How to Stop Overthinking! (and be more present)

Hello and welcome to my next video. So

this video is going to be on overthinking or thinking too much. The problem of thinking too much. There's a many people who they attempt to meditate, they

attempt to be present and they find it very difficult because they can't stop thinking.

So it's very common for people who feel that they have an overactive mind. This

is a mind that is completely out of control. is basically constantly giving

control. is basically constantly giving you things to think about and the person is constantly engaging with those thoughts. Overthinking is also common

thoughts. Overthinking is also common for people who grew up in a chaotic or unpredictable environment which results in something called hypervigilance.

Basically, you're constantly aware of your environment and scanning it for threats and thinking about how you would handle those threats. It's as if your fight orflight response is stuck on the

on position and it can't be switched off. The

overactive mind, in short, ruminates on the past and it fixates on imagined future scenarios. So, it's always

future scenarios. So, it's always planning and it's always attempting to be prepared. The past and the future

be prepared. The past and the future come as thoughts, images, and feelings.

So, the overactive mind constantly has thoughts coming into it. your attention

is always pulled in the direction of those thoughts and you can't seem to get a break from thinking. So, I drew this picture here to sort of illustrate what

an overactive mind looks like.

It's just a crude representation, but let's see. There's only two types of

let's see. There's only two types of thoughts that you can have, and those are thoughts of the past or thoughts of the future.

Thoughts of the past include ones filled with regret. You have regrets, you have

with regret. You have regrets, you have pains and traumas. So you're remembering pains that you've experienced in the past or trauma that you've experienced in the past. And then also there's

nostalgia. And nostalgia

nostalgia. And nostalgia can come in two forms, which is you're yearning for the past. So you wish you could go back because of the nostalgia or you have simple fondness. So there's

a fondness for the past. Then there's

also the future. So the future thoughts, you have desires for the future.

You have thoughts of anticipation.

You have thoughts of anxiety or fear.

And these thoughts end up being centered around planning and preparing. With both

sides of past and future, both types of these thoughts within the mind. There

are a lot of ifonies.

So you might say, "If only this did or didn't happen. If only I could get or

didn't happen. If only I could get or get rid of this or that.

The fact is that the overactive mind, the mind in general, but particularly o overactive mind is never satisfied. A

term you hear often for the overactive mind is the monkey mind. It's always

jumping from branch to branch. It can

never sit still. It's very poorly trained. It's always making a fuss.

trained. It's always making a fuss.

And the thing to note about the mind is that thoughts generate more thoughts. So

as soon as you grab a hold of maybe a thought of the past, a regret, a pain, you'll follow that train of thought, the sequence of thoughts, and then it will generate a new train of thought, and

you'll just constantly be uh jumping from the past, the future, the past again, maybe a different part of the past, then a different part of the future, and you'll never actually be

just enjoying your time in the present moment because you're always engaging with your overactive mind. Now, perhaps

Steve realizes that he has a thinking problem. Here's our friend Steve again,

problem. Here's our friend Steve again, and maybe he saw a YouTube video, and in that YouTube video, the guy said that thinking isn't all that necessary. And

instead of brushing that off, he thought "Huh how much do I really enjoy thinking? And

how much of my thoughts are actually useful?"

useful?" And now he's realized I do have a thinking problem. There is an issue

thinking problem. There is an issue here. I don't seem to be happy. I don't

here. I don't seem to be happy. I don't

seem to be fulfilled by thinking so much.

So, if you remember my little drawing of the brain, we had the past and we had the future. But what's missing? The

the future. But what's missing? The

present. You can't have thoughts about the present. If you're completely

the present. If you're completely present, you're not having thoughts.

You're not thinking at all. You can have thoughts about the concept of the present like how we can talk about the concept of the present but the moment

that is right now contains nothing. It

simply is. Everything that I'm telling you right now is already in the past.

And if I think about what I'm going to say next, I'm thinking about the future.

The present is eternally now and it is not contained in thoughts.

So, in order to stop overthinking, Steve must become more present.

Let's lay down some facts.

Thoughts happen.

And we can pay attention to those thoughts. By paying attention to those

thoughts. By paying attention to those thoughts, we invest in them.

And let's say that investing attention is a synonymous with thinking. So when

you invest attention in thoughts, you are engaging in the process of thinking.

