44 Harsh Truths About The Game Of Life - Naval Ravikant (4K)
By Chris Williamson
Summary
## Key takeaways - **Happiness is not wanting things to be different**: Happiness is being satisfied with what you have, not needing anything to change, and not feeling like anything is missing in the present moment. This is contrasted with pleasure, which can override happiness and create an illusion of it. [00:00], [01:06:06] - **Embrace serendipity over rigid schedules**: Life's natural order is freedom, and overscheduled lives are not worth living. By embracing spontaneity and acting on inspiration immediately, you can increase productivity and find more joy. [36:30], [41:10] - **Authenticity escapes competition**: The less you want something, the less you obsess over it, and the more you do it naturally for yourself. This leads to outcompeting others because you're doing it effortlessly and for fun, not for external validation. [44:24], [45:45] - **Pride is the most expensive trait**: Pride prevents learning and adaptation by making you feel like you already have the answers. It traps you in local maxima and forces you to stick with suboptimal choices, costing you time, success, and potential growth. [29:46], [30:43] - **Focus on what truly matters**: With limited time, it's crucial to be selective about your desires and focus on what truly matters. Avoid frittering away your life on randomly scheduled things, tedious obligations, or people you don't want to engage with. [07:48], [40:28] - **You can't change others, but you can change yourself**: People rarely change in relationships, and never when told to. Instead of trying to change others, focus on changing your reaction to them or improving yourself, as your own growth is the only thing you can control. [01:32:36], [01:34:31]
Topics Covered
- Suffering is optional, not a requirement for success.
- Play wealth creation games, not zero-sum status games.
- Self-esteem is the reputation you have with yourself.
- Being happier can actually make you more successful.
- Inspiration is perishable, so act on it immediately.
Full Transcript
Happiness is being satisfied with what
you have. Success comes from
dissatisfaction. Is success worth it
then? Oof. I'm not sure that statement
is true anymore. Like I made that
statement a long time ago and a lot of
these things are just notes to myself
and they're highly contextual. They come
in the moment, they leave in the
moment. Happiness. Okay. So very
complicated topic but I always like the
Socrates story where he goes into the
marketplace and they show him all these
luxuries and fineries and he says how
many things there are in this world that
I do not want right and that's a form of
freedom so not wanting something is as
good as having it in the old story with
Alexander Dionius right Alexander goes
out and conquers the world and he meets
Dionius who's living in a barrel and
Dionius says get out of the way you're
blocking my son and Alexander says oh
how I wish I you know could be like
Dionius the next life and dianis says
that's the difference I don't wish that
I could sorry Dioynes Dioynes Dioynes
says I I I don't wish to be Alexander so
two paths to happiness and uh one path
is success you get what you want you
satisfy your material needs or like
Dioynes you just don't want in the first
place and I'm not sure which one is more
valid
um and it also depends what you define
as success if the end goal is happiness
then why not cut to the chase and just
go straight for
uh does being happy make you less
successful? That is a conventional
wisdom. That may even be the practical
earned experience of your reality. You
find that when you're happy, you don't
want anything. So, you don't get up and
do anything. On the other hand, you
know, you still got to do something.
You're an animal. You're here. You're
here to survive. You're here to
replicate. You're driven. You're
motivated. You're going to do something.
You're not just going to sit there all
day. Unlikely. Some people do. Maybe
it's in their nature. But I think most
people still want to act. they want to
live in the arena. Uh I found for myself
as I've become uh happier is a big word
but you know, more peaceful, more calm
more present, more uh satisfied with
what I have, uh I still want to do
things. I just want to do bigger things.
I want to do things that are more pure
more aligned with uh what I think needs
to be done and what I can uniquely do.
So in that sense, I think that being
happier can actually make you more
successful, but your definition of
success will likely change along the
way. Is that a realization you think you
could have gotten to had you have not
had some success in the first place?
At least for me, I always wanted to take
the path of material success first. I
was not going to go be an aesthetic and
sit there and renounce everything. That
just seems too unrealistic and too
painful. Uh, in the story of Buddha, he
starts out as a prince and then he sees
that it's all kind of meaningless
because you're still going to get old
and die and then he goes into the woods
looking for something
more. I'll take the happy route that
involves material success. Thank you. I
think it's quicker in some ways. You
know, one of your uh insights is it's
far easier to achieve our material
desires than it is to renounce them. And
uh it depends on the person, but I I
think you have to try that path. If you
want something, go get it. Uh, you know
like I I I quipped that the reason to
win the game is to be free of it. So
you you play the games, you win the
games, and then you get hopefully you
get bored of the games. You don't want
to just keep looping on the same game
over and over. Although a lot of these
games are very enticing and have many
levels and are relatively open-ended.
Uh, and then you become free of the game
uh in a sense that you're no longer
trying to win it. You know, you can win
it. Uh, and either you move to a
different game or you play the game for
the sheer joy of it. Yeah. You, another
one of yours, most of the gains in life
come from suffering in the short term so
you can get paid in the long term. I
think that's classic. Winning the
marshmallow test on a daily basis. But
uh, there's an interesting challenge
where I think people need to avoid
becoming uh, a suffering addict. Sort of
using suffering as the proxy for
progress as opposed to the outcome of
the suffering. Right? It's like I was in
pain not eating the marshmallow. I was
in pain doing this work. I have attached
well-being and satisfaction to pain, not
to what the pain gets me on the other
side of it. If you define pain as
physical pain, then it's a real thing.
It happens and you can't ignore it. But
that's not what we mean by suffering.
Suffering is mostly mental anguish and
mental pain. And it just means you don't
want to do the task at hand. Uh if you
were fine doing the task at hand, then
you wouldn't be suffering. And then the
question is what's more effective to
suffer along the way or just to
interpret it in a way that it's not
suffering? You hear from a lot of
successful people they look back and
they say oh the journey was the fun part
right that was actually the entertaining
part and I should have enjoyed it more.
It's a common regret. Uh there's a
little thought exercise I like to do
which is you can go back into your own
life and uh try to put yourself in the
exact position you were in 5 years ago
10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago
and you try to remember okay who was I
with what was I doing? What was I
feeling? What were my emotions? What
were my objectives? And really really
try to transport yourself back and see
if there's any advice you'd give
yourself. Anything you do differently.
Now you don't have new information. And
don't pretend you could have gone back
and, you know, bought a stock or bought
bought Bitcoin or whatever, but just
knowing what you know now in terms of
your temperament and a little bit of age
related
experience, how would you have done
things differently? And I think it's a
worthwhile exercise to do. So don't let
me rob you of the conclusion, but I'll
tell you for me
uh I would have done everything the same
except I would have done it with less
anger, less emotion, less internal
suffering because that was optional. It
wasn't necessary. And I would argue that
someone who can do the job uh at least
peacefully but maybe happily is going to
be more effective than someone who has
unnecessary emotional turmoil. Well, you
end up with a series of miserable
successes, right? The outcome may have
been the same, but the entire experience
of getting there and and the journey is
not only the reward. The journey is the
only thing there is. You know, even
success, it's human nature to bank it
very very quickly, right? Because the
normal loop that we run through is you
sit around, you're bored, then you want
something, then when you want something
you decide you're not going to be happy
until you get that thing. Then you start
your bout of suffering or anticipation
while you strive to get that thing. If
you get that thing, then you get used to
it and then you get bored again. Then a
few months later, you want something
else. And if you don't get it, then
you're unhappy for a bit and then you
get over it and then you want something
else. Right? That's the normal cycle. So
whether you're happy or unhappy at the
end, it tends not to last. Now I don't
want to be glib and say that oh there's
no point in making money or being
successful. There absolutely is. Money
solves all your money problems. So it is
good to have money. Um that said there
are those uh those stories. I I don't
know if you've seen those studies. I
don't know how real these are. A lot of
these psych studies don't replicate, but
it's a fun fun little study that shows
that uh people who break their back and
people who win the lottery are back to
their baseline happiness two years
later. Yep. Again, I don't know if
that's entirely true. I think money can
buy you happiness if you earned it
because then along the way you have both
pride and confidence in yourself and you
have a sense of accomplishment and you
you know set out to do something and you
were right. So I I'll bet that lingers
and then as I said money solves your
money problem. So I don't want to be too
glib about it but I would say in general
this this loop that we run through um of
desire dopamine fulfillment
unfulfillment like you you have to enjoy
the journey. The journey is all there
is, right? 99% of your time is spent on
the journey. So, what kind of a journey
is it if you're not going to enjoy it?
How do you shortcut that desire
contract?
You could focus, you could decide that I
don't want most things. I think we have
a lot of unnecessary desires that we
just pick up everywhere. We have
opinions on everything, judgments and
everything. Uh so, I think just knowing
that those are the source of unhappiness
uh will make you be choosy about your
desires. And frankly, if you want to be
successful, you have to be choosy about
your desires. You have to focus. You
can't be great at everything. You can't
be great at everything. You're just
going to waste your energy and waste
your time. Is fame a worthwhile goal?
Uh, it gets you invited to better
parties, gets you into better
restaurants. Uh, fame. So, fa fame is
this funny thing where a lot of people
know you, but you don't know them. And
uh, it does get you put on a pedestal.
Uh, it can get you what you want, uh, at
a at a distance. So, I wouldn't say it's
worthless. Obviously, people want it for
a reason. Um, it's high status, so it
attracts the opposite sex. Uh
especially for men, it attracts women.
Uh, that said, it is high cost. It means
you have no privacy. Um, you do have
weirdos and lunatics. Uh, you do get hit
up a lot for weird things. Uh, and
you're on a stage, so you're forced to
perform, so you're forced to be
consistent with your past proclamations
and actions, and you're going to have
haters and all that nonsense. But the
fact that we do it, the fact that we all
seem to want it means that it would be
disingenuous to say, "Oh, no, no, I'm
famous." But you don't want to be
famous. Um, that said, I think fame
like anything else, is best produced as
a or pursued as a byproduct of something
potentially more worthwhile. Um, wanting
to be famous and craving to be famous
and being famous for being famous, these
are sort of traps. Fame for fame's sake.
Yeah. Exactly. So, it's better that it's
earned fame. Uh so for example earn
respect in the tribe is you do things
that are good for the tribe. Uh who are
the most famous people in human history?
Uh there uh you know there there are
people who sort of transcended the self.
The Buddhas and the Jesuses and the
Muhammads of the world. Who else is
famous? Uh the artists are famous. You
know art lasts for a long time. The
scientists are famous. They discover
thing. The conquerors are famous
presumably because they conquered for
their tribe. There was someone that they
were fighting for.
So generally the higher up you rise by
doing things for greater and greater
groups of people even though it may be
considered tyrannical or negative like
uh you know Jenghaskhan is famous but uh
to the Mongols he was doing good to the
rest of them not so much
uh the higher level you're operating at
the more people you're taking care of
the more you sort of earn respect and
fame and I think those are good reasons
to be famous if if if fame is empty if
you're famous just cuz your name showed
up in a lot of places or your face
showed up in a lot of places then that's
a hollow fame and I think deep down you
will know that and so it'll be fragile
and you'll always be afraid of losing it
and then you'll be forced to perform so
the kind of fame that uh pure actors and
celebrities have I wouldn't want but the
kind of fame that's earned because you
did something useful uh why dodge that
now you can there's a challenge I think
especially if people make uh very loud
public proclamations about things you
mentioned there about um you're almost
hostage to the things that you used to
say that um being able to update your
opinions and change your mind looks very
similar to the internet as hypocrisy
does. No, no, no. The difference between
me saying something in the past and
saying something different now is
perhaps I've learned, perhaps I've
updated my beliefs, but so few people do
it in a legitimate way. I think that the
grifter shill you see this is the the
the smoking gun that shows that he
didn't really believe that thing all
along. Right. And uh yeah, I I went to a
retreat in LA a couple of years ago and
there was a guy that I used to follow
that a big um business and productivity
advice content creator really really
successful and he just totally stepped
back from everything and went uh like
monk mode and focused on his business. I
asked him why and he said uh I started
feeling like I had to live up to in
private the things that I was saying in
public. Right. Yeah. It's a it's a what
was it that uh who said it was a mein
that um foolish consistency is a
hobgoblin of little minds right um but
essentially look all life is all
learning is error correction right every
knowledge creation system works through
correcting errors making guesses and
correcting errors so by definition if
you're learning you're going to be wrong
most of the time and you'll be updating
your priors and so for example I did
this Joe Rogan podcast I don't know it's
like eight or nine years ago um and
people will call out like the thing that
didn't turn out to be correct, right?
And it's just like and they just beat on
it because it it helps them in their
mind raise their status a little bit.
Aha, I caught him in an error. Well, I
think if you catch someone in a blatant
lie where there's believe one thing and
they say another, that's legit. That's a
character flaw. They shouldn't be lying.
But on the other hand, if they just made
a guess at something and they got it
wrong. And by the way, mostly it's about
the AI AGI thing. And I think I'm still
right about that, but it's a different
story. Um people who think we have
achieved AGI just fail a touring test
from their side. Um but
uh it's funny how people latch on to
single proclamations. But the reality is
all of us are dynamical systems. We're
always changing. We're always learning.
We're always growing. And uh hopefully
we're correcting errors. What you don't
want to be doing is lying in public so
that because you're you're trying to
look good. And I think people can smell
that. I I I what this world really lacks
right now is authenticity and because
everybody wants something. They want to
be seen as something. They want to be
something that they're not. And so you
do catch a lot of people uh saying
things that they don't really believe.
And I think people are very sensitive to
that. Uh [ __ ] radars have become
hypersensitized to try and work out
whether or not this person means the
thing that they're saying. Yeah. I mean
they they a lot of people are wrong.
Most of us are wrong most of the time
especially in any new endeavor.
Difference between being wrong and
disingenuous though, purposefully wrong.
Correct. Exactly. So I think I think
that's the big difference. If someone is
wrong, no big deal. As long as they have
a genuine reason for saying what they're
saying, or believing what they're
believing. But if they are lying to
elevate their status or their appearance
or to live up to some expectation
that's the mistake. And that's a mistake
not just for the listener, it's a
mistake for themselves cuz then you're
going to get trapped in a hall of
mirrors. You yourself are going to be
consistent with your past proclamations.
So if you're lying to others, you're
going to be lying to yourself. You're
puppeted by a person that you are not
even. That's right. Yeah. It's it's like
what was that line? There's you're
you're basically trying to impress
people who, you know, don't care about
you. Um so they don't like the real you.
And if they saw the real you, they
wouldn't care. And the people who would
like the real you don't get to see the
real you. So they pass you by, right?
You only want the respect of the very
very few people that you respect. Uh
trying to demand respect from the masses
is a fool's errand.
status games, the allure of acrewing
whether it's fame, actual fame, or just
the competition comparison trap, it's
always there. Uh there's a real draw of
being swayed by social approval. How
should people learn to get less
distracted by status games in that
way? I think it it just helps to see
that status games don't matter as much
as they used to. uh in old society
let's go back hunter gatherer times
there was no such thing as wealth. You
just had what you could carry. Um there
was no stored wealth. So wealth games
didn't really exist to wealth creation
games. All that existed was status
games. If you were high status, then you
got what little was available first. Um
but even back then, you had to earn your
status by taking care of the tribe. Uh
now we have wealth creation where you
can actually create a product or a
service. you can scale that product or
service and you can provide abundance
for a lot of people. Uh and that's not
zero sum, that's a positive sum game. I
can be wealthy, you can be wealthy, we
can create things together and clearly
since we are all collectively far far
wealthier than we were in huntergatherer
times. Uh wealth creation is positive
but status is limited. There's limited
status to go around. It's a ranking
ladder. It's a hierarchy. And so it's a
rise in status. Somebody else has a
lower in status. Now you can have
multiple kinds of status. So you can
expand some kinds of status, but it's
not like wealth creation where it can go
infinitely where we can all be, you
know, living in the stars and moon bases
or Mars colonies or what have you. So
just realize that status games are
inherently limited. Uh they're always
combative. Um they always require uh
direct combat whereas uh wealth creation
games can be just you're creating
products. You don't have to fight
anybody else. Yes, in the marketplace
your product has to succeed, but that's
not quite the same as uh invective
against other people or being angry with
other people or feeling pushed down or
pushed up or having a beef with
somebody. So, I would argue that wealth
creation games are both more pleasant.
Uh they're positive sum and they
actually have uh concrete material
returns. If you have more money, you can
buy more. Show me where you can exchange
your status at the bank. Exactly. Yeah.
It's it's it's vague and it's fuzzy.
Now, you see people get rich, they have
money, what do they want? They want
status. So they go to Hollywood, start
starring in movies, they donate to
nonprofits, they go to KS or Davos or
what have you. Um, and they start trying
to trade the money for status. So, you
know, people always want what they don't
have. Uh, and we are evolutionarily
hardwired for status because as I said
wealth creation didn't really exist
until the agricultural revolution, uh
when you could store grain and then the
industrial revolution took it to another
level and now the information age is
taking it to yet another level. But
there's never been an easier time to
make money. Yes, it's still hard, but
there's never been an easier time to
create wealth because there's so much
leverage out there. There's so much
opportunity. You still have to go find
it. It's not easy. It's not going to
fall on your lap, and you have to learn
something and know something and do
something interesting. But nevertheless
it's possible to many more
people. A few hundred years ago, you
were born a surf, you were going to die
a surf. There was almost no way out of
that. That's changed. And so I would
argue that you're better off focusing on
wealth games and status games. If you're
trying to um build up, for example, your
following on a social network and get
famous and then get rich off of being
famous. That's a much harder path than
getting rich first. Um and then go for
your fame afterwards would be my advice.
Well, a lot of people do that as you
said. It's funny how uh people who have
achieved such a level of wealth that you
don't think why do you need the status
given that most people use status to
then try and cash in to achieve wealth.
If you've achieved [ __ ] money already
if you're post money or uh asset heavy
as it's known, um why are you trying to
go in the other direction? Well, as you
said, because we've we've got an
illustrious history biologically of
wanting status, and wealth is kind of
novel. It's new. It's new. Wealth is uh
something that you have to understand
more intellectually. Yeah, there's a
physical component, more food, more
survival, but uh to truly understand the
effects and the powers and the abilities
and the limitations uh and the
advantages and disadvantages of wealth
you have to use your neoortex a lot
more. Does that mean it's not limbic?
The reason to play the game is to win
the game and be done with it is harder
to win and be done with for status than
it is for wealth. That's a good
observation. I had thought that through
but you're right. Yeah, I think that's
right. I think you people will always
want more status. Uh but I think you can
be satisfied at a certain level of
wealth. Well, as
well you always have this sort of sense.
This is what leaderboards are, right?
This is the the billboard chart, right?
And it is zero sum and it is I guess you
know the Forbes richest people on the
planet. That one's harder to climb the
ladder on. But uh the fact that for
example iTunes and YouTube can put you
in competition against your
contemporaries every single day and make
you go up and down and show you likes
and comments and ratings. This is how
much felt. This is how much you're up.
Exactly. They they keep you running on
that treadmill forever. Jimmy Carr has
this cool idea where he says trajectory
is more important than position. So if
you are number 101 in the world but last
year you were number 200 versus you're
number two in the world but last year
you were number one. there is this sense
of the deceleration is very very
tangible and um it's again it goes back
to evolution you know something that is
bleeding eventually dies unless you stop
the bleeding so you're you're hardwired
not to lose what you have and because we
evolve in conditions where we're so
close to just not surviving uh you don't
want to give anything up. It's hardwired
into us to not give anything up. So you
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a checkout. The worst outcome in the
world is not having
self-esteem. Why? Yeah, that's a tough
one. Uh
well, I I I look at the people and I
don't want to offend anybody, but I look
at the people who don't like themselves
and that's the toughest slot because
they're always wrestling with
themselves, and it's hard enough to face
the outside world. Um, and no one's
going to like you more than you like
yourself. So, if you're struggling with
yourself, then the outside world becomes
an insurmountable challenge. And it's
hard to say why people have low
self-esteem. It might be genetic. It
might just be circumstantial. A lot of
times I think it's cuz they just weren't
unconditionally loved as a child. And
that sort of seeps in at a deep core
level. Um but self-esteem issues can be
the most limiting. Uh one interesting
thought is that you know to some extent
self-esteem is a reputation you have
with yourself. Um you're watching
yourself at all times. You know what
you're doing and you have your own moral
code. Everyone has a different moral
code. But if you don't live up to your
own moral code, the same code that you
hold others to, uh it will damage your
self-esteem. So perhaps one way to build
up your self-esteem is to live up to
your own code very rigorously. Have one
and then live up to it. Uh another way
to raise your self-esteem might be to do
things for others. Uh if I look back on
my life and you know what are the
moments that I'm actually proud of
there's very far and few between and
it's not that often and it's not the
things you would expect. It's not the
material success. It's not having
learned this thing or that. It's when I
made a sacrifice for somebody or
something that I loved. And uh that's
when I'm actually ironically most proud.
Now that's through an explicit mental
exercise. But I'll bet you at some level
I'm recording that implicitly. So that
tells me that even if I am not being
loved and the way to create love is to
give love to to express love through
sacrifice and through duty. And so I
think doing things like that can build
up your self-esteem really fast. It's
interesting when you talk about
sacrifice because a lot of the time
people say, "I sacrificed so much for my
job." It's like, "Yeah, but that was you
sacrificing something that you wanted
less for something that you wanted more
as opposed to genuinely taking some sort
of cost." And uh yeah, I wonder whether
if self-esteem is you adhering to your
internal your your actions and your
values aligning um even when it's
difficult or perhaps even more so when
it's difficult. I wonder whether there
is a price that people who are more
introspective, high integrity pay
because you think well you've got this
uh heavy set of overheads that you need
to pay in some way. Well, if being
ethical were profitable, everybody would
do it, right? So, uh you at some level
it does involve a sacrifice. Uh but that
sacrifice can also be thought of as
you're thinking for the long term rather
than the short term. Um for example the
virtues are the set of
uh virtues a set of beliefs that if
everybody in society followed them as
individuals it would lead to win-win
outcomes for everybody. So if I am
honest and you are honest then we can do
business more easily. We can interact
more easily because we can trust each
other. So even though there might be a
few liars in the system as long as there
aren't too many liars and too many
cheaters uh a high trust society where
everybody's honest is better off. And I
think a lot of the virtues work this way
right? If I don't go around sleeping
with your wife and you don't sleep with
mine and you know if I don't take all
the food that's at the table first and
so on, then we all get along better and
we can play win-win games. Uh in game
theory, the most famous game is
prisoners dilemma. But that's all about
everybody cheating and the Nash
equilibrium. The stable equilibrium
there is everybody cheats and you're for
the only way you can be you can play a
win-win game is if you have long-term
iterated moves. But that's not actually
the most common game played in society.
