ADHD or Trauma Noise? - 4 Examples

[Music]

in a recent video I did on ADHD I shared

about how bad my functioning was around

the age of 20 right before I started to

do my own childhood trauma work and I

talked about how I could never really

get it together in the way that I wanted

to I was late for everything I was

somewhat dissociated in say just basic

talking with people was never really on

top of my bills had some magical

thinking going on like thinking I can

get across town in five minutes when it

really takes 45 and I had this constant

nagging sense that I was defective and

really somewhat wasn't going to make it

in life um I was also impulsive with

money constantly behind the eightball

and pretty much kind of a mess um and

many of you really resonated with my

description of all that or for how I was

in the world at that time and an

interesting piece um that is the main

point to this video is I I couldn't

really meditate until I did some work

around my childhood trauma which is

interesting as much as I tried I

couldn't get to a calm Focus place in

order to do that and I'm going to come

back to that later I wanted to go into

deeper about what specifically in my

childhood trauma what was it that made

my functioning that off that got better

through treatment um in my first two or

three years of Private Practice I saw my

client struggle with the same things

that I struggled with like distraction

disregulation General adulting um and

many would lose their focus in not

having the confidence about relying on

themselves for General living just like

my experience like something was

preventing them from getting there and I

started to call that thing simply trauma

noise trauma noise is the cumulative

unprocessed events emotions grief shame

Injustice um emotional physical sexual

abuse family Dynamics stuff that we saw

all of it and some of it's conscious but

actually most of it isn't and I see it

as repressed but I still think it runs

our system even though that it's

repressed trauma noise is like having a

bunch of songs being played at the same

time in your head or in our subconscious

and it's not a cool matchup it's not a

good time you know none of it's in tune

none of it's lined up and the brain is

overwhelmed with dealing with trying to

manage all that while still functioning

or pretending that it's not there and

that part is exhaust one song is say

your parents divorce another is the

relationship that you had with one of

them um one is what happened to you or

to your siblings one is the things you

said or did growing up because you were

traumatized another is a is a specific

collection of things that happen such as

bullying inside or outside the home and

all of that is on repeat in our

subconscious playing at once um

sometimes quiet and sometimes really

cranked up when we're triggered like one

song will then take take precedence when

we say we get feedback or work or we're

triggered to intimacy with our partner

and I think they're on repeat because

they're asking to be processed like how

we have specific recurring dreams or

images from time to time and we're just

trying to do life with all that going on

just trying to make it through work or

navigate relationships or simply to just

get through our day also this isn't me

trying to like freak you out or Gaslight

you about feeling that you're worse off

than you are of course this stuff is

there and you've actually managed to

deal with it so far um and you're okay I

just want you to have a a stronger

understanding of your triggers and stuck

places related to this concept in

context and not confusing it with ADHD

and as a side note deep processing of

childhood trauma isn't for everybody and

that should be respected sometimes it is

best to just leave it be and function as

best as you can that should be respected

so I'd like to give some specific

examples of trauma noise in this video

video and look at how they often get

confused with ADHD in my mind here are

some major bullet points about this

video just like the last one I did on

this topic which was ADHD versus cptsd

number one is in no way am I discounting

the diagnosis of ADHD number two is I'm

giving the framework for adults with

ADHD symptoms or trauma symptoms not

children I'm not suggesting that ADHD is

always caused by trauma and I'm what I

am saying is cptsd can often be

misdiagnosed for ADHD because they look

so similar that the major deciding

factor would be a person's history of

childhood trauma which is complicated

cuz some don't remember so I get that

part um in the last video the message is

you certainly can have cpts and ADHD

both going on and doing therapy work for

either can be very much helpful so it's

it's all okay I see in the mental health

World though that we don't consider

childhood trauma enough and it's usually

gloss over so I'm offering another

possibility as in my history the more I

worked deeply in my childhood trauma the

higher my capacity for functioning was

and just getting out of my own way if

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practitioner you can join me for a live

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work and childhood trauma on Saturday

