the way to create love is to
give love to to express love through
sacrifice and through duty. And so I
think doing things like that can build
up your self-esteem really fast. It's
interesting when you talk about
sacrifice because a lot of the time
people say, "I sacrificed so much for my
job." It's like, "Yeah, but that was you
sacrificing something that you wanted
less for something that you wanted more
as opposed to genuinely taking some sort
of cost." And uh yeah, I wonder whether
if self-esteem is you adhering to your
internal your your actions and your
values aligning um even when it's
difficult or perhaps even more so when
it's difficult. I wonder whether there
is a price that people who are more
introspective, high integrity pay
because you think well you've got this
uh heavy set of overheads that you need
to pay in some way. Well, if being
ethical were profitable, everybody would
do it right. So uh you at some level it
does involve a sacrifice. Uh but that
sacrifice can also be thought of as
you're thinking for the long term rather
than the short term. Um for example the
virtues are the set of
uh virtues a set of beliefs that if
everybody in society followed them as
individuals it would lead to win-win
outcomes for everybody. So if I am
honest and you are honest then we can do
business more easily. We can interact
more easily because we can trust each
other. So even though there might be a
few liars in the system as long as there
aren't too many liars and too many
cheaters uh a high trust society where
everybody's honest is better off. And I
think a lot of the virtues work this way
right? If I don't go around sleeping
with your wife and you don't sleep with
mine and you know if I don't take all
the food that's at the table first and
so on, then we all get along better and
we can play win-win games. Uh in game
theory, the most famous game is
prisoners dilemma, but that's all about
everybody cheating and the Nash
equilibrium. The stable equilibrium
there is everybody cheats and you're for
the only way you can be you can play a
win-win game is if you have long-term
iterated moves. But that's not actually
the most common game played in society.
The most common game played as one
called a stags hunt where if we
cooperate we can bring down a big stag
and both have big dinners but if we
don't cooperate then we have to go hunt
like rabbits and we each have small
dinners. So most of uh and and that game
has two stable equilibriums and one
could be where we're both hunting the
rabbit and one could be where we're
hunting the stag. So the high trust
society is a more most more virtuous
society where I can trust you to come
hunt the stag with me and show up on
time and do the work and divide it up
properly. So you want to live in a
system where everybody has their own set
of virtues and follows them and then we
all win. But I would argue you don't
need to do that for sacrifice. You don't
need to do that for other people. You
can do it just purely for yourself. You
will have higher self-esteem. You will
attract other high virtue people. Would
I go on a stag hunt with me? Correct.
Yeah, that's right. And if you're the
kind of person, if you're the kind of
person who long-term signals ethics and
virtues, then you'll attract other
people who are ethical and virtuous.
Whereas, if you are a shark, you will
eventually find yourself swimming
entirely amongst sharks. And that's an
unpleasant existence. But again, this
goes back to the equivalent of the
marshmallow test. And by the way, the
marshmallow test does not
replicate replication crisis hard
recently. But it is about trading off
the short term for the long term. Uh,
and so I think for a lot of these
so-called virtues, there are long-term
selfish reasons to be virtuous.
[Music]
Yeah. Uh, did you deal with self-doubt
in the past? Is that something that was
a a hurdle for you to overcome? Yes and
no. I think I I dealt with self-doubt in
the sense that, oh, I don't know what
I'm doing and I need to figure it out.
Um, but I didn't doubt myself in the way
of somebody else knows better than me
for me or that, you know, I'm an idiot
or I'm not worthwhile or anything that I
I guess I had the benefit of I grew up
with a lot of love like the people
around me love me unconditionally. And
so that just gave me a lot of
confidence. Uh, not the kind of
confidence that would say I have the
answer, but the kind of confidence that
I will figure it out and I know what I
want or only I am a good arbiter of what
I want. Yeah. That level of self-belief
I suppose allows you to determine what
is it that matters to me, my
self-esteem, should I chase this thing
or not? I can make a fair judgment on
that as opposed to being so swayed. But
it's such a good point about even if you
think you're not consciously logging the
stuff that you're doing. There is some
that's in the back of your mind. Was it
the Damon? Is that what the ancient
Greeks or something used to talk about?
Yeah. The Yeah. Also in computer science
like there's a concept of a demon which
is a uh a program that's always running
in the background. You can't see it.
Okay. Um but yeah, it probably comes
from the ancient Greek demon. Uh but
yeah, I what you know that you don't
even know you know is far greater than
what you know you know, right? You can't
even articulate most of the things you
know. There are feelings you have that
have no words for them. There are
thoughts you have that are felt within
the body or subconsciously that you
never articulate to yourself. You don't
really you can't articulate the rules of
grammar yet you exercise them
effortlessly when you speak. So I would
argue that your implicit knowledge and
your knowledge that is unknown to
yourself is far greater than the
knowledge you can articulate and that
you can communicate.
And so at some level you're always
watching yourself. That's what your
consciousness is, right? It's the thing
that's watching everything including
your mind, including your body. So if
you want to uh have high self-esteem
then earn your own self-resect.
I had this idea the internal golden
rule. So the golden rule says treat
others the way that you should be
treated. You want to be treated. The
internal golden rule says treat yourself
like others should have treated you and
it was a a repost to maybe people that
didn't grow up with unconditional love.
Yeah. In that way. On the love thing,
one of the interesting things about love
is you can try to remember the feeling
of being loved. So go back to when
someone was in love with you or someone
did love you and like really remember
that feeling like really sit with it and
try to recreate it within yourself and
then go to the feeling of you loving
someone and when you were in love. And
I'm not even talking about romantic love
necessarily. So be a little careful
there. I'm talking more about like love
for can sometimes get complex if you're
talking about past romantic love right a
sibling or a child or something like
that or or a parent and uh think about
when you felt love towards someone or
something and now which is
better and I would argue that the
feeling of being in love is actually
more exhilarating than the feeling of
being loved being loved is a little
clawing it's a little too sweet you kind
of want to push the person away it's a
little embarrassing and you know that if
that person is too much into it that you
feel constrained. On the other hand, the
feeling of being in love is very
expansive. It's very open. It actually
makes you a better version of yourself.
It makes you want to be a better person.
And so, you can create love anytime you
want. It's just that craving to receive
it that's the problem. The most
expensive trait is pride. How come? Oh,
that was a recent one. Uh I I tweeted
that just because I think that uh pride
is the enemy of learning. So when I look
at my friends and colleagues, the ones
who are still stuck in the past and have
grown the least are the ones who were
the proudest because they sort of feel
like they already had the answers. And
so they don't want to correct themselves
publicly. And so this goes back to the
fame conversation. You get locked into
something you said. It made you famous.
You're known for that. And now you want
to pivot or change. So pride prevents
you from saying I'm wrong. It What's
pride in this context here? It could be
as simple as you're trading stocks and
then you don't admit you were wrong. So
you hang on to a lousy trait. Uh it
could be that you uh made a decision to
uh you know marry someone or move
somewhere or enter a profession, it
doesn't work out and then you don't
admit that you were wrong so you get
stuck in it. Uh it's mostly about
getting trapped in local maxima as
opposed to going back down and climbing
up the mountain again. Mhm. And that's
why it's an expensive trade because you
continue to need to repay it in one form
or another. Yeah. You're you're just
stuck at a suboptimal point. Uh it's
going to cost you money. It's going to
cost you success and time and time. Uh
the great artists always have this
ability to start over. Whether it's Paul
Simon or Madonna or you two and I'm
dating myself a little bit. Um but even
the great entrepreneurs, they're just
always willing to start over. Uh I'm
always struck by the Elon Musk story
where, you know, he uh he did PayPal as
X.com originally. Actually, it was his
his financial institution that got
merged into PayPal. It's good that
you've got the domain. You know what I
mean? Yeah, exactly. I'll park that.
I'll hold on. He's consistent. He's been
using it for quite a while. Um, and he
said something like along the lines of,
uh, I made $200 million from the sale of
PayPal. I put $100 million into SpaceX,
80 million Tesla, 20 into Solar City,
and I had to borrow money for rent.
Right? This guy is a perennial risk
taker. He's always willing to start
over. He doesn't have any pride about
being seen as successful or being seen
as a failure. He's willing to put it all
in the line, back himself again each
time, back himself again each time. But
the key thing is he's always willing to
start over, right? Even now when he's
sort of made his his new startup is a
USA, right? He's basically trying to fix
it like he would fix one of his
startups. And I think that is a
willingness to look like a fool and that
is a willingness to start over. And a
lot of people just don't have that. They
become successful or they become rich or
they become famous and that's it.
They're stuck. They don't want to go
back to zero. And creating anything
great requires zero to one. And that
means you go back to zero and that's
really painful and hard to do. Talking
about risk, something I've been thinking
about a lot to do with you. Any moment
when you're not having a good time, when
you're not really happy, you're not
doing anyone any favors. I think lots of
people have
become unusually familiar with suffering
silently in that sort of a way of not
having a high bar for your expectation
for quality of life. Uh yeah, a lot of
it is just you're memeing yourself into
a bad outcome because you think that
somehow suffering is glorious or that it
makes you a better person or you know my
old quip was if you're so smart why
aren't you happy? Why can't you figure
that one out? Um the reality is you can
be smart and happy. There are plenty of
people in human history who are smart
and happy. Uh and I think it just starts
with saying, "Yeah, you know what? I'm
I'm going to be happy." There was a guy
that I met in Thailand a long time ago
and uh he used to work for Tony Robbins.
uh you know he had a great attitude and
uh we were sitting around and he said
you know uh he said I realized one day
that someone out there had to be the
happiest person in the world like there
just that person just has to exist he
said why not me I'll take on that burden
I'll be that guy and I heard that and I
was like wow that's pretty good that's a
good frame but he knew how to reframe
things and so I think a lot of happiness
is just a choice uh in the sense that
you make first you just identify
yourself as actually I'm going going to
be a person that's going to be happy.
I'm going to figure it out. And you just
figure it out along the way. You're not
going to lose your other predilictions.
You're not going to lose your ambition
or your desire for success. I think a
lot of people have this fear that, oh,
if I'm happy, then I won't want to be
successful. No, you'll just want to do
things that are more aligned with the
happy version of you, and you'll be
successful at those things. And believe
me, the happy version of you is not
going to look back at the unhappy
version and say, "Oh man, that that guy
was going to be more success. I wish I
was him." You're actually trying to be
successful so you'll be happy. That's
the whole point. You've gotten it
backwards. You You unlocked one of my
trap cards. Um, one of my favorite
insights is that we sacrifice the thing
we want for the thing that's supposed to
get it. So, we sacrifice happiness in
order to be successful so that when
we're finally sufficiently successful,
we can actually be happy. And if you
have some sort of simultaneous equation,
you just sort of stripped success off
from both sides. The at least in my own
life, I have not found there to be a
trade-off. If anything, I have found
that the happier I get, the more I am
going to do the things that I'm good at
and aligned with and that will make me
even happier. And so, I actually end up
more successful, not less. The aligned
with thing is interesting. Uh, I'm going
to try and put this across as delicately
as I can. I would say from the bit of
time that we'd spent together, you have
a really interesting trait
of holistic selfishness. Uh, you're sort
of prepared to put yourself first. um
you seem largely unfazed by saying or
doing things that might might result in
other people feeling a little bit
awkward if it's truthful for you. Uh
it's like unapologetically
self-prioritizing, I guess. Yeah, I
think everybody is. Uh maybe
unapologetic is the part that's that's
relatively uh rare, but I think
everybody puts themselves first. That's
just human nature. You're you're here
because you survive. You're a separate
organism. That's interesting. I'm maybe.
But I know we like to virtue signal and
pretend we're doing it for each other.
How many How many times does somebody
say, "Yeah, of course. I'd love to come
to the wedding." They're like, "I don't
want to be at the [ __ ] wedding." How
many times does someone say, "How are
you doing today?" And they don't tell
you. I don't I don't go to weddings. But
this is my point. So I don't think
you're necessarily right with that. I
think that people do I don't think they
put themselves first. I sometimes think
that they they compromise what it is
that they want in order to appease
socially what's in front of them. Yeah.
I just view it as you're wast everyone's
wasting their time on it. Um, don't do
something you don't want to do. Why Why
are you wasting your time? There's so
little time on this earth. Life goes
fast. What is it? 4,000 weeks. That's
your lifespan. Um, and and yes, we hear
that, but we don't remember it. But, uh,
I guess I'm keenly aware of how little
time I have, so I'm just not going to
waste it. How have you got more
comfortable at
um, being the unapologetic self-
prioritizer? Yeah, I've gotten I've
gotten utterly more and more ruthless on
it. Ma mainly it's that I see or hear
people's freedom and then that liberates
me further. So I read a uh I read a blog
post by uh P Mark aka Mark Andre where
he said don't keep a schedule and I took
that to heart. So I deleted my calendar
and I don't keep a schedule. I try to
remember it all in my head. If I can't
remember it, I'm not going to add you
here on time. Yeah, exactly. Um I hate
to look things up at the last minute. Uh
so but ironically I don't even know if
Mark himself follows that but he made
the correct point. Uh I read a little
story about Jack Dorsey doing all his
business off his uh iPhone and iPad and
not even going into a Mac and I said
okay I want to do that. So I'm going to
operate through text messaging and I put
up my nasty email. Does that feel like
more freedom? It does. Yeah cuz you're
on the go. Um so I have a nasty email
autoresponder that says I don't check
email and don't text me either. Right.
If you need to find me you'll find me.
Obviously, some of this is a luxury of
success. But some of these habits I
adopted long before actually the hostile
email autoresponder started a long time
ago. Um, I used to own the domain. I let
it go. I don't do coffee.com. I used to
reply from that email uh just so people
would get the point. But I stopped being
rude about it. Now I just ghost. I just
disappear. Um, my wife knows not to ever
uh book or schedule me for anything. Uh,
I'm not expect I'm not expected to go to
couples dinners. doesn't expect to go to
birthdays. I'm not expect to go to
weddings. If somebody tries to rope her
into having me show up, she says he
makes his own decisions. You got to ask
him directly. What about vice versa?
Well, are you not killing serendipity in
a way that No, no. I'm freeing up all my
time. So, my entire life is serendipity.
I get to interact with whoever I want,
whenever I want, wherever. So, you hear
the invite, but make the decision
because if you're if there's fewer
things in coming, you're assuming that
you know what's best for you to anything
in the future. So, I'll say, "Okay, if
that thing is interesting, I'll see if I
can get in that day when I'm in the
mood." But there's nothing worse than
something coming up that your past self
committed you to that your present self
doesn't want to do. God damn it. Past.
Yeah. And then it destroys your entire
calendar. It destroys your your day
because there's like, oh, this 1 hour
slot which is sitting like a turd on my
calendar that I have to like schedule my
whole day around. I can't do anything at
20 minutes before, the 20 minutes
afterwards. Even for phone calls, if
someone wants to do a phone call, say,
"Okay, just text me when you're free.
I'll text you when I'm free." and we'll
just do it on the fly. It's a much
better way of living than this overly
scheduled uh you know cal.com or iical
whatever. The uh the overscheduled life
is not worth living. It's not. I think
it's a terrible way to live life. That's
not how we evolved. It's not how we grew
up. Um it's not how how we were as
children hopefully uh unless you're a
helicopter parent or a tiger mom. Um
your natural order is freedom. Uh I had
a friend who uh said to me once, you
know, uh I never want to have to be at a
specific place at a specific time. And I
was like, "Oh my god, that's freedom."
When I heard that, that changed my life
right now. You still uh arm alarm
clockless? Yes, I'm alarm clockless.
Today, I did set my alarm clock just so
I wouldn't miss it. Very important.
Yeah. If you still But just so you know,
I set the alarm clock from 11:00 a.m. in
case I was stricken with a flu that day.
I wasn't going to set my alarm clock for
8:00 a.m. or 9:00 a.m. And sure enough,
I got up many hours before that. Um, but
it was sort of a backup emergency alarm.
In fact, sometimes when I have something
that I need to do, I don't want to look
at a calendar, so I'll just set an alarm
for it.
Just sink a little bit more into
that like kind of that [ __ ] you energy,
that self- prioritizing energy because I
think people rationally love the idea of
this. I'm going to do what only I want
to do. uh even if they've got the level
of freedom, it's not [ __ ] you energy in
the sense that I think everyone should
live their life that way to the greatest
extent possible. Obviously, we have our
requirements around work and obligations
that are genuinely important to us. But
don't fritter away your life on randomly
scheduled things and things that aren't
important don't matter and events and
weddings and you know tedious dinners
with tedious people that you don't want
to go to. To the extent you can bring
freedom into your life, optimize for
that, you'll actually be more
productive. You won't just be happier
and more free. You will be more
productive because then you can focus on
what is in front of you, whatever the
biggest problem of that day. When I wake
up in the morning, uh the first 4 hours
are when I have the most energy and
that's when I want to solve all the hard
problems. And the next 4 hours are when
I kind of want to, you know, do some
more outdoorsy activities or I want to
work out or maybe I can, you know, have
some meetings, but I'll try to do those
last second based on whatever the day's
priorities demand. the last four hours I
kind of want to wind down. I want to
hang out with the kids and I want to
play games or read a book or something
like that. So having that flexibility
and freedom is really important. So you
can just put whatever is most needed
into the slot at that moment. Uh and
instead if I have like a meeting at 2:00
p.m. and then I have to like get a thing
and some emails done, I put that off
till 6 p.m. I'm rushing. I'm not going
to be productive. I'm not going to be uh
You're certainly not free. Yeah, I'm not
I'm definitely not free. But also
another thing that I really believe is
that inspiration is perishable. Act on
it immediately. So when you're inspired
to do something, do that thing. If I'm
inspired to write a blog post, I want to
do it at that moment. If I'm inspired to
send a tweet, I want to do it at that
moment. If I'm inspired to solve a
problem, I do it that moment. If I'm
inspired to read a book, I want to read
it right then. If I'm inspired to solve
a problem, I solve it right there. If I
want to learn something, I I do it at
the moment of curiosity. The moment the
curiosity arrives, I go learn that thing
immediately. I download the book. I get
on Google. I get on ChatGpt, whatever. I
will figure that thing out on the spot
and that's when the learning happens. It
doesn't happen because I've scheduled
time because I've set an hour aside
because when that time arrives I might
be in a different mood. I might just
want to do something different. So I
think that spontaneity is really
important. You're going to learn best
when you're having fun when you
generally are enjoying the process not
when you're forced to sit there and do
it. How much do you remember from
school? You know you were forced to
learn geography, history, mathematics on
this schedule at this time according to
this person didn't happen. All the stuff
that sticks with you is you learned it
when you wanted to, when you genuinely
had the desire. And that freedom, that
ability to act on something the moment
you want to is so liberating that most
of us go through our lives with very
very little tastes of that. If you live
your entire life that way, that is a
recipe for happiness. It feels like
efficiency that that you have efficient
also. You have the inspiration that is
going to be the most frictionless time
to ever do that particular task. So I've
had the inspiration to do that. I'll put
that off until a time when I no longer
really want to do it quite so much. And
while I do want to do that thing, I'll
do something else that I needed to do
because it's on the schedule. It does
not work. Procrastination is because you
don't want to do that thing right now.
You want to do something else. Go do
that something else. I reject this frame
that efficiency and productivity and
success are counter to happiness and
freedom. They actually go together.