The most common game played as one
called a stags hunt where if we
cooperate, we can bring down a big stag
and both have big dinners, but if we
don't cooperate, then we have to go hunt
like rabbits and we each have small
dinners. So most of uh and and that game
has two stable equilibriums. And one
could be where we're both hunting the
rabbit and one could be where we're
hunting the stag. So the high trust
society is a more most more virtuous
society where I can trust you to come
hunt the stag with me and show up on
time and do the work and divide it up
properly. So you want to live in a
system where everybody has their own set
of virtues and follows them and then we
all win. But I would argue you don't
need to do that for sacrifice. You don't
need to do that for other people. You
can do it just purely for yourself. You
will have higher self-esteem. You will
attract other high virtue people. Would
I go on a stag hunt with me? Correct.
Yeah, that's right. And if you're the
kind of person, if you're the kind of
person who long-term signals ethics and
virtues, then you will attract other
people who are ethical and virtuous.
Whereas, if you are a shark, you will
eventually find yourself swimming
entirely amongst sharks. And that's an
unpleasant existence. But again, this
goes back to the equivalent of the
marshmallow test. And by the way, the
marshmallow test does not replicate. I
saw it replication crisis hard recently.
But it is about trading off the short
term for the long term. Uh, and so I
think for a lot of these so-called
virtues, there are long-term selfish
reasons to be virtuous.
Yeah. Uh, did you deal with self-doubt
in the past? Is that something that was
a a hurdle for you to overcome? Yes and
no. I think I I dealt with self-doubt in
the sense that, oh, I don't know what
I'm doing and I need to figure it out.
Um, but I didn't doubt myself in the way
of somebody else knows better than me
for me or that, you know, I'm an idiot
or I'm not worthwhile or anything that I
I guess I had the benefit of I grew up
with a lot of love like the people
around me love me unconditionally. And
so that just gave me a lot of
confidence. Uh, not the kind of
confidence that would say I have the
answer, but the kind of confidence that
I will figure it out and I know what I
want or only I am a good arbiter of what
I want. Yeah. That level of self-belief
I suppose, allows you to determine what
is it that matters to me, my
self-esteem, should I chase this thing
or not? I can make a fair judgment on
that as opposed to being so swayed. But
it's such a good point about even if you
think you're not consciously logging the
stuff that you're doing, there is some
that's in the back of your mind. Was it
the Damon? Is that what the ancient
Greeks or something used to talk about?
Yeah. The Yeah. Also in computer science
like there's a concept of a demon which
is a uh a program that's always running
in the background. You can't see it.
Okay. Um but yeah, it probably comes
from the ancient Greek demon. Uh but
yeah, I what you know that you don't
even know you know is far greater than
what you know you know, right? You can't
even articulate most of the things you
know. There are feelings you have that
have no words for them. There are
thoughts you have that are felt within
the body or subconsciously that you
never articulate to yourself. You don't
really you can't articulate the rules of
grammar yet you exercise them
effortlessly when you speak. So I would
argue that your implicit knowledge and
your knowledge that is unknown to
yourself is far greater than the
knowledge you can articulate and that
you can communicate.
And so at some level you're always
watching yourself. That's what your
consciousness is, right? It's the thing
that's watching everything including
your mind, including your body. M so if
you want to uh have high self-esteem
then earn your own selfrespect.
I had this idea the internal golden
rule. So the golden rule says treat
others the way that you should be
treated. You want to be treated. The
internal golden rule says treat yourself
like others should have treated you and
it was a a repost to maybe people that
didn't grow up with unconditional love.
Yeah. In that way. On the love thing
one of the interesting things about love
is you can try to remember the feeling
of being loved. So go back to when
someone was in love with you or someone
did love you and like really remember
that feeling like really sit with it and
try to recreate it within yourself and
then go to the feeling of you loving
someone and when you were in love. And
I'm not even talking about romantic love
necessarily. So be a little careful
there. I'm talking more about like love
for it can sometimes get complex if
you're talking about past romantic love
right? a sibling or a child or something
like that or or a parent and uh think
about when you felt love towards someone
or something. And now which is
better? And I would argue that the
feeling of being in love is actually
more exhilarating than the feeling of
being loved. Being loved is a little
clawing. It's a little too sweet. You
kind of want to push the person away.
It's a little embarrassing. And you know
that if that person is too much into it
that you feel constrained. On the other
hand, the feeling of being in love is
very expansive. It's very open. It
actually makes you a better version of
yourself. It makes you want to be a
better person. And so you can create
love anytime you want. It's just that
craving to receive it. That's the
problem. The most expensive trait is
pride. How come? Oh, that was a recent
one. Uh I I tweeted that just because I
think that uh pride is the enemy of
learning. So when I look at my friends
and colleagues, the ones who are still
stuck in the past and have grown the
least are the ones who were the proudest
because they sort of feel like they
already had the answers and so they
don't want to correct themselves
publicly. And so this goes back to the
fame conversation. You get locked into
something you said. It made you famous.
You're known for that and now you want
to pivot or change. So pride prevents
you from saying I'm wrong. It What's
pride in this context here? It could be
as simple as you're trading stocks and
then you don't admit you were wrong. So
you hang on to a lousy trait. Uh it
could be that you uh made a decision to
uh you know marry someone or move
somewhere or enter a profession, it
doesn't work out and then you don't
admit that you were wrong so you get
stuck in it. Uh it's mostly about
getting trapped in local maxima as
opposed to going back down and climbing
up the mountain again. Mhm. And that's
why it's an expensive trade because you
continue to need to repay it in one form
or another. Yeah. You're you're just
stuck at a suboptimal point. Uh it's
going to cost you money. It's going to
cost you success and time and time. Uh
the great artists always have this
ability to start over. Whether it's Paul
Simon or Madonna or you two and I'm
dating myself a little bit. Um but even
the great entrepreneurs, they're just
always willing to start over. Uh I'm
always struck by the Elon Musk story
where, you know, he uh he did PayPal as
X.com originally. Actually, it was his
his financial institution that got
merged into PayPal. It's good that
you've got the domain. You know what I
mean? Yeah, exactly. I'll park that.
I'll hold on. He's consistent. He's been
using it for quite a while. Um, and he
said something like along the lines of
uh, I made $200 million from the sale of
PayPal. I put $100 million into SpaceX
80 million Tesla, 20 into Solar City
and I had to borrow money for rent.
Right? This guy is a perennial risk
taker. He's always willing to start
over. He doesn't have any pride about
being seen as successful or being seen
as a failure. He's willing to put it all
in. Back himself again each time. Back
himself again each time. But the key
thing is he's always willing to start
over, right? even now when he's sort of
made his his new startup is a USA
right? He's basically trying to fix it
like he would fix one of his startups.
And I think that is a willingness to
look like a fool and that is a
willingness to start over. And a lot of
people just don't have that. They become
successful or they become rich or they
become famous and that's it. They're
stuck. They don't want to go back to
zero. And creating anything great
requires zero to one. And that means you
go back to zero and that's really
painful and hard to do. Talking about
risk, something I've been thinking about
a lot to do with you. Any moment when
you're not having a good time, when
you're not really happy, you're not
doing anyone any favors. I think lots of
people have
become unusually familiar with suffering
silently in that sort of a way of not
having a high bar for your expectation
for quality of life. Uh yeah, a lot of
it is just you're memeing yourself into
a bad outcome because you think that
somehow suffering is glorious or that it
makes you a better person or you know my
old quip was if you're so smart why
aren't you happy? Why can't you figure
that one out? Um the reality is you can
be smart and happy. There are plenty of
people in human history who are smart
and happy. Uh and I think it just starts
with saying yeah you know what I'm I'm
going to be happy. There was a guy that
I met in Thailand a long time ago and uh
he used to work for Tony Robbins. uh you
know he had a great attitude and uh we
were sitting around and he said you know
uh he said I realized one day that
someone out there had to be the happiest
person in the world like there just that
person just has to exist he said why not
me I'll take on that burden I'll be that
guy and I heard that I was like wow
that's pretty good that's a good frame
right he knew how to reframe things and
so I think a lot of happiness is just a
choice uh in the sense that you make
first you just identify yourself as
actually I'm going be a person that's
going to be happy. I'm going to figure
it out. And you just figure it out along
the way. You're not going to lose your
other predilictions. You're not going to
lose your ambition or your desire for
success. I think a lot of people have
this fear that, oh, if I'm happy, then I
won't want to be successful. No, you'll
just want to do things that are more
aligned with the happy version of you
and you'll be successful at those
things. And believe me, the happy
version of you is not going to look back
at the unhappy version and say, "Oh man
that that guy was going to be more
success. I wish I was him." You're
actually trying to be successful so
you'll be happy. That's the whole point.
you have you've gotten it backwards. You
you unlocked one of my trap cards. Um
one of my favorite insights is that we
sacrifice the thing we want for the
thing that's supposed to get it. So, we
sacrifice happiness in order to be
successful so that when we're finally
sufficiently successful, we can actually
be happy. And if you have some sort of
simultaneous equation and you just sort
of stripped success off from both sides
the at least in my own life, I have not
found there to be a trade-off. If
anything, I have found that the happier
I get, the more I am going to do the
things that I'm good at and aligned with
and that will make me even happier. And
so, I actually end up more successful
not less. The aligned with thing is
interesting. Uh, I'm going to try and
put this across as delicately as I can.
I would say from the bit of time that
we'd spent together, you have a really
interesting trait
of holistic selfishness. Uh, you're sort
of prepared to put yourself first. um
you seem largely unfazed by saying or
doing things that might might result in
other people feeling a little bit
awkward if it's truthful for you. Uh
it's like unapologetically
self-prioritizing, I guess. Yeah, I
think everybody is. Uh maybe
unapologetic is the part that's that's
relatively uh rare, but I think
everybody puts themselves first. That's
just human nature. You're you're here
because you survive. You're a separate
organism. That's interesting. I um maybe
but I know we like to virtue signal and
pretend we're doing it for each other.
How many how many times does somebody
say, "Yeah, of course. I'd love to come
to the wedding." They're like, "I don't
want to be at the [ __ ] wedding." How
many times does someone say, "How are
you doing today?" And they don't tell
you how many I don't go to weddings. But
this is my point. So I don't think
you're necessarily right with that. I
think that people do I don't think they
put themselves first. I sometimes think
that they they compromise what it is
that they want in order to appease
socially what's in front of them. Yeah.
I just view it as you're wast everyone's
wasting their time on it. Um don't do
something you don't want to do. Why why
are you wasting your time? There's so
little time on this earth. Life goes
fast. What is it? 4,000 weeks. That's
your lifespan. Um and and yes, we hear
that, but we don't remember it. But uh I
guess I'm keenly aware of how little
time I have, so I'm just not going to
waste it. How have you got more
comfortable at
um being the unapologetic self-
prioritizer? Yeah, I've gotten I've
gotten utterly more and more ruthless on
it. Ma mainly, it's that I see or hear
people's freedom and then that liberates
me further. So, I read a uh I read a
blog post by uh P. Mark aka Mark Andre
where he said, "Don't keep a schedule."
And I took that to heart. So, I deleted
my calendar and I don't keep a schedule.
I try to remember it all in my head. If
I can't remember it, I'm not going to
add you here on time. Yeah, exactly. Um
I had to look things up at the last
minute. Uh so but ironically I don't
even know if Mark himself follows that
but he made the correct point. Uh I read
a little story about Jack Dorsey doing
all his business off his uh iPhone and
iPad and not even going into a Mac and I
said okay I want to do that. So I'm
going to operate through text messaging
and not put up my nasty email. Does that
feel like more freedom? It does. Yeah.
Cuz you're on the go. Um so I have a
nasty email autoresponder that says I
don't check email and don't text me
either. Right. If you need to find me
you'll find me. Obviously, some of this
is a luxury of success, but some of
these habits I adopted long before
actually the hostile email autoresponder
started a long time ago. Um, I used to
own the domain. I let it go. I don't do
coffee.com. I used to reply from that
email uh just so people would get the
point. But I stopped being rude about
it. Now I just ghost. I just disappear.
Um, my wife knows not to ever uh book or
schedule me for anything. Uh, I'm not
expect I'm not expected to go to couples
dinners. I'm not expect to go to
birthdays. I'm not expect to go to
weddings. If somebody tries to rope her
into having me show up, she says he
makes his own decisions. You got to ask
him directly. What about vice versa?
Well, are you not killing serendipity in
a way that No, no. I'm freeing up all my
time. So, my entire life is serendipity.
I get to interact with whoever I want
whenever I want, wherever. You'll hear
the invite, but make the decision
because if you're if there's fewer
things in coming, you're assuming that
you know what's best for you to anything
in the future. So, I'll say, "Okay, if
that thing is interesting, I'll see if I
can get in that day when I'm in the
mood." But there's nothing worse than
something coming up that your past self
committed you to that your present self
doesn't want to do. God damn it. Past.
Yeah. And then it destroys your entire
calendar. It destroys your your day
because there's like, oh, this 1 hour
slot which is sitting like a turd on my
calendar that I have to like schedule my
whole day around. I can't do anything
the 20 minutes before, the 20 minutes
afterwards. Even for phone calls, if
someone wants to do a phone call, say
"Okay, just text me when you're free.
I'll text you when I'm free." and we'll
just do it on the fly. It's a much
better way of living than this overly
scheduled uh you know cal.com or iical
whatever. The uh the overscheduled life
is not worth living. It's not. I think
it's a terrible way to live life. That's
not how we evolved. It's not how we grew
up. Um it's not how how we were as
children hopefully uh unless you're a
helicopter parent or a tiger mom. Um
your natural order is freedom. Uh I had
a friend who uh said to me once, you
know, uh I never want to have to be at a
specific place at a specific time. And I
was like, "Oh my god, that's freedom."
When I heard that, that changed my life
right there. You still arm alarm
clockless? Yes, I'm alarm clockless.
Today, I did set my alarm clock just so
I wouldn't miss this. Very important.
Yeah. If you still, but just so you
know, I set the alarm clock from 11:00
a.m. in case I was stricken with a flu
that day. I wasn't going to set my alarm
clock for 8:00 a.m. or 9:00 a.m. And
sure enough, I got up many hours before
that. Um, but it was sort of a backup
emergency alarm. In fact, sometimes when
I something that I need to do, I don't
want to look at a calendar, so I'll just
set an alarm for it.
Just sink a little bit more into
that like kind of like that [ __ ] you
energy, that self- prioritizing energy
because I think people rationally love
the idea of this. I'm going to do what
only I want to do. uh even if they've
got the level of freedom, it's not [ __ ]
you energy in the sense that I think
everyone should live their life that way
to the greatest extent possible.
Obviously, we have our requirements
around work and obligations that are
genuinely important to us. But don't
fritter away your life on randomly
scheduled things and things that aren't
important don't matter and events and
weddings and you know tedious dinners
with tedious people that you don't want
to go to. To the extent you can bring
freedom into your life, optimize for
that, you'll actually be more
productive. You won't just be happier
and more free. You will be more
productive because then you can focus on
what is in front of you, whatever the
biggest problem of that day. When I wake
up in the morning, uh the first 4 hours
are when I have the most energy and
that's when I want to solve all the hard
problems. And the next 4 hours are when
I kind of want to, you know, do some
more outdoorsy activities or I want to
work out or maybe I can, you know, have
some meetings, but I'll try to do those
last second based on whatever the day's
priorities demand. the last 4 hours I
kind of want to wind down. I want to
hang out with the kids and I want to
play games or read a book or something
like that. So having that flexibility
and freedom is really important. So you
can just put whatever is most needed
into the slot at that moment. Uh and
instead if I have like a meeting at 2
p.m. and then I have to like get a thing
and some emails done, I put that off
till 6 p.m. I'm rushing. I'm not going
to be productive. I'm not going to be uh
You're certainly not free. You're not
I'm definitely not free. But also
another thing that I really believe is
that inspiration is perishable. Act on
it immediately. So when you're inspired
to do something, do that thing. If I'm
inspired to write a blog post, I want to
do it at that moment. If I'm inspired to
send a tweet, I want to do it at that
moment. If I'm inspired to solve a
problem, I do it that moment. If I'm
inspired to read a book, I want to read
it right then. If I'm inspired to solve
a problem, I solve it right there. If I
want to learn something, I I do it at
the moment of curiosity. The moment the
curiosity arrives, I go learn that thing
immediately. I download the book. I get
on Google. I get on ChatGpt, whatever. I
will figure that thing out on the spot
and that's when the learning happens. It
doesn't happen because I've scheduled
time because I've set an hour aside
because when that time arrives I might
be in a different mood. I might just
want to do something different. So I
think that spontaneity is really
important. You're going to learn best
when you're having fun when you
generally are enjoying the process not
when you're forced to sit there and do
it. How much do you remember from
school? You know you were forced to
learn geography, history, mathematics on
this schedule at this time according to
this person. Didn't happen. All the
stuff that sticks with you is you
learned it when you wanted to, when you
genuinely had the desire. And that
freedom, that ability to act on
something the moment you want to is so
liberating that most of us go through
our lives with very very little tastes
of that. If you live your entire life
that way, that is a recipe for
happiness. It feels like efficiency that
that you have efficient also. You have
the inspiration that is going to be the
most frictionless time to ever do that
particular task. So, oh, I've had the
inspiration to do that. I'll put that
off until a time when I no longer really
want to do it quite so much. And while I
do want to do that thing, I'll do
something else that I needed to do
because it's on the schedule. It does
not work. Procrastination is because you
don't want to do that thing right now.
You want to do something else. Go do
that something else. I reject this frame
that efficiency and productivity and
success are counter to happiness and
freedom. They actually go together.
How so? The happier you are, the more
you can sustain doing something, the
more likely you're going to do something
that will in turn make you even happier.
and you'll continue to do it and you'll
outwork everybody else. The more free
you are, the better you can allocate
your time and the less you're caught up
in a web of obligations and commitments
and the more you can focus on the task
at hand. In other news, this episode is
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to
functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's
functionhealth.com/modernwisdism. This
is related to another insight of yours.
The less you want something, the less
you're thinking about it. The less
you're obsessing over it, the more
you're going to do it in a natural way
the more you're going to do it for
yourself. You're going to do it in a way
that you're good at and you're going to
stick with it. The people around you
will see the quality of your work is
higher. But this seems like a difficult
tension to navigate because an obsessive
attention to detail is a competitive
advantage of your work as well. So you
have these two things sort of
conflicting with each other. No one is
going to beat you at being you if it So
one of the things I like to say is like
find what feels like play to you but
looks like work to others. So it looks
like work to them but to you it feels
like play. It's not work. So you're
going to out compete them because you're
doing it effortlessly. You're doing it
for fun. They're doing it for work.
They're doing it for some byproduct. To
you it's art. It's beauty. It's joy.
It's it's flow. It's fulfilling. Uh, you
must enjoy podcasting. If you didn't
you wouldn't be good at
it either, right? If you would, you
would if if you decided that the right
way to get ahead in life was to go write
books. You would, nobody would have
heard of you. Chris Williamson's book
would be a complete flop. That's not who
you are. You're a podcaster. You enjoy
talking to people. You enjoy
interviewing them. The more you do
things that are natural to you, the less
competition you have. You escape
competition through authenticity.
by being your own self. If I had to
summarize how to be successful in life
in two words, I would just say
productize yourself. That's it. Just
figure out what it is that you naturally
do that the world might want that you
can scale up and turn into a product and
it'll be it'll eventually be effortless
for you. Yes, there's always work
required, but it won't even feel like
work to you. It'll feel like play to
you. And modern society gives us that
opportunity. You know, if you were 2,000
years ago, you're born in a farm. Your
choices are very limited, right? You're
going to do stuff on that farm. Now, you
can literally wake up and you can move
to a different city. You can switch
careers. You can switch jobs. You can
change the people that you're with. Uh
you know, you can change so many things
about who you are and who you're with
and what you're doing that there is
infinite opportunity out there for you.
Literally infinite. And so it's much
better to treat this like a search
function to find the people who need you
the most, to find the work that needs
you the most, to find the place you're
best suited to be at. And it's
worthwhile to spend time in that
exploration before diving into
exploitation. The biggest mistake in a
world with so many choices is premature
commitment. If you prematurely commit to
being a lawyer or a doctor and now
you've got like, you know, 5 years
invested into that, you might have just
completely missed. You might just end up
in the wrong profession, the wrong
place, or the wrong people for 30 years
of your life grinding away. And yes, the
best time to figure that out was before
but the second best time is now. So
just change it. And also, presumably
kill things that aren't working very
quickly.
By default, you should kill everything.
You know, if you can't decide, the
answer is no. Uh, and most things you
should just be saying no to. The part of
my keeping my calendar free is just by
default saying no to everything. Do I
want to create a calendar just to add
your event, right? Or to add your need
or your desire. One of the other things
about, you know, early on in life
you're looking for opportunities. So
you're saying yes to everything. And
that is a phase that you go through.
That is the exploration phase. Later
when you found the thing you want to
work on, you're in the exploitation
phase. You have to say no to everything
by default. And if you don't say no to
everything by default, if you have to
even explicitly go out of your way to
say no to something, that will take up
time. Uh, for example, you know, there
there are a lot of people out there who
are into hustle culture and and a big
piece of hustle culture is like, well
you're not going to get something if you
don't ask for it. So, they'll hustle
people. They'll always be sending you
requests, messages. Yeah, this is a
famous person problem, but I have it.