May 7th 2022 registration is right up

there on my the white ball to my website

so the best way I can share this idea of

trauma noise is through a visual as

childhood trauma survivors we're all

sitting on a lot and trying to just do

our best in life we're trying to show up

to our relationships or our children or

careers or just trying to be just trying

to be a person either when we're

activated or triggered in some ways or

whether we're just at our Baseline

emotions these things still affect our

functioning because the noise is still

there just might not be on full volume

like when we're triggered and I don't

believe that the things that we're

sitting on go away as much as we try to

either repress it deny it or ignore it I

think trauma comes out sideways when we

try to push it down it comes out in

other ways um and I look at trauma noise

as a collective of what happened to us

and that becomes our conditioning here's

what I mean the noise consists of

unprocessed things like our core beliefs

that come from childhood trauma examples

being I'm unlovable if people disrespect

me they should be punished I'll never

have what others have it's my job to

take care of others these are developed

during our survival of of childhood

trauma make sense of what's going on

around us the second piece is

unprocessed incidents scenes from

childhood that pop up in our minds or in

our dreams subconsciously they can also

come in the forms of fighting with

people in our heads like I've mentioned

and not connecting the present fight in

our heads to stuff that came up in

childhood um these are all this is all

the abuse that happened to us or stuff

that we saw as children anything from

being abused by a sibling to seeing a

sibling get abused by somebody else the

the third thing is our history of

traumatized self raise your hand out

there if you've been trying to go to

sleep and your brain decides to randomly

focus on what you said in the eighth

grade that one time and kind of made a

fool out of yourself or when you

actually weren't really good to another

kid for trying to fit in or things that

you said or did to somebody that you

know that when you were dating we all

human but I find that those who grow up

in in trauma they act out because of the

parental trauma and then we feel like

we're terrible humans we were giving off

these signs it's not what we would have

chosen to behave like that even if we

were safe at home or grew up in

normaly and the fourth piece is Big it's

family Legacy and shame I really think

that most of our unconscious behaviors

and stuff comes from trying to not be

like our parents one or both of them so

when when the when your debit card gets

declined for whatever reason and the

trauma noise kind of pops up and takes

over and it it kind of takes the

opportunity to pop up and say see you're

just like your mooching father or you're

just like your manipulative mother and

everyone can see or you can't hide that

you're just like them about money or

that you know see Mom and Dad were right

about you you can't manage things that's

what I mean by that that family Legacy

all of these are examples um can look

like someone struggling with ADHD in the

moment so let's do a hypothetical on

that credit card idea so you can see the

trauma survivor really get dis organized

and dissociate say about the credit card

thing being declined at a lunch or store

or whatever but then they stay in that

and then they become late for work

because they get consumed in it or

because they get reactive and then they

overly take several hours to go over

every piece of their finances to make

sure and now they're in a hyperfocused

place about it and they might go down

the rabbit hole of sorts after

confirming that the the simply the

credit card actually expired and they

actually had the money in there but

they're so triggered about the shame of

it that it takes over and I see going

down the rabbit hole as becoming

hypervigilant due to shame and yes a

credit card decline is difficult for

anyone or someone with ADHD but it

taking over throughout our days might be

a sign of something greater like

childhood trauma so that's what I mean

about trauma noise and yes it means that

you're triggered in the moment but the

noise is consistently there and now it's

just louder when we're acting ated so

let's briefly look at a v diagram from

that video I mentioned about comparing

ADHD to cptsd so here are the

traditional ADHD symptoms on the left

things like poor planning poor time

management task completion hyperactivity

or problems with hyperfocus and compared

to traditional cptsd symptoms on the

right we also have the majority of named

issues in the strong overlap of the vend

diagram with the main idea in those two

issues in mind mind heavily rooted in

something called Association I'll have

the link to this video description that

you guys can check out at the end so you

can just go check out what that video

was about I think we dissociate because

of the trauma noise where we lose being

present in the moment and the card thing

will automatically put us into a

disorganized activated brain and we lose

our groundedness we lose our goodness

about ourselves so we're still a good

person even though the credit card came

up and we lose a foundation and that's

how I C dissociation it's not just an