How so? The happier you are, the more
you can sustain doing something, the
more likely you're going to do something
that will in turn make you even happier.
and you'll continue to do it and you'll
outwork everybody else. The more free
you are, the better you can allocate
your time and the less you're caught up
in a web of obligations and commitments
and the more you can focus on the task
at hand. In other news, this episode is
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functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's
functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. This is
related to another insight of yours. The
less you want something, the less you're
thinking about it, the less you're
obsessing over it, the more you're going
to do it in a natural way, the more
you're going to do it for yourself,
you're going to do it in a way that
you're good at and you're going to stick
with it. The people around you will see
the quality of your work is higher. This
seems like a difficult tension to
navigate because an obsessive attention
to detail is a competitive advantage of
your work as well. So you have these two
things sort of conflicting with each
other. No one is going to beat you at
being you if it So one of the things I
like to say is like find what feels like
play to you but looks like work to
others. So it looks like work to them
but to you it feels like play. It's not
work. So you're going to out compete
them because you're doing it
effortlessly. You're doing it for fun.
They're doing it for work. They're doing
it for some byproduct. To you it's art.
It's beauty. It's joy. It's it's flow.
It's fulfilling. Uh, you must enjoy
podcasting. If you didn't, you wouldn't
be good at it. You
would, right? If you would, you if if
you decided that the right way to get
ahead in life was to go write books. You
would, nobody would have heard of you.
Chris Williamson's book would be a
complete flop. That's not who you are.
You're a podcaster. You enjoy talking to
people. You enjoy interviewing them. The
more you do things that are natural to
you, the less competition you have. You
escape competition through authenticity.
by being your own self. If I had to
summarize how to be successful in life
in two words, I would just say
productize yourself. That's it. Just
figure out what it is that you naturally
do that the world might want that you
can scale up and turn into a product and
it'll be it'll eventually be effortless
for you. Yes, it there's always work
required, but it won't even feel like
work to you. It'll feel like play to
you. And modern society gives us that
opportunity. You know, if you were 2,000
years ago, you're born on a farm. Your
choices are very limited, right? You're
going to do stuff on that farm. Now, you
can literally wake up and you can move
to a different city. You can switch
careers. You can switch jobs. You can
change the people that you're with. Uh,
you know, you can change so many things
about who you are and who you're with
and what you're doing that there is
infinite opportunity out there for you.
Literally infinite. And so it's much
better to treat this like a search
function to find the people who need you
the most, to find the work that needs
you the most, to find the place you're
best suited to be at. And it's
worthwhile to spend time in that
exploration before diving into
exploitation. The biggest mistake in a
world with so many choices is premature
commitment. If you prematurely commit to
being a lawyer or a doctor and now
you've got like, you know, 5 years
invested into that, you might have just
completely missed. You might just end up
in the wrong profession, the wrong
place, or the wrong people for 30 years
of your life grinding away. And yes, the
best time to figure that out was before,
but the second best time is now. So,
just change it. And also, presumably
kill things that aren't working very
quickly.
By default, you should kill everything.
You know, if you can't decide, the
answer is no. Uh, and most things you
should just be saying no to. The part of
my keeping my calendar free is just by
default saying no to everything. Do I
want to create a calendar just to add
your event, right? Or to add your need
or your desire. One of the other things
about, you know, early on in life,
you're looking for opportunities. So,
you're saying yes to everything. And
that is a phase that you go through.
That is the exploration phase. Later,
when you found the thing you want to
work on, you're in the exploitation
phase. You have to say no to everything
by default. And if you don't say no to
everything by default, if you have to
even explicitly go out of your way to
say no to something, that will take up
time. Uh, for example, you know, there
there are a lot of people out there who
are into hustle culture and and a big
piece of hustle culture is like, well,
you're not going to get something if you
don't ask for it. So, they'll hustle
people. They'll always be sending you
requests, messages. Yeah, this is a
famous person problem, but I have it.
And people are always asking me for
things. And I kind of squirm when I get
these messages, and I'm sure you get
these two text messages, emails saying,
"Hey, Chris, my friend so and so should
really be on your podcast, or you should
come to my event. You should write a
forward for my book." And you kind of
squirm when you get this, right? You
have to figure out how to say no. And
one of the things I learned along the
way is that if you wouldn't ask somebody
else to do it and then you get that
request yourself, you can just dismiss
it. You don't have to respond. You don't
you don't even let let it enter your
brain. You have to be able to delete
emails and text messages without
flinching if you want to scale. And
scaling is very important. Scaling your
time is really important. Every
interruption will take you out of flow.
So the only way you can remain in flow
is if you get either very good at
ignoring these things by default or
closing yourself off like a hermit like
our mutual friend Tim Ferris does or you
just become emotionally capable of not
registering these as something that
causes turbulence inside of you. That
not registering it emotionally thing is
that uh it's fundamental. That's so
fundamental to so many things in life.
Okay. Can we dig into that a little bit?
Is it because again I've only seen you
as you, right? I didn't know you 20
years ago. I didn't know you as a child.
Um so I've only seen you with
this holistic selfishness, the
integrated self- prioritization,
whatever we I don't know what we called
it. Selfish is fine. I'll take selfish.
I'm selfish. I'm very selfish person.
Don't contact me.
Uh yeah, that emotional reaction. I also
get the sense too that maybe people have
lived obligation life for so long that
they actually kind of struggle to tap
into what it is that they want. They've
hidden their wants and their desires and
their needs and they've dep prioritized
themselves so much for so long they go,
"What do I want? Actually, what what is
it? Do I want to go to this thing or
not?" Because all I've done is be
[ __ ] puppeted, right? I've been
marionetted by other people's desires
for so so so long. I can't even tap into
that anymore. And saying no feels like a
war crime. So, so I think it's really
good to be able to view your own mind
and your own thoughts objectively. And
that is the big benefit of meditation.
It creates a small gap between your
conscious observation self and your
mind. And that lets you then look at
your thoughts and evaluate them a little
bit like you would a third party's
statements. And uh if you just take your
mind to be you and they're integrated in
one and the same at all times and you're
reacting from the mind, then you're not
even going to question things that come
into your mind. Anything that comes in
that creates a reaction will immediately
create a reaction. But if you can
observe your thoughts a little bit and
not in some woo way, but you can even
just do it through therapy, you can do
it through journaling, you can do it any
way you like. You can just take long
walks, you don't have to meditate and do
lotus position. Uh all that is
unnecessary. But if you can observe your
own thoughts and view them a little
objectively, then you can start being uh
a little more choosy, a little more
critical and you can realize that there
are no problems in the real world other
than maybe things that inflict pain on
your body. Everything else has to become
a problem in your mind first. You have
to view it and interpret it and create a
narrative that it is a problem before it
becomes a problem. And then you realize
that a lot of your emotional energy is
spent on reacting to things that your
mind is automatically saying are
problems. Uh and you don't need all
those problems. Do you really need that
many problems in your life? Again, I
would say try to focus on just one
overarching problem and then go solve
that problem. It's like if you want to
be successful, define success very
concretely. Focus on that. In everything
else, when it enters your mind, it
becomes a problem. Whether it's a
judgment about the girl walking down the
street or the car that just cut in front
of you or whether it's like you know
this your accountant did this stupid
thing like yes it's going to trigger you
but observe for a moment that like it's
triggering me. I've created a problem.
Do I really want to have this problem
right now? Do I want to spend the energy
on this problem or do I want that going
somewhere else? And it it doesn't have
to be that overt. You don't have to the
mind mud wrestling with itself is also a
problem but because I love to do that. I
have my problems have got problems and I
have a real problem about fixing my
problems. Yeah. Exactly. So you just
you're going to be much happier and much
more focused. Again, I think happiness
and focus and success can kind of
complement each other. You're going to
have much more energy. Just think about
as mental energy. You have much more
mental energy to focus on the actual
problems you want to solve if you don't
start unconsciously, subconsciously,
reactively picking up problems
everywhere. So before anything can be a
problem that takes up your emotional
energy, you have to accept it as a
problem. You can be choosy about your
problems. And I'm not saying I'm perfect
in that regard, but I think I'm better
than I used to be. Well, lots of people
are addicted to solving problems. So
much so that sometimes people create
problems when we don't have any simply
so that we can solve them. We have that
going on. And then even worse is we take
on problems that we can't affect. So,
uh, you know, another one of my little
quips was, uh, you know, um, a rational
person, uh, can, uh, sort of, uh, a
rational person should should cultivate
indifference to things that are out of
their control, right? Uh, or a rational
person can find peace by cultivating
indifference to things that are out of
their control. Uh, and I'm as guilty as
anybody of doom surfing on X or social
media and getting worked up about things
that I can't do anything about, right?
like do I want to be fighting those
battles in my mind when I literally
cannot do anything about it. So if you
find yourself looping on a problem like
you're watching the news too much and
you're getting caught up in a problem
you can't do anything about um you have
to step away from that. And uh modern
media is a delivery mechanism for
mimetic viruses. And now what's happened
now is you know 100 years ago 500 years
ago if something wasn't happening in
your immediate vicinity you wouldn't
hear about it. it wouldn't be a problem
for you. But now every single one of the
world's problems has turned into a
mimemetic virus which is going into the
battlefield of the news and is trying to
infect your mind in real time so that
yeah so that you become obsessed with
the war in Ukraine which is really far
away or you get obsessed with climate
change or you get obsessed with AI doom
or you get obsessed with whatever and
there's nothing as riveting as the old
religion the world is ending the world
is ending pay attention the world is
ending and if you don't Cassandra
complex at global scale Cassandra
complex at global scale And I would
argue that large percentages of the
population are essentially just infected
with these mimetic viruses that are
taken over their brain and are causing
them to do incredible girration about
things that probably aren't even true or
are greatly exaggerated. But even to the
extent they are true, they're things
that that person can do nothing about.
And they should put their own house in
order first. So, you know, another
little line I have for myself is your
family is broken, but you're going to
fix the world. Right? People are running
out there to try and fix the world when
their own lives are a mess. Oh my god.
Right? And and I think it defies
credibility if you can't fix your own
life first. I'm not going to take you
seriously if you can't fix your own
life. Like all these philosophers who,
you know, seem like people you emulate
and so smart or like these brilliant
celebrities and they go off and commit
suicide. Well, you just kind of
invalidated your whole way of life. It's
like that line in uh No Country for All
Men where the killer is waiting for the
protagonist and protagonist shows up and
the killer says, "Well, you know, if
your set of rules brought you here, then
what good are your rules?"
didn't work. Um I I I I am self I'm
holistically selfish in in that I want
to be objectively successful in
everything I set out to want. Mhm. Yeah.
Uh you have one life. Don't settle for
mediocrity. Don't settle for mediocrity.
And and I think the only like people
debate intelligence for example, right?
We talk about IQ tests and all that, but
I think the only true test of
intelligence is if you get what you want
out of life. And there are two parts to
that. One is getting what you want so
you know how to get it. And the second
is wanting the right things. Knowing
what to want in the first place. I could
want to be a, you know, 6'8 basketball
player and I'm not going to get that. So
it's wanting the wrong thing. So that's
wanting something that you can't get.
That's wanting something you can't get.
Is also wanting something that you don't
want. Yeah. Wanting something that's a
booby prize. There are plenty of booby
prizes out there, too, right? I haven't
word in about 20 years. Yeah. Prizes
that are just not worth having or that
create their own problems. Well, if
you're not careful, you can end up in a
place in life not only that you don't
want to be, but one that you didn't even
mean to get to. That's if you're kind of
proceeding unconsciously. Uh, but how
many people and and usually I think
people end up there because they are uh
going on autopilot with sort of societal
expectations or other people's
expectations. So, uh, you know, or out
of guilt or out of like, uh, mimemetic
desire. You know, Peter Teal has this
whole thing from Rene Gerard about how
mimemetic desires our desires are picked
up from other people. Uh, and some of
those are automatically baked into
society like, you know, go to law
school, go to med school, go to
whatever, go to business school. Um, or
they might be from watching what your
friends are doing and, you know, the
other monkeys are doing. Um, or it might
just be, you know, what your parents
expectations are. I might be a guilt.
You know, guilt is just society's voice
speaking in your head, socially
programmed, so you'll be a good little
monkey and do things that are good for
the tribe. Um, but I think the the the
best outcomes come when you think it
through for yourself and decide for
yourself. And I don't think people spend
enough time deciding. For example, we
run on these uh four-year cycles. You
know, in Silicon Valley, you go join a
startup, you vest your stock over four
years. That's the standard. Okay. Um uh
in u uh college, you know, you go for
four years. High school, you go for four
years. Um some things take longer. You
know, you have children, they hit
puberty 9 years later. That's like a
9-year cycle until that relationship
changes. Um but we're used to these
fairly long cycles, multi-year cycles in
which we are committed to things. You go
to law school, you know, four or five
year cycle. You go be a lawyer, 40-year
cycle. These are very long cycles. The
amount of time we spend deciding what to
do and who to do it with, very short,
very very short. Right? We spend, you
know, 3 months deciding, one month
deciding on a job where we're going to
be for 10 years or 5 years. And because
a lot of discovery is path dependent
where the next thing you find on the
path is depend on where you were on the
previous path. You sort of start going
down this vector that is a very long
distance. People decide frivolously
which city to live in and that's going
to decide who their friends are, what
their jobs are, their opportunity, their
weather, their food supply, their air
supply, quality of life. You know, it's
such an important decision, but people
spend so little time thinking it
through. I would argue that if you're
making a four-year decision, spend a
year thinking it through. Like really
thinking it through. 25% of the time.
Yeah. Exactly. There's the secretary
theorem. I don't know if you know that
one. Computer science. After you've done
this many people, pick the best one of
the next however many. That's right.
Yeah. The secretary theorem is this
computer science professor is trying to
figure out uh how much time you should
spend interviewing secretaries and then
how long to keep the secretary. So let's
say he's going to have a secretary for
10 years. Does he keep searching for you
know 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 1 month,
2 months? What is the optimal time? Uh
and it turns out that the optimal time
is somewhere around a third. about a
third of the way through, you take the
best person you've worked with and try
to find someone that good or better. So
that by the time you've got about a
third of the way through, you have,
excuse me, seen enough that you now have
a sense of what the bar is. And then
anybody who meets or exceeds that bar is
good enough. And this applies to dating,
this applies to jobs and careers, this
applies generally. But the interesting
thing about the secretary theorem is
that it's actually not time based. It's
not based on onethird of the time. It's
iteration based. The number of
candidates, the number of shots you took
on goal. That's right. So, you want to
have lots and lots of iterations. So,
that means that you need to bail out
quickly and you need to be decisive
quickly. That's right. You need to you
need to take opportunities quickly and
bail out quickly. Correct. Like if you
go back and you look through failed
relationships, uh probably the biggest
regret will be staying in the
relationship after you knew it was over.
Exactly. You should have left sooner.
The moment you knew it wasn't going to
work out, you should have moved on. So
in that sense, I think Malcolm Gladwell
popularized this idea of 10,000 hours to
mastery. I would say it's actually
10,000 iterations to mastery. It's not
actually 10,000. It's some unknown
number, but it's about the number of
iterations that drives a learning curve.
And iteration is not repetition.
Repetition is a different thing.
Repeating is doing the same thing over
and over. Iteration is modifying it with
a learning and then doing another
version of it. So that's error
correction. So if you get 10,000 error
corrections in anything, you will be an
expert at it. don't partner with cynics
and pessimists. You mentioned there
about uh the people who've got a
nightmare going on at home and are
trying to fix the world. But a lot of
the time that cynicism and pessimism we
find in ourselves. We see the world
whether we want to whether it's because
we've embied what the news or or the
negative people around us have said or
it's a bit more kind of endogenous than
that. It's just sort of in us. It's the
way that we see the world. How can
people avoid cynicism and pessimism
within themselves? Yeah. Synism and
pessimism is a tough one. It's we're
naturally hardwired for it. Again, I go
back to evolution. I I'm sorry to keep
harping on evolution, but within
biology, there's very few good
explanatory theories. And you know,
theory of evolution by natural selection
is probably the best one. So, if you
can't explain something about life or
psychology or human nature through
evolution, then you probably don't have
a good theory for it. And I would say
that pessimism is another one that comes
out of this, which is in the natural
environment, you're hardwired to be
pessimistic. Because let's say that I
see something rustling in the woods and
if I move towards it and it turns out to
be food and prey then good, I get to eat
one meal. But if it turns out to be a
predator, I get eaten and that's the end
of that. So we are hardwired to avoid
ruin um and and uh you know just dying.
So we are naturally hardwired to be
pessimists. But modern society is very
different. Despite whatever problems you
may have with modern society, it is far
far safer than living in the jungle and
just trying to survive. uh and the
opportunities on the upside are
nonlinear. For example, when you're
investing, if you short a stock, you the
most money you can make is 2x. You just
lose, you know, if the stock goes to
zero, you double your money. But if the
stock is the next Nvidia and it goes
100x or a,000x, you make a lot of money.
So upside through because of leverage is
nearly unlimited. Uh also in modern
society, because there's so many
different people you can interact with,
if you go on a date and it fails, there
are infinite more people to go on a date
with. In a tribal system, there might
have been 20 people and you can't even
get through all of them. So, modern
society is far more forgiving of failure
and you just have to sort of
neoccortically realize and override
that. You have to realize that you're
much more running a search function to
find the thing that'll work and then
that one thing will pay off in massive
compounding. Once you find your mate for
the rest of your life, you find your
wife or your husband, then you can
compound in that relationship. It's okay
if you had 50 failed dates in between.
The same way once you find the one
business you're meant to plow into and
it'll compound returns. It's okay if you
had 50 small failed ventures or 50 small
failed job interviews. It doesn't the
number of failures doesn't matter. And
so there's no point in being a
pessimist. It's you want to be an
optimist. But I would say you want to be
you want to be skeptical about specific
things. Every specific opportunity is
probably a fail. But you want to be
optimistic in the general. In the
general you want to be like something in
here is going to work out. How do you
navigate that tension?
I mean, exactly as I said, I'm
optimistic in the general that if
something fails right now, then this is
a little woowoo, but it wasn't meant to
be. It was a learning experience. It was
an iteration. As long as I learned
something from it, then it's a win. If I
didn't learn from it, then it's a loss.
But as long as you're learning and you
keep iterating fast and cutting your
losses quickly, then when you find the
right thing, you have to be optimistic
and compound into it. So, you don't want
to jump into the first thing. And you
don't want to marry the first person you
date necessarily, unless you got very
lucky. Um, but you you want to
investigate and explore very very
quickly until you find the match. And
then you have to be willing to go all
in. You have to be willing to move your
chips at the center of the table. So
both those uh both those uh approaches
are required. So it's a barbell
strategy. It's sort of black or it's
white. And most people are sort of stuck
in this gray bit. And I'm like half in,
but I'm kind of don't really know if I
am. I also think like labels like
pessimist optimist cynic introvert
extrovert, these are very self-limiting.
Humans are very dynamic. There are times
when you feel like being introverted.
There are times when you feel like being
extroverted. There are contexts in which
you'll be pessimistic. There are
contexts in which you'll be
optimistic. Leave all the labels alone.
It's better just to look at the problem
at hand. Look at reality the way it is.
try to take yourself out of the equation
in a in a sense like obviously you're
involved but motivated reasoning is the
worst kind of reasoning. Uh you're not
going to find truth through highly
motivated reasoning. You have to be
objective and objective means trying to
take yourself out of it as much as
possible or at least your personality
out of it as much as possible. And so to
the extent you run with this thick
identity and personality, it's going to
cloud your judgment. It's going to try
and lock you into the past. If you say,
"I'm a depressed and unhappy person.
Yeah, I'm going to be unhappy." That's a
way of locking yourself into your past.