And people are always asking me for
things. And I kind of squirm when I get
these messages, and I'm sure you get
these two text messages, emails saying
"Hey, Chris, my friend so and so should
really be on your podcast, or you should
come to my event. You should write a
forward for my book." And you kind of
squirm when you get this, right? You
have to figure out how to say no. And
one of the things I learned along the
way is that if you wouldn't ask somebody
else to do it and then you get that
request yourself, you can just dismiss
it. You don't have to respond. You don't
you don't even let let it enter your
brain. You have to be able to delete
emails and text messages without
flinching if you want to scale. And
scaling is very important. Scaling your
time is really important. Every
interruption will take you out of flow.
So the only way you can remain in flow
is if you get either very good at
ignoring these things by default or
closing yourself off like a hermit like
our mutual friend Tim Ferris does or you
just become emotionally capable of not
registering these as something that
causes turbulence inside of you. That
not registering it emotionally thing is
that uh it's fundamental. That's so
fundamental to so many things in life.
Okay. Can we dig into that a little bit?
is because again I've only seen you as
you right I didn't know you 20 years ago
I didn't know you as a child um so I've
only seen you with
this holistic selfishness the in
integrated self- prioritization whatever
we I don't know what we called it
selfish is fine I'll take selfish I'm
selfish I'm very selfish person don't
contact me
uh yeah that emotional reaction I also
get the sense too that maybe people have
lived obligation life for so long that
they actually kind of struggle to tap
into what it is that they want. They've
hidden their wants and their desires and
their needs and they've dep prioritized
themselves so much for so long they go
"What do I want actually? What what is
it? Do I want to go to this thing or
not?" Because all I've done is be
[ __ ] puppeted, right? I've been
marionetted by other people's desires
for so so so long. I can't even tap into
that anymore. And saying no feels like a
war crime. So, so I think it's really
good to be able to view your own mind
and your own thoughts objectively and
that is the big benefit of meditation.
It creates a small gap between your
conscious observation self and your mind
and that lets you then look at your
thoughts and evaluate them a little bit
like you would a third party's
statements. And uh if you just take your
mind to be you and they're integrated in
one and the same at all times and you're
reacting from the mind, then you're not
even going to question things that come
into your mind. Anything that comes in
that creates a reaction will immediately
create a reaction. But if you can
observe your thoughts a little bit and
not in some woo way, but you can even
just do it through therapy, you can do
it through journaling, you can do it any
way you would like, you can just take
long walks, you don't have to meditate
and do lotus position. uh all that is
unnecessary. But if you can observe your
own thoughts and view them a little
objectively, then you can start being uh
a little more choosy, a little more
critical and you can realize that there
are no problems in the real world other
than maybe things that inflict pain on
your body. Everything else has to become
a problem in your mind first. You have
to view it and interpret it and create a
narrative that it is a problem before it
becomes a problem. And then you realize
that a lot of your emotional energy is
spent on reacting to things that your
mind is automatically saying are
problems. Uh and you don't need all
those problems. Do you really need that
many problems in your life? Again, I
would say try to focus on just one
overarching problem and then go solve
that problem. It's like if you want to
be successful, define success very
concretely. Focus on that. In everything
else, when it enters your mind, it
becomes a problem. Whether it's a
judgment about the girl walking down the
street or the car that just cut in front
of you or whether it's like you know
this your accountant did this stupid
thing like yes it's going to trigger you
but observe for a moment that like it's
triggering me. I've created a problem.
Do I really want to have this problem
right now? Do I want to spend the energy
on this problem or do I want that going
somewhere else? And it it doesn't have
to be that overt. You don't have to the
mind mud wrestling with itself is also a
problem but because it loves to do that.
I have my problems have got problems and
I have a real problem about fixing my
problems. Yeah. Exactly. So you just
you're going to be much happier and much
more focused. Again, I think happiness
and focus and success can kind of
complement each other. You're going to
have much more energy. Just think about
as mental energy. You have much more
mental energy to focus on the actual
problems you want to solve if you don't
start unconsciously, subconsciously
reactively picking up problems
everywhere. So before anything can be a
problem that takes up your emotional
energy, you have to accept it as a
problem. You can be choosy about your
problems. And I'm not saying I'm perfect
in that regard, but I think I'm better
than I used to be. Well, lots of people
are addicted to solving problems. So
much so that sometimes people create
problems when we don't have any simply
so that we can solve them. We have that
going on. And then even worse is we take
on problems that we can't affect. So
uh, you know, another one of my little
quips was, uh, you know, um, a rational
person, uh, can, uh, sort of a rational
person should should cultivate
indifference to things that are out of
their control, right? Uh, or a rational
person can find peace by cultivating
indifference to things that are out of
their control. Uh, and I'm as guilty as
anybody of doom surfing on X or social
media and getting worked up about things
that I can't do anything about, right?
like, do I want to be fighting those
battles in my mind when I literally
cannot do anything about it? So, if you
find yourself looping on a problem, like
you're watching the news too much and
you're getting caught up in a problem
you can't do anything about, um, you
have to step away from that. And, uh
modern media is a delivery mechanism for
mimetic viruses. And now, what's
happened now is, you know, 100 years
ago, 500 years ago, if something wasn't
happening in your immediate vicinity
you wouldn't hear about it. it wouldn't
be a problem for you. But now every
single one of the world's problems has
turned into a mimemetic virus which is
going into the battlefield of the news
and is trying to infect your mind in
real time so that yeah so that you
become obsessed with the war in Ukraine
which is really far away or you get
obsessed with climate change or you get
obsessed with AI doom or you get
obsessed with whatever and there's
nothing as riveting as the old religion
the world is ending the world is ending
pay attention the world is ending and if
you don't Cassandra complex at global
scale Cassandra complex at global scale
Well, and I would argue that large
percentages of the population are
essentially just infected with these
mimetic viruses that have taken over
their brain and are causing them to do
incredible girration about things that
probably aren't even true or are greatly
exaggerated. But even to the extent they
are true, they're things that that
person can do nothing about. And they
should put their own house in order
first. So, you know, another little line
I have for myself is your family is
broken, but you're going to fix the
world. Right? People are running out
there to try and fix the world when
their own lives are a mess. Oh my god.
Right? And and I think it defies
credibility if you can't fix your own
life first. I'm not going to take you
seriously if you can't fix your own
life. Like all these philosophers who
you know, seem like people you emulate
and so smart or like these brilliant
celebrities and they go off and commit
suicide. Well, you just kind of
invalidated your whole way of life. It's
like that line of in No Country for All
Men where the killer is waiting for the
protagonist and protagonist shows up and
the killer says, "Well, you know, if
your set of rules brought you here, then
what good are your rules?" I didn't
work. Um I I I I am self I'm
holistically selfish in in that I want
to be objectively successful in
everything I set out to want. Mhm. Yeah.
Uh you have one life. Don't settle for
mediocrity. Don't settle for mediocrity.
And and I think the only like people
debate intelligence for example, right?
We talk about IQ tests and all that, but
I think the only true test of
intelligence is if you get what you want
out of life. And there are two parts to
that. One is getting what you want so
you know how to get it. And the second
is wanting the right things. Knowing
what to want in the first place. I could
want to be a, you know, 6'8 basketball
player and I'm not going to get that. So
it's wanting the wrong thing. So that's
wanting something that you can't get.
That's wanting something you can't get.
Is also wanting something that you don't
want. Yeah. Wanting something that's a
booby prize. There are plenty of booby
prizes out there, too. Right. I haven't
heard that word in about 20 years. Yeah.
Prizes that are just not worth having or
that create their own problems. Well, if
you're not careful, you can end up in a
place in life not only that you don't
want to be, but one that you didn't even
mean to get to. That's if you're kind of
proceeding unconsciously. Uh how many
people and and usually I think people
end up there because they are uh going
on autopilot with sort of societal
expectations or other people's
expectations. So, uh you know, or out of
guilt or out of like uh mimemetic
desire. You know, Peter Teal has this
whole thing from Rene Gerard about how
mimemetic desires are desires are picked
up from other people. Uh, and some of
those are automatically baked into
society like, you know, go to law
school, go to med school, go to
whatever, go to business school. Um, or
they might be from watching what your
friends are doing and, you know, the
other monkeys are doing. Um, or it might
just be, you know, what your parents
expectations are. I might be a guilt.
You know, guilt is just society's voice
speaking in your head, socially
programmed, so you'll be a good little
monkey and do things that are good for
the tribe. Um, but I think the the the
best outcomes come when you think it
through for yourself and decide for
yourself. And I don't think people spend
enough time deciding. For example, we
run on these uh four-year cycles. You
know, in Silicon Valley, you go join a
startup, you vest your stock over four
years. That's the standard. Okay? Um uh
in u uh college, you know, you go for
four years. High school, you go for four
years. Um some things take longer. You
know, you have children, they hit
puberty 9 years later. That's like a
9-year cycle until that relationship
changes. Um but we're used to these
fairly long cycles, multi-year cycles in
which we are committed to things. You go
to law school, you know, four or five
year cycle. You go be a lawyer, 40-year
cycle. These are very long cycles. The
amount of time we spend deciding what to
do and who to do it with, very short
very very short, right? We spend, you
know, 3 months deciding, one month
deciding on a job where we're going to
be for 10 years or 5 years. And because
a lot of discovery is path dependent
where the next thing you find on the
path is depend on where you were on the
previous path. You sort of start going
down this vector that is a very long
distance. People decide frivolously
which city to live in and that's going
to decide who their friends are, what
their jobs are, their opportunity, their
weather, their food supply, their air
supply, quality of life. You know, it's
such an important decision, but people
spend so little time thinking it
through. I would argue that if you're
making a four-year decision, spend a
year thinking it through. Like really
thinking it through. 25% of the time.
Yeah. Exactly. There's the secretary
theorem. I don't know if you know that
one. Computer science. After you've done
this many people, pick the best one of
the next however many. That's right.
Yeah. The secretary theorem is this
computer science professor is trying to
figure out uh how much time he should
spend interviewing secretaries and then
how long to keep the secretary. So let's
say he's going to have a secretary for
10 years. Does he keep searching for
you know, one year, 2 years, 3 years, 1
month, 2 months? What is the optimal
time? Uh and it turns out that the
optimal time is somewhere around a
third. about a third of the way through
you take the best person you've worked
with and try to find someone that good
or better. So that by the time you've
gotten about a third of the way through
you have, excuse me, seen enough that
you now have a sense of what the bar is.
And then anybody who meets or exceeds
that bar is good enough. And this
applies to dating, this applies to jobs
and careers, this applies generally. But
the interesting thing about the
secretary theorem is that it's actually
not time based. It's not based on
onethird of the time. It's iteration
based. The number of candidates, the
number of shots you took on goal. That's
right. So, you want to have lots and
lots of iterations. So, that means that
you need to bail out quickly and you
need to be decisive quickly. That's
right. You need to you need to take
opportunities quickly and bail out
quickly. Correct. Like if you go back
and you look through failed
relationships, uh probably the biggest
regret will be staying in the
relationship after you knew it was over.
Exactly. You should have left sooner.
The moment you knew it wasn't going to
work out, you should have moved on. So
in that sense, I think Malcolm Gladwell
popularized this idea of 10,000 hours to
mastery. I would say it's actually
10,000 iterations to mastery. It's not
actually 10,000. It's some unknown
number. But it's about the number of
iterations that drives a learning curve.
And iteration is not repetition.
Repetition is a different thing.
Repeating is doing the same thing over
and over. Iteration is modifying it with
a learning and then doing another
version of it. So that's error
correction. So if you get 10,000 error
corrections in anything, you will be an
expert at it. don't partner with cynics
and pessimists. You mentioned there
about uh the people who've got a
nightmare going on at home and are
trying to fix the world. But a lot of
the time that cynicism and pessimism we
find in ourselves. We see the world
whether we want to whether it's because
we've embied what the news or or the
negative people around us have said or
it's a bit more kind of endogenous than
that. It's just sort of in us. It's the
way that we see the world. How can
people avoid cynicism and pessimism
within themselves? Yeah. Synism and
pessimism is a tough one. It's we're
naturally hardwired for it. Again, I go
back to evolution. I I'm sorry to keep
harping on evolution, but within
biology, there's very few good
explanatory theories. And you know
theory of evolution by natural selection
is probably the best one. So, if you
can't explain something about life or
psychology or human nature through
evolution, then you probably don't have
a good theory for it. And I would say
that pessimism is another one that comes
out of this, which is in the natural
environment, you're hardwired to be
pessimistic. Because let's say that I
see something rustling in the woods and
if I move towards it and it turns out to
be food and prey then good I get to eat
one meal but if it turns out to be a
predator I get eaten and that's the end
of that. So we are hardwired to avoid
ruin um and and uh you know just dying.
So we are naturally hardwired to be
pessimists but modern society is very
different despite whatever problems you
may have with modern society. It is far
far safer than living in the jungle and
just trying to survive. uh and the
opportunities on the upside are
nonlinear. For example, when you're
investing, if you short a stock, you the
most money you can make is 2x. You just
lose. You know, if the stock goes to
zero, you double your money. But if the
stock is the next Nvidia and it goes
100x or a,000x, you make a lot of money.
So upside through because of leverage is
nearly unlimited. Uh also in modern
society, because there's so many
different people you can interact with
if you go on a date and it fails, there
are infinite more people to go on a date
with. In a tribal system, there might
have been 20 people and you can't even
get through all of them. So, modern
society is far more forgiving of
failure. And you just have to sort of
neoccortically realize and override
that. You have to realize that you're
much more running a search function to
find the thing that'll work. And then
that one thing will pay off in massive
compounding. Once you find your mate for
the rest of your life, you find your
wife or your husband, then you can
compound in that relationship. It's okay
if you had 50 failed dates in between.
The same way once you find the one
business you're meant to plow into and
it'll compound returns. It's okay if you
had 50 small failed ventures or 50 small
failed job interviews. It doesn't the
number of failures doesn't matter. And
so there's no point in being a
pessimist. It's you want to be an
optimist. But I would say you want to be
you want to be skeptical about specific
things. Every specific opportunity is
probably a fail. But you want to be
optimistic in the general. In the
general you want to be like something in
here is going to work out. How do you
navigate that tension?
I mean, exactly as I said, I'm
optimistic in the general that if
something fails right now, then this is
a little woowoo, but it wasn't meant to
be. It was a learning experience. It was
an iteration. As long as I learned
something from it, then it's a win. If I
didn't learn from it, then it's a loss.
But as long as you're learning and you
keep iterating fast and cutting your
losses quickly, then when you find the
right thing, you have to be optimistic
and compound into it. So, you don't want
to jump into the first thing. And you
don't want to marry the first person you
date necessarily, unless you got very
lucky. Um, but you you want to
investigate and explore very very
quickly until you find the match. And
then you have to be willing to go all
in. You have to be willing to move your
chips to the center of the table. So
both those uh both those uh approaches
are required. So it's a barbell
strategy. It's sort of black or it's
white. And most people are sort of stuck
in this gray bit. And I'm like half in
but I'm kind of don't really know if I
am. I also think like labels like
pessimist optimist cynic introvert
extrovert, these are very self-limiting.
Humans are very dynamic. There are times
when you feel like being introverted.
There are times when you feel like being
extroverted. There are contexts in which
you'll be pessimistic. There are
contexts in which you'll be
optimistic. Leave all those labels
alone. It's better just to look at the
problem at hand. Look at reality the way
it is. Try to take yourself out of the
equation in a in a sense. Like obviously
you're involved, but motivated reasoning
is the worst kind of reasoning. Uh
you're not going to find truth through
highly motivated reasoning. You have to
be objective. And objective means trying
to take yourself out of it as much as
possible or at least your personality
out of it as much as possible. And so to
the extent you run with this thick
identity and personality, it's going to
cloud your judgment. It's going to try
and lock you into the past. If you say
"I'm a depressed, unhappy person. Yeah
I'm going to be unhappy." That's a way
of locking yourself into your past. even
saying, "I have trauma. I have PTSD."
Yeah, you you feel something. There are
memories. There are flashes. There are
occasional bad feelings. But don't
define yourself by it because then
you'll lock it into your identity and
you're just going to loop on it. It's
better to stay flexible because reality
is always changing and you have to be
able to adapt to it. Adaptation is also
intelligence. Adaptation is survival.
Adaptation is kind of how you're here.
You're here because you're an adapter
and your ancestors were adapters. So to
adapt, you will be able to see things
clearly. And if you're seeing them
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drinklnt.com/modernwisdom. That's
drinklnt.com/modern
wisdom. Moving on to sort of thinking
about happiness. Obviously a topic of
yours that's
a it's honestly the one that I feel
least qualified to talk about. Is it
like a guy that's got long arms teaching
you how to bench press or a dude that's
really tall teaching you how to
deadlift? someone that feels like they
came from behind the eightball. Yeah. Is
you're you're asking a crazy person
about their thoughts. So, just thought
it through. Is happiness still more
about peace than it is about
joy? It's just one of those overloaded
words that means different things to
different people. So, I'm not even sure
we're communicating the same language.
But
uh what is
happiness? I think it's just basically
being okay with where you are.
Not wanting
not wanting things to be different than
the way they are. Not having the sense
that anything is missing in this moment.
Needing something to change. Your
current positive situation being
contingent on an adjustment on getting
something from the outside world.
Ironically, I think most people, if you
were to ask them when they were happiest
for a sustained period of time, not for
a brief moment, because pleasure can
override happiness and create kind of
this illusion of happiness. But if you
ask people when they were happy for a
sustained period of time, they were
probably doing some variation of
nothing.
That's interesting because in the chase
is this sort of lack, this contingency.
That's right. But then you get bored. If
you just sit around all the time, you
get bored. So you want adventure, you
want surprise. Like there's a funny
thought experiment of the bliss machine
right? Which is suppose I could drill a
hole in your head and put electrode in.
And they did this with monkeys and I can
put a wire in there and I can stimulate
just the right part of your brain and I
can put you in bliss and you'll just be
in bliss. Would you would you want that?
Would that be nice? For how long? Do it
and I'll tell you. Right. So most people
will say, "Well, I don't want that. I
want meaning. I don't want just bliss. I
want meaning." And you're like, "Okay
well, I'll put an electrode in there and
I'll give you meaning. How about that?"
And if you kind of run this thought
experiment long enough, I think most
people realize actually what I want is I
want surprise. I want and I want the
world to surprise me and I want to
wrestle with it in ways that are
somewhat predictable but somewhat not.
And you kind of end up back where you
started. So I I don't know if
necessarily for some people Pure
happiness is the ultimate goal. They
want to, you know, just be blissfully
happy wherever they are, whenever they
are. But I think other people, most
people would say, well, I'm here in this
world. I'm here in this life. I don't
understand it or why, but I want to be I
want to be engaged. I want to be
surprised. I want to do things. I want
to accomplish things. I want to want
things and then get them. Right? That's
kind of the whole game that we're all
playing here. Surprises are really
interesting. the sort of
unpredictability. I think total bro
science here, but I'm pretty sure that
that's kind of how dopamine works. That
things are a bit better than you
expected. That within that it means that
if you for the perennial insecure
overachievers that uh cloy for control
that really want to be able to the
schedule is perfectly done and we know
the itinerary, we know where we're going
to be at this time. you're in some ways
I guess reducing down the capacity for
surprise because everything has become
uh very contrived prescribed done in
advance laid out your ability to be
surprised actually diminishes. Yeah. If
if nothing worked out the way you
expected, if it was all serendipity and
you didn't want that, you would just be
a ball of anxiety. On the other hand, if
everything worked out as you expected
and wanted, you'd be so bored you might
as well be dead. So there's some, you
know, the the river of life kind of
flows between these two banks and enjoy
it. You say thinking about yourself is
the source of all unhappiness, but
presumably you need to work on yourself
and your weaknesses as well. So some
degree of reflection is important. And
if thinking about yourself is a source
of unhappiness, is this a price that you
need to pay? I need to sort of reflect
inward. I'm going to have to diminish
this level of happiness for a little
while and then I can use this new level.
I've got my brown belt on and I can go
out into the world as a brown belt. What
I'm specifically referring to that is if
if you're thinking about your
personality and your ego and the
character of you and uh you're obsessing
over that. That's where a lot of
depression and unhappiness sort of
lingers and and gets cultivated. Uh so
uh thinking about woe is me, this
happened to me. that happened to me. I
have this personality. I have this
issue. I deserve this. I didn't get
that. That's you're just strengthening a
little beast in there that is
insatiable. And that's where I think a
lot of unhappiness comes from. What's
the beast? It's the ego. But that word
is so overused that I kind of hate to
use the word. Um, but it's like a it's a
recurrent collection of thoughts that
are very self-obsessed and will never be
satisfied. Very concretized as well. So
they're not malleable, not particularly
flexible. So you're just adding to them
by thinking about them all the time.
You're creating narratives and stories
and identities. Um but that's different
from solving personal problems. So if
you encounter something, you learn from
something, you're reflecting upon the
learning, then you can reflect upon it
absorb it, and then just move on. But
sitting there saying, "I'm Chris. I'm
Nal. I deserve this. This happened to
me. That person wronged me. This is who
I am. This shouldn't have happened. I
need to go get revenge on this or I need
to fix that or change this." I mean that
I think is where a lot of mental illness
is is you know comes from. So it depends
if you are thinking about something to
solve a problem and get it off your
chest and get it off your mind. If it
leaves your mind clearer at the end of
it then I think it was worthwhile. If it
leaves your mind busier at the end of it
then you're probably going the wrong
direction. Is this a a justification
for detachment? Uh cultivated ignorance
uh distraction. Detachment is not a
goal. Detachment is a byproduct. It's
it's just a byproduct of just realizing
you know, what matters and what doesn't.