outof Body Experience so and I think

that all of these words and definitions

on the diagram are better explained in

someone's personal story instead of

Concepts such as the cptsd symptom of

say attachment problems I think it's

better explained by someone's story like

from that trauma noise slide about

having say a physically abusive mother

and an abandoning father who has

multiple Affairs that's the reason for

the attachment stuff not just the name

of it um this might become say an

avoidant attachment style in adulthood

the push pull style that can be confused

with ADHD symptoms around communication

or confusion about what the person might

really want from a relationship and such

attachment problems for example create a

lot of noise in our head from our lives

that affect our functioning and our

ability to be present in the way that we

would want to be you know raise your

hand out there if you've ever gotten

really reactive with someone that you

were dating with and kind of blew it

um did that come from like like a

nowhere place inside of you like it did

it come from a place that was on

automatic pilot that's pretty noisy

where the trauma is coming out sideways

as much as we try to maybe repress it or

simply that we're not aware of it and we

can we could also easily attribute that

to like the impulsivity or

trauma and cptsd because the symptoms

they they look very similar and these

are not numbered in order and many of

them will overlap they usually does um

and it's okay if you relate to all of

them and I'm just doing some of the

major ADHD symptoms and not all of them

just want to highlight what I mean when

I go through some so let's just dive

into it number one poor planning poor

follow through prioritization and

organization this is kind of a hodg

podge of of several ADHD symptoms here

so getting work projects done cleaning

up a room getting lost in it finishing a

paper on time or needing extensions

because of that or procrastinating right

up to the wire that's kind of actually

how I I I operate in sort of

procrastination it's not always a bad

thing it's just my process so take that

for what it is or even getting back to

people in text and emails sort of

drowning in a pile of basic living task

and overwhelm simply about stuff like

travel plans and it's totally toally in

line with the diagnosis of ADHD and if

the person doesn't have a trauma history

perfectly fine to just leave it at that

and seek treatment for ADHD but what if

all that pile up and overwhelm is due to

a person growing up and say neglect or

growing up in incredible shame around

say coming from a looks good on paper

family that lives for performance and

expectations or executing tasks and

you're scapegoated and failure to

measure up in that or if you grew up

something like the chaos family there's

really no parenting around getting it

together I often say that children

growing up in toxic systems um are

expected to be amazing in

self-sufficient little adults without

getting any help kids need a lot of help

if you're a parent now you probably get

that and what if the functioning in

disorganization is trauma noise rooted

in the core belief that you don't

measure up because that was verbatim

said to you and your inner child is just

acting accordingly with what your family

thought about you what if the and this

is a common one is part of it is not

being able to get out of your own way

with this kind of functioning because

you literally were never parented by a

safe person around organization or

showing up but you were expected to

Children of neglect live in anxiety and

overwhelm because life is all on them

that's a very important concept as young

as grammar school the child doesn't even

know that healthy parents consistently

help with living um and learning and

setting the child up for a success like

say a third grader um a healthy parent

would say remember we had that school

project with the diarama on nature this

week instead of parents not knowing

about it or caring or Worse reacting

that it comes up last minute um like the

kid should handle all that when that's

not how parenting really works at least

that's how I see it are the problems of

follow through really about being set up

by the parental figures about not being

prepared or engaged in life where in

extreme neglect we have really off

expectations this is where children

actually show signs of like grades

failing or acting out but they aren't

seen as signs to do something for the

child but they're rather seen as the

child's failings the inner child might

also be waiting still for someone to

show them how to live how to get their

credit score out of the red how to

donate clothes that they no longer wear

teaching to have like some flow in life

that's a deep version of noise um and it

can also look like protesting life

subconsciously so it's really important

like you're watching this video which is

an act of trying to get your adult in

place to take care of the inner child

overwhelm is the noise of like a hundred

thoughts usually going off in the

negative all at once pay attention to

the quality of those thoughts are they

about catastrophe are they about fear of

not knowing how to do something or doing

something well are they about feeling

like the basic thing that you need to do

is like insurmountable and you just

can't do it it are they about giving up

