I Spent $10,000 Learning How To Talk (Here's What Actually Worked)

What if I told you that speaking confidence isn't a feeling, it's a system that you can install? Would that

change the trajectory of your career?

Over the last 2 years, I've spent nearly $10,000 on communication coaches, camera confidence courses, and I even worked with Chris Williamson's personal speaking coach. And here's what nobody

speaking coach. And here's what nobody tells you. 80% of the improvement comes

tells you. 80% of the improvement comes from four simple techniques that I identified. No fluff, no picture the

identified. No fluff, no picture the audience in their underwear nonsense just the stuff that actually works. And

I'm giving them to you for free in this video. My name is Steve Wyn, but you can

video. My name is Steve Wyn, but you can call me Uncle Steve. I spent nearly 20 years at Amazon as a principal engineer.

And when I was there, I thought I was an excellent communicator. I had to be.

excellent communicator. I had to be.

Amazon has this famous writing culture where you can't get anything done without writing a clear six-page memo. I

got really good at writing because my career depended on it. But then I quit to become a YouTuber. I pointed a camera in my face. I hit record and I realized that my 20 year corporate career didn't

mean very much. I was wooded. I was

awkward. I sounded like a robot reading a script. But the problem is that bad

a script. But the problem is that bad advice and good advice look the same. My

written communication was strong, but my verbal communication was terrible. And

so me being the person that I am, I couldn't stand being bad at something that I had chosen to do. So I decided to engineer a solution. I treated verbal communication not as a soft skill, but

as a hard technical skill, a system to be built and optimized, and I'm sharing that system in this video. If you like this type of content and want more, hit the like and subscribe button. It helps

me know that I'm creating content that people actually want. And if you want more from me, subscribe to my free newsletter and join my Discord. Links to

everything are in the description. The

hardest part of speaking is always the start. The moment someone says, "So

start. The moment someone says, "So what do you think?" The second you hit the record button, when your presentation begins and you open your mouth, I call it the cold start problem.

The friction and anxiety are always highest right at the beginning. People

freeze because they're trying to figure out their entire thought on the fly.

They're trying to outline their argument, find the right words, and manage their nerves all at the same time. It's just too much. One of my

time. It's just too much. One of my coaches taught me to stop worrying about the entire speech. He said to just focus on nailing that first sentence. 80% of

what people think about you comes from the first minute. First impressions are made in seconds. If you come out the gate sounding natural and confident your audience just assumes that's what

you are. Everything else you say from

you are. Everything else you say from then on is heard through that filter of confidence. But what if you stumble at

confidence. But what if you stumble at the start? Tap the microphone and say

the start? Tap the microphone and say "Hey, hey guys, can you hear me?" No.

Yes. Okay, great. Maybe we can get started. Good. If you can't get your

started. Good. If you can't get your first sentence out and set the tone you'll spend the rest of your time trying to recover credibility you never established. I use this for every

established. I use this for every podcast that I record. I'll write down my very first line, word for word. Not a

script for the whole thing, but it's the key that turns the engine on. It breaks

the inertia. Think about successful YouTubers. Mr. Beast doesn't start with

YouTubers. Mr. Beast doesn't start with uh, "Hey guys, how's it going?" He jumps right in. Would you risk burning a lie

right in. Would you risk burning a lie for half a million dollars? That's the

first line. That's his launchpad. It

hooks you in in 3 seconds. Once you nail that opening, the rest flows naturally.

So, here's what to do. Before your next meeting, presentation, or difficult conversation, write down your exact first sentence. Not just the idea, but

first sentence. Not just the idea, but the actual words. Think about the energy that you want to bring. Confident

empathetic, direct. Then, rehearse it.

Say it out loud until you've nailed the delivery. If you're doing a longer

delivery. If you're doing a longer speaking engagement, you want to nail the first minutes. You want to know it cold. This one technique will eliminate

cold. This one technique will eliminate your cold start anxiety because you're not winging it anymore. You have a plan for the hardest part. If you're a software developer or scientist in tech

and want to nail your performance reviews and get promoted as quickly as possible, listen up. The fastest way to level up anything is through direct coaching from someone who's been there who can see your blind spots, and who

can give you the exact playbook on what to do next. That's why I created Speedrun to promotion. It's my program where you work with me to get an exceeds performance rating and your next

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all the painful lessons that I learned climbing the ladder to be a principal engineer at Amazon apply to your specific situation, but without the scars. I'll be raising prices next year

scars. I'll be raising prices next year but to close out 2025, I'm running a Black Friday offer with a discounted price. I have limited spots. So, if

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you're ready to take control of your career, the link is in the description.

Let's make 2026 the year of your career growth. All right, you've nailed your

growth. All right, you've nailed your opening. You're in the conversation. So

opening. You're in the conversation. So

now what? This is where most people disappear. I used to have this feeling

disappear. I used to have this feeling when I'd hit the record button or start a presentation. It was like I'd float

a presentation. It was like I'd float somewhere else. I would start speaking

somewhere else. I would start speaking and then disappear into my own head.

Then I'd finish and come back down to earth and have almost no memory of what I just said. My coach gave me a brilliant reframe. She said, "Confidence

brilliant reframe. She said, "Confidence isn't a feeling that you wait for because it won't come when you need it.

Instead, think about it like putting on a pair of shoes. Confidence is something that you put on. Here's what that means.