Even saying, "I have trauma. I have
PTSD." Yeah, you you feel something.
There are memories. There are flashes.
There are occasional bad feelings, but
don't define yourself by it because then
you'll lock it into your identity and
you're just going to loop on it. It's
better to stay flexible because reality
is always changing and you have to be
able to adapt to it. Adaptation is also
intelligence. Adaptation is survival.
Adaptation is kind of how you're here.
You're here because you're an adapter
and your ancestors were adapters. So to
adapt, you will be able to see things
clearly. And if you're seeing them
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drinklnt.com/modernwisdom. That's
drinklnt.com/m modern
wisdom. Moving on to sort of thinking
about happiness. Obviously a topic of
yours that's
a it's honestly the one that I feel
least qualified to talk about. Is it
like a guy that's got long arms teaching
you how to bench press or a dude that's
really tall teaching you how to
deadlift? someone that feels like they
came from behind the eightball. Yeah. Is
you're you're asking a crazy person
about their thoughts. So, just thought
it through. Is happiness still more
about peace than it is about
joy? It's just one of those overloaded
words that means different things to
different people. So, I'm not even sure
we're communicating the same language.
But,
uh what is
happiness? I think it's just basically
being okay with where you are.
Not wanting
not wanting things to be different than
the way they are. Not having the sense
that anything is missing in this moment.
Needing something to change your current
positive situation being contingent on
an adjustment. I'm getting something
from the outside
world.
Ironically, I think most people if you
were to ask them when they were happiest
for a sustained period of time, not for
a brief moment, because pleasure can
override happiness and create kind of
this illusion of happiness. But if you
ask people when they were happy for a
sustained period of time, they were
probably doing some variation of
nothing.
That's interesting because in the chase
is this sort of lack, this contingency.
That's right. But then you get bored. If
you just sit around all the time, you
get bored. So you want adventure, you
want surprise. Like there's a funny
thought experiment of the bliss machine,
right? Which is suppose I could drill a
hole in your head and put electrode in.
And they did this with monkeys and I can
put a wire in there and I can stimulate
just the right part of your brain and I
can put you in bliss and you'll just be
in bliss. Would you would you want that?
Would that be nice? For how long? Do it
and I'll tell you. Right. So most people
will say, "Well, I don't want that. I
want meaning. I don't want just bliss. I
want meaning." And you're like, "Okay,
well, I'll put an electrode in there and
I'll give you meaning. How about that?"
And if you kind of run this thought
experiment long enough, I think most
people realize actually what I want is I
want surprise. I want and I want the
world to surprise me and I want to
wrestle with it in ways that are
somewhat predictable but somewhat not.
And you kind of end up back where you
started. So I I don't know if
necessarily for some people Pure
happiness is the ultimate goal. They
want to, you know, just be blissfully
happy wherever they are, whenever they
are. But I think other people, most
people would say, well, I'm here in this
world. I'm here in this life. I don't
understand it or why, but I want to be I
want to be engaged. I want to be
surprised. I want to do things. I want
to accomplish things. I want to want
things and then get them. Right? That's
kind of the whole game that we're all
playing here. Surprises are really
interesting. the sort of
unpredictability. I think total bro
science here, but I'm pretty sure that
that's kind of how dopamine works. That
things are a bit better than you
expected. That within that it means that
if you for the perennial insecure
overachievers that uh cloy for control
that really want to be able to the
schedule is perfectly done and we know
the itinerary, we know where we're going
to be at this time. you're in some ways
I guess reducing down the capacity for
surprise because everything has become
uh very contrived prescribed done in
advance laid out your ability to be
surprised actually diminishes. Yeah. If
if nothing worked out the way you
expected, if it was all serendipity and
you didn't want that, you would just be
a ball of anxiety. On the other hand, if
everything worked out as you expected
and wanted, you'd be so bored you might
as well be dead. So there's some, you
know, the the river of life kind of
flows between these two banks and enjoy
it. You say thinking about yourself is
the source of all unhappiness, but
presumably you need to work on yourself
and your weaknesses as well. So some
degree of reflection is important. And
if thinking about yourself is a source
of unhappiness, is this a price that you
need to pay? I need to sort of reflect
inward. I'm going to have to diminish
this level of happiness for a little
while and then I can use this new level.
I've got my brown belt on and I can go
out into the world as a brown belt. What
I'm specifically referring to that
is if if you're thinking about your
personality and your ego and the
character of you and uh you're obsessing
over that, that's where a lot of
depression and unhappiness sort of
lingers and and gets cultivated. M uh so
uh thinking about woe is me, this
happened to me, that happened to me, I
have this personality, I have this
issue, I deserve this, I didn't get
that. That's you're just strengthening a
little beast in there that is
insatiable. And that's where I think a
lot of unhappiness comes from. What's
the beast? It's the ego, but that word
is so overused that I kind of hate to
use the word. Um, but it's like a it's a
recurring collection of thoughts that
are very self-obsessed and will never be
satisfied and very concretized as well.
So, they're not malleable, not
particularly flexible. Well, you're just
adding to them by thinking about them
all the time. You're creating narratives
and stories and identities. Um, but
that's different from solving personal
problems. So, if you encounter
something, you learn from something,
you're reflecting upon the learning,
then you can reflect upon it, absorb it,
and then just move on. But sitting there
saying, "I'm Chris. I'm Nal. I deserve
this. This happened to me. That person
wronged me. This is who I am. This
shouldn't have happened. I need to go
get revenge on this or I need to fix
that or change this." I mean, that I
think is where a lot of mental illness
is is, you know, comes from. Mhm. So, it
depends if you are thinking about
something to solve a problem and get it
off your chest and get it off your mind.
If it leaves your mind clearer at the
end of it, then I think it was
worthwhile. If it leaves your mind
busier at the end of it, then you're
probably going the wrong direction. Is
this a a justification
for detachment? Uh cultivated ignorance,
uh distraction. Detachment is not a
goal. Detachment is a byproduct. It's
it's just a byproduct of just realizing,
you know, what matters and what doesn't.
Uh and and just for one moment on the
self thing, I think everybody craves
thinking about something more than
themselves. If you want to be you know
happy to some extent you have to forget
about your personal problems and one way
to do that is take on other problems
bigger problems uh and that could be a
mission that could be s that could be
spirituality that could be kids um it
could be caring about the planet
although I think people take that a
little far you know and then they get
kind of oppressive and and tyrannical in
support of abstract concepts but so
these can be taken too far just like
religion for example just like anything
in excess anything in excess right um
But generally the less you think about
yourself, the more you can think about a
mission or about God or about a child or
something like that. So I remember
Vinnie Himmath uh the founder of Loom
said uh I am rich and I have no idea to
do what to do with my life and you
replied God, kids on mission. Pick at
least one. That's right. Preferably all
three. It's very
liberating. Um, yeah, thinking I think
overthinking about yourself is probably
the it's it may not be the cause of
depression, but it certainly doesn't
help.
Rumination. Yeah,
I I kind of had a self-induced Stockholm
syndrome from this sort of a thing cuz I
like to think about stuff and you
provide you with an endless number of
things to think about. So, you're kind
of Yeah, you have this um you're the
prisoner and the prison guard at the
same time. And I had Abigail Shrier on
the show. She was wrote this book called
Bad Therapy, sort of pushing back
against therapy culture for kids,
specifically for kids. But there was a
blast radius that covered pretty much
everything, including kind of CBT. I'm
like, we're getting perilously close to
some really evidence-based stuff here.
But the more that I've thought about it
and the more that I've looked at the
evidence, there is like basically a
direct correlation between how much you
think about yourself and how miserable
you are. Therapy is great if it lets you
vent and it solves a thing and then X
session later you're done. You're clear.
But if you're just looping on the same
thing forever, then it's actually the
opposite. You're bathing in it. You're
indulging in it. Yeah.
Yeah. How have your become happy
techniques developed over time?
Yeah, I used to have a lot of them. Uh,
now I kind of try not to have any
because I think the techniques
themselves are kind of a struggle. It's
sort of like bidding for status implies
you're low status. It reveals that
you're low status. So, someone who's
basically trying to show off uh comes
across as low status. The same way
someone who's trying to be happy is sort
of saying I'm unhappy and creating that
frame. So it's better just to not even
think in terms of position yourself as
being in lack in order to attain. Yeah.
I don't even think in terms of happiness
unhappiness anymore. I just kind of just
do my thing. Again, another question
that's similar to a bunch of them. Do
you think you could have got there had
you have not done the procedural
systematic sort of step by step by step
this is what it is and then come out the
other side? I don't think there are any
formulas. I think it's unique to each
person. It's like asking a successful
person how did you become successful?
Each one of them will give you a
different story. uh you can't follow
anyone else's path and most of them are
even probably telling you some
narratized version of it that isn't
quite true. I mean that's something that
I continually realize especially as I
get to spend more time around people
that are successful and you hear um it's
very important to prioritize work life
balance right that's one of the most
common things that people who have
attained success say that's not my
experience but if you look at you
shouldn't be asking somebody who is
successful what they do to continue
their success now you should be asking
them what did they do to attain their
success when they are where you were and
the people who are really
extraordinarily successful didn't sit
around watching success
porn. They just went and did it. They
just had they had such an overwhelming
desire to be successful at the thing
that they were doing that they just went
and did that thing. They didn't have
time to study and learn and listen and
they just did it. It's the overwhelming
desire that's the most important and the
focus that comes from
that. What's that tweet of yours that
was uh people who are good at making
wealth or people who are good at
attaining wealth don't need to teach
anybody else how to do it. Yeah. You
don't need mentors, you need action.
That was one of them. Another one is you
know the uh the people who actually know
how to make money, you don't need to
sell you a course on it. There is um
yeah, there's lots of variations on it.
But if you don't Another one is if you
don't lie awake at night thinking about
it, you don't want it badly enough.
Yeah. I think you I've heard you talk
before about how um sort of unclosed
loops problems that you're working on
can cause you to be sleepless and uh
this I'm not a good sleeper. Tell me
about that. Oh, I mean my eight sleep
hates me. It's always on me. I failed at
sleeping again. Brian Johnson thinks I'm
going to die early. He's probably right.
But I I How much do you reckon you sleep
a night? You got any idea? Oh, it's so
random. Some nights I'll sleep 8 hours.
Some nights I'll sleep 4 hours. But it's
literally just random. Are you bothered
about that? You trying to optimize? Are
you your sleep coach teaching you how to
I don't fogg myself over things? Uh if I
want to sleep, I'll sleep. If I don't
want to sleep, I don't sleep. It's not a
I don't think I'm doing anything right
or wrong. You don't label it good night,
bad night. No, I work out every day
because I think it gives me more energy
and I've gotten into a good habit with
it. Maybe I'll do the same thing with
sleep. Maybe I'll develop a good habit,
but I'm not going to beat myself up over
it. there'll come a point where it's
important to me and when it's important
to me I'll just do it you know most of
like for example you look at people with
addictions right overeating or smoking
or whatever they can kind of go through
all the different methods but it's
half-hearted and then one day they're
like oh [ __ ] I've got lung cancer my dad
has lung cancer and they drop it
immediately right so I think a lot a lot
of change is more about desire and
understanding than it is about uh
forcing yourself or trying to
domesticate yourself it's efficiency
again, I guess, you know, aligning the
thing that you want to do with the way
that you feel about what it is that you
want to do. Yeah. It's not it's not
getting caught up in a in a half desire
or a mimemetic desire. It's really
just being aware of what it is that you
actually want at this point in time. And
when you want something, then you will
act on it with maximal capability. And
that's the time to act on it. in the
meantime, just doing it because other
people tell you you should do it or
society tells you you should do it or
you feel slightly guilty about it. These
are these are half-hearted efforts and
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mus.com/modernwisdom and modernwisdom a
checkout. You mentioned anxiety before.
Uh, imagine how effective you'd be if
you weren't anxious all the time is is
one of yours. Anxiety is the emotion
dour of the 21st century. And lots of
driven people, very anxious, very
paranoid. That's what's caused them to
be affected. It pays so much attention,
detail oriented, not letting things go.
Staying up at night thinking about it.
That's the paranoia coming in. What have
you come to learn about anxiety and
dealing with it? So anxiety and stress
are interesting. They're very related.
Stress is when uh like if you look at an
iron beam, when an iron beam is under
stress, it's because it's being bent in
two different directions at the same
time. So when your mind is under stress,
it's because it has two conflicting
desires at once. So for example, you
know, you you want to be liked, but you
want to do something selfish, and you
can't reconcile the two, and so you're
under stress. Uh you want to do
something for somebody else, you want to
do something for yourself, right? These
are examp you you don't want to go to
work, but you want to make money, so
you're under stress, right? So you have
two conflicting desires and I think one
of the ways to get through stress is to
acknowledge that oh I actually have two
conflicting desires and either I need to
resolve it. I need to pick one and then
be okay losing the other or I will
decide later. But at least just being
aware of why you're stress can help
alleviate a lot of stress. And then
anxiety, I think, is sort of this
pervasive unidentifiable stress where
you're just kind of stressed out all the
time and you're not even sure why and
you can't even identify the underlying
problem. I think the reason for that is
because you you have so many uh
unresolved problems, unresolved stress
points that have piled up in your life
that you can no longer identify what the
problems are. And there's this mountain
of garbage in your mind and it's a
little bit of it poking out the top like
an iceberg and that's anxiety. But
underneath there's a lot of unresolved
things. And so you just need to kind of
go through very carefully every time
you're anxious. Like, okay, why am I
anxious this time? I don't know why. Oh,
well, let me sit here and just think
about it. Let me let me write down what
the possible causes could be. Let me
meditate on it. Let me journal. Let me
talk to a therapist. Let me talk to my
friends. Let me just kind of see like
when does that stress go away? If you
can kind of identify and unravel and
resolve these issues, then I think that
helps get rid of anxiety. uh a lot of
the anxiety is piled up because we move
through life too quickly not observing
our own reactions to things. We don't
resolve them. So this goes counter to
what I was saying earlier about not
reflecting too much on things. But you
reflect on the problems to observe them
and solve them. You don't reflect on
them to feel better about to indulge
them. Well, if if if you're doing it to
just feel better about yourself, that
could be strengthening your personality
and your ego and could be creating a
more fragile personality. Um, you know,
one one big anxiety resolver for me is
just ruminating on death. I think that's
a good one. You're going to die. It's
all going to zero. You cannot take
anything with you. And I know this is
trit. And I know the the we don't spend
enough time thinking about the big
questions. We kind of give up on them
when we're very, very young. You know, a
little child might ask the big questions
like, why are we here? What's the
meaning of life? What is this all about?
You know, is there Santa Claus? Is there
God? But then as adults, we're taught
not to think about these things or we've
given up on them. But I think the big
questions are the big questions for good
reasons. And uh if you can keep the idea
in front of you at all times that you're
going to die and that everything goes
literally to
zero. What's there to stress about?
Yeah. For better or worse, life is very
short. How should people deal with its
briefness?
Enjoy
it. Make the best of it. You know, it's
it's even briefer than that. Each moment
just disappears. it's gone. There's only
a present moment and it's gone
instantly. So if you're not if you're
not there for it, if you're stressed out
or you're anxious or you're thinking
about something else, you missed it. So
you're any moment when you're not in
that moment, you are dead to that
moment. You might as well be dead
because your mind is off doing something
else or you know living in some imagined
reality that is just a very poor
substitute for the actual reality. So
one of my recent realizations was what
is wasted time? What is a what is a
waste of time? So I don't like to waste
time but what is wasted time? And
everything is wasted time in a sense
because nothing matters in the ultimate.
Uh but in each moment the thing matters.
In each moment it's the only thing that
matters actually the what's happening in
front of you is literally has all the
meaning in the world. And so what
matters is just being present for the
thing. So if you're doing something that
you want to do and you're fully there
for it, then it's not wasted time. If
you don't want to do it and your mind is
running away from it and you're reacting
against it and you're wishing you were
somewhere else and you're thinking about
some other thing or you're anticipating
some future thing or regretting some
past thing or being fearful of
something, then that's wasted time.
That's time that's being wasted when
you're not actually present for the
reality in front of you. So my
definition of wasted time, yes I do want
some material things in life and I you
know there there are things that have
more value than others within this life
but this life is very short and bounded.
So the true wasted time is a time that
you're not present for when you are not
there for it. When you're not doing the
thing you want to do to the best of your
capability such that you're immersed in
it. If you're not immersed in this
moment then you're wasting your time.
People get worried about dying and no
longer being here, but they don't
realize that so much of their life is
spent not being here in any case. That's
right. But and I think people crave
being here for it. And and and when
you're here for it, you're actually not
thinking about yourself. You are more
immersed in the thing, the the moment,
the task at hand. We don't want peace of
mind. We want peace for our mind. That's
right. Yeah. You don't peace. The mind
is what can eat you alive if you let it.
And there's more to you than the mind.
How so?
Well, I mean the
very I don't want to disassemble the
body, so to speak, right? Because please
go on. Yeah. At the end of the day, like
everything arises within your
consciousness, right? You you got
nowhere else to experience it. Sorry.
You've got nowhere else to experience.
Nowhere else to experience it. And that
consciousness is is uh relatively static
in the sense that it's been exactly the
same from the moment you were born to
the moment you die. And everything that
you experience from your body from your
mind to the world to to everything is
within that consciousness. Uh and that
thing that base layer of being and this
is what the Buddhists will tell you is
the real thing. Everything that comes
and goes in the middle including your
mind including your body is unreal. And
trying to find stability in those
transient things is is your castle that
you're building on sand that's going to
crumble. Life is going to play out the
way it's going to play out. There will
be some good and some bad. Most of it is
actually just up to your interpretation.
You're born, you have a set of sensory
experiences, and then you die. How you
choose to interpret those experiences is
up to you. And different people
interpret them in different ways. Yeah.
The whole line about two people walking
down the street, they're having the
exact same experience. One is h
experience. One is happy, one is sad,
right? It's a narrative in their heads.
It's how they choose to interpret. Um,
so I think when I said that, it was a
long time ago. I was talking more about
having positive interpretations and
negative interpretations, but these days
I think it's better just not to have any
interpretations and to just allow things
to be.
You're still going to have
interpretations. You can't stop it. Uh
and nor should you try, but even that
having an interpretation is just a thing
you can leave alone.
Yeah. I really want to try and just dig
in a little more to the best way to
remind people that they should value
their time. Just how brief it is that
the time that you spend ruminating,
being distracted, fears of the past,
regrets.
Well, I don't want to tell anybody how
to live their life. I would just say
that to the extent that you want to
improve your quality of life, the uh the
easiest and best way to do that is to
observe your own mind and your own
thoughts and and be a little not not
necessarily critical but um be observant
of yourself more objectively and then
you'll kind of realize your own loops
and patterns. It takes time. It's not
it's not overnight. It's not
instantaneous. So you mean letting go is
not a one-time event. Yeah. And and
there's letting go is not necessarily
even the right answer. Like yes, if
you're trying to be an enlightened being
and you know you want to live like a god
and everything's going to be perfect and
be a Buddha, sure you can let go. But uh
I think in practice it's actually quite
hard to do.
Um, I think I would say that it's uh
you're going to find a lot of
fulfillment out of life by just doing
what you want to do and genuinely
exploring what it is that you want
rather than doing what other people
expect you to do or society expects you
to do or what you might just think
should be done by default. Um, you know,
I think most older successful people
will tell you that their life was best
when they lived it unapologetically on
their own terms.
Be selfish. Holistic selfishness.