maybe due to grief and lastly many

clients become Frozen I want to make

sure I address this one around decisions

decision to making can really mess us up

simple decisions are big ones and I

think it's due from all the trauma noise

that I mentioned about what's going to

happen if I pull the trigger on this

decision number two is communication in

my mind communication is the biggest

manifestation of trauma noise that looks

like ADHD I find a major place of

discomfort for trauma surv is being seen

um talking on Zoom talking at a meeting

talking in class any hint of shame or

conflict that comes up socially um W

with people can really disregulated us

and feel like we're on the spot so

examples of being seen explaining

ourselves to say a new therapist um

being sung happy birthday to I know that

that sounds weird but you're the focus

having to present or discuss something

in class at work being introduced to new

people for for survivors this creates

anxiety and like frenetic energy that is

difficult to explain so what does this

look like it might look like tripping

over our words talking while filtering

way too much due to shame and not

wanting to offend somebody or come

across wrong maybe like our parents do

navigating The Listener way too much

losing our thoughts or our points

becoming super

tangential apologizing or navigating

someone as we go um it's the opposite of

being calm and comfortable and direct

cor you know and how could that actually

be trauma noise well abused children are

often put on the spot in fact we are we

only do this to children like look at me

when I'm talking to or I can't believe

that you would ask that right now and

how dare you say that about your father

or you always get things wrong you know

or spit it out for f sakes communicating

was often terrifying in the abusive

family system so there's going to be a

lot of noise in the present about how

the other person will see us how the

other person will react

um we also witness a lot of the adults

communicating in really off ways or

nasty ways and we don't want to be like

them um but we don't really have healthy

ideas or role models to go on so we're

just kind of winging it big thing with

trauma noise is also blurting things out

in some form of a truth we want to say

but it comes out in really insensitive

ways or really awkward ways and we were

probably actually raised like that and

the inner children are stuck in trying

to tell the truth but don't know how to

do it in healthy ways this can be

mislabeled as ADHD communication when it

might not be um are we interrupting a

conversation because of ADHD or is it

because we're doing that from trying to

control what other people think about us

due to shame um just like we had to do

with our parents or control people's

reactions could it be related to not

seeing healthy reciprocity in

conversations at home I had a boss one

time that constantly misread what I was

saying they would interrupt me and give

me like an airtight argument on

something totally unrelated to what I

was expressing it was kind of maddening

actually but I also knew that they grew

up in a very dominating got to win the

conversation family system like it's

like you're not going to shame me this

time and I'm going to prove it to you

why like that was their relational style

and navigating and filtering ourselves

can also be the noise of Shame as well

as the noise of a parent constantly

misunderstanding you or giving you

constantly like little quips these are

these are really gross when parents do

this it's like of course you want to

sleep over your friend's house cuz you

can't stand being at home I was never

like that when I was a kid why are you

that's what I mean by that so we try to

control and navigate that so if you find

yourself navigating others and losing

track like well well of course you don't

want tomatoes and you told me that a

long time ago I was just not thinking

I'm sorry but you have the right to

change your mind I'm I'm not like

imposing my will here about the tomatoes

though we we don't even have to have the

pasta we could do do anything you want

all of them is like I'm trying to cover

up a time bomb and we communicate in

weird weird ways because of that it's

kind of how I grew up as well moving on

to number three is impulsivity um

strongly related to number two about

communication this can range from a busy

internal motor to rushing through things

interrupting others in conversation

misinterpreting someone and reacting to

your own narrative um not having

reciprocity like I mentioned in

conversation

fidgeting this can also look like kind

of being in an attention seeking mode

like you're acting like a bit of a court

gesture impulsively it can also look

like acting without thinking like you're

at a party and you all of a sudden you

decide to start cleaning up during kind

of a chill time because you don't know

what else to do with yourself you're

acting without thinking or not thinking

of consequences like say calling in sick

too many times and being detached from

my what what might happen because of

that or how it that might come across

and again and if you don't have a trauma

history all of these can definitely just

fall under ADHD and either way though

these result in us not really feeling

good about ourselves or how we conduct