Uh and and just for one moment on the
self thing, I think everybody craves
thinking about something more than
themselves. If you want to be you know
happy to some extent you have to forget
about your personal problems and one way
to do that is take on other problems
bigger problems uh and that could be a
mission that could be that could be
spirituality that could be kids um it
could be caring about the planet
although I think people take that a
little far you know and then they get
kind of oppressive and and tyrannical in
support of abstract concepts but so
these can be taken too far just like
religion for example just like anything
in excess anything in excess right um
But generally the less you think about
yourself, the more you can think about a
mission or about God or about a child or
something like that. So I remember
Vinnie Himmath uh the founder of Loom
said uh I am rich and I have no idea to
do what to do with my life and you
replied God kids on mission pick at
least one. That's right. Preferably all
three. It's very liberating.
Um, yeah, thinking I think overthinking
about yourself is probably the it's it
may not be the cause of depression, but
it certainly doesn't help.
Rumination. Yeah
I I kind of had a self-induced Stockholm
syndrome from this sort of a thing cuz I
like to think about stuff and you
provide you with an endless number of
things to think about. So, you're kind
of Yeah, you have this um you're the
prisoner and the prison guard at the
same time. And I had Abigail Shrier on
the show. She was wrote this book called
Bad Therapy, sort of pushing back
against therapy culture for kids
specifically for kids. But there was a
blast radius that covered pretty much
everything, including kind of CBT. I'm
like, we're getting perilously close to
some really evidence-based stuff here.
But the more that I've thought about it
and the more that I've looked at the
evidence, there is like basically a
direct correlation between how much you
think about yourself and how miserable
you are. Therapy is great if it lets you
vent and it solves a thing and then x
session later you're done. You're clear.
But if you're just looping on the same
thing forever, then it's actually the
opposite. You're bathing in it. You're
indulging in it. Yeah.
Yeah. How have your become happy
techniques developed over time?
Yeah, I used to have a lot of them. Uh
now I kind of try not to have any
because I think the techniques
themselves are kind of a struggle. It's
sort of like bidding for status implies
you're low status. It reveals that
you're low status. So, someone who's
basically trying to show off uh comes
across as low status. The same way
someone who's trying to be happy is sort
of saying I'm unhappy and creating that
frame. So it's better just to not even
think in terms of you position yourself
as being in lack in order to attain.
Yeah. I don't even think in terms of
happiness unhappiness anymore. I just
kind of just do my thing. Again another
question that's similar to a bunch of
them. Do you think you could have got
there had you have not done the
procedural systematic sort of step by
step by step this is what it is and then
come out the other side. I don't think
there are any formulas. I think it's
unique to each person. It's like asking
a successful person how did you become
successful? Each one of them will give
you a different story. uh you can't
follow anyone else's path and most of
them are even probably telling you some
narratized version of it that isn't
quite true. I mean that's something that
I continually realize especially as I
get to spend more time around people
that are successful and you hear um it's
very important to prioritize work life
balance right that's one of the most
common things that people who have
attained success say that's not my
experience but if you look at you
shouldn't be asking somebody who is
successful what they do to continue
their success now you should be asking
them what did they do to attain their
success when they are where you were and
the people who are really
extraordinarily successful didn't sit
around watching success
porn. They just went and did it. They
just had they had such an overwhelming
desire to be successful at the thing
that they were doing that they just went
and did that thing. They didn't have
time to study and learn and listen and
they just did it. It's the overwhelming
desire that's the most important and the
focus that comes from that.
that tweet of yours that was uh people
who are good at making wealth or people
who are good at attaining wealth don't
need to teach anybody else how to do it.
Yeah. You don't need mentors, you need
action. That was one of them. Another
one is you know the uh the people who
actually know how to make money don't
need to sell you a course on it. There
is um yeah there's lots of variations on
it. But I if you don't Another one is if
you don't lie awake at night thinking
about it, you don't want it badly
enough.
Yeah. I think you I've heard you talk
before about how um sort of unclosed
loops problems that you're working on
can cause you to be sleepless and uh
this I'm not a good sleeper. Tell me
about that. Oh, I mean my eight sleep
hates me. It's always on me. I failed at
sleeping again. Brian Johnson thinks I'm
going to die early. He's probably right.
But I How much do you reckon you sleep a
night? Have you got any idea? Oh, it's
so random. Some nights I'll sleep 8
hours. Some nights I'll sleep 4 hours.
But it's literally just random. Are you
bothered about that? You trying to
optimize? Are you your sleep coach
teaching you how to I don't fogg myself
over things? Uh if I want to sleep, I'll
sleep. If I don't want to sleep, I don't
sleep. It's not a I don't think I'm
doing anything right or wrong. You don't
label it good night, bad night. No, I
work out every day because I think it
gives me more energy and I've gotten
into a good habit with it. Maybe I'll do
the same thing with sleep. Maybe I'll
develop a good habit, but I'm not going
to beat myself up over it. there'll come
a point where it's important to me and
when it's important to me I'll just do
it you know most of like for example you
look at people with addictions right
overeating or smoking or whatever they
can kind of go through all the different
methods but it's half-hearted and then
one day they're like oh [ __ ] I've got
lung cancer my dad has lung cancer and
they drop it immediately
so I think a lot a lot of change is more
about desire and understanding than it
is about uh forcing yourself or trying
to domesticate yourself it's efficiency
again, I guess, you know, aligning the
thing that you want to do with the way
that you feel about what it is that you
want to do. Yeah. It's not it's not
getting caught up in a in a half desire
or a mimemetic desire. It's really
just being aware of what it is that you
actually want at this point in time. And
when you want something, then you will
act on it with maximal capability. And
that's the time to act on it. In the
meantime, just doing it because other
people tell you you should do it or
society tells you you should do it or
you feel slightly guilty about it. These
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checkout. You mentioned anxiety before.
Uh, imagine how effective you'd be if
you weren't anxious all the time is is
one of yours. Anxiety is the emotion
dour of the 21st century. And lots of
driven people, very anxious, very
paranoid. That's what's caused them to
be affected. It pays so much attention
detail oriented, not letting things go.
Staying up at night thinking about it.
That's the paranoia coming in. What have
you come to learn about anxiety and
dealing with it? So anxiety and stress
are interesting. They're very related.
Stress is when uh like if you look at an
iron beam, when an iron beam is under
stress, it's because it's being bent in
two different directions at the same
time. So when your mind is under stress
it's because it has two conflicting
desires at once. So for example, you
know, you you want to be liked, but you
want to do something selfish and you
can't reconcile the two and so you're
under stress. Uh you want to do
something for somebody else, you want to
do something for yourself, right? These
are examp you you don't want to go to
work but you want to make money so
you're under stress, right? So you have
two conflicting desires and I think one
of the ways to get through stress is to
acknowledge that oh I actually have two
conflicting desires and either I need to
resolve it. I need to pick one and then
be okay losing the other or I will
decide later. But at least just being
aware of why your stress can help
alleviate a lot of stress. And then
anxiety, I think, is sort of this
pervasive unidentifiable stress where
you're just kind of stressed out all the
time and you're not even sure why and
you can't even identify the underlying
problem. I think the reason for that is
because you you have so many uh
unresolved problems, unresolved stress
points that have piled up in your life
that you can no longer identify what the
problems are. And there's this mountain
of garbage in your mind and a little bit
of it poking out the top like an iceberg
and that's anxiety. But underneath
there's a lot of unresolved things. And
so you just need to kind of go through
very carefully every time you're
anxious. Like, okay, why am I anxious
this time? I don't know why. Oh, well
let me sit here and just think about it.
Let me let me write down what the
possible causes could be. Let me
meditate on it. Let me journal. Let me
talk to a therapist. Let me talk to my
friends. Let me just kind of see like
when does that stress go away? If you
can kind of identify and unravel and
resolve these issues, then I think that
helps get rid of anxiety. uh a lot of
the anxiety is piled up because we move
through life too quickly not observing
our own reactions to things. We don't
resolve them. So this goes counter to
what I was saying earlier about not
reflecting too much on things. But you
reflect on the problems to observe them
and solve them. You don't reflect on
them to feel better about yourself to
indulge them. Well, if if if you're
doing it to just feel better about
yourself, that could be strengthening
your personality and your ego and could
be creating a more fragile personality.
Um, you know, one one big anxiety
resolver for me is just ruminating on
death. I think that's a good one. You're
going to die. It's all going to zero.
You cannot take anything with you. And I
know this is trit. And I know the the we
don't spend enough time thinking about
the big questions. We kind of give up on
them when we're very, very young. You
know, a little child might ask the big
questions like, why are we here? What's
the meaning of life? What is this all
about? You know, is there Santa Claus?
Is there God? But then as adults, we're
taught not to think about these things
or we've given up on them. But I think
the big questions are the big questions
for good reasons. And uh if you can keep
the idea in front of you at all times
that you're going to die and that
everything goes literally to
zero. What's there to stress about?
Yeah. For better or worse, life is very
short. How should people deal with its
briefness?
Enjoy
it. Make the best of it. You know, it's
it's even briefer than that. Each moment
just disappears. it's gone. There's only
a present moment and it's gone
instantly. So if you're not if you're
not there for it, if you're stressed out
or you're anxious or you're thinking
about something else, you missed it. So
you're any moment when you're not in
that moment, you are dead to that
moment. You might as well be dead
because your mind is off doing something
else or you know living in some imagined
reality that is just a very poor
substitute for the actual reality. So
one of my recent realizations was what
is wasted time? What is a what is a
waste of time? So I don't like to waste
time but what is wasted time? And
everything is wasted time in a sense
because nothing matters in the ultimate.
Uh but in each moment the thing matters.
In each moment it's the only thing that
matters. Actually the what's happening
in front of you is literally has all the
meaning in the world. And so what
matters is just being present for the
thing. So if you're doing something that
you want to do and you're fully there
for it, then it's not wasted time. If
you don't want to do it and your mind is
running away from it and you're reacting
against it and you're wishing you were
somewhere else and you're thinking about
some other thing or you're anticipating
some future thing or regretting some
past thing or being fearful of
something, then that's wasted time.
That's time that's being wasted when
you're not actually present for the
reality in front of you. So my
definition of wasted time, yes I do want
some material things in life and I you
know there there are things that have
more value than others within this life
but this life is very short and bounded.
So the true wasted time is a time that
you're not present for when you are not
there for it. When you're not doing the
thing you want to do to the best of your
capability such that you're immersed in
it. If you're not immersed in this
moment then you're wasting your time.
People get worried about dying and no
longer being here, but they don't
realize that so much of their life is
spent not being here in any case. That's
right. But and I think people crave
being here for it. And and and when
you're here for it, you're actually not
thinking about yourself. You are more
immersed in the thing, the the moment
the task at hand. We don't want peace of
mind. We want peace for our mind. That's
right. Yeah. You don't peace. The mind
is what can eat you alive if you let it.
And there's more to you than the mind.
How so?
Well, I mean the
very I don't want to disassemble the
body so to speak, right? Because please
go on. Yeah. At the end of the day, like
everything arises within your
consciousness, right? You you got
nowhere else to experience it. Sorry.
You've got nowhere else to experience.
Nowhere else to experience it. And that
consciousness is uh relatively static in
the sense that it's been exactly the
same from the moment you were born to
the moment you die. And everything that
you experience from your body, from your
mind to the world to to everything is
within that consciousness. Uh and that
thing that base layer of being and this
is what the Buddhists will tell you is
the real thing. Everything that comes
and goes in the middle including your
mind, including your body is unreal. And
trying to find stability in those
transient things is is your castle that
you're building on sand that's going to
crumble. Life is going to play out the
way it's going to play out. There will
be some good and some bad. Most of it is
actually just up to your interpretation.
You're born, you have a set of sensory
experiences, and then you die. How you
choose to interpret those experiences is
up to you. And different people
interpret them in different ways. Yeah.
The old line about two people walking
down the street. They're having the
exact same experience. One is h
experience. One is happy, one is sad
right? It's a narrative in their heads.
It's how they choose to interpret. Um
so I think when I said that, it was a
long time ago. I was talking more about
having positive interpretations and
negative interpretations. But these
days, I think it's better just not to
have any interpretations and to just
allow things to
be. You're still going to have
interpretations. You can't stop it. Uh
and nor should you try. But even that
having an interpretation is just a thing
you can leave alone.
Yeah. I really want to try and just dig
in a little more to the best way to
remind people that they should value
their time. just how brief it is that
the time that you spend ruminating
being distracted, fears of the past
regrets.
Well, I don't want to tell anybody how
to live their life. I would just say
that to the extent that you want to
improve your quality of life, the uh the
easiest and best way to do that is to
observe your own mind and your own
thoughts and and be a little not not
necessarily critical but um be observant
of yourself more objectively and then
you'll kind of realize your own loops
and patterns. It takes time. It's not
it's not overnight. It's not
instantaneous. So you mean letting go is
not a one-time event. Yeah. And and
there's letting go is not necessarily
even the right answer. Like yes, if
you're trying to be an enlightened being
and you know you want to live like a god
and everything's going to be perfect and
be a Buddha, sure you can let go. But uh
I think in practice it's actually quite
hard to do.
Um, I think I would say that it's uh
you're going to find a lot of
fulfillment out of life by just doing
what you want to do and genuinely
exploring what it is that you want
rather than doing what other people
expect you to do or society expects you
to do or what you might just think
should be done by default. Um, you know
I think most older successful people
will tell you that their life was best
when they lived it unapologetically on
their own terms.
Be selfish. Holistic selfishness. We can
clip that little selfish. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Keep running back. Bad guy. Great.
I I had this insight or a question, I
guess. How much do you think that we
should trust the voice in our heads?
Because half of wisdom suggests to rely
on your sort of bottomup intuition and
then half of it has to be sort of top
down rational as possible. How do you
navigate the tension between head and
gut in this way?
I think the gut is what decides. Um the
head is kind of what rationalizes it
afterwards. The gut is the ultimate
decision maker. If it doesn't and and
what is the gut? The gut is refined
judgment. It's taste aggregate
aggregated and it could be aggregated
through evolution uh and it's in your
genes and your DNA or it could be
aggregated through your experiences and
what you've thought through. The mind is
good at solving new problems and uh new
problems in the external world that have
defi defined edges you know beginnings
and ends and and
objectives. What the mind is actually
really bad at is making hard decisions.
So when you have a hard decision to make
I find it's better to yes you ruminate
on it. You think through all the pros
and cons but then you sleep on it. You
wait a couple of days. You wait until
the gut answer appears with conviction
and it feels right. And when you're
younger, it takes longer because you
just don't have as much experience. And
when you're older, uh, it can happen
much faster, which is why, you know, and
you have less time to Yeah. And old
people just more set in their ways as a
consequence, right? They know what they
want. They know what they don't want.
Um, so it takes time to develop your gut
instinct and judgment. But once you've
developed them, don't trust anything
else because you can't go against your
gut. It'll bite you in the end. Uh
usually in relationships that failed
you can look back and say, "Oh
actually, I knew it was going to fail
because of this reason, but I kind of
went ahead anyway because I wanted it to
be this way, right? I wanted this person
to be a different way than they are, or
I wanted to get a different thing out of
it than I thought I was going to than I
knew I was going to get, but I just
wanted it." So sometimes desire will
override your judgment and then trap.
Yeah. Wishful thinking. It traps you
into a into a pathway that chews up
time. What's that uh inside of yours? U
we think we can't change ourselves but
we can. We think we can change other
people but we can't. Exactly. I think to
add to that you can't change other
people. You can change your reaction to
them. You can change yourself but other
people only change through trauma or
their own insight on their own schedule
and never in a way that you like. Yeah.
Alanderon says that uh people do
sometimes change but rarely in
relationships and never when they're
told to. Absolutely. Yeah. The fastest
way to kind of alienate somebody is to
tell them to change. In fact, uh the
Dale Carnegie School of Public Speaking
you know, the way that operates is, uh
they get you up there and they realize
that the number one problem with public
speaking is uh that uh people are very
self-conscious and so uh people who are
practicing in the Dale Carnegie School
of Public Speaking, I don't know, I
never went through I heard this
secondhand so I could be wrong but I
like the story where they get up and
they start speaking and the people in
the audience are only allowed to
compliment them genuine compliments not
fake compliments on things that they did
well but you're not allowed to criticize
them on things that they did poorly and
eventually they kind of get through it
and they develop the self-confidence the
same way uh there's like the Michelle
Thomas school of language learning and
on that one what they do is you listen
to a teacher talking to a student
they're not teaching you you're not
expected to remember or memorize
anything you just listen to a student
stumbling over the language. It's a
better way to learn because you yourself
don't feel flustered. You're being
tested, graded. Oh, so you're not in
your own head as much. Correct. You're
not in your own head and you're just you
might even be laughing at the student or
you might be agreeing with the teacher
or vice versa or sympathizing with the
student. But because you are a passive
observer, you can be more objective
about it and you aren't threatened or
fearful and you can learn better. And
coming back to the original point of you
can't change people. If you do want to
change someone's behavior, I I think the
only effective way to do it is to
compliment them when they do something
you want. Not to positive. Yeah.
Exactly. Not to insult them or be
negative or critical when they do
something you don't want. And we can't
help it. It's obviously in our nature to
criticize. And I do it as well, but it
just reminds me that like when somebody
does something praiseworthy, don't
forget to praise them. Like definitely
go out of your way and and it'll be
genuine. It has to be genuine. It can't
be a fake thing. uh this is not, you
know, one of those uh just dropping
compliments type thing eventually that
people will see through that. They want
authenticity, but just don't forget to
praise people when they do something
praiseworthy and you'll get more of that
behavior. There was a a really famous
thread on Reddit about five questions to
ask yourself if you're uncertain about
your relationship. One of the questions
was, "Are you truly in love with your
partner or just their potential or the
idea of them?" And that's the, you know
they show such great promise. They they
look at their look at their ability for
for for change and growth. They they
they they're on the right path. The
partner matching thing is so hard. Uh
you know, when people come and ask me
like, "Oh, should I be with this
person?" Like, "Well, if you're asking
me, the answer is clearly no." Right?
Because you wouldn't have to ask if you
were with the right person or when you
ask someone like why they're uh in a
relationship with somebody and they
start reading out his or her resume
right? That's also a bad sign. What do
you mean? Oh, it's like, oh, we have so
much in common. We like to golf
together. It's like, it's not a basis
for a relationship. Or, oh, you know
she's a ballerina or, you know, he went
to Harvard or what have you. These are
resume items. That's not who the person
actually is. What's a better answer? I
just love being with this person. I just
trust them. I, you know, I I enjoy being
around them. I I I love how capable he
is. I love how kind kind she is. You
know, I love her spirit. I love his
energy.
uh the more the the more materially and
concretely definable the reasons are
you're together the worse they are. Uh
the ineffable is actually where the sort
of true love lies because real love is a
form of unity. It's a form of
connection. It's connecting spirits. Oh
you two, my consciousness meets your
consciousness. It's a the the the
underlying drive uh in love, in art, in
uh science, in uh mysticism is the
desire for unity. It's a desire for
connection. As you know, Bourhees
famously wrote, "In every human, there's
a sense that something infinite has been
lost." You know, there's a God-shaped
hole in you you're trying to fill. And
so, we're always trying to find that
connection. Love is trying to find it in
one other person and saying, "Okay
you're male, I'm female, or whatever."
And you know, whatever your
predilictions are, and now now we
connect, now we form a hole uh connected
hole. Or in mysticism it's like it's all
about okay sit down meditate and you'll
feel the whole. In science it's like oh
uh you know atoms bouncing is mechanics
but that generates heat. So
thermodynamics and motion or kinetics
are one combined theory that's a whole.
Electricity and magnetism are one thing
that's that's the whole creates that
sense of awe. Uh in art it's like I feel
an emotion I create a piece of art
around it and then you see that painting
or you see the cysteine chapel or you
read the poem and you feel that emotion.
M so again it's it's creating unity it's
creating connection and I think
everybody craves that and so when you
really love somebody it's because you
you feel a sense of wholeness by being
around them. Uh and that sense of
wholeness probably doesn't have anything
to do with what school they went to, you
know, or what career they're in. Just
sort of tying that into the life is
short, stop [ __ ] about. Uh if you're
faced with a difficult choice and you
cannot decide, the answer is no. And the
reason is modern society is full of
options. Yeah. Knowing this rationally
sounds sounds great, but having the
courage to commit to it in reality, I
think is a different task. And cutting
your losses quickly in the big three
relationships, jobs, and locations is
hard. What would you say to someone who
may cerebrally be able to agree with you
and say, "I understand." My cousin said
this about me. He said that uh he said
what I really he says what I've really
noticed about you is your ability to
walk away from situations that are just
not great enough for you or not good
enough for you. And I think that is a
characteristic that I have. I will not
accept second best outcomes in my life.
Um ultimately you will end up wherever
is acceptable to you. You will get out
of life whatever is acceptable to you.
Um, and there are certain things to me
that are very very important where I
will not settle for second best. But
then there are a lot of other things I
just don't care about because if I spend
all my time caring about those things, I
don't have the energy for the few things
that matter. And uh, so in decision-m I
have a few heristics for myself. Other
people can use their own, but mine are
if you can't decide, the answer is no.
If you're offered an opportunity, if you
have a new thing that you're saying yes
or no to that is a change from where
you're starting, the answer is by
default always no. Secondly, uh if you
have two decisions, if you have A or B
and both seem like very equal, take the
path that's more painful in the short
term, the one that's going to be painful
immediately because your brain is always
trying to avoid pain. So any pain that
is imminent, it is going to treat as
much larger than it actually is. This is
kind of like a decision-making
equivalent of Talib surgeon. Uh tell
surgeon where you want the surgeon that
doesn't look as good because he's more
likely to be a good surgeon. Yeah, it's
similar in that appearances are
deceiving because you're avoiding
conflict. You're avoiding pain. So take
the path is more painful in the short
term because your brain is creating this
illusion that the short-term pain is
greater than the long-term pain. Because
long-term yeah you you'll commit your
future self to all kinds of long-term
mana. Mñana exactly mñana. So take the
more short-term painful one. And then
finally the last one which I would
credit Kapo Gupta with uh is that you
want to take it take the choice that
will leave you more equinimous in the
long term. By quantumous he means like
more at peace more mental peace in the
long term. So whatever clears your mind
more and will have you having less
self-t talk in the future if you can
model that out that is probably the
better route to go. And then I would
focus decision-m down on the three
things that really matter because
everything else is downstream of these
these three decisions. Especially these
are early life decisions. Later in life
you have different things to optimize
for. But early in life, you're trying to
figure out who you're with, what you're
doing, and where you live. And I think
on all three of those, you want to think
you want to think pretty hard about it.