Exactly. We can clip that little
selfish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just keep
running back. Bad guy. Great. I I had
this insight or a question I guess. How
much do you think that we should trust
the voice in our heads? Because half of
wisdom suggests to rely on your sort of
bottomup intuition and then half of it
has to be sort of top down rational as
possible. How do you navigate the
tension between head and gut in this
way?
I think the gut is what decides. Um the
head is kind of what rationalizes it
afterwards. The gut is the ultimate
decision maker. If it doesn't and and
what is the gut? The gut is refined
judgment. It's taste aggregate
aggregated and it could be aggregated
through evolution uh and it's in your
genes and your DNA or it could be
aggregated through your experiences and
what you've thought through. The mind is
good at solving new problems and uh new
problems in the external world that have
defi defined edges, you know, beginnings
and ends and and
objectives. What the mind is actually
really bad at is making hard decisions.
So when you have a hard decision to
make, I find it's better to yes, you
ruminate on it. You think through all
the pros and cons, but then you sleep on
it. You wait a couple of days. You wait
until the gut answer appears with
conviction and it feels right. And when
you're younger, it takes longer because
you just don't have as much experience.
And when you're older, uh, it can happen
much faster, which is why, you know, and
you have less time to Yeah. And old
people are more set in their way as a
consequence, right? They know what they
want. They know what they don't want.
Um, so it takes time to develop your gut
instinct and judgment. But once you've
developed them, don't trust anything
else because you can't go against your
gut. It'll bite you in the end. Uh
usually in relationships that failed,
you can look back and say, "Oh, actually
I knew it was going to fail because of
this reason, but I kind of went ahead
anyway because I wanted it to be this
way, right? I wanted this person to be a
different way than they are or I wanted
to get a different thing out of it than
I thought I was going to than I knew I
was going to get, but I just wanted it."
So sometimes desire will override your
judgment and then trap. Yeah. Wishful
thinking. It traps you into a into a
pathway that chews up time. What's that
uh inside of yours? Uh we think we can't
change ourselves but we can. We think we
can change other people but we can't.
Exactly. Uh I think to add to that you
can't change other people. You can
change your reaction to them. You can
change yourself but other people only
change through trauma or their own
insight on their own schedule and never
in a way that you like. Yeah. Alanderon
says that uh people do sometimes change
but rarely in relationships and never
when they're told to. Absolutely. Yeah.
The fastest way to kind of alienate
somebody is to tell them to change. In
fact, uh the Dale Carnegie School of
Public Speaking, you know, the way that
operates is, uh they get you up there
and they realize that the number one
problem with public speaking is uh that
uh people are very self-conscious and so
uh people who are practicing in the Dale
Carnegie School of Public Speaking, I
don't know, I never went through But I
heard this secondhand so I could be
wrong but I like the story where they
get up and they start speaking and the
people in the audience are only allowed
to compliment them genuine compliments
not fake compliments on things that they
did well but you're not allowed to
criticize them on things that they did
poorly and eventually they kind of get
through it and they develop the
self-confidence the same way uh there's
like the Michelle Thomas school of
language learning and on that one what
they do is you listen to a teacher
talking to a student they're not
teaching you you're not expected to
remember memorize anything you just
listen to a student stumbling over the
language. It's a better way to learn
because you yourself don't feel
flustered. You're being tested, graded.
Oh, so you're not in your own head as
much. Correct. You're not in your own
head and you're just you might even be
laughing at the student or you might be
agreeing with the teacher or vice versa
or sympathizing with the student. But
because you are a passive observer, you
can be more objective about it and you
aren't threatened or fearful and you can
learn better. And coming back to the
original point of you can't change
people. If you do want to change
someone's behavior, I I think the only
effective way to do it is to compliment
them when they do something you want.
Not to positive. Exactly. Not to insult
them or be negative or critical when
they do something you don't want. And we
can't help it. It's obviously in our
nature to criticize. And I do it as
well. But it just reminds me that like
when somebody does something
praiseworthy, don't forget to praise
them. Like definitely go out of your way
and and it'll be genuine. It has to be
genuine. It can't be a fake thing. uh
this is not, you know, one of those uh
just dropping compliments type thing
eventually that people will see through
that. They want authenticity, but just
don't forget to praise people when they
do something praiseworthy and you'll get
more of that behavior. There was a a
really famous thread on Reddit about
five questions to ask yourself if you're
uncertain about your relationship. One
of the questions was, "Are you truly in
love with your partner or just their
potential or the idea of them?" And
that's the, you know, they show such
great promise. They they look at their
look at their ability for for for change
and growth. They they they they're on
the right path. The partner matching
thing is so hard. Uh you know, when
people come and ask me like, "Oh, should
I be with this person?" Like, "Well, if
you're asking me, the answer is clearly
no." Right? Because you wouldn't have to
ask if you were with the right person or
when you ask someone like why they're uh
in a relationship with somebody and they
start reading out his or her resume,
right? That's also a bad sign. What do
you mean? Oh, it's like, oh, we have so
much in common. We like to golf
together. It's like it's not a basis for
a relationship. Or, oh, you know, she's
a ballerina or, you know, he went to
Harvard or what have you. These are
resume items. That's not who the person
actually is. What's a better answer? I
just love being with this person. I just
trust them. I, you know, I I enjoy being
around them. I I I love how capable he
is. I love how kind kind she is. You
know, I love her spirit. I love his
energy.
uh the more the the more materially and
concretely definable the reasons are
you're together, the worse they are. The
ineffable is actually where the sort of
true love lies because real love is a
form of unity. It's a form of
connection. It's connecting spirits. Oh,
you two, my consciousness meets your
consciousness. It's a the the the
underlying drive uh in love, in art, in
uh science, in uh mysticism is the
desire for unity. It's a desire for
connection. As you know, Bourhees
famously wrote, "In every human, there's
a sense that something infinite has been
lost." You know, there's a God-shaped
hole in you you're trying to fill. And
so, we're always trying to find that
connection. Love is trying to find it in
one other person and saying, "Okay,
you're male, I'm female, or whatever."
And you know, whatever your
predilictions are, and now now we
connect, now we form a hole uh connected
hole. Or in mysticism it's like it's all
about okay sit down meditate and you'll
feel the whole. In science it's like oh
uh you know atoms bouncing is mechanics
but that generates heat. So
thermodynamics and motion or kinetics
are one combined theory that's a whole.
Electricity and magnetism are one thing
that's that's a whole creates that sense
of awe. Uh in art it's like I feel an
emotion I create a piece of art around
it and then you see that painting or you
see the cysteine chapel or you read the
poem and you feel that emotion. So
again, it's it's creating unity. It's
creating connection. Uh and I think
everybody craves that. And so when you
really love somebody, it's because you
you feel a sense of wholeness by being
around them. Uh and that sense of
wholeness probably doesn't have anything
to do with what school they went to, you
know, or what career they're in. Just
sort of tying that into the life is
short, stop [ __ ] about. Uh if you're
faced with a difficult choice and you
cannot decide, the answer is no. And the
reason is modern society is full of
options. Yeah. Knowing this rationally
sounds sounds great, but having the
courage to commit to it in reality, I
think is a different task. And cutting
your losses quickly in the big three,
relationships, jobs, and locations is
hard. What would you say to someone who
may cerebrally be able to agree with you
and say, "I understand the answer." My
cousin said this about me. He said that
uh he said what I really he says what
I've really noticed about you is your
ability to walk away from situations
that are just not great enough for you
or not good enough for you. And I think
that is a characteristic that I have. I
will not accept second best outcomes in
my life.
Um ultimately you will end up wherever
is acceptable to you. You will get out
of life whatever is acceptable to you.
Um, and there are certain things to me
that are very very important where I
will not settle for second best. But
then there are a lot of other things I
just don't care about because if I spend
all my time caring about those things, I
don't have the energy for the few things
that matter. And uh, so in decision-m I
have a few heruristics for myself. Other
people can use their own, but minor. If
you can't decide, the answer is no. If
you're offered an opportunity, if you
have a new thing that you're saying yes
or no to that is a change from where
you're starting, the answer is by
default always no. Secondly, uh if you
have two decisions, if you have A or B
and both seem like very equal, take the
path that's more painful in the short
term, the one that's going to be painful
immediately because your brain is always
trying to avoid pain. So any pain that
is imminent, it is going to treat as
much larger than it actually is. This is
kind of like a decision-making
equivalent of Talib surgeon. Uh tell
surgeon where you want the surgeon
doesn't look as good because he's more
likely to be a good surgeon. Yeah, it's
similar in that appearances are
deceiving because you're avoiding
conflict. You're avoiding pain. So take
the path is more painful in the short
term because your brain is creating this
illusion that the short-term pain is
greater than the long-term pain. Because
long-term, yeah, you you'll commit your
future self to all kinds of long-term
mana. Mñana exactly mñana. So take the
more short-term painful one. And then
finally, the last one which I would
credit Kapo Gupta with uh is that you
want to take it take the choice that
will leave you more equinimous in the
long term. By quantumous he means like
more at peace, more mental peace in the
long term. So whatever clears your mind
more and will have you having less
self-t talk in the future, if you can
model that out, that is probably the
better route to go. And then I would
focus decision-m down on the three
things that really matter because
everything else is downstream of these
these three decisions. Especially these
are early life decisions. Later in life,
you have different things to optimize
for. But early in life, you're trying to
figure out who you're with, what you're
doing, and where you live. And I think
on all three of those, you want to think
you want to think pretty hard about it.
And people do some of these
unconsciously. You know, who you're with
very often it's like, well, we were in a
relationship. We stumbled along. It felt
okay. It had been enough time, so we got
married, right? Not great reasons. Maybe
not terrible reasons either. I mean,
people who overthink these things
sometimes don't get the right answer.
But maybe here, if you're the kind of
person that's not going to settle for
second best, you iterate. You iterate on
a closed time frame so you don't run out
the clock. And then you decide um on
what you do. You try a whole bunch of
different things until you find the one
that feels like play to you, looks like
work to others. You can't lose at it. Um
get some leverage. try to find some
practical application of it and go into
that. And then where you live, uh where
you live is really important. I don't
think people spend enough time on that
one. I think people pick cities randomly
based on where I went to school or where
my family happened to be or where uh my
friend was or I visited one weekend. I
really liked it. You really want to
think it through because where you live
really constrains and defines your
opportunities. Um it uh it it's going to
determine your friend circle. It's going
to determine your dating pool. It's
going to determine your job
opportunities. It's going to determine
the food and air and water quality that
you receive. Um, it's going to determine
your proximity to your family, which
might be important as you get older and
have kids. So, very, very, very
important decision. Weather, you know,
quality of life. How much do you stay
inside or outside? How long are you
going to live based on that? And I think
people choose that one probably more
poorly than they put a lot less thought
into that one than the other two. I in
some ways, yeah, but also the You're so
right. How many people fall backward
into a relationship and before they know
it, we're living together, we got a dog,
we got a kid, we were married and you
Yeah. And then when you have kids,
because then that's half of you and half
of them running around, you're never
going to separate yourself from that. So
once you have a child with somebody,
then the most important thing in the
world to you is half that other person
whether you like them or not. Mhm. Yeah.
Uh Jeffrey Miller had a tweet a long
time ago that I always think about and
he said every parenting book in the
world could be replaced with one book on
behavioral genetics that I'm a big
believer in genetics. Yes, I do think a
lot of behavior is downstream of
genetics and I think we underplay that.
We like to overplay nurture and
underplay nurture for sorry underplay
nature for societal reasons but nature
is a big deal. Um the temperament of the
person you marry is probably going to be
reflected in your child by default.
People can change a securely attached
kid, pick a securely attached partner.
Well, the secret to a happy relationship
is two happy people, right? So, I would
say if you want to be happy, then uh be
with a happy person. Don't think you're
going to be with someone who's unhappy
and then make them happy down the road.
Or if you're okay with them being
unhappy, but there are other things you
like about them, that's fine. But this
goes back to the unhappiness with other
things. Yes. And actually we we talked a
little bit about how people do connect
successfully, you know, on spirit and
and those things, but that's maybe a
little too abstract. If you want to get
a little more practical, it could be
based on values. And values are a set of
things you won't compromise on. Values
are tough decisions of, oh, my parent
got sick. Do they move in with us or do
we put them in a in a nursing home? Uh,
you know, the ch do we give the children
money or do we not? uh you know do we um
do we move across the country to be
closer to our family or do we stay put
where we are uh you know do we argue
about politics do we care or do we not
right the values are way more important
than checklist items uh and uh I think
if people were to align much more on
their values they would have much more
successful relationships
the emotional pain of uh fearing change
I have this thing the job the location
the partner I'm going to enter or not
enter this thing. For the most part,
it's leaving. I think we have this sort
of loss aversion that that we really
feel evolved loss aversion. It's just
painful separating yourself in front of
your friends. It's embarrassing. And how
how would you advise people to uh get
past themselves with the loss aversion
that fear of change? Oh my god, am I
going to Yeah, it's the hardest thing in
the world. Uh starting over. It's back
to the zero to one thing. It's uh it's
the mountain climbing thing. You're not
going to find your path to the top of
the mountain in the first go around.
Sometimes you go up there, you get
stuck, and you come back down. And the
difference between all the successful
people and the ones who are not is the
ones who are successful want it so badly
they're willing to go back and start
over again and again whether in their
career or in their relationships or in
anything else. The more seriously you
take yourself the unhappier you're going
to be. You learned how to take yourself
less seriously. Well, fame doesn't help
on that one because that is one of the
traps of fame. People are always talking
about you. they have a certain view of
you and you start believing that and
then you take yourself seriously and
then that limits your own actions. You
can't look like a fool anymore. Um you
can't do new things anymore. You know,
tomorrow I announce I'm a break dancer,
right? That's going to be met with a lot
of scorn and ridicule. But what if I
want to be a break dancer? I'd back I'd
back you if you want to make that. Yeah.
The truth is if I want to be a break
dancer, I'd be break dancing. But uh you
know like I'm starting a new company
0ero to one again from scratch. Let's do
it you know one more time. uh and not
just going and raising a big VC fund or
retiring or what have you, but that's
because I want to build the product. I
want to see it exist. So, I think that
you constantly just have to force
yourself. You have to remind yourself.
Um, look, deep down you're still the
same Chris you were when you were 9
years old. Deep down, you're still a
kid. Uh, you know, you're still curious
about the world. You're still have a lot
of the same predilictions and desires
and wants. You've got a nice veneer on
it. But one of the nice things when you
have kids is you realize how much closer
they are to you in personality and
knowledge and knowhow. Like I look at my
son who's uh you know he's eight and uh
I just noticed like wow he's probably
has 60 to 80% of my knowledge and
development wisdom and he has a lot more
freedom and he has a lot more
spontaneity. In some ways he's smarter
and there's not a big gap here left to
close. this kid's going to be, you know,
done very soon. It caught up to me. And
so to the extent that I think I know
better or that I'm somewhere or that I'm
someone, it's it's just an illusion.
It's is it's just a belief. What's the
lineage between that and taking yourself
too seriously?
I shouldn't take myself too seriously
because there's nothing here to take
that seriously. And if I take myself too
seriously, then I'm going to get
trapped. I'm going to get I'm going to
circumscribe myself again into a limited
set of behaviors and outcomes that keep
me from being free, keep me from being
spontaneous, keep me from being happy.
Um,
so it it just goes back to the, you
know, don't think about yourself too
much. There's a special type of pain in
realizing that the advice that you need
to hear right now is something that
almost always you learned a long time
ago and that you know you're basically
sort of the same person you were as you
were nine. You know a lot of the time
people ask questions like um what advice
do you wish that you would give yourself
10 years ago? People ask themselves that
question
almost invariably the advice that you
would give yourself 10 years ago is
still the advice that you need to hear
today. Absolutely. That's why I did that
exercise of thinking back, you know, 10
years, 20 years, 30 years ago. What
advice would I give myself? For me, it's
just be less
emotional. Don't take don't take
everything so seriously. Do the same
things, but do them without all the
emotional turbulence.
And so, that's the advice I'm giving
myself going forward. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's funny how we need that
distance to be able to be a little bit
more objective, to have a little bit
more perspective. And it's almost a
little bit of a trick, right? Because
typically when you do that you say who
what would you tell a friend that was
going through this right and then you
try and turn the advice to the friend
around onto yourself but you always
think well I'm not the friend you go
okay you 10 years ago there's enough
distance in that you go oh I actually am
still that person there's just a single
line between that and related to this
story is I think understanding is way
more important than discipline now Jaco
would have a fit but you know on
physical things discipline is important
if I want To build a good body, I got to
work out on a regular basis. But on
mental things, I think understanding is
way more important. Once you see the
truth of something, you cannot unsee it.
All of us have had experiences where
we've seen a behavior in a person and
then it just changes what we think about
that person. We no longer want to be
friends with them or we deeply respect
them if it was, you know, really good
behavior that maybe was observed
unintentionally.
Um so when we when we really do see
something clearly it changes our
behavior immediately and that is far
more efficient than trying to change
your behavior through repetition. Could
you give me an example?
Um if you were let's say that you know
you have a friend and then that person
turns out to be a thief you see that
person stealing something you're done
with them.
uh if you are uh you know the the
smoking lung cancer example is a good
one right someone close to you or
anytime someone close to you dies or you
even hear about someone dying you hear
about someone dying what's the first
thing you do the first thing assuming
that you weren't that close to them
obviously you're close to them it's
different but if you weren't that close
to them but you know you hear about
someone in your extended social dying
you immediately start trying to
different distinguish yourself from them
you're like oh well how old was this
person you know did they have were they
a smoker you know did they have an issue
do I have issue, right? You immediately
start comparing and what what you're
what you're doing there is you're sort
of just trying to see if there's an
overlap here. But if you see the truth
in something, if if you're like, "Oh my
god, this person was the same age as me
and they died." And that's starting to
happen in my age where I'm starting to
hear about, you know, extended circle
people just reminds you time is really
short. There's a truth there. There's a
truth there that you cannot
action. There's a truth there that you
cannot unsee. Uh, you know, or for
example, I think were you into
bodybuilding or something back when? I
don't know. Like bro lifting stuff of a
skinny [ __ ] Yeah. Right. But there
probably was a point where you were uh
being really aggro in the gym and you
injured yourself many times, right? And
each one of those was an deep
understanding of don't go beyond this
point, right? There was a truth there.
So again, when you when you see these
things in such a way that you can't
unsee them, that changes your behavior
instantly. And I would argue that that
introspection to find those truths is
actually very useful. Is that a
justification for more experimentation,
exploration, experience in life, sort of
trying to find serendipity because all
of these experiences are going to teach
you a inescapable
lesson. You're going to do what you're
going to do. I mean, your level of
exploration, I think, is sort of up to
you. But life is always throwing truth
back at you. Uh, it's about whether you
choose to see it, whether you choose to
acknowledge it. Uh, even if it's
painful. Truth is often painful, right?
If it wasn't, we'd all be seeing truth
all the time. Reality is always
reflecting truth. That's all it is. Why
would you not have accessed it already?
Exactly. Uh, you know, all the all the
philosophy that's out there, for
example, uh, it's almost trit. Like most
people they look at philosophy like
until they discover it for themselves
and because because wisdom is the set of
things that that cannot be transmitted.
If they could be transmitted, you know,
we'd read the same five philosophy books
and we'd all be done. We'd all be wise.