it like you leave the party and you're

like why was I cleaning you know um this

can even look like misreading

suggestions and misreading them as

commands or demands like your partner is

asking to do something together but

you're busy and you become like angry or

pressured internally that's impulsively

reacting to a suggestion or missing the

point where like you actually can sort

of say no or reschedule or engage better

with them or worse you you know not to

take the outing and and overstress

yourself and trying to do both work and

the outing at the same time and you act

out from that so how could all that be

potential trauma noise well remember the

disassociative part of that overlapping

vend diagram that can mean being out of

our bodies but it can also mean being

really unconscious and not grounded in

ourselves and we react instead of

respond it can also mean being impulsive

like the squeaky wheel in class seeking

attention it can mean being a bit

self-involved and not seeing the other

person in a conversation it can mean

making on the spot poor decisions like

cracking a joke or making a reference

that only you'll get then feeling bad

when it doesn't land these are all

things we can kind of feel shame about

or even leave a class or conversation

being worried if you monopolized the

conversation but didn't intend to like

it was automatic how could that be

related to Childhood trauma well growing

up in neglect or a super tense

environment where things weren't modeled

in healthy ways or the mirroring was

really off many survivors um grow up in

what I call kind of vacuums and they

don't know how they come across to

others we're also the last to know if

we're reactive or impulsive kind of

relationally so raise your hand if you

feel like you didn't get the handbook in

life on how to be social as a kid or it

started there and you kept making

awkward attempts this feels like you're

kind of shooting in the dark but yet

intuiting it's going to fail anyway but

yet you still do it like think Ralph

wigam from The Simpsons kind of a Vibe

and sure you can look at that as simply

Being Human and trying to engage but it

can come from being really neglected or

say you were raised in a really hyper

religious household and when you go to

school you'd have to guess and guess

wrong coming back to Ralph Wiggum from

The Simpsons like his father was the

police officer and it's just like he was

pretty critical of him or just kind of

almost a little bit like passively

disgusted with his kid and I think that

that like made his made Ralph wigam

worse the psychology of of Ralph wigam

so my family growing up was super

negative with each other and we were

sarcastic at Baseline so with with

friends at work I'd make some really big

impulsive negative faux PA and would

create like a a big loud record scratch

in the room and that was me sitting on

all the noise about how my family

treated each other and what was modeled

for me and I was acting out from that

template and in turn creating more

tension in the present for myself I

tried really hard to be normal probably

like a lot of you but the impulsive

negative things I would say was my

trauma noise coming out sideways and my

family connected around misery and I

would impulsively do the same thing with

others and they'd be like whoa whoa know

you okay buddy and I would impulsively

take my my family's kind of Debbie

Downer Vibes into the wrong places

creating awkwardness creating

impulsivity I'd also make rash impulsive

decisions that the person I was dating

was no longer a good person when that

probably wasn't true or jobs like I

moved through a lot of restaurant jobs

for feeling super offended and I would

abruptly decide to leave was that just

general ADHD or was that childhood

trauma noise as impul pulsive self-

protection or magical thinking that

would often come up at the slightest

feeling of being disrespected um we can

be incredibly impulsive when we feel

like things are personal and Trauma the

thing about trauma noise is that growing

up it was very personal um but we now

have a noisy sensitivity to it lastly I

haven't met a trauma Survivor yet that

wasn't either hypo internal motored or

hyper internal motored fidgeting rushing

not comfortable with rest at all and

impulsively keeping busy or

distracted um that's usually in like a

Norm from our clients or they're

massively shut down and sort of the

opposite of that it's almost the same

thing we're sitting on a lot and perhaps

the busyness is an attempt to not feel

The Well of trauma emotions such as

shame or not good enough in the

subconscious noise about what are

abusive family did to us as children

moving on to number four is low

frustration tolerance related to

impulsivity low frustration tolerance is

really hard and it's hard to live in um

if not related to Childhood trauma

history low frustration tolerance can

definitely be a part of ADHD it can come

from lack of not being able to focus or

being hyperfocused on one thing and

neglecting others or being pulled away

from something that's actually enjoyable

can be related to a a cumulative

exhaustion and struggling or trying to

just get through something as simple as

the morning time um it can be for of

sleep personal Shame about other ADHD

symptoms and now manifesting in some

kind of FY life kind of vibe ADHD is

brutal to navigate and deal with without