Now thinking becomes habit. Now Steve

has a thinking problem because he has a habit of thinking. He has a habit of investing his attention in thoughts. So

how does Steve become present? Well, he

needs to break the habit. He needs to break the habit of giving his attention to thoughts. He needs to invest

to thoughts. He needs to invest attention in the present and not in thoughts. So I I drew some attention

thoughts. So I I drew some attention currency here. He's got some attention

currency here. He's got some attention dollar bills and some attention coins.

And he's finally deciding of his own valition where he wants to spend his attention, where he wants to invest his attention. Now, if he was

investing it in the past and the future, if he was paying attention to the past or future thoughts, then they would grow. And these past and future thoughts

grow. And these past and future thoughts would take up more and more of his experience in life. But now he's trying to make the decision to invest his

intention in the present. And I drew a little piggy. It's like having a little

little piggy. It's like having a little piggy bank. And if he invests his

piggy bank. And if he invests his attention in his little piggy bank, his piggy of the presence, then it will grow

and become a nice fat piggy and there'll be a lot of attention given to that piggy and it will take up a lot more of his experience in life rather than thoughts.

That's the best thing about investments.

They grow. So you can decide that you don't want to invest in things you don't like. you can invest in this lovely

like. you can invest in this lovely piggy presence, Mr. Piggy presence. In

order to do that, in order to make this decision, we use meditation and mindfulness to deliberately invest attention in the

present. So here I'm going to give you

present. So here I'm going to give you the basics of meditation.

First, you want to choose something to focus your attention on. And then you only want to pay attention to that one thing that you've chosen. So you're

choosing a phenomenon within your experience and then you're only paying attention to that one phenomenon.

The breath at the nostrils and inside the nose is the best option. The reason

being is because it's constant. It's

always happening. You're always going to be breathing and it's unvolutional. You

can also engage in breathing so that it becomes harder or controlled so that you can focus your attention more easily on the breath. So you have a natural breath

the breath. So you have a natural breath that is calm and relaxed quite subtle.

But if you focus on the breath you can control it. So that way you're able to

control it. So that way you're able to bring your attention to the breath by the use of controlling your breath. Now

controlling your breath is not the point of meditation. Focusing your attention

of meditation. Focusing your attention is the point of meditation. But you can control your breath in order to help you bring your attention to the breath.

If you find focusing on the breath too difficult, then you can alternate with one other spot or one other phenomenon of sensation. So I drew a little picture

of sensation. So I drew a little picture here of Steve and it's showing that he's chosen his no his nostrils. So he's focusing on the

his nostrils. So he's focusing on the breath, but then he's also focusing on his knee. So he's alternating

his knee. So he's alternating periodically between the breath at his nostrils and in his nose and a point on his knee.

This helps give your mind, especially if it's untrained, sort of novelty so that it it doesn't get bored of focusing only on one thing. So you would spend some

time focusing on the breath and then as you feel yourself losing focus, you can bring it to the knee and you'll develop a rhythm that feels comfortable to you

on when you should switch so that you don't get bored and you develop focus.

You can also use a word or counting, but you don't want to rely on it because it will become a crutch. You want to focus on training your ability to pay

attention to what is actually happening naturally in your lived experience so that it can be applied more easily throughout the day with mindfulness.

If you use a word in your head or out loud or you count say one for breathing in and two for breathing out, you end up focusing more on the mental counting or

the use of the word, your mental activity than actual sensation. And if

we remember the point of this is that we're trying to bring our attention away from mental activity. So counting or using a word is a thought in in and of itself, although a valitional thought.

You're not actually taking your attention away from thought. You're

giving your attention to a deliberate thought, which is not necessarily bad, but you will not get the full benefit of focusing your attention on a phenomenon

within your experience that is coming through your senses rather than from your mind, say thinking. You can think of it as the difference between using a

machine at the gym versus using free weights. If you're using a Smith

weights. If you're using a Smith machine, then you're not engaging all of the little muscles in your chest and back and arms that you need when you

support a free weight, say a a barbell and the plates on the sides, you need to use all of your muscles to engage in balancing that bar. But if it's on a Smith machine, the balancing is already

done for you. So you don't actually engage all the muscles and you don't get all the benefit of the exercise.

So, in that sense, this is a crutch. In

the same way, you're not getting all of the benefits of meditating if you're utilizing a mantra or a word or counting or an image because you're not focusing

all of your attention on a phenomenon.

You're using your mind to help calm the mind. We want to train our attention so

mind. We want to train our attention so that all we need is our attention. We

don't need a crutch [sighs] in the beginning. So because this is meditation basics, posture and position are not important right away. You can do

this standing up, you can do it sitting down, you can do it lying down, you can do it any position you find comfortable.