And people do some of these
unconsciously. You know, who you're with
very often it's like, well, we were in a
relationship. We stumbled along. It felt
okay. It had been enough time, so we got
married. Right? Not great reasons. Maybe
not terrible reasons either. I mean
people who overthink these things
sometimes don't get the right answer.
But maybe here, if you're the kind of
person that's not going to settle for
second best, you iterate. You iterate on
a closed time frame so you don't run out
the clock. And then you decide um on
what you do. You try a whole bunch of
different things until you find the one
that feels like play to you, looks like
work to others. You can't lose at it. Um
get some leverage. try to find some
practical application of it and go into
that. And then where you live, uh where
you live is really important. I don't
think people spend enough time on that
one. I think people pick cities randomly
based on where I went to school or where
my family happened to be or where uh my
friend was or I visited one weekend. I
really liked it. You really want to
think it through because where you live
really constrains and defines your
opportunities. Um it uh it it's going to
determine your friend circle. It's going
to determine your dating pool. It's
going to determine your job
opportunities. It's going to determine
the food and air and water quality that
you receive. Um, it's going to determine
your proximity to your family, which
might be important as you get older and
have kids. So, very, very, very
important decision. Weather, you know
quality of life. How much do you stay
inside or outside? How long are you
going to live based on that? And I think
people choose that one probably more
poorly than they put a lot less thought
into that one than the other two. I in
some ways, yeah, but also the You're so
right. How many people fall backward
into a relationship and before they know
it, we're living together, we got a dog
we got a kid, we were married and you
know, yeah. And then when you have kids
because then that's half of you and half
of them running around, you're never
going to separate yourself from that. So
once you have a child with somebody
then the most important thing in the
world to you is half that other person
whether you like them or not. Mhm. Yeah.
Uh Jeffrey Miller had a tweet a long
time ago that I always think about and
he said every parenting book in the
world could be replaced with one book on
behavioral genetics that I am a big
believer in genetics. Yes, I do think a
lot of behavior is downstream of
genetics and I think we underplay that.
We like to overplay nurture and
underplay nurture for sorry underplay
nature for societal reasons but nature
is a big deal. Um the temperament of the
person you marry is probably going to be
reflected in your child by default.
people want securely attached kid, pick
a securely attached partner. Well, the
secret to a happy relationship is two
happy people, right? So, I would say if
you want to be happy, then uh be with a
happy person. Don't think you're going
to be with someone who's unhappy and
then make them happy down the road. Or
if you're okay with them being unhappy
but there are other things you like
about them, that's fine. But this goes
back to the unhappiness with other
things. Yes. And actually we we talked a
little bit about how people do connect
successfully, you know, on spirit and
and those things, but that's maybe a
little too abstract. If you want to get
a little more practical, it could be
based on values. And values are a set of
things you won't compromise on. Values
are the tough decisions of, oh, my
parent got sick. Do they move in with us
or do we put them in a in a nursing
home? Uh, you know, the ch do we give
the children money or do we not? uh you
know do we um do we move across the
country to be closer to our family or do
we stay put where we are uh you know do
we argue about politics do we care or do
we not right the values are way more
important than checklist items uh and uh
I think if people were to align much
more on their values they would have
much more successful relationships
the emotional pain of of fearing change
I have this thing the job the location
the partner I'm going to enter or not
enter this thing. For the most part
it's leaving. I think we have this sort
of loss aversion that that we really
feel evolved loss aversion. It's just
painful separating yourself in front of
your friends. It's embarrassing. And how
how would you advise people to uh get
past themselves with the loss aversion?
That fear of change. Oh my god, am I
going to Yeah, it's the hardest thing in
the world. Uh starting over. It's back
to the zero to one thing. It's uh it's
the mountain climbing thing. You're not
going to find your path to the top of
the mountain in the first go around.
Sometimes you go up there, you get
stuck, and you come back down. And the
difference between all the successful
people and the ones who are not is the
ones who are successful want it so badly
they're willing to go back and start
over again and again whether in their
career or in their relationships or in
anything else. The more seriously you
take yourself the unhappier you're going
to be. You learned how to take yourself
less seriously. Well, fame doesn't help
on that one because that is one of the
traps of fame. People are always talking
about you. they have a certain view of
you and you start believing that and
then you take yourself seriously and
then that limits your own actions. You
can't look like a fool anymore. Um you
can't do new things anymore. You know
tomorrow I announce I'm a break dancer
right? That's going to be met with a lot
of scorn and ridicule. But what if I
want to be back? I'd back I'd back you
if you want to make that. Yeah. The
truth is if I want to be a break dancer
I'd be break dancing. But uh you know
like I'm starting a new company 0ero to
one again from scratch. Let's do it you
know one more time. uh and not just
going and raising a big VC fund or
retiring or what have you, but that's
because I want to build the product. I
want to see it exist. So, I think that
you constantly just have to force
yourself. You have to remind yourself.
Um, look, deep down you're still the
same Chris you were when you were 9
years old. Deep down, you're still a
kid. Uh, you know, you're still curious
about the world. You're still have a lot
of the same predilictions and desires
and wants. You've got a nice veneer on
it. But one of the nice things when you
have kids is you realize how much closer
they are to you in personality and
knowledge and knowhow. Like I look at my
son who's uh you know he's eight and uh
I just noticed like wow he's probably
has 60 to 80% of my knowledge and
development wisdom and he has a lot more
freedom and he has a lot more
spontaneity. In some ways he's smarter
and there's not a big gap here left to
close. this kid's going to be, you know
done very soon. It caught up to me. And
so to the extent that I think I know
better or that I'm somewhere or that I'm
someone, it's it's just an illusion.
It's is it's just a belief. What's the
lineage between that and taking yourself
too seriously?
I shouldn't take myself too seriously
because there's nothing here to take
that seriously. And if I take myself too
seriously, then I'm going to get
trapped. I'm going to get I'm going to
circumscribe myself again into a limited
set of behaviors and outcomes that keep
me from being free, keep me from being
spontaneous, keep me from being happy.
Um
so it it just goes back to the, you
know, don't think about yourself too
much. There's a special type of pain in
realizing that the advice that you need
to hear right now is something that
almost always you learned a long time
ago and that you know you're basically
sort of the same person you were as you
were nine. You know a lot of the time
people ask questions like um what advice
do you wish that you would give yourself
10 years ago? People ask themselves that
question
almost invariably the advice that you
would give yourself 10 years ago is
still the advice that you need to hear
today. Absolutely. That's why I did that
exercise of thinking back, you know, 10
years, 20 years, 30 years ago. What
advice would I give myself? For me, it's
just be less
emotional. Don't take don't take
everything so seriously. Do the same
things, but do them without all the
emotional turbulence.
And so, that's the advice I'm giving
myself going forward. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's funny how we need that
distance to be able to be a little bit
more objective, to have a little bit
more perspective. And it's almost a
little bit of a trick, right? Because
typically when you do that you say what
would you tell a friend that was going
through this right and then you try and
turn the advice to the friend around
onto yourself but you always think well
I'm not the friend you go okay you 10
years ago there's enough distance in
that you go oh I actually am still that
person there's just a single line
between that and and related to this
story is I think understanding is way
more important than discipline now Jaco
would have a fit but you know on
physical things discipline is important
if I want To build a good body, I got to
work out on a regular basis. But on
mental things, I think understanding is
way more important. Once you see the
truth of something, you cannot unsee it.
All of us have had experiences where
we've seen a behavior in a person and
then it just changes what we think about
that person. We no longer want to be
friends with them or we deeply respect
them if it was, you know, really good
behavior that maybe was observed
unintentionally.
Um, so when we when we really do see
something clearly, it changes our
behavior immediately and that is far
more efficient than trying to change
your behavior through repetition. Could
you give me an example?
Um, if you were, let's say that, you
know, you have a friend and then that
person turns out to be a thief, you see
that person stealing something, you're
done with them.
uh if you are uh you know the the
smoking lung cancer example is a good
one right someone close to you or
anytime someone close to you dies or you
even hear about someone dying you hear
about someone dying what's the first
thing you do the first thing assuming
that you weren't that close to them
obviously you're close to them it's
different but if you weren't that close
to them but you know you hear about
someone in your extended social dying
you immediately start trying to
different distinguish yourself from them
you're like oh well how old was this
person you know did they have were they
a smoker you know did they have an issue
do I have that issue, right? You
immediately start comparing and what
what you're what you're doing there is
you're sort of just trying to see if
there's an overlap here. But if you see
the truth in something, if if you're
like, "Oh my god, this person was the
same age as me and they died." And
that's starting to happen at my age
where I'm starting to hear about, you
know, extended circle
people just reminds you time is really
short. There's a truth there. There's a
truth there that you cannot action.
There's a truth there that you cannot
unsee. Uh, you know, or for example, I
think were you into bodybuilding or
something back when? I don't know. Like
bro lifting stuff, be less of a skinny
[ __ ] Yeah. Right. But there probably
was a point where you were uh being
really aggro in the gym and you injured
yourself many times, right? And each one
of those was an deep understanding of
don't go beyond this point, right? There
was a truth there. So again, when you
when you see these things in such a way
that you can't unsee them, that changes
your behavior instantly. And I would
argue that that introspection to find
those truths is actually very useful. Is
that a justification for more
experimentation
exploration, experience in life, sort of
trying to find serendipity because all
of these experiences are going to teach
you a inescapable lesson.
You're going to do what you're going to
do. I mean, your level of exploration, I
think, is sort of up to you. But life is
always throwing truth back at you. Uh
it's about whether you choose to see it
whether you choose to acknowledge it.
Uh, even if it's painful. Truth is often
painful, right? If it wasn't, we'd all
be seeing truth all the time. Reality is
always reflecting truth. That's all it
is. Why would you not have accessed it
already? Exactly. Uh, you know, all the
all the philosophy that's out there, for
example, uh, it's almost trit. Like most
people they look at philosophy like
until they discover it for themselves
and because because wisdom is the set of
things that that cannot be transmitted.
If they could be transmitted, you know
we'd read the same five philosophy books
and we'd all be done. We'd all be wise.
You have to learn it for yourself. It
has to be rediscovered for yourself in
your own context. You have to have
specific experiences that then allow you
to generalize and see the truth in those
things in such a way that you're not
going to unsee them. But each person is
going to see them in a different way. I
can tell you that Socrates story and
it's not going to resonate until there's
something that other people desire that
you realize you yourself don't want. And
the moment that happens, then you'll see
the truth in the general statement. I
want to just read you a twominute essay
that I wrote uh a couple of weeks ago.
So, it's called unteable lessons. Okay.
I've been thinking about a special
category of lesson, one which you cannot
discover without experiencing it
firsthand. There is a certain subset of
advice that for some reason we all
refuse to learn through instruction.
These are unteachable lessons. No matter
how arduous or costly or effortful it is
going to be for us to find out
ourselves, we prefer to disregard the
mountains of warnings from our elders
songs literature historical
catastrophes, public scandals, and
instead think some version of, "Yeah
that might be true for them, but not for
me." We decide to learn the hard lessons
the hard way over and over again.
Unfortunately, they all seem to be the
big things, too. It's never new insights
about how to put up level shelves or
charmingly introduce yourself at a
cocktail party. Instead, we spend most
of our lives learning firsthand the most
important lessons that the previous
generations already warned us about.
Things like money won't make you happy.
Fame won't fix your self worth. You
don't love that pretty girl. She's just
hot and difficult to get. Nothing is as
important as you think it is when you're
thinking about it. You will regret
working too much. Worrying is not
improving your performance. All your
fears are a waste of time. You should
see your parents more. You'll be fine
after the breakup and will be grateful
that you did it. It's perfectly okay to
cut toxic people out of your life. And
even reading this list back, I'm rolling
my eyes at how [ __ ] trite it is.
These are all basic [ __ ] obvious
insights that everybody has heard
before. But if they're so basic, why
does everyone so reliably fall prey to
them throughout our lives? And if
they're so obvious, why do people who
have recently become famous or wealthy
or lost a parent or gone through a
breakup start to proclaim these facts
with the renewed grandio ceremony of
someone who's just gone through
religious revelation? It's also a very
contentious list of points to say on the
internet. If you interview a billionaire
who says that all of his money didn't
make him happy, or a movie star who said
that her fame felt like a prison, the
internet will tear them apart for being
ungrateful and out of touch. So, not
only do we refuse to learn these
lessons, we even refuse to hear the
message from those warning us about
them. And even more than that, I think
for every one of these, if I consider a
bit deeper, I can recall a time
including right now, where I convinced
myself that I am the exception to the
rule. That my particular mental makeup
or life situation or historical wounds
or dreams for the future render me
immune to these lessons being
applicable. No, no, no. My inner
landscape would be solved by skirting
around the most well-known wisdom of the
ages. No, no, no. I can thread this
needle properly. Watch me dance through
the minefield and avoid all of the trip
wires that everyone else kicks. And then
you kick one. And you share a knowing
luck, the kind that can only occur
between two people who have been hurt in
the exact same way. And a voice in the
back of your mind will say, "I told you
so." That's unable. It's a good essay. I
I think one of the reasons why these
lessons are unteachable is because uh
they're too broad. They have to be
applied in context. A number of the ones
that you laid out contradict each other.
Like spend more time with your parents
and you know don't work so hard but you
know at the same time you do want to be
successful, right? I think I think a lot
of these lessons come from down on high
from as you said like the famous movie
star or the billionaire saying oh you
don't need to be happy. It's like well
okay then give it up [ __ ] right? Uh
so in reality I think many of these
contradict each other and they it's like
if you went to school and you just
studied philosophy for four years you
would not know how to live life because
you wouldn't know which philosophical
doctrine to apply in which circumstance.
Uh you have to actually live life go
through all of the issues to figure out
what it is that you want. What's the
context in which some of these things
apply and some of them don't. Um, yes
you want to visit your parents more
often, but you don't want to live with
your parents and you don't want to
necessarily see them every day or every
weekend depending on the parent. You
might not get along with one of them.
So, I think it is highly contextual. Um
that said, I I I would argue that once
you figure it out for yourself, you can
kind of carve these variations on these
maxims that apply to you and uh then
you'll have a specific experience that
helps you remember it and actually
execute on it. And you can also phrase
it in a way where it's not trit anymore.
So like Yeah. So so a lot of my maxims
and notes to self are carved in a way
that they're modernized. They're saying
something true which might be trit if I
didn't say it in a new way or in an
interesting way that is more relevant to
me today. There was a Nobel Prize winner
who said something to the effect of uh
everything worth saying may have been
said before but given that nobody was
listening it must be said again. Yeah.
It has to be said again has to be
recontextualized for the modern age.
things do change, technology changes
things culture changes, people change.
on that. I've heard you say uh you talk
about the difference between seeming
wise and being wise that uh you tried to
appear smart as a kid uh by sort of do
wrote memorization masquerading as
insight and wisdom and uh I I certainly
feel that you know a lot of the show for
me I think has been was and still is a
redemption arc from this you know decade
of my life where I completely suppressed
any intellectual curiosity. It's like
okay, I'll be a professional party boy
for 10 years, stand on the front door of
a nightclub and give out VIP wristbands
and have access to all of the pretty
girls or, you know, the cool parties or
whatever it might be. Seems like it
worked out. Okay, it did in some ways. I
mean, isn't that fun? It's it it was
look, it was a good way to spend my
20ies, but to sort of come back above
put your head above water, two degrees
one of which was a masters, and then
this like just shut down any of that
learn I mean, I I did that while I was
at uni. While I was at uni, I was
running the events. So, it's actually a
decade and a half. And uh I think there
was a big redemption arc within this
show. And I I constantly have to kind
of wipe the slime off me of this sense
that I need to prove myself. And so much
of it, this why it really resonates with
me. Um when you're memorizing things
that indicates that you don't understand
them or that sort of yeah, wrote
memorization and regurgitation
masquerading as wisdom. Um because
people use fluency as a proxy for
truthfulness and insight. They use the
complexity of your language and your
communication. Yeah. There's a lot of
jargon out there. I think it's it's it's
the mark of a charlatan to explain a
simple thing in a complex way. And so
when you see people using very
complicated language to explain simple
things, they're either trying to impress
you and offiscate or they don't
understand it themselves. Well, there's
an allure in that though. You know, this
was one of the things I had to do when I
went to therapy. It's kind of an
interesting I think I've talked about
this before. Um, I needed to turn off
podcast Chris when I stepped into
therapy because most of the time that I
spend one-on-one in a deep conversation
that's undistracted throughout the week.
I trained myself over, you know, when I
started doing it 700 episodes now, 900
whatever. Uh, and I I knew what I could
do to say to this therapist some, you
know, to just sort of veer off a little
and create some nice story, put a bow on
it, push it across the table, and watch
your eyes light up a little bit, like a
little grin or a self-deprecating joke
or whatever. I'm like, you're not here.
You're you're performing. You're doing
this. You're doing the Chris Williamson
thing with the sort of jazz hands. So, I
have my own version. Okay, tell me.
Okay, so you have podcast Chris. I have
podcast guest Naval. Precisely. So very
often I'll uh think of something. I'll
have some what I think is an insight and
I want to tweet it or write it down, but
in my mind I'm talking about on a
podcast. That's kind of how my mind
registers it. And for a while I thought
this was a bad thing and I tried to
eradicate podcastal and then I just
realized that's just how it comes out.
So I might as well just be okay with it.
Now do you know the reason I'm on this
podcast? No. You know, I haven't done a
proper formal interview straight up top
whatever 10 20 podcasts in a long time.
Since Rogan, maybe. Probably since
Rogan. Yep. Yeah, it went out at the
top, right? That was the theory. Yeah.
Well, it's still at the top. Yeah. Yeah
I know. And and then, you know, I've
done some stuff with Tim Tim Ferrris, a
good friend, but that's been more
co-hosting. I haven't been a guest. Um
and then I did one or two random things
where I just stumbled into a thing where
I, you know, there was a reason, but it
wasn't like this. And I reached out to
you for this one, right? I have lots of
people reaching out to me for podcasts.
I do not answer them. I reached out to
you. And the reason is a really funny
one. It's because when I am playing
podcast in the vault in my head, for
some reason, you're on the other side.
And I don't know why. I literally don't
know why. It's not like I've even seen
many of your podcasts. I think I've seen
some snippets here and there, but for
some reason, you were the guy in the
podcast in podcast. And so, I was like
I might as well just do it. So, I
reached out to you. I wonder if this
will close that loop or further entrench
it. I wonder if you've made it way worse
now and you're just gonna have Well
first off, it was a dream and now it's
reality plus a dream and I can't get
away from him. Yeah, there are enough
people that I turned down where I said
I'm just not doing podcasts. I feel bad
about that. I got to go back and do
those podcasts. But I probably wear out
my luck. I have nothing new to talk
about. So, I don't know what I'm going
to say. Well, I appreciate you. You said
on Rogan and this was something, you
know, to kind of pay it back to you. Uh
I had a a fiveheaded Mount Rushmore of
guests before I started this show and it
was Jordan Peterson, Sam Harris
Alanderon from the School of Life, you
and Rogan, and that was my uh hydra of
Mount Rushmore. And uh I knew I think
someone had asked you at some point
maybe it was a tweet or something after
Rogan or maybe even said it on Rogan
where you said, uh, I don't like to say
the same thing twice, at least not in
the same way. I don't like sequels.
Yeah. Yeah. And I really really
respected that. You know, that was 2019.
You said it was uh eight or nine years
ago. It wasn't as long ago as you. I
have a terrible memory. Yeah. Yeah. Um
you're right. 2019 right before co Yes.
And uh I really appreciated that because
there is
something the content game you can
continue to sort of I'm sure I'll have
said many things today that the the
audience will have already heard but
uh caring enough about having novel
insights or at least having a new
perspective on similar insights to say
oh well you know in the space of six
years since you were on Joe a lot of
these well I'm coming at them actually
the first thing I said to you today like
I'm not convinced that I actually fully
agree with that thing that I used to
say, which is cool, right? That's you
showing that the um position that you
put in the ground previously is not a
tether. It's not you being held to it
anymore. Well, I I think the reason why
I wanted to be on this is
because for some reason I have the
impression that you engage in
conversations and I like conversations.
I don't like interviews. Mhm. This is
why I was doing my last startup air
chat, which was all about conversations.
And conversations to me are more
genuine. They're more authentic. There's
a give and take. There's a back and
forth. There's a genuine curiosity. It's
not to say the other podcasters don't do
it. They absolutely do do it. But for
some reason in my mind, I had you as a
guy that I would actually have a
conversation with. And sure enough, you
just read me your essay, which I don't
think anybody else would really do
right? That implies there's a give and
take. There's a genuine curiosity. And I
think that's useful because then uh
certain inexplicit knowledge that I had
will be surfaced for myself. And I think
that's helpful. Well, you're seeing, you
know, to kind of break the fourth wall a
bit, you're seeing very much of uh some
of the gateway drug insights that you
had that you just don't get to choose.
I'm aware that you kind of have an
anti-guru sentiment in you, like a very
strong like don't listen to me. I don't
know what I'm doing. Is a trap. No, guru
is a trap. do not follow me, do not bow
to me, do not do any of the other things
to me. But, uh, if you see resonance in
another person, and I think this is what
we're all trying to find. You know
people can complain about the mountains
of content creation that happens and and
maybe rightly so. Um, but if you're able
to find someone and you see in them a
little bit of you, maybe not even much
of you, but like, oh, that bit of them
their self-esteem or the way they look
at relationships or what they want to
do, the kind of life they want or the
level of peace of mind that they want to
have or whatever it might be. If you
find in somebody else a little bit of
that, it's kind of like what you're
saying before, you can't you can no
longer be unconvinced of that and it it
steps in and becomes a part of you. And
uh yeah, you're maybe seeing reflected
back to you some you know this sort of
percolated very meandering insight from
however long ago that something's
happened and maybe in you know 5 years
time you'll be like you know that thing
that you said about the lessons and then
I don't know it's cool that's like
synthesis right it's this sort of
blending of the reason I spend a lot of
time in San Francisco is because it's a
gravitational attractor for the smartest
people in the world and despite all the
many problems the city had is mismanaged
beyond belief. Um it does just seem to
pull in the young smart creative people.