help how could that maybe be related to

the childhood trauma piece or the

childhood trauma noise we could be

raised with parents with low frustration

tolerance raise your hand out there if

your parents can't handle things like

traffic or disagreements or or

directions um or who who grew up in an

angry unhappy household and the modeling

is like this is our lot in life did your

parents take things personally and

that's what was modeled chances are with

toxic family systems like I said it was

always personal which greatly lowers our

risk for frustration um or lowers our

tolerance FR for frustration there's

often a reserve of very valid rage about

what took place in our childhoods but it

doesn't belong in the present and that

noise can manifest with speaking say to

the cable company or dealing with a Bure

bureaucracy in some way and of course

dealing with the cable Company is

frustrating to everyone but does it hit

kind of a rage button in you about being

manipulated about being marginalized

about things being massively unfair that

it being only beneficial to one side of

the party um the cable company did the

family that you grew up in have special

rules or did they keep moving the goal

line on you was the family you grew up

and extremely unfair and lacked any

sense of balance or Justice it can

really come from just constantly being

dismissed or put into unsafe situations

or in my case um constantly being made

to jump through hoops at the start of my

trauma treatment saying I had low

frustration tolerance was generous I

felt like filling out forms or

multi-step processes like applying for

college were unnecessary gatekeeping to

me like we can often feel like the world

is purposely making things harder on us

and I'm not saying the world doesn't do

that to us at times but I was completely

unaware that my rage was coming from

that my abusive father did a lot of that

kind of thing to us making us jump

through hoops growing up for us to get

our basic needs met he would make you

work for it as a way to look Superior to

you and have control over you if I

needed lunch money or a permission slip

signed and my mother wasn't around I

would have to go through the ordeal um

that was him and then he'd act like he

did you a favor by signing the slip or

giving little mess you know raise your

hand out there if you relate to that um

the trauma noise itself is sitting on

all that happened to us can make us very

negative and easily frustrated it's also

hard to see others kind of like glide

through life when it feels like you have

to work four times as hard to get to the

same place that they do I think I felt a

lot of that growing up my frustration

tolerance was also wrapped up in a

trauma narrative around the noise of

fairness I felt like others had it much

easier which made me act out in a bit

kind of like secretly entitled way that

was also modeled for me by my parents

they were like that as well um my mother

would feel like she had the world

against her if we got to a store right

at closing and she'd act like the world

did that to her on purpose without

seeing that it was more about her

disorganization or her drinking or her

poor planning um than it was about the

store making special rules or something

cuz the hours were clearly outlined on

the store door um and she would never

take that in so low frustration

tolerance as trauma noise can also be

rooted in feeling like you're just

treading water in Life or you're doing

your best to seem normal as you can and

something pushes you under or something

imp like impulsive happens and others

point out to you that you don't have it

as together as you try to seem like you

do like say at work you're already

emotionally taxed at Baseline and then

they want to do a meeting with you or do

a performance review and the noise at

Baseline makes life harder and now

something more is being piled on and I'm

not just counting the job could be toxic

or unrealistic expectations like that's

not the point or I often have clients

get deeply triggered this is really

specific when their trauma pops up

despite the fact that they put most of

their energy into doing the best that

they can and it feels like the world is

saying that your survival strategy isn't

good enough it can really piss you off

because just like our families the noise

is about us feeling or saying to our

boss or to our partner like we would

Express to them when this comes up like

you have no idea the energy that I put

into just making it and now you want to

have a meeting with me so that's what I

mean about low frustration but that Vibe

really isn't good for us it's a bit it's

really kind of a self-righteous Vibe and

it's still noise of growing up without a

safe home base to be just human um and

the noise of having to make it on our

own as children without any help that's

where that you have no idea stuff comes

from it's not so much about the present

but again that noise comes out sideways

and you find yourself might you might

find yourself breaking down or having

really hit a Tipping Point in those kind

of situations and our frustration is

through the roof so last thought on low

frustration tolerance is many trauma

survivors live in conditioned upset or

even have an addiction to upset as a way

to confirm that nothing works in the

present it's odd but we can actually get