You can do crisscross applesauce or sit on a chair. You can lie against a wall.

You can lie down flat on your back. The

only thing that you want to be mindful of is that you're not getting so relaxed so quickly that you're falling asleep.

If you find that you're falling asleep because say you're lying down or sitting in a comfortable chair, then you're not going to get the benefits of meditation.

Once again, you can do this to start, you know, to get your foot in the door of meditation to get used to the practice, but eventually you want to get away from these, you know, super

comfortable positions where you're going to fall asleep or using a word or counting and then eventually even get away from alternating. But alternating

your attention is not bad because you're still focusing on a phenomenon that's coming from your senses rather than using your mind to calm the mind. And so

the other way that we invest in the present is to become mindful to engage in a practice of mindfulness.

Basically it means to engage in your experiences deliberately and with focused attention. You want to focus on

focused attention. You want to focus on your senses, paying deliberate attention to all of them as they are in the now in

the given moment. So you have your sense of sight, your sense of hearing, your sense of smell, your sense of taste, and your sense of touch.

Examples of using mindfulness that you can use in your daily life are when you're eating, say when you're doing dishes, when you're going for a walk or

a hike, and during any form of intimacy.

So, for when you're eating, you know, what does it taste like? What does it really taste like? If you're having a ham sandwich, can you taste the different notes? Can you taste the

different notes? Can you taste the mustard and the mayonnaise and the cheese and the bread and the actual ham?

Can you pick them apart? And can you really focus on what they taste like?

What is the sensation actually like? Is

there a difference between mustard and mayonnaise?

What is sweetness? What is tang?

What does the sandwich feel like? What

does it look like? What does the ham look like versus the bread? Does it have a sound when you chew, when you bite, when you swallow? Is there a smell to

the sandwich? Is there a smell to each

the sandwich? Is there a smell to each aspect of the sandwich? Can you pick them apart? Different ingredients.

them apart? Different ingredients.

How about doing dishes? What does the warm water feel like?

What does the soap feel like? What does

the dishes feel like? What does it look like? Can you really see the dirt on the

like? Can you really see the dirt on the dishes and how it washes off? Can you

see how the water behaves?

What's it sound like? What does the running water sound like? Are there

little sounds that you can pick up of the water splashing or moving?

Are there any smells like the smell of the water or the smell of the soap?

And you might not be engaging in the sense of taste when you're doing dishes, but you want to engage and pay attention to as many of these senses as you can.

Next thing is going for a walk. What's

it feel like to go for a walk? What do

your clothing feel like on your skin?

Can you feel cool breeze or hot sun?

What's it feel like to have your feet touch the ground? What do you see around you? Is it fall time or winter or spring

you? Is it fall time or winter or spring or summer? What does it look like to see

or summer? What does it look like to see changes in the environment and the atmosphere and the season? What do you

hear? Do you hear your feet? Do you hear

hear? Do you hear your feet? Do you hear the swishing of your clothing? The

environment around you? Birds chirping,

dogs, children, passing cars. Are there

any smells?

And of course, you may not be engaging in taste as you're walking, but you want to engage with as many of these senses as you can at the same time,

individually, and all as they are. And

then any form of intimacy. This is an easy one because any form of intimacy is inherently rewarding. If you're holding

inherently rewarding. If you're holding someone's hand, giving them a hug, giving them a kiss, then it's already enjoyable, it's already rewarding, it's

already fulfilling. So, you can enhance

already fulfilling. So, you can enhance that fulfillment, that joy you receive and that you feel during any form of intimacy by engaging with that intimacy

very mindfully, very deliberately.

You're paying deliberate attention to holding someone's hand. If you have a if you have a partner, a girlfriend, boyfriend, and you're holding their hand, what does their hand feel like?

Have you ever really paid attention to what it's like to hold someone's hand or to give them a kiss or to give them a hug? When you give them a hug, how close

hug? When you give them a hug, how close do you get when you give them a hug? How

long does it last? How comfortable do you feel?

What does their body feel like? What's

their body temperature? Is it soft?

Are they do they feel strong? For

example, my wife feels that I'm I feel like a strong presence for for me. I

feel like she's very soft and our interpretation of these experiences lend to our enjoyment of it. So when we are

with each other, we engage with each other very mindfully. If you're looking into someone's eyes, this is a form of intimacy. So when you're looking into

intimacy. So when you're looking into their eyes, what are their what is the color of their eyes? Can you feel their presence? Are they being present with

presence? Are they being present with you? Are you being present with them?

you? Are you being present with them?