You have to learn it for yourself. It
has to be rediscovered for yourself in
your own context. You have to have
specific experiences that then allow you
to generalize and see the truth in those
things in such a way that you're not
going to unsee them. But each person is
going to see them in a different way. I
can tell you that Socrates story and
it's not going to resonate until there's
something that other people desire that
you realize you yourself don't want. And
the moment that happens, then you'll see
the truth in the general statement. I
want to just read you a twominute essay
that I wrote uh a couple of weeks ago.
It's called unteable lessons. Okay. I've
been thinking about a special category
of lesson, one which you cannot discover
without experiencing it firsthand. There
is a certain subset of advice that for
some reason we all refuse to learn
through instruction. These are
unteachable lessons. No matter how
arduous or costly or effortful it is
going to be for us to find out
ourselves, we prefer to disregard the
mountains of warnings from our elders,
songs literature historical
catastrophes, public scandals, and
instead think some version of, "Yeah,
that might be true for them, but not for
me." We decide to learn the hard lessons
the hard way over and over again.
Unfortunately, they all seem to be the
big things, too. It's never new insights
about how to put up level shelves or
charmingly introduce yourself at a
cocktail party. Instead, we spend most
of our lives learning firsthand the most
important lessons that the previous
generations already warned us about.
Things like money won't make you happy.
Fame won't fix your self worth. You
don't love that pretty girl. She's just
hot and difficult to get. Nothing is as
important as you think it is when you're
thinking about it. You will regret
working too much. Worrying is not
improving your performance. All your
fears are a waste of time. You should
see your parents more. You'll be fine
after the breakup and will be grateful
that you did it. It's perfectly okay to
cut toxic people out of your life. And
even reading this list back, I'm rolling
my eyes at how [ __ ] trite it is.
These are all basic [ __ ] obvious
insights that everybody has heard
before. But if they're so basic, why
does everyone so reliably fall prey to
them throughout our lives? And if
they're so obvious, why do people who
have recently become famous or wealthy
or lost a parent or gone through a
breakup start to proclaim these facts
with the renewed grandio ceremony of
someone who's just gone through
religious revelation? It's also a very
contentious list of points to say on the
internet. If you interview a billionaire
who says that all of his money didn't
make him happy, or a movie star who said
that her fame felt like a prison, the
internet will tear them apart for being
ungrateful and out of touch. So, not
only do we refuse to learn these
lessons, we even refuse to hear the
message from those warning us about
them. And even more than that, I think
for every one of these, if I consider a
bit deeper, I can recall a time,
including right now, where I convinced
myself that I am the exception to the
rule. That my particular mental makeup
or life situation or historical wounds
or dreams for the future render me
immune to these lessons being
applicable. No, no, no. My inner
landscape would be solved by skirting
around the most well-known wisdom of the
ages. No, no, no. I can thread this
needle properly. Watch me dance through
the minefield and avoid all of the trip
wires that everyone else kicks. And then
you kick one. And you share a knowing
luck, the kind that can only occur
between two people who have been hurt in
the exact same way. And a voice in the
back of your mind will say, "I told you
so."
That's a good essay. I I think one of
the reasons why these lessons are
unteachable is because uh they're too
broad. They have to be applied in
context. A number of the ones that you
laid out contradict each other. Like
spend more time with your parents and
you know don't work so hard but you know
at the same time you do want to be
successful, right? I think I think a lot
of these lessons come from down on high
from as you said like the famous movie
star or the billionaire saying oh you
don't need me to be happy. It's like
well okay then give it up [ __ ] right?
Uh
so in reality I think many of these
contradict each other and they it's like
if you went to school and you just study
philosophy for four years you would not
know how to live life because you
wouldn't know which philosophical
doctrine to apply in which circumstance.
Uh you have to actually live life go
through all of the issues to figure out
what it is that you want. What's the
context in which some of these things
apply and some of them don't. Um, yes,
you want to visit your parents more
often, but you don't want to live with
your parents, and you don't want to
necessarily see them every day or every
weekend, depending on the parent. You
might not get along with one of them.
So, I think it is highly contextual. Um,
that said, I I I would argue that once
you figure it out for yourself, you can
kind of carve these variations on these
maxims that apply to you. And uh then
you'll have a specific experience that
helps you remember it and actually
execute on it. And you can also phrase
it in a way where it's not trit anymore.
So like my personal Yeah. So so a lot of
my maxims and notes to self are carved
in a way that they're modernized.
They're saying something true which
might be trit if I didn't say it in a
new way or in an interesting way that is
more relevant to me today. There was a
Nobel Prize winner who said something to
the effect of uh everything worth saying
may have been said before but given that
nobody was listening it must be said
again. Yeah. It has to be said again has
to be recontextualized for the modern
age. Things do change, technology
changes, things culture changes, people
change. On that, I've heard you say uh
you talk about the difference between
seeming wise and being wise that uh you
tried to appear smart as a kid uh by
sort of wrote memorization masquerading
as insight and wisdom. And uh I I
certainly feel that you know a lot of
the show for me I think has been was and
still is a redemption arc from this you
know decade of my life where I
completely suppressed any intellectual
curiosity. It's like okay I'll be a
professional party boy for 10 years
stand on the front door of a nightclub
and give out VIP wristbands and have
access to all of the pretty girls or you
know the cool parties or whatever it
might be. Seems like it worked out okay.
It did in some ways. I mean fun. It's it
it was look it was a good way to spend
my 20ies but to sort of come back above
put your head above water two degrees
one of which was a masters and then this
like just shut down any of that learn I
mean I I did that while I was at uni
while I was at uni I was running the
events so it was actually a decade and a
half and uh I think there was a big
redemption arc within this show and I I
constantly have to kind
of wipe the slime off me of this sense
that I need to prove myself and so much
of it this why it really resonates with
me um when you're memorizing things that
indicates that you don't understand them
or that sort of yeah wrote memorization
and regurgitation masquerading as wisdom
um because people use fluency as a proxy
for truthfulness and insight. They use
the complexity of your language and your
communication. Yeah, there's a lot of
jargon out there. I think it's it's it's
the mark of a charlatan to explain a
simple thing in a complex way. And so
when you see people using very
complicated language to explain simple
things, they're either trying to impress
you and offiscate or they don't
understand it themselves. Well, there's
an allure in that though. You know, this
was one of the things I had to do when I
went to therapy. It's kind of an
interesting I think I've talked about
this before. Um, I needed to turn off
podcast Chris when I stepped into
therapy because most of the time that I
spend one-on-one in a deep conversation
that's undistracted throughout the week.
I trained myself over, you know, when I
started doing it, 700 episodes now, 900,
whatever. Uh, and I I knew what I could
do to say to this therapist some, you
know, to just sort of veer off a little
and create some nice story, put a bow on
it, push it across the table, and watch
her eyes light up a little bit, like a
little grin or a self-deprecating joke
or whatever. I'm like, you're not here.
You're you're performing. You're doing
this. You're doing the Chris Williamson
thing with the sort of jazz hands. So, I
have my own version. Okay, tell me.
Okay, so you have podcast Chris, I have
podcast guest Naval, precisely. So, very
often I'll uh think of something, I'll
have some what I think is an insight and
I want to tweet it or write it down, but
in my mind, I'm talking about on a
podcast. That's kind of how my mind
registers it. And for a while, I thought
this was a bad thing and I tried to
eradicate podcastal and then I just
realized that's just how it comes out.
So, I might as well just be okay with
it. Now, do you know the reason I'm on
this podcast? No, you know, I haven't
done a proper formal interview straight
up top whatever 10 20 podcasts in a long
time. Since Rogan, maybe. Probably since
Rogan. Yep. Yeah, it went out at the
top, right? That was a theory. Yeah.
Well, it's still at the top. Yeah. Yeah,
I know. And and then, you know, I've
done some stuff with Tim Tim Ferris, a
good friend, but that's been more
co-hosting. I haven't been a guest. Um,
and then I did one or two random things
where I just stumbled into a thing where
I, you know, there was a reason, but it
wasn't like this. And I reached out to
you for this one, right? I have lots of
people reaching out to me for podcasts.
I do not answer them. I reached out to
you. And the reason is a really funny
one. It's because when I am playing
podcast in the vault in my head. For
some reason, you're on the other side.
And I don't know why. I literally don't
know why. It's not like I've even seen
many of your podcasts. I think I've seen
some snippets here and there, but for
some reason, you were the guy in the
podcast in podcast. And so I was like,
"Oh, I might as well just do it." So I
reached out to you. I wonder if this
will close that loop or further entrench
it. I wonder if you've made it way worse
now and you're just gonna have Well,
first off, it was a dream and now it's
reality plus a dream and I can't get
away from him. Yeah, there are enough
people that I turned down where I said
I'm just not doing podcasts. I feel bad
about that. I got to go back and do
those podcasts. But I probably wear out
my luck. I have nothing new to talk
about. So, I don't know what I'm going
to say. Well, I appreciate you. You said
on Rogan and this was something, you
know, to kind of pay it back to you. Uh,
I had a a fiveheaded Mount Rushmore of
guests before I started this show and it
was Jordan Peterson, Sam Harris,
Alanderon from the School of Life, you
and Rogan, and that was my uh hydra of
Mount Rushmore. And uh I knew I think
someone had asked you at some point,
maybe it was a tweet or something after
Rogan or maybe even said it on Rogan
where you said, uh, I don't like to say
the same thing twice, at least not in
the same way. I don't like sequels.
Yeah. Yeah. And I really really
respected that. You know, that was 2019.
You said it was uh eight or nine years
ago. It wasn't as long ago as you. I
have a terrible memory. Yeah. Yeah. Um
you're right. 2019 right before co Yes.
And uh I really appreciated that because
there is
something the content game you can
continue to sort of I'm sure I'll have
said many things today that the the
audience will have already heard but
uh caring enough about having novel
insights or at least having a new
perspective on similar insights to say
oh well you know in the space of six
years since you were on Joe a lot of
these well I'm coming at them actually
the first thing I said to you today like
I'm not convinced that I actually fully
agree with that thing that I used to
say, which is cool, right? That's you
showing that the um position that you
put in the ground previously is not a
tether. It's not you being held to it
anymore. Well, I I think the reason why
I wanted to be on this is
because for some reason I have the
impression that you engage in
conversations and I like conversations.
I don't like interviews. Mhm. This is
why I was doing my last startup air
chat, which was all about conversations.
And conversations to me are more
genuine. They're more authentic. There's
a give and take. There's a back and
forth. There's a genuine curiosity. It's
not to say the other podcasters don't do
it. They absolutely do do it. But for
some reason in my mind, I had you as a
guy that I would actually have a
conversation with. And sure enough, you
just read me your essay, which I don't
think anybody else would really do,
right? That implies there's a give and
take. There's a genuine curiosity. And I
think that's useful because then uh
certain inexplicit knowledge that I had
will be surfaced for myself. And I think
that's helpful. Well, you're seeing, you
know, to kind of break the fourth wall a
bit, you're seeing very much of uh some
of the gateway drug insights that you
had that you just don't get to choose.
I'm aware that you kind of have an
anti-guru sentiment in you, like a very
strong like don't listen to me. I don't
know what I'm doing. A trap. No, guru is
a trap. do not follow me, do not bow to
me, do not do any of the other things to
me. But, uh, if you see resonance in
another person, and I think this is what
we're all trying to find. You know,
people can complain about the mountains
of content creation that happens and and
maybe rightly so. Um, but if you're able
to find someone and you see in them a
little bit of you, maybe not even much
of you, but like, oh, that bit of them,
their self-esteem or the way they look
at relationships or what they want to
do, the kind of life they want or the
level of peace of mind that they want to
have or whatever it might be. If you
find in somebody else a little bit of
that, it's kind of like what you're
saying before, you can't you can no
longer be unconvinced of that and it it
steps in and becomes a part of you. And
uh yeah, you're maybe seeing reflected
back to you some you know this sort of
percolated very meandering insight from
however long ago that something's
happened and maybe in you know 5 years
time you'll be like you know that thing
that you said about the lessons of the
blah blah blah and then I don't know
it's cool that's like synthesis right
it's this sort of blending of the reason
I spend a lot of time in San Francisco
is because it's a gravitational
attractor for the smartest people in the
world and despite all the many problems
the city had is mismanaged beyond
belief. Um it does just seem to pull in
the young, smart, creative people. Uh
not just the ones who are building
technology, but they're exploring every
facet of life and they're weird and
sometimes it's repulsive and it's
bizarre, but you talk to these people
and you just see a very intelligent
person coming at life in a completely
different way. um putting it through the
cominatorics of human DNA which are
uncountable and giving you a weird
perspective that can twist your mind
around. And to do that, you always have
to be learning. You you have you can't
be in a guru mentality. If I'm with
somebody and they're listening to every
word I say and hanging on it, that's not
interesting for me. I'm not going to
learn anything. Um, I want people who
are intelligent, who will say something
back that is a little different and I
may not agree with it, but it's going to
leave a mark. It's going to leave an
impression and it's going to leave an
impression to the extent that both that
they are correct and that I choose to
listen and I'll choose to listen if I
don't view myself as higher status or
smarter than them. The flip side of that
is I'm not really impressed by high
status people like I don't just because
the case pretty much in fact uh most of
my friends who have gone on to become
very uh famous successful the more
famous successful they've been the less
I spend time with them um partially
because they get surrounded by an army
of sickop fans which gets hard to break
through uh and because I don't want
anything from them and I don't and I
don't like that I don't like these
situations in which transactional
relationships are implied a gift to
people who are of that because the
higher that they climb up that
hierarchy, the fewer and fewer people
don't want anything from them. So in
that way you can be an even better
friend, right? But they get they get
surrounded by people who do want things
from them and are so good at pretending
they don't that it's just not worth my
time to try and break out from that
group. Um so it does get lonely at the
top so to speak, but it's also by choice
because you know it's you can problem.
Yeah, you can be your own best friend
too. I am my own best friend actually.
So, I really do enjoy spending time with
myself. Yeah. The smartest people aren't
interested in appearing smart and don't
care what you think is. Yeah. I mean, a
a lot of life is not giving a [ __ ] You
know, a lot of the best things in life
come out of that. Does this
mean sort of talking about that
memorization masquerading as wisdom and
insight thing which I
think perhaps almost certainly uh
podcasts like this will have contributed
to. you know, you hear a an Alander
boton who's, you know, like a painter
with words. Uh, very simple, very sort
of unpretentious, but if you're
intellectually curious, you see, you
only see the production of his thoughts.
You don't necessarily see the work
that's gone into the thoughts behind.
So, you confuse the presentation of them
for the insight. Does that make sense?
Of course. Yeah. A lot of my stuff is
more polished. Like one of the funny
things, yeah, one of the funny things
that uh right before this uh podcast was
I thought maybe I should go back and
read my old tweets to sort of remember
what I said and I can articulate it
well. But then I realized that's just
performance. I would just be memorizing
my whole stuff to perform. I Well,
that's an extra special level of hell
that you've descended into wrote
memorizing me to be more mely. Bingo.
And and to live up to some expectation
or some uh famous personality that I now
have to become some straight jacket that
I have to put on. that I'm having to
live up to in private the things that I
prefer. That's right. So, of course,
pretty quickly I saw through that, you
know, it's nonsense and it also
constrains my time and it's just work
and I think that's that's you know your
meditation practice at work there that
mindfulness gap to be like, huh? Yeah,
there's that thing again in Exactly.
Exactly. So, it's not about changing
your thoughts. It's not about fixing
your thoughts. It's not about changing
yourself. It's just about being
observant of yourself so that you can
then it'll automatically change.
Whatever change needs to happen will
happen. uh you trying to change yourself
is very circular. Um the mind trying to
change the mind is the mind doesn't want
wrestling with itself. I don't I don't
think it gets you anywhere. You've spent
a lot of time either creating wealth or
thinking about how to create wealth.
What have you learned are the best
places to spend wealth? To spend wealth.
Yeah. Yeah. How you you spend this time
creating this wealth
accumulating? How does what are the best
ways for you to put it back out? I
actually think Elon had this one figured
out, which is he plowed his own money
back into his own businesses to go and
do bigger and better things for
humanity. Um, so what I would like to,
you know, you could give it to
nonprofits, but a lot of nonprofits are
grifty or it's people who didn't earn it
trying to spend it or they don't have
tight feedback loops on having a good
effect. So, one of the things I want to
do as an aside is I want to create a
little school for young physicists. But
that's that's my nonprofit. Yeah, that
that that's my nonprofit thing. But uh
and I've been and I've actually uh
underwritten
uh media and some physics stuff. I don't
like to talk about it. So I don't I
don't talk about my whatever so-called
philanthropy because I think that makes
it less real. That makes it more status
oriented. Makes it less philanthropic.
Yeah. Exactly. And then people look at
how charitable my charity is. And then
people also come hunting for money. So
there's all that disease. I don't
believe in giving to schools. They have
enough money. Ivy Leagues have enough
money and they don't know how to spend
it. So I think the best use of money is
I think a good business creates a
product for people that they voluntarily
buy and they get value out of. So in
that sense I think Steve Jobs and Elon
and and uh entrepreneurs like that have
created a lot of value for the world. So
one of the things I can do is I can take
my own money and I can invest it in
myself to go and build the next great
thing that I think needs to exist. And
that's basically what I'm doing right
now. I'm doing a new business. I'm
self-unding it. Um, I'm plying a lot of
money into it. I'm going to build
something that I think is beautiful,
that I want to see exist. Um, I really
want to see exist. Have you spoken about
this yet or is it still dark mode? It's
so early. It's Yeah, maybe I'll show it
to you in a few months. Uh, hopefully 6
months. Um, and uh, I'm excited about it
and that's a good use of money. What
about the worst places to spend wealth?
What is the old line? If it flies,
floats or fornicates.
Well, very nice way to change the final
F. Very impressive. That's the way I
heard it. Can't take credit for it. I'm
pretty sure it's Fox, but Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I think that was u Maybe it was uh
Felix Dennis. Okay. Who Who had that
quote? Yeah. He said, "If a flies floats
or fornicates gets rented." I I think
the last one was a little
too It's wrong that he he didn't have a
family, he didn't have kids. So, you
know, he missed the big one. Um but
yeah, there there are lots of bad ways
to spend money. Uh, I I I believe in
investment, you know, I don't believe in
consumption. Uh, yes, you can you're
born with a short housing position. You
close that out, you get yourself a nice
house. Um, get yourself some help to
free up your time so you're not doing uh
things that other people can do better.
Um, treat people well. You know, always
overpay and expect the best. Uh, pay
them like they're the best and expect
the best. Um, but overall I think a good
use of money is to take risks and build
things and do things that other people
can't do. Align it with your own unique
talents so you can keep delivering to
the world. I'm not going to sit idle.
Uh, I'm not going to retire. That's a
that's a waste of whatever time I have
left on this earth. Um, and if I'm doing
something I enjoy, then I'm already in
perpetual retirement. Um, because work
is just a set of things you want to do
that that that you have to do that you
don't want to do. So if you want to do
it, it's not work. Um, and so there are
things that I want to do don't feel like
work. I can put money behind them and I
can use that to make instantiate them
into reality. And I don't want to say
make the world a better place cuz that's
too trit, but it's more just create a
product that I'm proud of that wouldn't
exist otherwise that other people will
get tremendous value. And it's been
enabled through wealth because you're
able to take a level of risk that you
wouldn't have been able to otherwise.
Exactly. Yeah. Wealth gives you freedom.
It gives you freedom to explore more
options. And in my case, it gives me
freedom to start businesses without
having to ask other people for
permission or to warp my vision based on
uh their desires to make a return or how
they think money should be made. Is
there anything that you'd add to the how
to get rich thread? Is there anything
where you thought [ __ ] like just one if
I could go in and edit and add one more
in or or Oh, there's like 10,000 things.