You plant your feet. You put your shoulders back. You speak from your

shoulders back. You speak from your diaphragm, not your throat. You make

deliberate eye contact. You use

purposeful hand gestures. You're

physically doing the behaviors of a confident person. This physical shift is

confident person. This physical shift is what keeps you grounded and present. It

stops you from floating away. And here's

the key. Your brain follows your body.

When you stand like a confident person your brain starts to believe it. This

isn't fake it until you make it. This is

using your physiology to regulate your psychology. So before you speak, do

psychology. So before you speak, do this. Put your feet shoulderwidth apart.

this. Put your feet shoulderwidth apart.

Put your shoulders back. Take a deep breath from your diaphragm. Feel your

weight in your feet. You want to regulate your breathing. This is your physical confidence protocol. It's not

about feeling confident. It's about

doing the behaviors.

This next technique will make you improve faster than anything else. It's

the most uncomfortable. Every

professional athlete reviews their game tape. They watch their wins and their

tape. They watch their wins and their losses to see what actually happened.

But in our careers, we almost never do this. We rely on our feelings and memory

this. We rely on our feelings and memory after the fact. But our feelings and memory are liars. Want to see any YouTuber squirm? Ask them to watch their

YouTuber squirm? Ask them to watch their very first video. It's universal

torture. I hated my first video. I

cringed at my awkward delivery. I could

see my eyes scanning across reading from the teleprompter. And I hated the sound

the teleprompter. And I hated the sound of my own voice. Everybody does. There's

a simple reason for this. When you

speak, you hear a version of your voice that's conducted through the bones in your skull. It sounds richer and and

your skull. It sounds richer and and deeper to you. The recording is what everyone else hears. Your voice only traveling through the air. It sounds

higher and thinner, and it's jarring.

But I had to get over it because the tape doesn't lie. Watching my first podcast was similar torture. I couldn't

hear my verbal ticks in the moment, but on the replay, they were all I could see. My personal tick is saying, you

see. My personal tick is saying, you know, after almost every sentence. If I

if I, you know, you know, that's, you know, okay, so you know, I saw every um ah, and like in excruciating detail what felt like an okay conversation in

my head looked like a nervous, rambling mess on camera. The data was undeniable.

You can't fix what you refuse to look at. So, here's the system that I use. I

at. So, here's the system that I use. I

call it the three pass review. The next

time you have a presentation or extended participation in a meeting, like on Zoom, record it. Then, force yourself to review it three times while taking

notes. Pass one is video only. Mute the

notes. Pass one is video only. Mute the

audio and just watch. Are you fidgeting?

Are your hand gestures reinforcing your points or just distracting? Do you look confident or terrified? Are you making eye contact or staring off into space?

Pass two is audio only. Turn off the screen and just listen. This is where you'll find your verbal ticks. You'll

hear every um and a like. You'll hear

your tone. Do you sound passionate or monotone? How's your pacing? Are you

monotone? How's your pacing? Are you

rushing or speaking clearly? Pass three

is a full review. Watch and listen together. This is where you see the

together. This is where you see the complete picture. How your words, how

complete picture. How your words, how your body, and your tone all sync up or don't. It's painful. I'm not going to

don't. It's painful. I'm not going to lie to you. But it is the key to rapid improvement. If you actually do this

improvement. If you actually do this you'll get better really, really fast.

Once you see what you're actually doing not what you think you did, you stand a chance to fix it. All right, we've covered the tactical stuff, the scripts the physical behaviors, the review

process, but there's one more piece that ties this all together. It's the biggest mindset shift of them all. We all know people are judging us when we speak in

meetings, in presentations, on camera.

The anxiety from this makes us wilt. We

want to look away. We want to shrink or just disappear. My coach gave me the

just disappear. My coach gave me the biggest piece of advice that changed everything. She said, "When you feel all

everything. She said, "When you feel all those eyes on you, just tell yourself, I know they're looking at me, so I let them look." It's a complete shift in

them look." It's a complete shift in power. You aren't a victim of their

power. You aren't a victim of their attention. You're giving them permission

attention. You're giving them permission to watch you. You're in command. Think

about it this way. When you're the one speaking, you have the floor. That's a

position of power. But most people treat it like they're apologizing for taking up space. Sorry, I just wanted to

up space. Sorry, I just wanted to quickly add this might not be important but I don't know if this makes sense.

Stop shrinking. You earned the right to speak. So own it. When you feel that

speak. So own it. When you feel that spike of anxiety as all eyes turn to you, don't fight it. Welcome it. Say to

yourself, "I'm going to let them look."

Then deliver that first line you scripted like a champion. This mindset

shift from they're judging me to let them look is what keeps you from floating away. It's what keeps you

floating away. It's what keeps you present and grounded. So, what did I learn from spending all that time effort, and money? I learned that great communication is just as much about how

you say something as it is what you say.

I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm a million times better than when I started. Communication isn't a talent

started. Communication isn't a talent that you're born with. It's a technical skill. It can be engineered. You don't

skill. It can be engineered. You don't

need to spend $10,000 like I did. It can

be learned if you put in the effort. If

you found this video helpful, check this one out where I break down how to get your manager to like you without being a brown-noser. Turns out there are some

brown-noser. Turns out there are some simple things that you can do to get on their good side. Having a manager that likes you makes your life so much easier.