When you're with somebody and you're enjoying your time with them, this is on the spectrum of intimacy.

You're having a conversation. It's on

the spectrum of intimacy. Intimacy from

the least intimate of talking about the weather to the most intimate of talking about having children together or anything in between or even further.

Interpersonal relationships, intimacy and connecting with another person is in itself rewarding. So you can enhance

itself rewarding. So you can enhance that experience by being mindful. And

that's that's the point of putting this on the list because it's probably the easiest way to be mindful in your daily life is when you're interacting with people you care about and people you love. The goal is of course to bring

love. The goal is of course to bring mindfulness into your daily life all the time. So you want to eventually be

time. So you want to eventually be mindful and paying deliberate attention when you're just having a conversation with the grocery clerk. Not that it's as intimate as you would be with a partner, but you are having an interaction with

somebody interpersonally. And when you

somebody interpersonally. And when you look in their eyes, you can try and be as present as possible. Now, this is sort of the realm of the adept in terms of spiritual practice and mindfulness

because not many people are comfortable making eye contact. But try it with people that you are very comfortable with and know very well. And you'll find

that the experience of being mindful is extremely fulfilling. Now, presence will

extremely fulfilling. Now, presence will begin to increase in your life as you invest in it. And the habit of thinking will slowly diminish as your attention

is reallocated to the present moment.

I want to stress that it takes time and it takes dedicated repeated effort. You

can't just watch this video and expect your life to change for the better. You

have to actually put in the effort. It

takes work. It takes time. It takes

dedicated repeated effort. Every time

that you're sitting down to meditate, you want to re assert the intention. So if you're sitting down to meditate and you're

focusing on the nostrils, you're sitting down with the in an intention that you've set to meditate to focus on the breath of the nostrils. And if your mind begins to wander, you only pay attention

to the nostrils. So you bring your attention back to the breath at the nostrils. This will take time and

nostrils. This will take time and dedicated repeated effort. It's the same thing with mindfulness. If you're being mindful of how birds sound outside as

you're going for a walk, you may find yourself allocating your attention, investing your attention again in thoughts because you have a habit of overthinking. You want to bring your

overthinking. You want to bring your attention back to the sounds that you're hearing in your environment, like the birds while you're going for a walk. You

want to engage in it in a dedicated repeated way, which is going to take effort and time. Eventually, because

you're investing in the present, it will increase and the habit of thinking will slowly diminish. The benefits of doing

slowly diminish. The benefits of doing this, the benefits of investing your attention in piggy presence, Mr. Piggy

presence is less stress and anxiety, a greater sense of ease.

Joy is much easier to experience, and you have better focus and sleep. There's

many other benefits, but these are the main ones, and they sort of create an umbrella over your life so that you have a life well-lived. No longer are you living your life inside your head, constantly thinking about threats,

constantly thinking about traumas or past things that may have happened, constantly imagining what might happen in the future and trying to prepare for it. You know, always in a fight orflight

it. You know, always in a fight orflight mode or overthinking or overanalyzing.

Instead, you're taking your attention, you're taking your currency of attention, and instead of paying it to thoughts, paying it and investing it in thoughts, you're

deciding, I'm going to be deliberate about where I pay attention, where I invest my attention. I'm going to invest it in something that I actually want to

grow, not my thoughts about the past or the future, but Mr. Piggy presents. and

he's gonna get nice and fat and happy.

And we know that happy pigs love to be present when they're rolling in the mud.

I don't know about any other quoial, you know, analogy for happiness than, you know, a pig in mud. You know, you know, happy as a pig in mud. So

Piggy, he deserves to be fat. He

deserves to be happy. You deserve to be at least happy. You know, maybe you don't want to be fat, but that's how you get happy. You give Piggy his due. You

get happy. You give Piggy his due. You

pay attention to Piggy. You invest in Piggy. He gets nice and big. And we do

Piggy. He gets nice and big. And we do that again through meditation and mindfulness. I don't want you to feel

mindfulness. I don't want you to feel discouraged. If you try it for the first

discouraged. If you try it for the first time and it's difficult because it's going to take time and it's going to take repeated effort. I hope

this video helped. And if you have any questions, please leave them in the comments. I'm happy to reply to

comments. I'm happy to reply to everybody who has a serious question or even a not so serious question. I'm here

for you and I hope that this is of benefit. I plan to make more videos on

benefit. I plan to make more videos on meditation, on mindfulness. This is just sort of the basics to get people

introduced to a mindful life. So, thank

you for watching.