I could talk about that topic forever to
be honest. like that that that thread
was so short and it was so limited and
it was so like you know crafted in a
sense although I wrote it very
spontaneously um it left so much on the
cutting room floor that I could just
talk about that topic for days but it's
all contextual right business is very
very very contextual like you have to
look at the particular business and
understand what's being done and why
it's being done and how it's being done
and then you can tear it apart or you
can re and then reassemble it properly
um and I like to think that That is
actually where I have specific knowledge
and expertise. My specific knowledge,
expertise is not in happiness, not in
philosophy, not Yes, my life is very
hacked to be very unique. But I don't
think that's where my specific knowledge
is. My specific knowledge is in being
able to analyze a business, especially a
technology business, and take it apart
at the seams and predict in advance what
is likely to work and what is not likely
to work. Clubhouse notwithstanding.
um because you're still going to be
wrong most of the time. It's like
playing the lottery, but you know one or
two of the tickets numbers in advance.
You only have to be right a few times or
even just once to to get the big score.
Um you know, Peter Thiel started PayPal,
but he made all his money on Facebook,
right? And now he's done more since
then, obviously. But that was the big
winner. And that's true in any power law
distribution. Number one is going to
return more than two through n put
together. Two will return more than
three through put together. You're
operating in a highly leveraged
intellectual domain. So the outcomes are
going to be nonlinear. Um so I I know a
lot about that topic but it's highly
contextual. It makes a lot more sense if
there's a specific business in front of
me, a specific entrepreneur and I can
take that apart and I can say you know
so there are certain companies where
I'll say oh this is not going to work
because you the entrepreneur are doing
this for the wrong reasons. You're
you're doing A so you can get to B just
go to B. Or you're doing this to make
money when really the person who's doing
this because they love the product is
going to beat you. or you're raising
money from the wrong people who are in
it for the wrong reasons or your
co-founder is not in it for the right
reasons or you don't have the right kind
of co-founder or your vesting schedule
is wrong or you're starting the business
in the wrong place or you're approaching
it from this angle instead of that angle
and and of course I'll be wrong too but
I've just seen a lot of data I have my
theories around it uh and that's where I
feel very comfortable operating the
problem is when I have to talk about how
to create wealth and how to get rich is
a clickbait title deliberately but When
I talk about how to create wealth,
talking about it in the abstract is very
difficult because then you just want to
speak truth. You have to just say the
timeless stuff. You have to be right in
almost every context. And so it really
limits what you can say. The lack of
specificity makes it Yeah. Correct. It's
back to philosophy. But when I if I can
get specific about it, you know, that's
when that's when the real knowledge is
like a wealth counselor for people.
Yeah. Part of the reason why I started
doing podcasts and you know, this is ego
at play. I'll admit it freely. When I
was tweeting, you know, I kind of
pioneered philosophy Twitter, if you
will, or a certain kind of practical
philosophy Twitter where in 140
characters, I would try to say something
true in an interesting way that was
insightful to me at the time. But then
that got copied. There's thousands of us
now, right? Thousands of people spitting
it out, chat GPT, trying to create these
things all day long. Um although I like
to say I like to think that my stuff is
incompressible. I'm saying it in the
tightest way possible. Mh. um which is
kind of a little failed poetry
background. Um but what I realized was
if you truly have a deep understanding
of something then you can talk about it
all day long. Then you can rederive
everything you need from that
understanding. No memorization required.
You can get to it from first principles
and every piece of what you know is is
like a it's like a Lego block that just
fits in and forms a steel frame. It's
solid. It's locked in there. And so on a
podcast, I can unload much more deeply
about some of these topics. Um, so for
example, we can talk about any business
you like, but it has to be in context.
It has to be real. It has to be an
actual problem. Then we can solve it. I
I just really love that heristic of if
you're having to memorize something,
it's because you don't understand it.
You don't understand it. That's right.
If you if you if you have to memorize
something, it's because you don't
understand it. And if you understand
something, you don't have to memorize
it.
Yeah. I again, you know, just to sort of
call
out a lot of what I tried to do this
redemption arc thing of if I sound
smart, that's like being smart, right?
You go, well, chat GPT has memorized the
entire internet. Good luck competing
with that. Mhm. You're not going to beat
memorization. You're not even going to
beat a library of memorization. You're
not going to beat any 10 books in
memorization. So memorization is not the
thing. Understand the value of
memorization is going down by the day.
It's already so low. Understanding is a
thing. Being able to being able Judgment
is the thing. Taste is a thing. Um, and
understanding judgment taste these
come out of having real problems and
then solving them and then finding the
commonalities. What is philosophy?
Everyone, you live long enough, you'll
be a philosopher. Philosophy is just
when you find the hidden generalizable
truths among the specific experiences
that you've had in life and then you
know how to navigate future specific
experiences based on some heristics and
you create a philosophy around that. Any
subject pursued deeply enough will
eventually lead to philosophy. Mastery
in anything, literally anything, will
lead you to being a philosopher. You
just have to stick with it long enough
and generalize the truths back out. And
these are universal truths. It's back to
the unity and variety. You can find you
can find unity in anything if you go
deep enough. And that's why the trit
stuff unfortunately sort of keeps coming
back around. You're like, well, look,
this is cliche for kind of a reason.
It's cliche for reasons. Uh but you
know, sometimes you learn new things.
Sometimes you do figure out new things
too. Uh even even in philosophy for
example science has advanced as science
has advanced it's actually expanded our
boundaries of philosophy. Um when we
used to think that uh you know the earth
was the center of the universe you would
actually have a different philosophical
outlook than when you think the universe
is vast and we're infantestimally small.
It will give you a different
philosophical outlook. uh the same way
if you think that uh the nature is
driven by angels and demons and gods
versus if there are laws of physics that
are computable and understandable that
will lead you to a different
philosophical outlook. Uh if you think
that knowledge is something that is
passed down from above and through
generations versus something that is
created on the fly and then tested
against reality that will lead you to a
different philosophical outlook. If you
think humans are created by God as
opposed to humans evolved from some, you
know, unicellular organism, yeah, it
still doesn't solve the original problem
who created that, but at least it takes
you further back down the road. Even sim
theory is an attempt at reformulating
philosophy based on what we know about
computers, even though it kind of leads
to a lot of the same conclusions as you
know, creator. But it it it is at least
philosophy that is informed by
technology and by science. So philosophy
can also invol evolve moral philosophy
involves right uh there was a time when
every culture practically that was a
conquering culture practice slavery now
almost all cultures abore slavery that's
moral philosophy having evolved um you
know there was even like this sounds too
ludicrous to be true and I don't know if
it fully is true but there were a a
fairly large group of doctors based on
studies who believed until the 1980s
that babies couldn't feel pain and so
even to this day I think circumcision is
done without anesthesia and because
under the theory that you know very
young children babies don't feel pain
and that's ludicrous and there was a
study that came out in the 80s that said
no no they do feel pain it's like oh
yeah of course right so people can be
stuck in bad philosophical traps for a
long period of time so even philosophy
can make progress and uh as an example
one of the realizations that I had and
this is thanks to uh David Deutsch and
my friend James Pierce and also thinking
it through a little bit is that there
are these timeless old questions that we
run into where the answers seem like
paradoxes. So we stop thinking about
them. So an example is free will. Do you
have free will? Or does anything matter?
Is there a meaning to life?
And there and and we get stuck in them
because for example, is there a meaning
to life? Like yes, life has a meaning
because you're you're right here. You
create your own meaning. This this
moment has all the meaning you could
imagine. It's all the meaning there is.
On the other hand, you're going to die.
It all goes to zero. Heat, death, the
universe has no meaning. Right? So which
one is it? Well, the reason why it seems
paradoxical is because you're asking the
question of a human here and now at a
certain scale and a certain time and
then you're answering it from the
viewpoint of the universe over infinite
time. So, you pull the trick. You switch
the level at which you're answering the
question and questions should be
answered at the level at which they're
asked. So, if you ask the question, is
there meaning? You Chris are asking that
question. Yes. Yes. To Chris, there is
meaning. There's meaning right here.
This is the meaning. you can interpret
any meaning you want onto it. Um, don't
ask the question as Chris and then
answer it as God or as the universe.
That's the trick that you're playing.
That's why it seems paradoxical. The
same way you can say, do I have free
will? People debate free will all day
long. This the question is answered at
the wrong frame. So they ask the
question is do I as an individual have
free will? Hell yeah, I have free will.
My mind body system can't predict what
I'm going to do next. The universe is
infinitely complex. I'm making a choice
in my mind and I'm doing something.
There's my free will. So answer at the
level at which you're asked. Of course I
have free will because I feel like I
have free will and I treat you like you
have free will and you treat me like I
have free will. We have free will. The
problem then is you start trying to
answer the question as if you're the
universe. You're like well on the
universal scale big bang particle
collisions. No one makes any choices.
You know how could you be any different
than the what the universe wants you to
be and it's all one block universe. So
you don't have free will. Don't answer
the question at the level at which it
wasn't asked. So if God asked the
question is there free will? No there is
no free will. the universe asks a
question, there is no free will. But if
an individual asks a question right now,
then yes, there is free will. So a lot
of these paradoxes resolve themselves,
philosophical paradoxes that people have
been struggling with since the beginning
of time when you just realize there
you're you're answering them at a scale
and time different than they were asked.
Speaking of updating beliefs, is there
anything that you've changed your mind
around recently?
Very recently. I mean, all the time. Uh,
but are you talking about like
philosophical existential things or like
technological things? Yeah,
philosophical existential things or
anything that comes to mind. If there's
anything that's front of mind where you
go, "Ah, yeah, that's a pretty big OS
update." Yeah, I'm less lazy fair than I
used to be on a societal level. I think
that culture and religion are good
cooperating systems for humans. And so,
if you want to operate in a high trust
society, you need to have sets of rules
that people need to follow and obey so
they get along even if they're, you
know, one sizefits-all doesn't work for
everybody. Moved up a little bit from
libertarian. Yeah. I think pure
libertarians get out competed and die,
right? They get overrun because they're
every man for himself. They can't
coordinate. They can't coordinate.
Exactly. Right. Um so the coordination
problems, right? Uh culture exists to
solve fundamental coordination problems.
Religion solves coordination problems.
Ethnicity solves coordination problems
historically. Um and when you uh break
down those coordination systems too fast
and don't replace them with anything
else, you get societal breakdown. So you
can have very malfunctioning societies.
you know, go to Japan versus go to any
western city and you can see the
difference being a a culture that's
working and a culture that's not. Um, so
I I think that that's like a a broader
set of things that I've changed my mind
on uh a fair bit. I used to be much more
lazy fair on that stuff, let's put it
that way. Mhm. Um, what else? I mean, on
child raising, I've gotten a lot looser.
You know, I'm still not like completely
less afair, but I'm much more realized
like kids are going to be kids and you
kind of let them do their thing. The
debate with them. Is it a Talib that has
the ascending levels of like anarchism
versus conservatism? Is that his
insight? Like at the local level, I'm
this. It seems like you've gone the
other way. It's like at the child level
I'm an anarchist and the societal level
I'm a conser. No, he he was quoting
somebody else, some brothers, I forget
which ones, but he was making the point
eloquently as he often does uh that uh
at you know at at the family local level
he's a communist. At the family level
you're communist. uh at maybe the the
extended family level you're a
socialist. At the local level, you know,
you're kind of a uh a democrat and so on
until at the federal level you're a
libertarian, right? So, you've done it
the other way. You're being a
libertarian with the kids and you're
being religious conservative but
societal. No, that's that's that's a
that's a funny way of looking at it. I
don't I don't know if the scale is that
that simple. Um what else have I changed
my mind on? I mean, I think the modern
AI is really cool. I think it's but I
think these are natural language
computers. Um they are starting to show
evidence of kind of uh reasoning at some
levels but I don't think they do
creativity. I think modern
AI one of so just on that one of my
favorite takes is from Dwark Ash Patel
and he says um
uh if you gave any human on the planet
0.0 0 0 0.1% of the consumption that a
LLM has. Any LLM, they would have come
up with thousands of new ideas, right?
Give me one new idea, one fundamental
new idea that's been generated. Yeah.
Like I'm big into poetry. Every poem
ever written by an LLM is garbage. I
think even their fiction writing is
terrible. Even the new GPT45, with all
due respect to Sam and Crew, uh I I
think they're terrible, terrible
writers. I find them really bad at
summarizing. They're really good at
extrapolating, you know, paperwork. um
they're very bad at actually distilling
the essence of something and what's
important. They don't have an opinions
or a point of view. But they're still
unbelievably powerful breakthroughs.
They solve search. They solve natural
language computing. They make English a
programming language. They solve
driving. They solve uh simple coding and
backup coding. They solve translation.
They solve transcription. Um they are a
fundamental breakthrough in computing.
It is a different way to program a
computer. rather than you explicitly
speak its language and write the code
and then run the data through it. You
just run enough data through it until it
figures out how to write the program.
That's huge. Um but are they are they
AGI? Not yet. And I don't see a direct
path from here to there. Um maybe we'll
have to solve a few more problems before
that happens. And I think ASI is a
fantasy. I don't think there's any such
thing as uh artificial super
intelligence where it has some kind of
intelligence that humans can't fathom.
Okay. Uh yeah, it seems like I don't
know if you're from the boss room camp
or whatever in No, I'm not an AI doomer.
I think that's such a flawed line of
reasoning. But let's say that you know
you came out of the less wrong.com like
slate style codec world and there was
this sort of lineage from computers and
AI gets more powerful more powerful more
powerful and then you end up AGI ASIS
and it seems like LLMs have been this
sort of orthogonal move from that which
are you saying you don't believe they
are a step on that it's kind of a little
bit of a traditional branch I think
Steven Wolf puts it better it's a
different form of intelligence it's like
if you see Jaguar in the jungle, it has
a different form of intelligence in your
like a plant has a form of intelligence
how it can like photosynthesize and
grow. It's a different form of
intelligence. It's not and intelligence
again like love or like happiness is
this overloaded word that means many
things to many people. But by my
definition where you know the true test
is you get what you want out of life. It
doesn't even have a life. It doesn't
even want anything. It's a different
thing. Um I do think it's unbelievably
useful. I'm glad that it exists. You
don't see it much yet in large scale
production systems replacing humans
because this tendency to hallucinate. So
you can't put it into anything mission
critical confidently wrong one time out
of 10. Correct. And it doesn't even know
when it's wrong. Uh and maybe they'll
get that one out of 10 down to one out
of 100. But you'll kind of always want
human oversight for critical critical
things. I I always feel so bitter. It's
I'm petty sometimes. My my less
economist version of me is petty and I
always want to like teach it a lesson if
it gets something wrong. like how the
[ __ ] like no you were so confident I'm
treating it but I'm anthropolicizing
anthropology it doesn't have a point of
view and they are going to get a lot
better and they might get to the point
where the error rates are so low that
you can put them into certain bounded
problems like self-driving I think will
be solved completely uh because it's a
bounded problem cars don't you know go
like off-road and drive through houses
and stuff like that right so because and
and same way like certain kinds of
coding the creative side of coding I
think doesn't go away I think if
anything programmers get even more
leverage and more powerful And rather
than computing replacing programmers,
programmers use AI to replace everybody
else. On Tesla versus Whimo, would you
bet on software or hardware for
self-driving? Yeah. So the I think
Tesla's in the stronger, longer term
position, but it's hard to argue with
what's working right now. And Whimo is
working right now. So I would not
underestimate them because there's a
learning curve that you go through when
you actually deploy something. And Whimo
is way ahead in that regard. But Tesla's
camera only approach if it works uh is a
superior. It's much more scalable and
Tesla knows how to print cars, right?
They can just mass manufacture cars. But
I think I think they'll both be around.
They'll both be fine. It's everybody
else who doesn't have a self-driving
vehicle that's screwed.
You mentioned uh kids there and you had
a tweet that said, "I'm not convinced
that declining fertility needs to be
proactively fought." I forgot that one.
You're going to have to I'm I dug deep.
Um why? Well, I mean, think back like
what was it 30 years ago, 20 years ago,
everybody was saying overpopulation of
the earth is going to be a problem.
Althusian ending, we're going to have
too many people. And now all of a
sudden, we're going to have too few
people. So, part of it is just the
doomerism meme is always alive and well,
right? Or it just gets repackaged. Yeah.
We're running out of oil. We have too
much oil, right? You know, it's like the
world is cooling, the world is warming.
Like there's always something to scream
about. The world is ending. Uh there's
no progress in technology. AI is going
to blow up the world, right? So, people
tend to overdo in both directions. Now,
what is the actual fertility problem,
right? Well, people are having less
kids. Are they having less kids because
there's a disease? Was there a virus?
Did they lose their fertility? The
microplastics in the testicles, right?
No, it's people are having less kids cuz
they're choosing to have less kids,
right? Women have gotten emancipation,
independence in the workforce, and
they're making more money. Um, people
don't need kids as insurance policies.
They have less kids. Maybe they're
living hedonistic lives. God bless them,
right? They want to have more fun. They
want to have less kids. I don't see the
act of choosing to have less kids as a
problem. Okay, so let's move one level
up. Uh it's because they're retirees.
It's because a large percentage of the
population is essentially retiring at
the guaranteed age of 65 or 70 thanks
social security. And so they need other
people to pay for it. They need more
workers in the workforce. And if the
workforce is shrinking, then you have a
small number of people Exactly. who are
supporting a large number of retirees.
And in democracies, you can't take
pensions away. The voters vote you out.
So they slowly strangle the economy. So
what do you do? Then you have a bunch of
immigration and then the whole culture
changes. You end up in a low trust
society and people start fighting over
limited resources and how do you control
which immigrants come in? How do you
make sure that they're good taxpayers
after they're in and so on. So you end
up with in in kind of this trap where
the low fertility rate is upstream of
the downstream problems that are
cultural and societal.
But I'm not sure that you're going to
solve that by making people have more
kids. How are you going to meme them
into having more kids? And I'm not even
sure it's necessarily a problem because
keep in mind you have more resources
now. You have less of a burden. Now
there's there's a flip side where every
kid is a lottery ticket and an
invention. So there's some benefit to
having more kids, but you can't you
can't force it. I think it'll work
itself out, right? The Scott Adams has
this great law which calls the Adams law
of slowmoving disasters. When disasters
are very slowm moving like peak oil or
global warming or population collapse
and everyone can kind of see them coming
economics and society as a force solve
them cuz enough individual people has
incentives to go solve them. So I don't
know exactly how it gets solved but I
think it could get solved in various
ways. Uh, one example could be, um, you
know, maybe people retire later. Maybe
AI and automation and robots take care
of the older people. Maybe we figure out
how to have immigrants while still
keeping a high trust society. We kind of
put more rules around immigration that
protects some of the high trust
benefits. Maybe we outsource more
things. Maybe we just, you know, have
more land and housing to go around.
Believe me, if we were having too many
kids, everybody be complaining about how
there's no housing and there's no land,
right? So, they'll always find something
to care about. So, I just don't view
this as like a thing that any individual
or government action is going to solve.