Uh not just the ones who are building
technology, but they're exploring every
facet of life and they're weird and
sometimes it's repulsive and it's
bizarre, but you talk to these people
and you just see a very intelligent
person coming at life in a completely
different way. um putting it through the
cominatorics of human DNA which are
uncountable and giving you a weird
perspective that can twist your mind
around. And to do that, you always have
to be learning. You you have you can't
be in a guru mentality. If I'm with
somebody and they're listening to every
word I say and hanging on it, that's not
interesting for me. I'm not going to
learn anything. Um, I want people who
are intelligent, who will say something
back that is a little different and I
may not agree with it, but it's going to
leave a mark. It's going to leave an
impression and it's going to leave an
impression to the extent that both that
they are correct and that I choose to
listen and I'll choose to listen if I
don't view myself as higher status or
smarter than them. The flip side of that
is I'm not really impressed by high
status people like I don't just because
the case pretty much in fact uh most of
my friends who have gone on to become
very uh famous successful the more
famous successful they've been the less
I spend time with them um partially
because they get surrounded by an army
of sickop fans which gets hard to break
through uh and because I don't want
anything from them and I don't and I
don't like that I don't like these
situations in which transactional
relationships are implied that can be a
though to people who are up that because
the higher that they climb up that
hierarchy, the fewer and fewer people
don't want anything from them. So in
that way you have an even better friend
right? But they get they get surrounded
by people who do want things from them
and are so good at pretending they don't
that it's just not worth my time to try
and break out from that group. Um so it
does get lonely at the top so to speak.
But it's also by choice because you know
it's you can problem. Yeah, you can be
your own best friend too. I am my own
best friend actually. So, I really do
enjoy spending time with myself. Yeah.
The smartest people aren't interested in
appearing smart and don't care what you
think is. Yeah. I mean, a a lot of life
is not giving a [ __ ] You know, a lot of
the best things in life come out of
that. Does this
mean sort of talking about that wrote
memorization masquerading as wisdom and
insight thing which I
think perhaps almost certainly uh
podcasts like this will have contributed
to. you know, you hear a an Alanderoton
who's, you know, like a painter with
words. Uh, very simple, very sort of
unpretentious, but if you're
intellectually curious, you see, you
only see the production of his thoughts.
You don't necessarily see the work
that's gone into the thoughts behind.
So, you confuse the presentation of them
for the insight. Does that make sense?
Of course. Yeah. A lot of my stuff is
more polished. Like one of the funny
things, yeah, one of the funny things
that uh right before this uh podcast was
I thought maybe I should go back and
read my old tweets to sort of remember
what I said and I can articulate it
well. But then I realized that's just
performance. I would just be memorizing
my whole stuff to perform. I Well
that's an extra special level of hell
that you've descended into. I wrote
memorizing me to be more mely. Bingo.
And and to live up to some expectation
or some uh famous personality that I now
have to become some straight jacket that
I have to put on. I'm having to live up
to in private the things that I prefer.
That's right. So, of course, pretty
quickly I saw through that, you know
it's nonsense and it also constrains my
time and it's just work and it I think
that's that's you know your meditation
practice at work there, that mindfulness
gap to be like, huh? Yeah, there's that
thing again in Exactly. Exactly. So
it's not about changing your thoughts.
It's not about fixing your thoughts.
It's not about changing yourself. It's
just about being observant of yourself
so that you can then it'll automatically
change. Whatever change needs to happen
will happen. you trying to change
yourself is very circular. Um the mind
trying to change the mind, the mind
doesn't like wrestling with itself. I
don't I don't think it gets you
anywhere. You've spent a lot of time
either creating wealth or thinking about
how to create wealth. What have you
learned are the best places to spend
wealth? To spend wealth. Yeah. Yeah. How
you you spend this time creating this
wealth
accumulating? How does what are the best
ways for you to put it back out? I
actually think Elon had this one figured
out, which is he plowed his own money
back into his own businesses to go and
do bigger and better things for
humanity. Um, so what I would like to
you know, you could give it to
nonprofits, but a lot of nonprofits are
grifty or it's people who didn't earn it
trying to spend it or they don't have
tight feedback loops on having a good
effect. So, one of the things I want to
do as an aside is I want to create a
little school for young physicists. But
that's that's my nonprofit. A young
physicist. Yeah, that that that's my
nonprofit thing. But uh and I've been
and I've actually uh underwritten
uh media and some physics stuff. I don't
like to talk about it. So I don't I
don't talk about my whatever so-called
philanthropy because I think that makes
it less real. That makes it more status
oriented. Makes it less philanthropic.
Yeah. Exactly. And then people look at
how charitable my charity is. And then
people also come hunting for money. So
there's all that disease. I don't
believe in giving to schools. They have
enough money. Ivy Leagues have enough
money and they don't know how to spend
it. So I think the best use of money is
I think a good business creates a
product for people that they voluntarily
buy and they get value out of. So in
that sense I think Steve Jobs and Elon
and and uh entrepreneurs like that have
created a lot of value for the world. So
one of the things I can do is I can take
my own money and I can invest it in
myself to go and build the next great
thing that I think needs to exist. And
that's basically what I'm doing right
now. I'm doing a new business. I'm
self-unding it. Um, I'm plying a lot of
money into it. I'm going to build
something that I think is beautiful
that I want to see exist. Um, I really
want to see exist. Have you spoken about
this yet or is it still dark mode? It's
so early. It's Yeah, maybe I'll show it
to you in a few months. Uh, hopefully 6
months. Um, and uh, I'm excited about it
and that's a good use of money. What
about the worst places to spend wealth?
What is the old line? If it flies
floats or fornicates. Well, very nice
way to change the final F. Very
impressive. That's the way I heard it.
Can't take credit for that. I'm pretty
sure it's Fox, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I
think that was u Maybe it was uh Felix
Dennis. Okay. Who who had that quote.
Yeah. He said, "If a flies floats or
fornicates rented I I think the last one
was a little too
it's wrong that he he didn't have a
family, didn't have kids." So, you know
he missed the big one. Um but yeah
there there are lots of bad ways to
spend money. Uh I I I believe in
investment, you know, I don't believe in
consumption. Uh yes, you can you're born
with a short housing position. You close
that out, you get yourself a nice house.
Um get yourself some help to free up
your time so you're not doing uh things
that other people can do better. Um
treat people well. You know, always
overpay and expect the best. Uh pay them
like they're the best and expect the
best. Um, but overall I think a good use
of money is to take risks and build
things and do things that other people
can't do. Align it with your own unique
talents so you can keep delivering to
the world. I'm not going to sit idle.
Uh, I'm not going to retire. That's a
that's a waste of whatever time I have
left on this earth. Um, and if I'm doing
something I enjoy, then I'm already in
perpetual retirement. Um, because work
is just a set of things you want to do
that that that you have to do that you
don't want to do. So if you want to do
it, it's not work. Um, and so there are
things that I want to do don't feel like
work. I can put money behind them and I
can use that to make instantiate them
into reality. And I don't want to say
make the world a better place cuz that's
too trit, but it's more just create a
product that I'm proud of that wouldn't
exist otherwise that other people will
get tremendous value. And it's been
enabled through wealth because you're
able to take a level of risk that you
wouldn't have been able to otherwise.
Exactly. Yeah. Wealth gives you freedom.
It gives you freedom to explore more
options. And in my case, it gives me
freedom to start businesses without
having to ask other people for
permission or to warp my vision based on
uh their desires to make a return or how
they think money should be made. Is
there anything that you'd add to the how
to get rich thread? Is there anything
where you thought [ __ ] like just one if
I could go in and edit and add one more
in or or No, there's like 10,000 things.
I could talk about that topic forever to
be honest. like that that that thread
was so short and it was so limited and
it was so like you know crafted in a
sense although I wrote it very
spontaneously um it left so much on the
cutting room floor that I could just
talk about that topic for days but it's
all contextual right business is very
very very contextual like you have to
look at the particular business and
understand what's being done and why
it's being done and how it's being done
and then you can tear it apart or you
can re and then reassemble it properly
um and I like to think that That is
actually where I have specific knowledge
and expertise. My specific knowledge
expertise is not in happiness, not in
philosophy, not Yes, my life is very
hacked to be very unique. But I don't
think that's where my specific knowledge
is. My specific knowledge is in being
able to analyze a business, especially a
technology business, and take it apart
at the seams and predict in advance what
is likely to work and what is not likely
to work. clubhouse
notwithstanding. Um because you're still
going to be wrong most of the time. It's
like playing the lottery, but you know
one or two of the tickets numbers in
advance. You only have to be right a few
times or even just once to to get the
big score. Um you know, Peter Thiel
started PayPal, but he made all his
money on Facebook, right? And now he's
done more since then, obviously. But
that was the big winner. And that's true
in any power law distribution. Number
one is going to return more than two
through n put together. Two will return
more than three through put together.
you're operating in a highly leveraged
intellectual domain. So the outcomes are
going to be nonlinear. Um so I I know a
lot about that topic, but it's highly
contextual. It makes a lot more sense if
there's a specific business in front of
me, a specific entrepreneur, and I can
take that apart and I can say, you know
so there are certain companies where
I'll say, "Oh, this is not going to work
because you, the entrepreneur, are doing
this for the wrong reasons. You're
you're doing A so you can get to B. Just
go to B." Or, "You're doing this to make
money." when really the person who's
doing this because they love the product
is going to beat you or you're raising
money from the wrong people who are in
it for the wrong reasons or your
co-founder is not in it for the right
reasons or you don't have the right kind
of co-founder or your vesting schedule
is wrong or you're starting the business
in the wrong place or you're approaching
it from this angle instead of that angle
and and of course I'll be wrong too but
I've just seen a lot of data I have my
theories around it uh and that's where I
feel very comfortable operating the
problem is when I have to talk about how
to create wealth and how to get rich is
a clickbait title deliberately. But when
I talk about how to create wealth
talking about it in the abstract is very
difficult because then you just want to
speak truth. You have to just say the
timeless stuff. You have to be right in
almost every context and so it really
limits what you can say. The lack of
specificity makes it Yeah. Correct. It's
back to philosophy. But when I if I can
get specific about it, you know, that's
when that's when the real knowledge
could be like a counselor for people.
Yeah. part of the reason why I started
doing podcasts and you know this is ego
at play so I'll admit it freely when I
was tweeting you know I kind of
pioneered philosophy Twitter if you will
or a certain kind of practical
philosophy Twitter where in 140
characters I would try to say something
true in an interesting way that was
insightful to me at the time but then
that got copied there's thousands of us
now right thousands of people spitting
it out chat GPT trying to create these
things all day long um although I like
to say I like to think that my stuff is
incompressible I'm saying it in the
tightest way possible. Um, which is kind
of a little failed poetry background.
Um, but what I realized was if you truly
have a deep understanding of something
then you can talk about it all day long.
Then you can rederive everything you
need from that understanding. No
memorization required. You can get to it
from first principles and every piece of
what you know is is like a it's like a
Lego block that just fits in and forms a
steel frame. It's solid. It's locked in
there. And so on a podcast, I can unload
much more deeply about some of these
topics. Um, so for example, we can talk
about any business you like, but it has
to be in context. It has to be real. It
has to be an actual problem. Then we can
solve it. I I just really love that
heristic of if you're having to memorize
something, it's because you don't
understand it. You don't understand it.
That's right. If you if you if you have
to memorize something, it's because you
don't understand it. And if you
understand something, you don't have to
memorize it.
Yeah. I again, you know, just to sort of
call
out a lot of what I tried to do this
redemption arc thing of if I sound
smart, that's like being smart, right?
You go, well, chat GPT has memorized the
entire internet. Good luck competing
with that. You're not going to beat it
in memorization. You're not even going
to beat a library at memorization.
You're not going to beat any 10 books in
memorization. So memorization is not the
thing. Understand the value of
memorization is going down by the day.
It's already so low. Understanding is a
thing. Being able to being able Judgment
is the thing. Taste is a thing. Um, and
understanding judgment taste these
come out of having real problems and
then solving them and then finding the
commonalities. What is philosophy?
Everyone, you live long enough, you'll
be a philosopher. Philosophy is just
when you find the hidden generalizable
truths among the specific experiences
that you've had in life and then you
know how to navigate future specific
experiences based on some heristics and
you create a philosophy around that. Any
subject pursued deeply enough will
eventually lead to philosophy. Mastery
in anything, literally anything, will
lead you to being a philosopher. You
just have to stick with it long enough
and generalize the truths back out. And
these are universal truths. It's back to
the unity and variety. You can find you
can find unity in anything if you go
deep enough. And that's why the trit
stuff unfortunately sort of keeps coming
back around. You're like, well, look
this is cliche for kind of a reason.
It's cliche for reasons. Uh, but you
know, sometimes you learn new things.
Sometimes you do figure out new things
too. Uh even even in philosophy for
example science has advanced as science
has advanced it's actually expanded our
boundaries of philosophy. Um when we
used to think that uh you know the earth
was the center of the universe you would
actually have a different philosophical
outlook than when you think the universe
is vast and we're infantestimally small.
It will give you a different
philosophical outlook. uh the same way
if you think that uh the nature is
driven by angels and demons and gods
versus if there are laws of physics that
are computable and understandable that
will lead you to a different
philosophical outlook. Uh if you think
that knowledge is something that is
passed down from above and through
generations versus something that is
created on the fly and then tested
against reality that will lead you to a
different philosophical outlook. If you
think humans are created by God as
opposed to humans evolved from some, you
know, unicellular organism, yeah, it
still doesn't solve the original
problem. Who created that? But at least
it takes you further down the down the
road. Even sim theory is an attempt at
reformulating philosophy based on what
we know about computers, even though it
kind of leads to a lot of the same
conclusions as you know, creator. But it
it it is at least philosophy that is
informed by technology and by science.
So philosophy can also invol evolve
moral philosophy evolves right uh there
was a time when every culture
practically that was a conquering
culture practice slavery now almost all
cultures abort slavery that's moral
philosophy having evolved um you know
there was even like this sounds too
ludicrous to be true and I don't know if
it fully is true but there were a a
fairly large group of doctors based on
studies who believed until the 1980s
that babies couldn't feel pain and so
even to this day I think circumcision is
done without anesthesia and because
under the theory that you know very
young children babies don't feel pain
and that's ludicrous and there was a
study that came out in the 80s that said
no no no they do feel pain it's like oh
yeah of course right so people can be
stuck in bad philosophical traps for a
long period of time so even philosophy
can make progress and uh as an example
one of the realizations that I had and
this is thanks to uh David Deutsch and
my friend James Pierce and also thinking
it through a little bit is that there
are these timeless old questions that we
run into where the answers seem like
paradoxes. So we stop thinking about
them. So an example is free will. Do you
have free will? Or does anything matter?
Is there a meaning to life?
And there and and we get stuck in them
because for example, is there a meaning
to life? Like yes, life has a meaning
because you're you're right here. You
create your own meaning. This this
moment has all the meaning you could
imagine. It's all the meaning there is.
On the other hand, you're going to die.
It all goes to zero. Heat, death. The
universe has no meaning. Right? So which
one is it? Well, the reason why it seems
paradoxical is because you're asking the
question of a human here and now at a
certain scale and a certain time and
then you're answering it from the
viewpoint of the universe over infinite
time. So, you pull the trick. You switch
the level at which you're answering the
question. And questions should be
answered at the level at which they're
asked. So, if you ask the question, is
there meaning? You, Chris, are asking
that question. Yes. Yes. To Chris, there
is meaning. There's meaning right here.
This is the meaning. you can interpret
any meaning you want onto it. Um, don't
ask the question as Chris and then
answer it as God or as the universe.
That's the trick that you're playing.
That's why it seems paradoxical. The
same way you can say, do I have free
will? People debate free will all day
long. This the question is answered at
the wrong frame. So they ask the
question is do I as an individual have
free will? Hell yeah, I have free will.
My mind body system can't predict what
I'm going to do next. The universe is
infinitely complex. I'm making a choice
in my mind and I'm doing something.
There's my free will. So answer at the
level at which you were asked. Of course
I have free will because I feel like I
have free will and I treat you like you
have free will and you treat me like I
have free will. We have free will. The
problem then is you start trying to
answer the question as if you're the
universe. You're like well on the
universal scale big bang particle
collisions. No one makes any choices.
You know how could you be any different
than the what the universe wants you to
be and it's all one block universe. So
you don't have free will. Don't answer
the question at the level at which it
wasn't asked. So if God asked the
question is there free will? No there is
no free will. the universe asks a
question, there is no free will. But if
an individual asks a question right now
then yes, there is free will. So a lot
of these paradoxes resolve themselves
philosophical paradoxes that people have
been struggling with since the beginning
of time when you just realize there
you're you're answering them at a scale
and time different than they were asked.
Speaking of updating beliefs, is there
anything that you've changed your mind
around recently?
Very recently. I mean, all the time. Uh
but are you talking about like
philosophical existential things or like
technological things? Yeah
philosophical existential things or
anything that comes to mind. If there's
anything that's front of mind where you
go, ah, yeah, that's a pretty big OS
update. Yeah, I'm less lazy fair than I
used to be on a societal level. I think
that culture and religion are good
cooperating systems for humans. And so
if you want to operate in a high trust
society, you need to have sets of rules
that people need to follow and obey so
they get along even if they're, you
know, one sizefits-all doesn't work for
everybody. Moved up a little bit from
libertarian. Yeah. I think pure
libertarians get out competed and die
right? They get overrun because they're
every man for himself. They can't
coordinate. They can't coordinate.
Exactly. Right. Um so the coordination
problems, right? Culture exists to solve
fundamental coordination problems.
Religion solves coordination problems.
Ethnicity solves coordination problems
historically. Um and when you uh break
down those coordination systems too fast
and don't replace them with anything
else, you get societal breakdown. So you
can have very malfunctioning societies.
you know, go to Japan versus go to any
western city and you can see the
difference being a a culture that's
working and a culture that's not. Um, so
I I think that that's like a a broader
set of things that I've changed my mind
on uh a fair bit. I used to be much more
lazy fair on that stuff. Let's put it
that way. Mh. Um, what else? I mean, on
child raising, I've gotten a lot looser.
You know, I'm still not like completely
less afair, but I'm much more realized
like kids are going to be kids and you
kind of let them do their thing. The
debate with them. Is it a Talib that has
the ascending levels of like anarchism
versus conservatism? Is that his
insight? Like at the local level, I'm
this. It seems like you've gone the
other way. It's like at the child level
I'm an anarchist and the societal level
I'm a conservative. No, he he was
quoting somebody else, some brothers, I
forget which ones, but he was making the
point eloquently as he often does uh
that uh at you know at at the family
local level he's a communist. At the
family level you're communist. uh at
maybe the the extended family level
you're a socialist. At the local level
you know, you're kind of a uh a democrat
and so on until at the federal level
you're a libertarian, right? So, you've
done it the other way. You're being a
libertarian with the kids and you're
being a religious conservative and
societal. No, that's that's that's a
that's a funny way of looking at it. I I
don't know if the scale is that that
simple. Um what else have I changed my
mind on? I mean, I think a modern AI is
really cool. I think it's but I think
these are natural language computers. Um
they're starting to show evidence of
kind of uh reasoning at some levels but
I don't think they do creativity. I
think modern
AI one of so just on that one of my
favorite takes is from Dwash Patel and
he says um
uh if you gave any human on the planet
0.0 0 0 0.1% of the consumption that a
LLM has. Any LLM, they would have come
up with thousands of new ideas, right?
Give me one new idea, one fundamental
new idea that's been generated. Yeah.
Like I'm big into poetry. Every poem
ever written by an LLM is garbage. I
think even their fiction writing is
terrible. Even the new GPT45, with all
due respect to Sam and Crew, uh I I
think they're terrible, terrible
writers. I find them really bad at
summarizing. They're really good at
extrapolating, you know, paperwork. um
they're very bad at actually distilling
the essence of something and what's
important. They don't have an opinions
or a point of view. But they're still
unbelievably powerful breakthroughs.
They solve search. They solve natural
language computing. They make English a
programming language. They solve
driving. They solve uh simple coding and
backup coding. They solve translation.
They solve transcription. Um they are a
fundamental breakthrough in computing.
It is a different way to program a
computer. rather than you explicitly
speak its language and write the code
and then run the data through it. You
just run enough data through it until it
figures out how to write the program.
That's huge. Um but are they are they
AGI? Not yet. And I don't see a direct
path from here to there. Um maybe we'll
have to solve a few more problems before
that happens. And I think ASI is a
fantasy. I don't think there's any such
thing as uh artificial super
intelligence where it has some kind of
intelligence that humans can't fathom.
Okay. Uh yeah, it seems like I don't
know if you're from the boss room camp
or whatever in No, I'm not an AI doomer.