a little bit of a hit from being really

really pissed off or self-righteous or

going to that F my life kind kind of a

place and again I'm not trying to blame

the Survivor a lot of that stuff is

modeled for us but in a way if you live

an upset just be curious about that

curious about does any part of it almost

do you get something out of it so take

that for what it is so what to do with

all this I think getting treatment for

ADHD symptoms is going to be helpful

either way I think trauma or ADHD but if

you relate to this idea of trauma noise

that we're sitting on conscious or not I

think processing our childhood trauma is

going to help if you want that with

lessening the noise and coming back to

our bodies to live presently in a less

disorganized and reactive way and I'd

recommend a bunch of stuff the most

acceptable treatment being EMDR which

helps I think it helps create space for

new beliefs and hopefully processing the

old noise um I've done it myself it's

very very helpful really really good I

was but in another way earlier I was

able to drain most of my trauma Noise by

going to a trauma group where we did

intimacy work rage work finishing

business with our families holding them

accountable metaphorically not in person

doing empty chair work experiential work

and doing that with others who were on

the same path and that they were safe

finding all that I know is incredibly

hard and I'm just saying that's how I

did it but there are some therapies out

there that can help help you shift out

of the noise and become a little bit

more but just make sure that it's trauma

Focus work with the traum focused

therapist and I can definitely do a

whole video on that uh at a at a

different time lastly trauma noise is

there for good reason it's like an

intense unfinished movie that you never

got closure on and it's there in the

background sort of asking to be

addressed if you choose to um it can

simply be the grief and loss of family

normaly or not being connected with your

family my experience was once I process

and did deeper work um like I mentioned

with meditation earlier those chap in my

life got resolved got closed and it

didn't come up intense moments or

randomly anymore here's an exercise

though that I can offer that you can do

about some looking at some personal

examples of the trauma noise you

experience it's kind of a list exercise

you create three columns for three

separate lifts um the first is systemic

trauma noise this is hard to come up

with but you can refer to something like

my seven types of toxic family systems

by systemic I mean how your family

system operated things like aggressor

codependent triangulation looks good on

paper Superior inferior relationships or

parental attitudes passive aggression

religion before reality protect the most

abusive person all of that stuff is like

you know system issues and here I've

given three examples of systemic issues

like the toxic divorce with the ships in

the night thing poor parental boundaries

and filter and say something like basic

as how the family communicates ated next

is you you draw a correlation to some

concrete memories I would actually start

here and then work from the left column

to the right and notice how each item is

related to each other from left to right

concrete memories is the stuff that

keeps coming up for you or things that

stick out in your mind like that time on

vacation where Mom lost it Christmas 97

stuff that was said to you these were

actually Clues at the time that you

remember but they were clues about that

you actually weren't safe and it had

gone off the rails the last column is

relating your present trauma noise it's

like your triggers it can be anything

that you get disregulated around

feedback that you worry your partner

will leave or is cheating and that you

overshare or you OV explain and the

exercise is about connecting the dots

the noise is there for good reasons and

it's not what you would have chosen if

given the choice if you get stuck in one

column try starting with another and

almost work with it like a crossword

puzzle see if that helps making your

trauma noise clearer it's not going to

make it go away but for you to be on top

of it and know where it's coming from is

a step to eventually making a going way

this requires some thinking and you can

use my videos to research or look for

other Concepts um through the videos I

recently put together a playlist that

has like a succession of all these

videos and you can check that out too so

I hope this very long video was helpful

to you um you can go check out the

original video on ADHD versus cptsd to

to check that out and use that for a

reference as well you can also go

through a list of there's a video on

journaling prompts that might get you to

think about this stuff or get to know

your triggers they all have a general

theme to them about exploring childhood

that's in a playlist that I've recently

created I'll also have that in the link

in the description and I hope it was

helpful to you um I would love to hear

your thoughts on trauma noise what you

think about it I would love to hear

questions in the comments and as always

may you be filled with loving kindness

may you be well may you be peaceful and

at ease and may you be joyous and I will

see you next

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