I think economics and incentives over
time will solve it. And I'm not even
convinced it's like that big of a
problem. Is there anything that you do
think is a it may be selfcorrecting too,
which is that if there are too few kids
in society and the returns to having
kids literally might just go up. It
might just be easier to have the
incentive to now have a child because
there's so few around, they're going to
get the best job. They're going to have
more resources. It's like everyone wants
this. Everyone's I suppose if you could
come at it from a pain side, which is
you look at all of the other people
around who don't have kids. Let's say
that um pensions completely drop off and
the only way that old people are able to
survive is if their children pay them
some sort of stipend like reverse, you
know, send send money back up the
generations. You go, okay, well, that's
a pretty [ __ ] good incentive. That's
a good incentive. I also think that
people have been me'd into thinking that
uh kids make your life worse. And that's
a that's a pretty pretty bad What's your
experience been? Uh, kids make your life
better in every possible way. If you
want, if you want an automatic built-in
meaning to life, have kids. Uh, and I
think there are these bad psych studies,
like most psych studies, unfortunately,
that say that people are unhappy when
they have kids. Yeah, it's because
you're catching in the middle of
changing a diaper and you're saying
like, "Are you glad you had kids or
not?" Or or they don't even say that.
They say, "Are you happy or not?" And
they say, "No, I'm not happy right now."
But what they don't realize is that
person has found something more
important than being happy in the
moment. They found meaning. And the
meaning comes from kids. And if you ask
parents, "Do you regret having kids?" I
think it would be 99 to1 against, you
know, it would be, "No, I don't regret
having kids. I love having kids. I'm so
glad I had kids." It's it's incredibly
rare to meet a parent that regretted
having children. It's pretty good odds.
It's It's extremely good odds. And I
think so. I think I think a lot of
people get late into life and uh you
know, then they can't admit that they
didn't want kids that that that they
should have had kids. It's kind of late
in the game. Um, but you know, a lot of
times you see everybody who has a pet,
right? Uh, and they're pushing them
around in a stroller, right? What is
that? That's a sublimated desire for
children. Yeah. Uh, Malcolm Collins says
that uh, having a pet is to children is
using porn is to sex. He basically
thinks that it's sort of a surrogate. It
It's definitely in that direction. And,
you know, I like pets. I like animals. I
don't but I don't like the idea of like
neutering or spaying something and then
keeping it as a prisoner in the house
and having to train it. You know, it's
just I don't want to be responsible for
that. Given that you've been thinking
more about child rearing kids, what do
you hope that your kids learn from their
childhood?
They should just be happy and do what
they want. I don't I don't I don't have
particular goals in mind for them. I
think that's a that's another route to
unhappiness having. That's different
though, right? Than learn versus goals.
It's not necessarily what do they want?
What what do you want them to want out
of life? Like what is it that you had
that idea around your number one job as
a parent is to provide unconditional
love to your kids. That's it. Yeah,
that's it. Right. So I can be loved or I
am loved unconditionally. Is that one of
the things? I want my kids to feel
unconditionally loved and I want them to
have high self-esteem.
Mhm. As a consequence of that. Mhm. But
I don't get to choose any All I get to
choose is my output. I can output love.
I can't choose what they feel. I can't
choose how they behave. I can't choose
what they want. I can't choose what they
turn out to be. And downstream from
that, there should be freedom. There
should be a degree of freedom that comes
from the self-esteem that comes from the
unconditionality. They should make their
own mistakes and learn their own lessons
and uh have their own desires and
fulfill them as is appropriate. Uh I
like any parent, I wouldn't want them to
be hurt. I wouldn't want them to be
unhappy. But I cannot control these
things. Uh you replied to my friend Rob
Henderson. was talking about um uh how
kids fall asleep more quickly when
they're being carried and uh you said
cry it out and co-sleeping is dangerous.
What's IYI science? IY is Nim TB. He
talk about intellectual yet idiot. These
are people who are overeducated and they
deny like basic common sense. Okay. Uh
so there's a lot of that that goes on in
child rearing uh thanks to really bad
studies uh and and bad public medical
directives. So, for example, you know,
uh a few uh a few parents you maybe
they're drunk or they're high or they're
just other issues and you know, they
roll over their kid when they're
sleeping, the kid suffocates or they
neglect their kid and then is that
co-sleeping having them in the bed.
Yeah. Exactly. Or or there, you know,
the the modern proclamation. And so,
because of that, they say, "Well, don't
co-sleep with your kids." Well, the kids
in every society through all of human
history co-slept with their parents.
Where else do you think they were
sleeping? They weren't houses of
multiple rooms. Yeah. Exactly. Put them
in the other tent. We'll put It's just
nonsense. Co-sleeping has been around
since the dawn of time. So has uh
feeding kids cow milk when or goat milk
when breast milk is runs out or is not
available. Um yet we're told formula,
you know, made with soy and and and corn
syrup, which was invented recently, is
somehow better than uh cow milk. And cow
milk can be dangerous for your kids and
co-sleeping is dangerous for your kids.
And cry it out is the right answer. All
of that is nonsense. I mean, it's very
clear that um we raise children
throughout human history without uh
these interventions. And and to me, the
idea that like you going to let your kid
cry it out, I get why that's done for
practical reasons so that you know you
can get some sleep and you can go to
work in the morning, but the reality is
when you let the kid cry it out, you're
letting the kid ball until it finally
gives up. I mean, the kid left by itself
to cry it out in the wild. It's going to
get it's going to get eaten, right? It's
going to get eaten by a tiger. Um, so
this kid is starting off on the wrong
foundation. The the one I mentioned
earlier about the idea that babies don't
feel pain. Like that's ludicrous, right?
Um, I've never heard that before. That's
such a wild
ideation on it, but it's so ludicrous
that I should probably do two or three
level confirmations on it before I talk
about it. Um, but there are definitely
some people who believe that there
enough that it was a thing. um in
certain circles for a while. But I think
we just go through these, you know, the
these IYI beliefs, these intellectual
beliefs come from people who uh take a
little bit of knowledge and extrapolate
it too far. They think we know more than
we know due to recent scientific studies
and these are junk science. These are
low power studies on uh you know on very
certain contexts that then get over
applied. Behavioral psych is very guilty
of this but it's true across a lot of
science. Um, so even with science, you
have to be skeptical. You have to look
very carefully at, you know, does it
apply in the right context or not? Is it
come from good sources? Did they run
enough high-powered studies widely
accepted? And there are a whole bunch of
things you're just not supposed to talk
about. You're not supposed to say like
you don't say like you you can you can't
say anything negative about vaccines
because god forbid what if they don't
get the polio vaccine, right? And that's
part of the reason why the recent
vaccine debate because we've taken our
worship for vaccines too far because we
don't want people to not take
non-essential vaccines. So it gets
overdone. The same way there's this
whole SIDS thing, sudden infant death
syndrome, right? It's like no, there's
kids don't suddenly mysteriously die.
Like more likely there was neglect or
there was a problem and then whoever was
a caretaker doesn't want to admit to the
problem or didn't recognize the problem,
but kids don't just spontaneously die in
the crib, right? Um, so they talk about
swaddling babies. You swaddle babies,
you know, basically tie them up, mummify
them. Uh, so you constrict them so they
die of SIDS where they roll over and
they can't get back. I mean, it's just
all this craziness around child raising.
It's a real minefield. It's a minefield.
And and and you know, you have these
scared parents or having a kid for the
first time and they open a book and they
start reading how to raise children when
I would argue that your natural
instincts on what to do with your child
uh are actually pretty good. It It's
funny when uh my wife and I had our
first baby. I remember, you know, at the
hospital, sorry, the first one was
natural birth um at the birthing center.
We we went home. I was like, "There you
go, that's it." And we're like, what do
we do? Where's the instruction manual?
You take them home and then you relax
and you realize
actually instincts are pretty good. You
know, if the kid cries, check to see if
they clean, feed them, all that. It's
like your your basic instincts are
actually very very good. And kids
instincts are actually very very good.
They know what they want and they want
things for a reason and they can
encourage you to give it to them. Yes.
It's usually it children are not
deficient adults who can't reason. Uh
and to some extent that's true but
mostly it's not true. Mostly they have
very good reasons for what they want and
you as a parent mostly have
communication problems with them. They
can't yet communicate to you. You can't
communicate to them. They can't
communicate to you. So early on with my
kids, I tried to focus on teaching them,
you know, basic explanatory theories as
opposed to having them memorize things.
That's just the most the most nal
solution. I'll give you I'll give you a
very simple example, right? Okay. So
this is Twitter and this is this is the
how to get rich without getting lucky
thread. So the first one well a simple
one is you know how does knowledge get
created? If you follow the critical
rationalism David Deutsch philosophy,
then it's by guessing and then by
testing your guesses. So whenever they
ask me something like, well, why do you
think that is? Well, how would we figure
out if that's true? Right? So that's a
basic game you can play involving them.
Involving them. But another one is that
a lot of the rules that you teach kids
have to do with hygiene, right? You must
brush your teeth, you know, cover your
mouth when you cough. Um, you know,
clean up after yourself. Don't touch
that. Wash your hands after you do this.
um don't eat food off the floor, right?
But all of these are subsumed under the
germ theory of disease, right? So if you
instead go on YouTube and show them
videos of germs or if you have them look
under a microscope at anything, they're
like, "Ah, they can infer what's going
Yeah, there's creepy crawies everywhere
and I got to watch out for them." Uh and
then, you know, you can talk about how
if you look at humans, like our real
enemy are pathogens. I think a lot of
aging and disease are actually
downstream of our competition with
pathogens over time. uh to a point that
people still don't fully appreciate. Um
there's a red queen hypothesis which is
that we undergo sexual selection to mix
up our genes. And so every 20 years,
every generation, mix up your genes. But
if you look at how bacteria and viruses
mutate through just random mutations,
their mixup rate on their genes and
evolution rate is roughly the same as
ours. Even though they go through
thousands of generations, those 20
years, because they're not doing sexual
selection, they're doing asexual
replication, mutation, their their
evolutionary rate is roughly equivalent
to ours. So, we're in a red queen race
where we're both running at roughly the
same speed using very different
strategies. But a lot of how we're
involved is around pathogens. Like our
immune system is one of the most
expensive things to run in the body as
so much is about immune system
optimization. That's about pathogens.
junk DNA in bacteria and crisper was
discovered because in bacteria their DNA
is evolved to fight viruses and the way
it does that is by taking viral DNA and
snipping it up every time there's a
viral attack and storing it in their own
DNA so they have a copy so they can
recognize it next time it attacks and
you know and so on. Um a lot of the
population structure of species uh
determines how long their lifespans are.
So very uh so if if in a given species
there's a very high rate of infection
then you'll have these older members of
the population are carrying diseases
that will then infect the young. So it's
important for that species to get rid of
the old faster. So the higher the
disease rate in a given population, the
less long live the entire population. So
the older ones don't infect the younger
ones. That's a hypothesis and I think
it's true. It's an interesting
hypothesis. um uh homeostasis within the
human body, how we're always returning
to a given level of things like that's a
that's a fundamental part of our makeup,
our temperature, pH, blood pressure, and
so on under homeostasis. But if you if
you engage in any kind of signaling like
you take a peptide for example, that's a
signaling molecule, you take a hormone
externally, the body will counteract it.
You take testosterone, the body will
counteract will downregulate its own
production very fast. Uh and the body
releases its own hormones in pulses
rather than steady state. Why is that?
Well, that's because uh bacteria and
viruses can infect your body and trick
your body. They can take it over. Like
toxoplasmosis does this, rabies does
this. They take over macroscopic
structure, structural bodies. And small
bacteria and viruses would hack our
bodies and literally take them over if
we didn't have defense mechanisms. And
one of those defense mechanisms is
homeostasis. Anytime you see something
getting out of whack, you immediately
push back really hard on it because
like, did I just get infected? Is
something trying to take me over? It's
also why hormones get released in pulses
at night rather than in steady state low
levels because uh enemy bacteria can
release toxins or the same signaling
molecules in small quantities but they
can't pulse. They can't coordinate to
pulse. So your body can coordinate to
pulse as a macroscopic object but
microscopic objects can't coordinate to
create the same pulses. Oh that's cool.
Yeah. So there's all I mean so you know
that it's coming from you. Is that why?
Correct. It's endogenous rather than
exogenous. So I never knew that. And
that's why we resist a lot of exogenous
treatments. A lot of our medical
treatments don't work. Um anyway, so
this these are there's there's a bunch
more I could go on, but I think that uh
a lot of uh you know, you see this in
cancers where uh a lot of uh bacteria
show up like the Epstein bar virus shows
up in a lot of cancers and um you know,
now it seems like the gut microbiome
influences so many things. Basically uh
bacteria and viruses are at the top of
the food chain compared to us. Like we
are top of the well-known food chain,
but bacteria and viruses eat us. Fungus
eats us. So these microscopic predators
are our natural predators. And so a lot
of aging, societal structure, hygiene,
religious strictctures against pork, you
know, circumcision, all of these things.
These are all designed to resist
bacteria and viruses. So if you can
teach children this philosophy at an
early age, you shortcut all the debates.
How effective have you been at teaching
that philosophy to children? That one, I
think I've been pretty effective. I've
drilled that one at home. The one I
haven't quite gotten around to yet is
evolution. Like I'm starting to do
little bits of that, you know, like we
came from monkeys. What does that mean?
Um already got them thinking about some
of the deeper questions. I did ask my
you know young son like uh you know, can
nothing exist? I thought that was a fun
question. So I like to throw a fun like
three. No, no, he's he's eight. Oh,
right. An 8-year-old and a six-year-old.
So I asked them both like can nothing
exist and they had pretty good answers,
right? Um, another one we played with
the other day was like, "What is the
matrix?" Okay. Uh, you know, what is
what is this? What is all this? Um, I
just find it and it's entertaining. It's
just fun to talk about, right? To talk
about these questions with your kids.
I'm not saying that one is a good way of
child raising. It's not leading to any
deeper learning other than maybe just
have them start uh or continue to
question the basic structure of reality
and not move past it so quickly. also to
take joy. You know what's the meta
lesson that's being taught there?
Dad dad spends time asking questions to
which there are not necessarily an
answer because there is something
enjoyable in the process of learning and
trying to decipher what's happening
possibly. Also, dad tries not too hard
to teach people things. I don't want to
be I don't want to be didactic. He helps
them to arrive at it. Yeah. Correct.
Correct. Dad Dad is here to help you
solve problems when you have problems
and you constantly have problems. So if
you come to dad, dad can help explain to
you how he would solve the problem. But
most of the time they don't want that.
Most of the time they just want most of
the time they just want me to solve the
problem, right? So sometimes they have
to play it dumb. It's like why is my
Wi-Fi not working on my computer? I'm
like I don't know. Did you click on that
thing? Look, you've got like a
rebellious sovereign child. Sovereign as
they may be, but sometimes they still
need the the dad to step in. So in
addition to feeling loved and having
high self-esteem, I think the most
important trait that would be nice to
not rob them of is agency. I want them
to preserve their agency. They're born
naturally agentic and willful, but a lot
of child raising can beat that out of
them by essentially domesticating them.
That's right. And I would rather have
wild animals and wolves than have
well-trained dogs because I'm not going
to be around to take care of them. Yeah.
So, they're going to have to be able to
look after themselves. Exactly. Yeah. A
friend of mine, uh, Parsa on, uh, on Air
Chat, uh, he had a great saying. He
said, uh, he wants his, uh, children to
be quick to learn and hard to kill.
[Laughter]
That was pretty good. Yeah, that was
cool. I remember you saying just
thinking about sort of future and
culture and stuff like that. I remember
you saying that the left had won the
culture war and now they're just driving
around shooting the survivors. Right.
After the last 6 months of change that
we've seen and sort of where we're at at
the moment, what do you think the future
of the culture war looks like? It's not
over yet. Um, they definitely won
earlier rounds. They took over
institutions. I think now it's much more
of a fair fight. Um where you have
people like Elon, you know, kind of
supporting uh so so there there's these
different forces through history, right?
Historians will argue about this. Uh but
there's a theory of the great man of
history thing where it's like, oh, you
have the Einsteins, you have the Teslas,
you have the um the Jangaskhans and the
Caesars, right? They determine the flow
of history. And then there's the other
uh point of view that no there are these
massive forces at play you know
demographics and geography and so on and
then the particular great man doesn't
matter they just come and go Napoleon
doesn't matter they would have been
somebody else uh the specific names are
not important and because of kind of the
leftist turn that our institutions took
in the last few uh decades they now only
subscribe to the great forces theory of
history not the great man theory of
history but I think now we're seeing the
two play out where you're seeing you
know Trump and Elon and other
individuals is rising up and saying no,
we resist. Yeah, that's interesting. And
um I think that unfortunately and so the
battle between kind of these these these
collectivists and great forces versus
individuals, it's as old as humanity
itself. And and it is fundamental to the
species. We are not a completely
individualistic species. You know, no
man is an island. A single person can't
do anything by themselves. But we're
also not a Borg. We're not a beehive.
We're not an ant colony. We're not all
just drones marching along. So, which is
it? We we're somewhere in the middle.
And the human race is always kind of
bouncing between the two. We like strong
leaders. We like to be led. Um we like
to coordinate our forces and and and
mass and and do things. Uh but at the
same time, we're also all individuals
and willing to break away and willing to
do our own thing and everyone's always
fighting to be a leader and there's
always status games going on. So, u
we're there's a pendulum that's always
swinging back and forth. And in modern
economics, the way that manifests is
between sort of Marxism and capitalism,
right? Marxism is like from each
according to his ability to each
according to his needs. We're all equal.
There's a millennial project. We're all
going to be equal in the end. And and
you know, don't try and stand out, but
do what's good for everybody. Um, and
there's a religious aspect to it. And
then the the capitalist individualist is
like libertarian. Every man for himself.
You just each do what you want and it'll
work out for the greater good. That's
Adam Smith. You know, the invisible hand
of the market will feed you. the baker
should bake and the butcher should
butcher and the candlestick maker should
make candlesticks and it'll all work
out. Each person does their best and
they trade and so which is it which
which which theory is correct and I
think there's always going to be a
battle between the two
and I
think the interesting thing is what's
going on there's a modern flavor to it
which changes it. The modern flavor is
that the individual is getting more
powerful because they're becoming more
leverage. So someone like an Elon Musk
can have the leverage of tens of
thousands of brilliant engineers and
producers working for him. He can have
factories of robots manufacturing
things. He can have hundreds of billions
of dollars of capital behind him. And he
can project himself through media to
hundreds of millions of people. That is
more power than any individual could
have had historically. So the great men
of history are becoming greater. That
said, that same leverage is increasing
the gap between the halves and have
nots. So in the wealth game, more people
are winning overall and the average is
going up. But in the status game, there
are essentially more losers. There are
more invisible men and women who are
getting nothing out of life and have no
leverage. Relatively speaking,
objectively speaking, they might be
better off. They still have phones and
they still have TVs and they're not
absolutist creatures though. We're
relative creatures. Correct. And so to
the extent that we're relatives
creatures, there are more losers than
winners. And in a democracy, those
people will outnumber the winners and
they will vote the winners down. Yep.
Um, and so that's the battle that kind
of goes on and the democracy has gotten
very broad. And so one of my other quips
is that um it's not the right to vote
that gives you power. It's power that
gives you the right to vote. So we've
confused the two. So what happened was,
you know, voting started as a way for
people who had power to divide up the
power, not fight amongst themselves. the
winners of the revolution, the winners
of the war, the people in the House of
Lords and the House of Commons, they
divide up power amongst themselves. They
say, "Hey, we have all the money. We
have the power. We are the knights. We
have the swords. We have the warriors.
We could kill everybody, but we don't
want to just fight each other all day
long. We don't have to be Game of
Thrones forever. So, we're going to
divide up power by voting among
ourselves." But then, as society goes on
and becomes more and more peaceful, that
franchise for voting gets spread. They
get spread to people who don't have
land, who don't have power, who may not
be able to inflict physical violence.