I think that's such a flawed line of
reasoning. But let's say that you know
you came out of the less wrong.com like
slate style codec world and there was
this sort of lineage from computers and
AI gets more powerful more powerful more
powerful and then you end up AGI ASIS
and it seems like LLMs have been this
sort of orthogonal move from that which
are you saying you don't believe they
are a step on that it's kind of a little
bit of a traditional branch I think
Steven Wolf puts it better it's a
different form of intelligence it's like
if you see Jaguar in the jungle, it has
a different form of intelligence in your
like a plant has a form of intelligence
how it can like photosynthesize and
grow. It's a different form of
intelligence. It's not and intelligence
again like love or like happiness is
this overloaded word that means many
things to many people. But by my
definition where you know the true test
is you get what you want out of life. It
doesn't even have a life. It doesn't
even want anything. It's a different
thing. Um I do think it's unbelievably
useful. I'm glad that it exists. You
don't see it much yet in large scale
production systems replacing humans
because this tendency to hallucinate. So
you can't put it into anything mission
critical, confidently wrong one time out
of 10. Correct. And it doesn't even know
when it's wrong. Uh and maybe they'll
get that one out of 10 down to one out
of 100, but you'll kind of always want
human oversight for critical critical
things. I I always feel so bitter. It's
I'm petty sometimes. My my less
economist version of me is petty and I
always want to like teach it a lesson if
it gets something wrong. like how the
[ __ ] like no you were so confident I'm
treating it but I'm anthropomorizing
anthropology it doesn't have a point of
view and they are going to get a lot
better and they might get to the point
where the error rates are so low that
you can put them into certain bounded
problems like self-driving I think will
be solved completely uh because it's a
bounded problem cars don't you know go
like off-road and drive through houses
and stuff like that right so because and
and same way like certain kinds of
coding the creative side of coding I
think doesn't go away I think if
anything programmers get even more
leverage and more powerful And rather
than computing replacing programmers
programmers use AI to replace everybody
else. On Tesla versus Whimo, would you
bet on software or hardware for
self-driving? Yeah. So the I think
Tesla's in the stronger, longer term
position, but it's hard to argue with
what's working right now. And Whimo is
working right now. So I would not
underestimate them because there's a
learning curve that you go through when
you actually deploy something. And Whimo
is way ahead in that regard. But Tesla's
camera only approach if it works uh is a
superior. It's much more scalable and
Tesla knows how to print cars, right?
They can just mass manufacture cars. But
I think I think they'll both be around.
They'll both be fine. It's everybody
else who doesn't have a self-driving
vehicle that's screwed.
You mentioned uh kids there and you had
a tweet that said, "I'm not convinced
that declining fertility needs to be
proactively fought." I forgot that one.
You're going to have to I'm I dug deep.
Um why? Well, I mean, think back like
what was it 30 years ago, 20 years ago?
Everybody was saying overpopulation of
the earth is going to be a problem.
Malthusian ending, we're going to have
too many people. And now all of a sudden
we're going to have too few people. So
part of it is just the doomerism meme is
always alive and well, right? Or it just
gets repackaged. Yeah. We're running out
of oil. We have too much oil, right? You
know, it's like the world is cooling
the world is warming. Like there's
always something to scream about. The
world is ending. Uh there's no progress
in technology. AI is going to blow up
the world, right? So people tend to
overdo in both directions. Now, what is
the actual fertility problem, right?
Well, people are having less kids. Are
they having less kids because there's a
disease? Was there a virus? Did they
lose their fertility? The microplastics
in the testicles, right? No, it's people
are having less kids because they're
choosing to have less kids, right? Women
have gotten emancipation, independence
in the workforce, and they're making
more money. Um, people don't need kids
as insurance policies. They have less
kids. Maybe they're living hedonistic
lives. God bless them, right? They want
to have more fun. They want to have less
kids. I don't see the act of choosing to
have less kids as a problem. Okay, so
let's move one level up. Uh it's because
of retirees. It's because a large
percentage of the population is
essentially retiring at the guaranteed
age of 65 or 70 thanks social security.
And so they need other people to pay for
it. They need more workers in the
workforce. And if the workforce is
shrinking, then you have a small number
of people Exactly. who are supporting a
large number of retirees. And in
democracies, you can't take pensions
away. The voters vote you out. So they
slowly strangle the economy. So what do
you do? Then you have a bunch of
immigration and then the whole culture
changes. You end up in a low trust
society and people start fighting over
limited resources and how do you control
which immigrants come in and how do you
make sure that they're good taxpayers
after they're in and so on. So you end
up with in in kind of this trap where
the low fertility rate is upstream of
the downstream problems that are
cultural and societal.
But I'm not sure that you're going to
solve that by making people have more
kids. How are you going to meme them
into having more kids? And I'm not even
sure it's necessarily a problem because
keep in mind, you have more resources
now. You have less of a burden. Now
there's there's a flip side where every
kid is a lottery ticket and an
invention. So, there's some benefit to
having more kids, but you can't you
can't force it. I think it'll work
itself out, right? The Scott Adams has
this great law which calls the Adams law
of slowmoving disasters. When disasters
are very slowm moving like peak oil or
global warming or population collapse
and everyone can kind of see them coming
economics and society as a force solve
them because enough individual people
has incentives to go solve them. So I
don't know exactly how it gets solved
but I think it could get solved in
various ways. Uh, one example could be
um, you know, maybe people retire later.
Maybe AI and automation and robots take
care of the older people. Maybe we
figure out how to have immigrants while
still keeping a high trust society. We
kind of put more rules around
immigration that protects some of the
high trust benefits. Maybe we outsource
more things. Maybe we just, you know
have more land and housing to go around.
Believe me, if we were having too many
kids, everybody be complaining about how
there's no housing and there's no land
right? So, they'll always find something
to care about. So, I just don't view
this as like a thing that any individual
or government action is going to solve.
I think economics and incentives over
time will solve it. And I'm not even
convinced it's like that big of a
problem. Is there anything that you do
think is a it may be selfcorrecting too
which is that if there are too few kids
in society and the returns to having
kids literally might just go up. It
might just be easier to have the
incentive to now have a child because
there's so few around, they're going to
get the best job. They're going to have
opportunity resources. It's like
everyone wants to everyone's I suppose
if you could come at it from a pain side
which is you look at all of the other
people around who don't have kids. Let's
say that um pensions completely drop off
and the only way that old people are
able to survive is if their children pay
them some sort of stipend like reverse
you know send send money back up the
generations. You go okay well that's a
pretty [ __ ] good incentive. That's a
good incentive. I also think that people
have been me'd into thinking that uh
kids make your life worse and that's a
that's a pretty pretty bad what's your
experience been? Kids make your life
better in every possible way. If you
want to if you want an automatic
built-in meaning to life, have kids. Uh
and I think there are these bad psych
studies, like most psych studies
unfortunately, that say that people are
unhappy when they have kids. Yeah, it's
because you're catching in the middle of
changing a diaper and you're saying
like, "Are you glad you had kids or
not?" Or or they don't even say that.
They say, "Are you happy or not?" And
they say, "No, I'm not happy right now."
But what they don't realize is that
person has found something more
important than being happy in the
moment. They found meaning. And the
meaning comes from kids. And if you ask
parents, do you regret having kids? I
think it would be 99 to1 against, you
know, it would be, "No, I don't regret
having kids. I love having kids. I'm so
glad I had kids." It's it's incredibly
rare to meet a parent that regretted
having children. It's pretty good odds.
It's it's extremely good odds. And I
think so I think I think a lot of people
get late into life and uh you know, then
they can't admit that they didn't want
kids that that that they should have had
kids. It's kind of late in the game. Um
but you know, a lot of times you see
everybody who has a pet, right? Uh, and
they're pushing them around in a
stroller, right? What is that? That's a
sublimated desire for children. Yeah.
Uh, Malcolm Collins says that uh, having
a pet is to children is using porn is to
sex. He basically thinks that it's sort
of a surrogate. It It's definitely in
that direction. And, you know, I like
pets. I like animals. I don't but I
don't like the idea of like neutering or
spaying something and then keeping it as
a prisoner in the house and having to
train it. You know, it's just I don't
want to be responsible for that. Given
that you've been thinking more about
child rearing kids, what do you hope
that your kids learn from their
childhood?
They should just be happy and do what
they want. I don't I don't I don't have
particular goals in mind for them. I
think that's a that's another route to
unhappiness. Having That's different
though, right? Than learn versus goals.
It's not necessarily what do they want?
What what do you want them to want out
of life? Like what is it that you had
that idea around your number one job as
a parent is to provide unconditional
love to your kids. Yeah, that's it.
Right. So, I can be loved or I am loved
unconditionally. Is that one of the
things? I want my kids to feel
unconditionally loved and I want them to
have high self-esteem.
Mhm. As a consequence of that, but I
don't get to choose any All I get to
choose is my output. I can output love.
I can't choose what they feel. I can't
choose how they behave. I can't choose
what they want. I can't choose what they
turn out to be. And downstream from
that, there should be freedom. There
should be a degree of freedom that comes
from the self-esteem that comes from the
unconditionality. They should make their
own mistakes and learn their own lessons
and uh have their own desires and
fulfill them as is appropriate. Uh I
like any parent, I wouldn't want them to
be hurt. I wouldn't want them to be
unhappy. But I cannot control these
things. Uh you replied to my friend Rob
Henderson. He was talking about um how
kids fall asleep more quickly when
they're being carried and uh you said
cry it out and co-sleeping is dangerous.
What's IYI science? IY is Nim TB. He
talk about intellectual yet idiot. These
are people who are overeducated and they
deny like basic common sense. Okay. Uh
so there's a lot of that that goes on in
child rearing uh thanks to really bad
studies uh and and bad public medical
directives. So, for example, you know
uh a few uh a few parents you maybe
they're drunk or they're high or they're
just other issues and you know, they
roll over their kid when they're
sleeping, the kid suffocates or they
neglect their kid and then is that
co-sleeping having them in the bed.
Yeah. Exactly. Or or there, you know
the the modern proclamation. And so
because of that, they say, "Well, don't
co-sleep with your kids." Well, the kids
in every society through all of human
history co-slept with their parents.
Where else do you think they were
sleeping? They weren't houses in
multiple rooms. Yeah. Exactly. Put in
the other tent. We'll put It's just
nonsense. Co-sleeping has been around
since the dawn of time. So has uh
feeding kids cow milk when or goat milk
when breast milk is runs out or is not
available. Um yet we're told formula
you know, made with soy and and and corn
syrup, which was invented recently, is
somehow better than uh cow milk. And cow
milk can be dangerous for your kids and
co-sleeping is dangerous for your kids
and cry it out is the right answer. All
of that is nonsense. I mean, it's very
clear that um we raise children
throughout human history without uh
these interventions. And and to me, the
idea that like you're going to let your
kid cry it out, I get why that's done
for practical reasons so that you know
you can get some sleep and you can go to
work in the morning, but the reality is
when you let the kid cry it out, you're
letting the kid ball until it finally
gives up. I mean, the kid left by itself
to cry it out in the wild. It's going to
get it's going to get eaten, right? It's
going to get eaten by a tiger. Um, so
this kid is starting off on the wrong
foundation. The the one I mentioned
earlier about the idea that babies don't
feel pain. Like that's ludicrous, right?
Um, I've never heard that before. That's
such a wild idea. Yeah, I'm not saying
that's 100% true. I read it on the child
in the cheek quite hard. And that's an
academy. I read it on Twitter and I did
one level confirmation on it, but it's
so ludicrous that I should probably do
two or three level confirmations on it
before I talk about it. Um, but there
are definitely some people who believe
that there enough that it was a thing.
um in certain circles for a while. But I
think we just go through these, you
know, the these IYI beliefs, these
intellectual beliefs come from people
who uh take a little bit of knowledge
and extrapolate it too far. They think
we know more than we know due to recent
scientific studies and these are junk
science. These are low power studies on
uh you know on very certain contexts
that then get over applied. Behavioral
psych is very guilty of this but it's
true across a lot of science. Um, so
even with science, you have to be
skeptical. You have to look very
carefully at, you know, does it apply in
the right context or not? Is it come
from good sources? Did they run enough
highpowered studies widely accepted? And
there are a whole bunch of things you're
just not supposed to talk about. You're
not supposed to say like you don't say
like you you can you can't say anything
negative about vaccines because god
forbid what if they don't get the polio
vaccine, right? And that's part of the
reason why the recent vaccine debate
because we've taken our worship for
vaccines too far because we don't want
people to not take non-essential
vaccines. So it gets overdone. So the
same way there's this whole SIDS thing
sudden infant death syndrome, right?
It's like no, there's kids don't
suddenly mysteriously die. Like more
likely there was neglect or there was a
problem and then whoever was the
caretaker doesn't want to admit to the
problem or didn't recognize the problem
but kids don't just spontaneously die in
the crib, right? Um so they talk about
swaddling babies. You swaddle babies
you know, basically tie them up, mummify
them. Uh so you constrict them so they
die of SIDS where they roll over and
they can't get back. I mean, it's just
all this craziness around fundraising.
It's a real minefield. It's a minefield.
And and and you know, you have these
scared parents or having a kid for the
first time and they open a book and they
start reading how to raise children when
I would argue that your natural
instincts on what to do with your child
uh are actually pretty good. It It's
funny when uh my wife and I had our
first baby. I remember, you know, at the
hospital, sorry, the first one was
natural birth um at the birthing center.
We we went home. I was like, "There you
go, that's it." And we're like, what do
we do? Where's the instruction manual?
You take them home and then you relax
and you realize
actually instincts are pretty good. You
know, if the kid cries, check to see if
they clean, feed them, all that. It's
like your your basic instincts are
actually very very good. And kids
instincts are actually very very good.
They know what they want and they want
things for a reason and they can
encourage you to give it to them. Yes.
It's usually it children are not
deficient adults who can't reason. Uh
and to some extent that's true but
mostly it's not true. Mostly they have
very good reasons for what they want and
you as a parent mostly have
communication problems with them. They
can't yet communicate to you. You can't
communicate to them. They can't
communicate to you. So early on with my
kids, I tried to focus on teaching them
you know, basic explanatory theories as
opposed to having them memorize things.
That's just the most Yeah. the most nol
solution. I'll give you I'll give you a
very simple example, right? Okay. So
this is Twitter and this is this is the
how to get rich without getting lucky
thread. So the first one well a simple
one is you know how does knowledge get
created? If you follow the critical
rationalism David Deutsch philosophy
then it's by guessing and then by
testing your guesses. So whenever they
ask me something like, well, why do you
think that is? Well, how would we figure
out if that's true? Right? So that's a
basic game you can play involving them.
Involving them. But another one is that
a lot of the rules that you teach kids
have to do with hygiene, right? You must
brush your teeth, you know, cover your
mouth when you cough. Um, you know
clean up after yourself. Don't touch
that. Wash your hands after you do this.
um don't eat food off the floor, right?
But all of these are subsumed under the
germ theory of disease, right? So if you
instead go on YouTube and show them
videos of germs or if you have them look
under a microscope at anything, they're
like, "Ah, they can infer what's going
Yeah, there's creepy crawies everywhere
and I got to watch out for them." Uh and
then, you know, you can talk about how
if you look at humans, like our real
enemy are pathogens. I think a lot of
aging and disease are actually
downstream of our competition with
pathogens over time. uh to a point that
people still don't fully appreciate. Um
there's a red queen hypothesis which is
that we undergo sexual selection to mix
up our genes. And so every 20 years
every generation, mix up your genes. But
if you look at how bacteria and viruses
mutate through just random mutations
their mixup rate on their genes and
evolution rate is roughly the same as
ours. Even though they go through
thousands of generations, those 20
years, because they're not doing sexual
selection, they're doing asexual
replication, mutation, their their
evolutionary rate is roughly equivalent
to ours. So, we're in a red queen race
where we're both running at roughly the
same speed using very different
strategies. But a lot of how we're
involved is around pathogens. Like our
immune system is one of the most
expensive things to run in the body is
so much as about immune system
optimization. That's about pathogens.
junk DNA in bacteria and crisper was
discovered because in bacteria their DNA
is evolved to fight viruses and the way
it does that is by taking viral DNA and
snipping it up every time there's a
viral attack and storing it in their own
DNA so they have a copy so they can
recognize it next time it attacks and
you know and so on. Um a lot of the
population structure of species uh
determines how long their lifespans are.
So very uh so if if in a given species
there's a very high rate of infection
then you'll have these older members of
the population are carrying diseases
that will then infect the young. So it's
important for that species to get rid of
the old faster. So the higher the
disease rate in a given population, the
less long live the entire population. So
the older ones don't infect the younger
ones. That's a hypothesis and I think
it's true. It's an interesting
hypothesis. um uh homeostasis within the
human body, how we're always returning
to a given level of things like that's a
that's a fundamental part of our makeup
our temperature, pH, blood pressure, and
so on under homeostasis. But if you if
you engage in any kind of signaling like
you take a peptide for example, that's a
signaling molecule. You take a hormone
externally, the body will counteract it.
You take testosterone, the body will
counteract will downregulate its own
production very fast. Uh and the body
releases its own hormones in pulses
rather than steady state. Why is that?
Well, that's because uh bacteria and
viruses can infect your body and trick
your body. They can take it over. Like
toxoplasmosis does this, rabies does
this. They take over macroscopic
structure, structural bodies. And small
bacteria and viruses would hack our
bodies and literally take them over if
we didn't have defense mechanisms. And
one of those defense mechanisms is
homeostasis. Anytime you see something
getting out of whack, you immediately
push back really hard on it because
like, did I just get infected? Is
something trying to take me over? It's
also why hormones get released in pulses
at night rather than in steady state low
levels because uh enemy bacteria can
release toxins or the same signaling
molecules in small quantities but they
can't pulse. They can't coordinate to
pulse. So your body can coordinate to
pulse as a macroscopic object but
microscopic objects can't coordinate to
create the same pulses. Oh that's cool.
Yeah. So there's all I mean so you know
that it's coming from you. Is that why?
Correct. It's endogenous rather than
exogenous. So I never knew that. And
that's why we resist a lot of exogenous
treatments. A lot of our medical
treatments don't work. Um anyway, so
this these are there's there's a bunch
more I could go on, but I think that a
lot of uh you know, you see this in
cancers where uh a lot of uh bacteria
show up like the Epstein bar virus shows
up in a lot of cancers and um you know
now it seems like the gut microbiome
influences so many things. Basically uh
bacteria and viruses are at the top of
the food chain compared to us. Like we
are top of the well-known food chain
but bacteria and viruses eat us. Fungus
eats us. So these microscopic predators
are our natural predators. And so a lot
of aging, societal structure, hygiene
religious strictctures against pork, you
know, circumcision, all of these things.
These are all designed to resist
bacteria and viruses. So if you can
teach children this philosophy at an
early age, you shortcut all the debates.
How effective have you been at teaching
that philosophy to children? That one, I
think I've been pretty effective. I've
drilled that one at home. The one I
haven't quite gotten around to yet is
evolution. Like I'm starting to do
little bits of that, you know, like we
came from monkeys. What does that mean?
Um already got them thinking about some
of the deeper questions. I did ask my
you know young son like uh you know, can
nothing exist? I thought that was a fun
question. So I like to throw a fun like
four, three. No, no, he's he's eight.
Oh, right. An 8-year-old and a
six-year-old. So I asked them both like
"Can nothing exist?" And they had pretty
good answers, right? Um, another one we
played with the other day was like
"What is the matrix?" Okay. Uh, you
know, what is what is this? What is all
this? Um, I just find it and it's
entertaining. It's just fun to talk
about, right? To talk about these
questions with your kids. I'm not saying
that one is a good way of child raising.
It's not leading to any deeper learning
other than maybe just have them start uh
or continue to question the basic
structure of reality and not move past
it so quickly. also to take joy. You
know what's the meta lesson that's being
taught there?
Dad dad spends time asking questions to
which there are not necessarily an
answer because there is something
enjoyable in the process of learning and
trying to decipher what's happening
possibly. Also, dad tries not too hard
to teach people things. I don't want to
be I don't want to be didactic. He helps
them to arrive at it. Yeah. Correct.
Correct. Dad Dad is here to help you
solve problems when you have problems
and you constantly have problems. So if
you come to dad, dad can help explain to
you how he would solve the problem. But
most of the time they don't want that.
Most of the time they just want most of
the time they just want me to solve the
problem, right? So sometimes they have
to play it dumb. It's like why is my
Wi-Fi not working on my computer? I'm
like I don't know. Did you click on that
thing? Look, you've got like a
rebellious sovereign child. Sovereign as
they may be, but sometimes they still
need the dad to step in. So in addition
to feeling loved and having high
self-esteem, I think the most important
trait that would be nice to not rob them
of is agency. I want them to preserve
their agency. They're born naturally
agentic and willful, but a lot of child
raising can beat that out of them by
essentially domesticating them. That's
right. And I would rather have wild
animals and wolves than have
well-trained dogs because I'm not going
to be around to take care of them. Yeah.
So, they're going to have to be able to
look after themselves. Exactly. Yeah. A
friend of mine, uh, Parsa on, uh, on Air
Chat, uh, he had a great saying. He
said, uh, he wants his, uh, children to
be quick to learn and hard to kill.
[Laughter]
thought that was pretty good. Yeah, that
was cool. I remember you saying just
thinking about sort of future and
culture and stuff like that. I remember
you saying that the left had won the
culture war and now they're just driving
around shooting the survivors. Right.
After the last 6 months of change that
we've seen and sort of where we're at at
the moment, what do you think the future
of the culture war looks like? It's not
over yet. Um they definitely won earlier
rounds. They took over institutions. I
think now it's much more of a fair fight
um where you have people like Elon, you
know, kind of supporting uh so so there
there's these different forces through
history, right? Historians will argue
about this. Uh but there's a theory of
the great man of history thing where
it's like oh you have the Einsteins, you
have the Teslas, you have the um the
Jangaskhans and the Caesars, right? They
determine the flow of history. And then
there's the other uh point of view that
no there are these massive forces at
play you know demographics and geography
and so on and then the particular great
man doesn't matter they just come and go
Napoleon doesn't matter they would have
been somebody else uh the specific names
are not important and because of kind of
the leftist turn that our institutions
took in the last few uh decades they now
only subscribe to the great forces
theory of history not the great man
theory of history but I think now we're
seeing the two play out where you're
seeing you know Trump and Elon and other
individuals is rising up and saying no
we resist. Yeah, that's interesting. And
um I think that
unfortunately and so the battle between
kind of these these these collectivists
and great forces versus individuals
it's as old as humanity itself. And and
it is fundamental to the species. We are
not a completely individualistic
species. You know, no man is an island.
A single person can't do anything by
themselves. But we're also not a Borg.
We're not a beehive. We're not an ant
colony. We're not all just drones
marching along. So, which is it? We
we're somewhere in the middle. And the
human race is always kind of bouncing
between the two. We like strong leaders.