And then eventually you get to the point
where everybody's voting. Everybody's
voting and everybody's voting for candy
and fairies and you know all the free
things in life. Uh and then eventually
people start voting to oppress each
other. The 51% in in any domain vote to
oppress the 49s, the tyranny, the
majority. But not all of them are
willing to back that up with physical
power. And so you can end up in a
situation where people who don't have
physical power are using the
institutions of the state to control the
people who do have physical power. As a
simple example, taking the United
States, the people who don't have guns
voting to disarm the people that do have
guns, right? Well, if the people who do
have guns get coordinated and care
enough, you can't do that, right? So I
think eventually these societal
structures are unstable. They break
down. And they break down because
eventually the people who have the power
and say, "No, wait a minute. You don't
get to vote. you you only got to vote
because you had power and now you don't
have power and you're somehow trying to
vote. All of nature, all of society, all
of capitalism, all of human endeavors
are underpinned by physical violence.
And that is very hard truth to swallow
and hard to get away from. Nature is red
in tooth and claw. If you don't fight,
you don't survive. You don't live, you
die. And that's true of everything alive
today. And humans are no different. So
giving up physical power and then
thinking you can exercise political
power fails. Which is why every
communist revolution which is all about
equality and kumbaya and brothers and
sisters end up being run by a bunch of
thugs. Because if you don't have a way
to divide up the wealth based on merit,
then it's always going to be based on
power and influence. The thugs with the
guns always win in the end. So the
question is just can you keep the thugs
and the with the guns paid and happy and
successful society where you're
allocating based on merit because if you
can't then you're going to do it based
on power. So, I do think that this
battle is not over, but that's because
it it never stopped. It's always been
there from day one. It will continue. Is
it a battle to not care about the news
in an age of news saturation? All of
this stuff, headlines 24 hours a day,
streamed directly into your
consciousness through a device in your
pocket. You know, a lot of what we've
spoken about today is freedom. Freedom
from having to think about things or
care about things that you do not have
control over or that you shouldn't or
that you don't want to. And yet people
are just like submerged up to the bottom
of their nostrils basically drowning in
worry. So how yeah is it is it a battle
to sort of stay out of the news when
you're saturated in it? Yeah. I mean as
you're saying the human brain has not
evolved to handle all the world's
emergencies breaking in real time and
you can't care about everything and
you'll go insane if you try. Um doesn't
mean you shouldn't care at all. There's
no should. I mean if you want to care go
ahead and care. I would just say that
you're probably better off only caring
about things that are local or things
that you can affect. So, if you really
care about something that's in the news,
then by all means care about it, but
make a difference. Go do something about
it. Uh, and make sure that it's your
overwhelming desire and you don't have
five other desires at the same time. Um,
also just realize the consequences of
it. You're going to be unhappy until
that thing gets fixed. And that thing
will often be out of your control.
Desire is a contract to be unhappy until
you get what you want. But exactly for
the most part that's something that is
in your life. It's like till I lose the
weight, until I get the job outside too.
Yeah. If it's until the carbon dioxide
parts per million are below this
particular number, it's like that's a
that's a tough one. Or all the people
with Trump arrangement syndrome, right?
He's living rentree in their heads and
driving them insane. And I get it. I
mean, there are politicians who have
definitely driven me insane as well. Um
but it comes at a very high cost and
it's something that is out of your
control that you cannot really
influence. Um, so it's probably good to
at least be conscious of it. You
mentioned u historians before. One of my
friends has a a question, his equivalent
of uh Peter Tilliel's question of uh
what is it that you believe that most
people would disagree with? His is what
do you think is currently ignored by the
media but will be studied by historians?
You're asking me that question right
now. What do I think is ignored by the
media but will be studied by historians?
Well I
mean the media is only focused
on very timely things, right? So, it
depends if you want to talk about timely
or timeless, right? But as a as a simple
example, if I just look at things that
maybe the next 5 or 10 years that are
going to make a massive difference that
people are not focused enough
on. Um, and I think within two years
this will be obvious. So, like the I
make a prediction and predictions are
tough, but you're going to have to eat
it in a few years. Yeah, I'm going have
to eat this in a few years. So, I'm
probably wrong, but uh two things that I
pay attention to um that I don't think
uh a lot of people do pay attention to.
Well, there's a couple. One is I think
just how bad modern medicine is. I think
people just put a lot more faith in
modern medicine than is warranted. Like
our best ideas for a lot of things are
surgery, just cutting things out, right?
Uh treating things that are extraneous,
like, oh, you don't really need a
gallbladder. you don't really need an
appendix or you don't really need
tonsils. All that's false
every human body is very very efficient.
All those things are needed. Um you know
so I think I think the state of modern
medicine is still pretty bad. We don't
have many good explanatory theories in
biology. Um we have germ theory disease
we have um evolution we have uh cell
theory we have DNA genetics um
morphogenesis embryogenesis and not much
else. You know there's not much else.
Everything else is rules of thumb
memorization. A affects B because
affects C affects D but we don't
understand the underlying explanation.
It's all just words pointing to words
pointing to words. So biology is still
in a very sorry state and because we are
not allowed to take risk that might kill
people. Um we just don't experiment
enough in biology. So a lot of
treatments are just outright banned by
large regulatory bodies. So we just
don't have the innovation. So I think
we're still in the stone age when it
comes to biology and we got a long ways
to go. Uh, and I think people will look
back a gasast at this. And I think this
is Brian Johnson's point. He's like, you
know, let's be more more extreme. Let's
try to live forever. Let's be more
experimental. And I'll start as end of
one and start experimenting on myself.
And um, but even there, I disagree with
Brian in many things like, you know,
taking huge amounts of supplements. I
think we just don't know supplements
outside of their natural context, like
just eat liver, man, right? Um, but
that's fine. And and I wouldn't be vegan
either, but you know, it's it's I I
really appreciate that he's
experimenting. he's good naturatured
about he shares everything. So we need
more people like that. Um so I think the
state of biology people will look back
and say wow that was in the dark ages.
Um I think uh another uh another thing
that we'll look back on is I think we we
still continue to underestimate how
important drones are going to be in
warfare. The future of all warfare is
drones. There will be nothing else on
the battlefield. Um because I think of
the end state of drones as autonomous
bullets. Not even guided autonomous like
they're self-directed. Uh, and so if
that's the future we're headed towards,
and that's a is why would you have an
armed force that's there's gonna be no
there's there's gonna be no aircraft
carriers, there's going to be no tanks,
there's going to be no infantry men,
there's just going to be autonomous
bullets. By autonomous bullets against
your autonomous bullets, whichever ones
win, the other side just surrenders cuz
it's over. Um, I think that's the second
piece of it. I think a a a third piece
that is going to be uh kind of
unexpected is the GLP1s, which I know
you and I have privately discussed
before. I think these are the most
breakthrough drugs since antibiotics.
Um, they're probably more important than
statins. They're sort of miracle drugs.
They seem to the there there are
downsides, but the downsides and side
effects are so minor compared to the
upsides beyond just weight loss. Um,
they also seem to be addiction breakers.
They seem to lower many kinds of cancer.
They almost metabolically reverse aging
up to a certain point. Um, and I think
they're going to bend the curve on
health care costs. And uh the big
question people are going to be asking
over the next 5 years is why are
Americans paying thousands of dollars a
month for this when people overseas are
getting them for free or I can order
them from China for free or whatever. Um
and maybe it like if I were Bernie
Sanders, the platform I would be running
on is I would say, okay, we're going to
pay, you know, hundreds of billions of
dollars to Novo and Eli Liy and we're
just going to make these free. Or
there's hundreds of analoges of these
things that work. These are not going to
be, you know, limited to just the few
that are that are being used today. Just
take one of them or two of them and make
them free. And I think it'll make a big
difference. And uh as you and I were
discussing earlier, uh this does bend a
lot of people out of shape who got there
the oldfashioned way and they want to
see obesity as a moral failing on
people's parts and it lowers their
status if they are suddenly signal is
less of a signal. Yeah. Correct. Yeah.
So, so they're incented to say, "Oh,
well, you don't know the downsides. you
know, it's irresponsible to suggest it's
going to cause cancer. Have fun losing
bone and muscle mass. But none of that
stuff is really true. The cancer stuff
is actually beneficial on I know people
who are now taking these things for
anti-aging reasons. Um they're already
fit, but they just want to age better
and have a stronger insulin metabolism.
Um and there's evidence now these things
are, you know, they put off dementia,
Alzheimer's, colon cancer. It's insane.
Cardiovascular disease, like the the
list of benefits is insane. There's no
free lunch.
But this is a class of drugs that
prevents you from taking other drugs
into your body. It prevents you from
taking uh you know too much sugar, too
many calories in an era of abundance,
prevents you from smoking, prevents you
from even uh there's an organization
called Casper that is now doing a study
on heroin addictions and they're showing
that this can lower opioid overdoses and
heroin addiction. So there's a lot of
overwhelming medical evidence coming out
and I think I don't I don't know the
exact number but I think something like
10% of the population might now have
tried these things. I think that's the
number that it's massive. I think it's
about 50% of the population say that
they would like to try it. Exactly. So
uh I think the body positivity movement
is dead and we always kind of knew it
was a scam. I mean it's dying very very
quickly. Yeah. Equipped like you can
never be too rich, too thin or too
clean, right? And immediately like a
whole bunch of people went nonlinear my
mention like what do you mean too thin
and what about the hygiene hypothesis
and you know obviously there's always
exceptions but people want to be thin
and fit and people want to be clean back
to the pathogen discussion that we had.
Um so I think overall that there's going
to be huge demand for these things and
our modern medical system is not built
to supply these. Well, I'm not I'm not I
don't hold it against the pharma. I
think the farmers did their job by
creating the thing, but I think next we
need to step up and figure out how to
make it broadly and cheaply available as
opposed to just milk it for only for,
you know, people on obesity who can get
Medicare to sign off for it or people
paying out of pocket at very very high
prices. Yeah. Um the the benefits of
societal distribution of the safer GLP
ones is so large that whichever
politicians uh tackles that is going to
be richly rewarded. Well, obesity is the
number one source of malnutrition
worldwide. There's twice as many people
that are obese than are starving. So
about half a billion people are starving
in a billion so many problems are
downstream of that. Like you know look
at how much of the federal budget goes
into diialysis because of kidney
failure. And why is that? It's because
of diabetes, right? So so many of the
problems that we have in modern society
are downstream of obesity. And you know
this like fitness is so important. Uh
and yes there's in some people these
things call mus cause muscle and bone
loss but not in the people who are
eating high protein and working out
hard. So it they can be taken in a way
that's safer and some versions of these
like laglutai the original one. They've
been around for decades and the others
have been around for about a decade. So
and we already have as you said 10% of
the population taking them. So they're
already quite widely distributed. A good
sample size though. Yeah it's a great
sample size. What more do you need? Like
if if you if you have a bacterial
infection that's eating you, I don't
say, "Oh, I have this antibiotic, but
it's going to raise your blood
pressure." It's like, "No, take the
antibiotic." If you're going to kill
yourself, I say, "Take this
antisycchotic and stay alive a little
longer and solve it." I don't say, "Oh,
it's going to, you know, cause your
heart rate to go up by three beats a
minute. I don't worry about that." So
similarly, if you're poisoning yourself
with toxins and overuse of substances
that you shouldn't be using, either
heroin alcohol cigarettes sugar or
just sheer calories, um, take this GLP1.
Uh, they also improve digestion. You
just have less cal, just less food
matter going through your stomach. They
lower cancer risks across the board.
There's quite a few cancers that lower.
Um, cardiovasc I mean, I don't know what
else to tell you. I've been very
surprised by the negative reception
whenever you have a conversation about
GLP1s and I think a lot of it may be
people who and and well think about how
many sacred cows are being gored right
all the people who are basically saying
uh you should work harder you should be
fit like I did right it's lowering their
status think about all the nutritionists
and doctors and trainers who are now
being you know it's too easy they're
being put out of business in a way right
uh it's kind of like why does the
American military keep buying aircraft
carriers, right? In the age of drones.
Um there's an incentive bias. There's a
very strong motivated reasoning. Uh but
it doesn't matter. 10% people are on it.
Uh everybody wants to be fit. It's going
to spread like wildfire. M we I was just
thinking as you were talking that you
know when we think about health and a
lot of people kind of get captured by
the way that they were brought up the
the the habits that they had from their
childhood or what mom and dad did or
genetic predisposition and stuff like
that. I think um you have as many
reasons as as many people to sort of
feel hard done by by challenges that you
had earlier on in in your life. Is
getting past your past a skill? Sort of
not being owned today by your history.
Sort of not having that victimhood
mentality. Yeah, I I did have a uh tough
childhood, but I don't think about it.
You know, I I think there are a couple
of things going on there. One is I did
process it quite a bit. I thought about
it, but I thought about it to get rid of
it. I didn't think about it to dwell on
it or to like Yeah. I wanted to be
successful. I wanted more than anything
else to rise past that. And so I
couldn't have that as a burden on me. So
I had to get rid of it. So to the extent
that I dealt with it, it was to it was
for the express purpose of getting rid
of it, not to create an identity or
story or to reflect upon it or to say
look at me, look at what I've
accomplished and look how great I am and
what I've done. So I got rid of it. And
I think at some point you you wrestle
with that thing and then you just
realize like you're never going to
untangle the whole thing. It's a Gordian
knot problem. uh like Alexander you know
found that tangled knot in India and uh
they said oh the famous conqueror will
come and we'll untie this knot nobody
else can untie the knot and he took one
look at it pulled out a sword and just
cut it so at some point you just have to
cut your past if your past is bothering
you you will eventually get tired of
trying to untangle that knot and you
will just drop it because you will
realize life is short and the more you
have more you want to accomplish in this
life actually the less time you have to
unravel that thing so I just wanted to
actually get things done so I had no
time to deal with it. So, I just cut it.
It's like a really bad relationship, but
in this case, it's a bad relationship
with your own history, so you just drop
it. Yeah. I think, you know, so much of
what we've spoken about today is on the
shortness of life and uh the fact that
every moment is precious. You had to
take about um that the most fundamental
resource in your life is not time, it's
attention. That's right. I used to
think, you know, the currency of life,
right? People think it's money and yes,
money is important and it does let you
trade certain things for time, but it
doesn't really buy you time. Ask Warren
Buffett how much time money can buy you
or Michael Bloomberg. They're, you know,
rich as Scrooge and and Chris, but they
can't buy more time, right? Brian
Johnson, notwithstanding. Um, so you
can't trade money for time. Money is not
the real currency of life.
And time itself doesn't even mean that
much because as we talked about before,
a lot of time can be wasted because
you're not really present for it. You're
not paying attention. So the real
currency of life is attention. It's what
you choose to pay attention to and and
and what you do about it. And so back to
the point about the news media, you can
put your attention on the news, but
that's how you're spending the real
currency of life. So just be aware of
that. If you want to, that's fine.
There's no there's no right or wrong
here. Like maybe it is your destiny to
pick something in the news, learn about
that problem, adopt that problem, and
solve it. But just be careful because
your attention is the only thing that
you have and that can also be captured
by your own past. It Yes. You can
fritter it away on anything you like. Is
there an advantage to starting out as a
loser? Uh absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
Because if you're because if you're a
loser, then you'll want to be a winner
and then you'll develop all the
characteristics that will help you be a,
you know, quote unquote winner in life.
That said, I wouldn't sentence my kids
to it. Like I don't think you can
artificially do that. You know, it's
it's sort of like imagine that you were,
you know, 300 years ago, you're born a
surf and then somehow you managed to
escape off the farm and you become a
land owner and then eventually you
become minor nobility and aristocrat.
Are you going to put your kids back on
the farm and say you're going to be a
surf again? I know they all like those
stories. the the kids themselves like
those stories because it says I came
from the school of hard knocks. My dad
made me go shovel hay for a summer. It's
not real. I mean, you're not going to
trick them. Um, I think what you can all
you can do is kind of uh cultivate an
appreciation and gratitude for what you
have. And the only way to do that is
just evidence it yourself, right? Just
show yourself how you spend money, how
you respect it, what you do with it, how
you take care of people, who you're
responsible for. and and and the more
resources you have, the greater the
tribe you can take care of. The more of
the tribe you can take care of. So when
you have no resources, you're struggling
to take care of yourself. And at that
point, it's good to be selfish cuz you
can't save somebody else if you can't
even save yourself. Yes. So you take
care of yourself and you become the best
version of yourself. But there are too
many men who are able, fit, and have
some money who are doing nothing with
their lives. They're just sitting at
home doing nothing, just indulging in
themselves. Maybe they go on dates and
they get door dashed. Like I have no
respect for that. I think there's
nothing worse in society than a lazy man
because he's sort of he's sort of
leaving it all on the table. He's
leaving his potential on the table. It's
bad for him. So the next thing you do is
you go and you have a family and you
take care of your family. Take care of
that tribe. Then you take care of your
extended family. You take care of your
cousins brothers uncles grandmothers
aunts, you know, sisters, everybody that
you can. And then if you have more
resources beyond that, then you go take
care of your local tribe. You take care
of your people. Um you start trying to
do some good for the world. And if you
have more resource than that, you go
take care of an even bigger tribe. And
that's how you earn both respect and
self-confidence and you live up to your
potential. So the the more you have, the
more is rightfully expected of you. And
I think it's a good compact with society
when highly capable people express and
flex that capability by giving more and
more and by doing more and more. And
society rewards them with the one thing
they can't get otherwise which is
status. Right? So society should give
you status in exchange for it. Um, they
should say, "Okay, you did a good job.
You took care of more people than than
just yourself and just the people
immediately around you." Uh, and that's
what an alpha male to me is. An alpha
male is not the one who gets to eat
first. The alpha male eats last. The
alpha male feeds everybody else first
and then gets to eat last. And they do
that out of their own self-respect and
pride. And society rewards them by
calling them an alpha and giving them
status. I wonder whether some of the
push back that we've got against uh
rich, wealthy, powerful people is
disincentivizing. Uh it is like who was
it? Zuck who you know donated money at
Zuckerberg General's hospital and they
wanted to pull his name off of it. I
mean that's I didn't see that but that's
that kind of stuff backfires right you
you should reward people for doing what
were you saying before you don't just
need to in fact actually actively avoid
castigating people if you want their
behavior to change when they get
something wrong. Look at reinforcing it
when they get something right. It's
happening at a a societal level as well.
Correct. I mean, like the the guys who
make a lot of money and go out and buy
sports teams, I wouldn't do that, right?
But the one who goes out and builds a
hospital or builds a rocket to take
people to the moon, uh, you know, rescue
some astronauts, you should be rewarding
him for that. Mhm. Nal, I really
appreciate you. Uh, I hope that this has
lived up to whatever weird daydreams
you've been having.
Um, what have you got coming up? What
can people expect from you over the next
however long? Expect
nothing. That's the most nal way that we
could have finished this, dude. It's uh
it's been a long time coming and I I
really do appreciate you for being here
today. But I do hope to deliver
something. Oh, I think you have. So,
thank you. Thanks for having me. Thank
you, too. Thanks for getting in my mind.
And hopefully now you're out. We'll see.
I might be even worse now. You've got
the real memories to stick. I don't
know. The reason to win the game is to
be free of it. The reason The reason is
to be is to be done with it.
All right. Wow. You made it to the end.
Congratulations. Well, if you enjoyed
that, you're going to love my fulllength
conversation with the one and only
Alander Boton from the School of Life
right
here. Go on, press it.
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