We like to be led. Um we like to
coordinate our forces and and and mass
and and do things. Uh but at the same
time, we're also all individuals and
willing to break away and willing to do
our own thing and everyone's always
fighting to be a leader and there's
always status games going on. So, u
we're there's a pendulum that's always
swinging back and forth. And in modern
economics, the way that manifests is
between sort of Marxism and capitalism
right? Marxism is like from each
according to his ability to each
according to his needs. We're all equal.
There's a millennial project. We're all
going to be equal in the end. And and
you know, don't try and stand out, but
do what's good for everybody. Um, and
there's a religious aspect to it. And
then the the capitalist individualist is
like libertarian. Every man for himself.
You just each do what you want and it'll
work out for the greater good. That's
Adam Smith. You know, the invisible hand
of the market will feed you. the baker
should bake and the butcher should
butcher and the candlestick maker should
make candlesticks and it'll all work
out. Each person does their best and
they trade and so which is it which
which which theory is correct and I
think there's always going to be a
battle between the two
and I
think the interesting thing is what's
going on there's a modern flavor to it
which changes it. The modern flavor is
that the individual is getting more
powerful because they're becoming more
leverage. So someone like an Elon Musk
can have the leverage of tens of
thousands of brilliant engineers and
producers working for him. He can have
factories of robots manufacturing
things. He can have hundreds of billions
of dollars of capital behind him and he
can project himself through media to
hundreds of millions of people. That is
more power than any individual could
have had historically. So the great men
of history are becoming greater. That
said, that same leverage is increasing
the gap between the halves and have
nots. So in the wealth game, more people
are winning overall and the average is
going up. But in the status game, there
are essentially more losers. There are
more invisible men and women who are
getting nothing out of life and have no
leverage. Relatively speaking.
Objectively speaking, they might be
better off. They still have phones and
they still have TVs and they're not
absolutist creatures though. We're
relative creatures. Correct. And so to
the extent that we're relatives
creatures, there are more losers than
winners. And in a democracy, those
people will outnumber the winners and
they will vote the winners down. Yep.
Um, and so that's the battle that kind
of goes on and the democracy has gotten
very broad. And so one of my other quips
is that um it's not the right to vote
that gives you power, it's power that
gives you the right to vote. So we've
confused the two. So what happened was
you know, voting started as a way for
people who had power to divide up the
power, not fight amongst themselves. The
winners of the revolution, the winners
of the war, the people in the House of
Lords and the House of Commons, they
divide up power amongst themselves. to
say, "Hey, we have all the money. We
have the power. We are the knights. We
have the swords. We have the warriors.
We could kill everybody, but we don't
want to just fight each other all day
long. We don't have to be Game of
Thrones forever. So, we're going to
divide up power by voting among
ourselves." But then, as society goes on
and becomes more and more peaceful, that
franchise for voting gets spread. It
gets spread to people who don't have
land, who don't have power, who may not
be able to inflict physical violence.
And then eventually, you get to the
point where everybody's voting.
Everybody's voting. and everybody was
voting for candy and fairies and you
know all the free things in life. Uh and
then eventually people start voting to
oppress each other. The 51% in every in
any domain vote to oppress the 49s, the
tyranny, the majority. But not all of
them are willing to back that up with
physical power. And so you can end up in
a situation where people who don't have
physical power are using the
institutions of the state to control the
people who do have physical power. as a
simple example taking the United States
the people who don't have guns voting to
disarm the people that do have guns
right well if the people who do have
guns get coordinated and care enough you
can't do that right so I think
eventually these societal structures are
unstable they break down and they break
down because eventually the people who
have the power and say no wait a minute
you don't get to vote you you only got
to vote because you had power and now
you don't have power and you're somehow
trying to vote all of nature all of
society all of capitalism all of human
endeavors are underpinned by physical
violence. And that is very hard truth to
swallow and hard to get away from.
Nature is read in tooth and claw. If you
don't fight, you don't survive. You
don't live, you die. And that's true of
everything alive today. And humans are
no different. So giving up physical
power and then thinking you can exercise
political power fails. Which is why
every communist revolution, which is all
about equality and kumbaya and brothers
and sisters, end up being run by a bunch
of thugs. Because if you don't have a
way to divide up the wealth based on
merit, then it's always going to be
based on power and influence. The thugs
with the guns always win in the end. So
the question is just can you keep the
thugs and the with the guns paid and
happy and successful society where
you're allocating based on merit because
if you can't then you do it based on
power. So I do think that this battle is
not over but that's because it it never
stopped. It's always been there from day
one. It will continue. Is it a battle to
not care about the news in an age of
news saturation? All of this stuff
headlines 24 hours a day, streamed
directly into your consciousness through
a device in your pocket. You know, a lot
of what we've spoken about today is
freedom. Freedom from having to think
about things or care about things that
you do not have control over or that you
shouldn't or that you don't want to. And
yet people are just like submerged up to
the bottom of their nostrils basically
drowning
in worry. So how Yeah. Is it is it a
battle to sort of stay out of the news
when you're saturated in it? Yeah. I
mean, as you're saying, the human brain
has not evolved to handle all the
world's emergencies breaking in real
time and you can't care about everything
and you'll go insane if you try. Um
doesn't mean you shouldn't care at all.
There's no should. I mean, if you want
to care, go ahead and care. I would just
say that you're probably better off only
caring about things that are local or
things that you can affect. So, if you
really care about something that's in
the news, then by all means care about
it, but make a difference. Go do
something about it. uh and make sure
that it's your overwhelming desire and
you don't have five other desires at the
same time. Um also just realize the
consequences of it. You're going to be
unhappy until that thing gets fixed and
that thing will often be out of your
control. Desire is a contract to be
unhappy until you get what you want. But
exactly for the most part that's
something that is in your life. It's
like till I lose the weight until I get
the job. It can be outside too. Yeah. If
it's until the carbon dioxide parts per
million are below this particular
number. It's like that's a that's a
tough one. Or all the people with Trump
derangement syndrome, right? He's living
rentree in their heads and driving them
insane. And I get it. I mean, there are
politicians who have definitely driven
me insane as well. Um, but it comes at a
very high cost and it's something that
is out of your control that you cannot
really influence. Um, so it's probably
good to at least be conscious of it. You
mentioned uh historians before. One of
my friends has a a question, his
equivalent of uh Peter Thiel's question
of uh what is it that you believe that
most people would disagree with? His is
what do you think is currently ignored
by the media but will be studied by
historians?
You're asking me that question right
now. What do I think is ignored by the
media but will be studied by historians?
Well I
mean the media is only focused
on very timely things, right? So, it
depends if you want to talk about timely
or timeless, right? But as a as a simple
example, if I just look at things that
maybe the next five or 10 years that are
going to make a massive difference that
people are not focused enough
on. Um, and I think within two years
this will be obvious. So, like they make
a prediction and predictions are tough
but and I have to eat it in a few years.
Yeah, I'm going have to eat eat this in
a few years. So, I'm probably wrong, but
uh two things that I pay attention to um
that I don't think uh a lot of people do
pay attention to. Well, there's a
couple. One is I think just how bad
modern medicine is. I think people just
put a lot more faith in modern medicine
than is warranted. Like our best ideas
for a lot of things are surgery, just
cutting things out, right? Uh treating
things that are extraneous like, oh, you
don't really need a gallbladder, you
don't really need an appendix or you
don't really need tonsils. Oh, that's
false. every the surplus requirement
human body is very very efficient all
those things are needed um you know so I
think I think the state of modern
medicine is still pretty bad we don't
have many good explanatory theories in
biology um we have germ theory disease
we have um evolution we have uh cell
theory we have DNA genetics um
morphogenesis embryogenesis and not much
else you know there's not much else
everything else is rules of thumb
memorization Affects B cuz affects C
affects D but we don't understand the
underlying explanation. It's all just
words pointing to words pointing to
words. So biology is still in a very
sorry state and because we are not
allowed to take risk that might kill
people um we just don't experiment
enough in biology. So a lot of
treatments are just outright banned by
large regulatory bodies. So we just
don't have the innovation. So I think
we're still in the stone age when it
comes to biology and we got a long ways
to go. Uh and I think people will look
back agass at this and I think this is
Brian Johnson's point. He's like you
know let's be more more extreme. Let's
try to live forever. It must be more
experimental and I'll start as end of
one and start experimenting on myself
and um but even there I disagree with
Brian on many things like you know
taking huge amounts of supplements. I
think we just don't know supplements
outside of their natural context like
just eat liver man right um but that's
fine and and I wouldn't be vegan either
but you know it's it's I I really
appreciate that he's experimenting he's
good naturatured about he shares
everything so we need more people like
that. Um so I think the state of biology
people will look back and say wow that
was in the dark ages. Um I think uh
another uh another thing that we'll look
back on is I think we we still continue
to underestimate how important drones
are going to be in warfare. The future
of all warfare is drones. There will be
nothing else on the battlefield. Um
because I think of the end state of
drones is autonomous bullets. Not even
guided autonomous like they're
self-directed. Uh, and so if that's the
future we're headed towards, and that's
a it is dist. Why would you have an
armed force that's there's going to be
no there's there's gonna be no aircraft
carriers, there's going to be no tanks
there's going to be no infantry men
there's just going to be autonomous
bullets. Buy autonomous bullets against
your autonomous bullets. Whichever ones
win, the other side just surrenders cuz
it's over. Um, I think that's the second
piece of it. I think a a a third piece
that is going to be uh kind of
unexpected is the GLP1s, which I know
you and I have privately discussed
before. I think these are the most
breakthrough drugs since antibiotics.
Um, they're probably more important than
statins. They're sort of miracle drugs.
They seem to the there there are
downsides, but the downsides and side
effects are so minor compared to the
upsides beyond just weight loss. Um
they also seem to be addiction breakers.
They seem to lower many kinds of cancer.
They almost metabolically reverse aging
up to a certain point. Um, and I think
they're going to bend the curve on
health care costs. And uh the big
question people are going to be asking
over the next 5 years is why are
Americans paying thousands of dollars a
month for this when people overseas are
getting them for free or I can order
them from China for free or whatever. Um
and maybe it like if I were Bernie
Sanders the platform I would be running
on is I would say okay we're going to
pay you know hundreds of billions of
dollars to Novo and Eli Liy and we're
just going to make these free or there's
hundreds of analoges of these things
that work. These are not going to be
you know, limited to just the few that
are that are being used today. Just take
one of them or two of them, make them
free, and I think it'll make a big
difference. And, uh, as you and I were
discussing earlier, uh, this does bend a
lot of people out of shape who got there
the oldfashioned way, and they want to
see obesity as a moral failing on
people's parts and it lowers their
status if they are suddenly signal is
less of a signal. Yeah. Correct.
Absolutely. Yeah. So, so they're
incented to say, "Oh, well, you don't
know the downsides. you know, it's
irresponsible to suggest it's going to
cause cancer. Have fun losing bone and
muscle mass. But none of that stuff is
really true. The cancer stuff is
actually beneficial on. I know people
who are now taking these things for
anti-aging reasons. Um they're already
fit, but they just want to age better
and have a stronger insulin metabolism.
Um and there's evidence now these things
are, you know, they put off dementia
Alzheimer's, colon cancer. It's insane.
Cardiovascular disease, like the the
list of benefits is insane. There's no
free lunch.
But this is a class of drugs that
prevents you from taking other drugs
into your body. It prevents you from
taking uh you know too much sugar, too
many calories in an era of abundance
prevents you from smoking, prevents you
from even uh there's an organization
called Casper that is now doing a study
on heroin addictions and they're showing
that this can lower opioid overdoses and
heroin addiction. So there's a lot of
overwhelming medical evidence coming out
and I think I don't I don't know the
exact number but I think something like
10% of the population might not have
tried these things. I think that's the
number that I'd say as well. It's
massive. I think it's about 50% of the
population say that they would like to
try it. Exactly. So uh I think the body
positivity movement is dead and we
always kind of knew it was a scam. I
mean it's dying very very quickly. Yeah.
Equipped like you can never be too rich
too thin or too clean, right? And
immediately like a whole bunch of people
went nonlinear my mention like what do
you mean too thin and what about the
hygiene hypothesis and you know
obviously there's always exceptions but
people want to be thin and fit and
people want to be clean back to the
pathogen discussion that we had. Um so I
think overall that there's going to be
huge demand for these things and our
modern medical system is not built to
supply these. Well, I'm not I'm not I
don't hold it against the phases. I
think the farmers did their job by
creating the thing, but I think next we
need to step up and figure out how to
make it broadly and cheaply available as
opposed to just milk it for only for
you know, people on obesity who can get
Medicare to sign off for it or people
paying out of pocket at very very high
prices. Yeah. Um the the benefits of
societal distribution of the safer GLP
ones is so large that whichever
politicians uh tackles that is going to
be richly rewarded. Well, obesity is the
number one source of malnutrition
worldwide. There's twice as many people
that are obese than are starving. So
about half a billion people are starving
in a billion. So many problems are
downstream of that. Like you know, look
at how much of the federal budget goes
into dialysis because of kidney failure.
And why is that? It's because of
diabetes, right? So so many of the
problems that we have in modern society
are downstream of obesity. And you know
this like fitness is so important. Uh
and yes, there's in some people these
things call mus cause muscle and bone
loss, but not in the people who are
eating high protein and working out
hard. So it they can be taken a way
that's safer. And some versions of these
like literal glutai, the original one
they've been around for decades, and the
others have been around for about a
decade. So and we already have, as you
said, 10% of the population taking them.
So they're already quite widely
distributed. A good sample size. Yeah
it's a great sample size. What more do
you need? Like if if you if you have a
bacterial infection that's eating you, I
don't say, "Oh, I have this antibiotic
but it's going to raise your blood
pressure." It's like "No, take the
antibiotic." If you're going to kill
yourself, I say, "Take this
antisycchotic and stay alive a little
longer and solve it." I don't say, "Oh
it's going to, you know, cause your
heart rate to go up by three beats a
minute. I don't worry about that." So
similarly, if you're poisoning yourself
with toxins and overuse of substances
that you shouldn't be using, either
heroin alcohol cigarettes sugar or
just sheer calories, um, take this GLP1.
Uh, they also improve digestion. You
just have less cal, just less food
matter going through your stomach. They
lower cancer risks across the board.
There's quite a few cancers that lower.
Um, cardiovasc I mean, I don't know what
else to tell you. I've been very
surprised by the negative reception
whenever you have a conversation about
GLP1s and I think a lot of it may be
people who and you well think about how
many sacred cows are being gored right
all the people who are basically saying
uh you should work harder you should be
fit like I did right it's lowering their
status think about all the nutritionists
and doctors and trainers who are now
being you know it's too easy they're
being put out of business in a way right
uh it's kind of like why does the
American military keep buying aircraft
carriers, right? In the age of drones
um there's an incentive bias. There's a
very strong motivated reasoning. Uh but
it doesn't matter. 10% people are on it.
Uh everybody wants to be fit. It's going
to spread like wildfire. M we I was just
thinking as you were talking that you
know when we think about health and a
lot of people kind of get captured by
the way that they were brought up the
the the habits that they had from their
childhood or what mom and dad did or
genetic predisposition and stuff like
that. I think um you have as many
reasons as as many people to sort of
feel hard done by by challenges that you
had earlier on in in your life. Is
getting past your past a skill? Sort of
not being owned today by your history.
Sort of not having that victimhood
mentality. Yeah, I I did have a uh tough
childhood, but I don't think about it.
You know, I I think there are a couple
of things going on there. One is I did
process it quite a bit. I thought about
it, but I thought about it to get rid of
it. I didn't think about it to dwell on
it or to like indulge. Yeah. I wanted to
be successful. I wanted more than
anything else to rise past that. And so
I couldn't have that as a burden on me.
So I had to get rid of it. So to the
extent that I dealt with it, it was to
it was for the express purpose of
getting rid of it, not to create an
identity or story or to reflect upon it
or to say look at me, look at what I've
accomplished and look how great I am and
what I've done. So I got rid of it. And
I think at some point you you wrestle
with that thing and then you just
realize like you're never going to
untangle the whole thing. It's a Gordian
knot problem. uh like Alexander you know
found that tangled knot in India and uh
they said oh the famous conqueror will
come and will untie this knot nobody
else can untie the knot and he took one
look at it pulled out a sword and just
cut it so at some point you just have to
cut your past if your past is bothering
you you will eventually get tired of
trying to untangle that knot and you
will just drop it because you will
realize life is short and the more you
have more you want to accomplish in this
life actually the less time you have to
unravel that thing so I just wanted to
actually get things done so I had no
time to deal with it. So, I just cut it.
It's like a really bad relationship, but
in this case, it's a bad relationship
with your own history, so you just drop
it. Yeah. I think, you know, so much of
what we've spoken about today is on the
shortness of life and uh the fact that
every moment is precious. You had to
take about um that the most fundamental
resource in your life is not time, it's
attention. That's right. I used to
think, you know, the currency of life
right? People think it's money. And yes
money is important and it does let you
trade certain things for time, but it
doesn't really buy you time. Ask Warren
Buffett how much time money can buy you
or Michael Bloomberg. They're, you know
rich as Scrooge and and Chris, but they
can't buy more time, right? Brian
Johnson, notwithstanding. Um, so you
can't trade money for time. Money is not
the real currency of life.
And time itself doesn't even mean that
much because as we talked about before
a lot of time can be wasted because
you're not really present for it. You're
not paying attention. So the real
currency of life is attention. It's what
you choose to pay attention to and and
and what you do about it. And so back to
the point about the news media, you can
put your attention on the news, but
that's how you're spending the real
currency of life. So just be aware of
that. If you want to, that's fine.
There's no there's no right or wrong
here. Like maybe it is your destiny to
pick something in the news, learn about
that problem, adopt that problem, and
solve it. But just be careful because
your attention is the only thing that
you have and that can also be captured
by your own past. It Yes. You can
fritter it away on anything you like. Is
there an advantage to starting out as a
loser? Uh absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. cuz if
you're because if you're a loser then
you'll want to be a winner and then
you'll develop all the characteristics
that will help you be a you know quote
unquote winner in life. That said, I
wouldn't sentence my kids to it. Like I
don't think you can artificially do
that. You know, it's it's sort of like
imagine that you were you know 300 years
ago you're born a surf and then somehow
you managed to escape off the farm and
you become a land owner and then
eventually you become minor nobility and
aristocrat. Are you going to put your
kids back on the farm and say you're
going to be a surf again? I know they
all like those stories. the the kids
themselves like those stories because it
says I came from the school of hard
knocks. My dad made me go shovel hay for
a summer. It's not real. I mean, you're
not going to trick them. Um, I think
what you can all you can do is kind of
uh cultivate an appreciation and
gratitude for what you have. And the
only way to do that is just evidence it
yourself, right? Just show yourself how
you spend money, how you respect it
what you do with it, how you take care
of people, who you're responsible for.
and and and the more resources you have
the greater the tribe you can take care
of. The more of the tribe you can take
care of. So when you have no resources
you're struggling to take care of
yourself. And at that point, it's good
to be selfish cuz you can't save
somebody else if you can't even save
yourself. Yes. So you take care of
yourself and you become the best version
of yourself. But there are too many men
who are able, fit, and have some money
who are doing nothing with their lives.
They're just sitting at home doing
nothing, just indulging in themselves.
Maybe they go on dates and they get Door
Dash. Like I have no respect for that. I
think there's nothing worse in society
than a lazy man because he's sort of
he's sort of leaving it all on the
table. He's leaving his potential on the
table. It's bad for him. So the next
thing you do is you go and you have a
family and you take care of your family.
Take care of that tribe. Then you take
care of your extended family. You take
care of your cousins, brothers, uncles
grandmothers, aunts, you know, sisters
everybody that you can. And then if you
have more resources beyond that, then
you go take care of your local tribe.
You take care of your people. Um you
start trying to do some good for the
world. And if you have more resource
than that, you go take care of an even
bigger tribe. And that's how you earn
both respect and self-confidence and you
live up to your potential. So the the
more you have, the more is rightfully
expected of you. And I think it's a good
compact with society when highly capable
people express and flex that capability
by giving more and more and by doing
more and more. And society rewards them
with the one thing they can't get
otherwise which is status. Right? So
society should give you status in
exchange for it. Um, they should say
"Okay, you did a good job. You took care
of more people than than just yourself
and just the people immediately around
you." Uh, and that's what an alpha male
to me is. An alpha male is not the one
who gets to eat first. The alpha male
eats last. The alpha male feeds
everybody else first and then gets to
eat last. And they do that out of their
own self-respect and pride. And society
rewards them by calling them an alpha
and giving them status. I wonder whether
some of the push back that we've got
against uh rich, wealthy, powerful
people is disincentivizing. Uh it is
like who was it? Zuck who you know
donated money at Zuckerberg General's
hospital and they wanted to pull his
name off of it. I mean that's I didn't
see that but that's that kind of stuff
backfires right? You you should reward
people for doing what were you saying
before you don't just need to in fact
actually actively avoid castigating
people if you want their behavior to
change when they get something wrong.
Look at reinforcing it when they get
something right. It's happening at a a
societal level as well. Correct. I mean
like the the guys who make a lot of
money and go out and buy sports teams, I
wouldn't do that, right? But the one who
goes out and builds a hospital or builds
a rocket to take people to the moon, uh
you know, rescue some astronauts, you
should be rewarding him for that. Mhm.
Naval, I really appreciate you. Uh, I
hope that this has lived up to whatever
weird daydreams you've been having.
Um, what have you got coming up? What
can people expect from you over the next
however long? Expect nothing. That's the
most naval way that we could have
finished this, dude. It's uh it's been a
long time coming and I really do
appreciate you for being here today. But
I do hope you deliver something. Oh, I
think you have. So, thank you. Thanks
for having me. Thank you, too. Thanks
for getting in my mind. And hopefully
now you're out. We'll see. Maybe even
worse now you've got the real memories
to stick. I don't know. The reason to
win the game is to be free of it. The
reason the reason to do the podcast is
to be is to be done with it.
All right. Wow. You made it to the end.
Congratulations. Well, if you enjoyed
that, you're going to love my fulllength
conversation with the one and only
Alander Boton from the School of Life
right here.
Go on.
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