The Truth About Girth: What Women Really Want
By Talk Sex With Annette
Summary
## Key takeaways - **Girth vs. Length: What Research Suggests**: Research indicates that for female sexual satisfaction, girth may be more important than length. While sufficient length is needed to avoid falling out of the vagina, once that threshold is met, girth becomes a more significant factor in stimulating sensitive areas. [07:50] - **Size Matters to Some, But Confidence is Key**: While size matters to an extent and many men desire a girthier penis, confidence is paramount. A partner's self-assurance can significantly enhance sexual experiences, often outweighing physical dimensions alone. [04:21], [43:55] - **Average Girth and Realistic Expectations**: The average erect penile circumference is 11.6 cm. Most men seeking enhancement have average-sized penises and realistic goals, often desiring only an additional inch of girth, rather than extreme increases. [12:56], [16:43] - **Filler Enhancements: Safety and Reversibility**: Hyaluronic acid fillers, used off-label for penile girth enhancement, offer a reversible solution. Unlike permanent procedures, these fillers can be dissolved, providing peace of mind for patients concerned about irreversible changes. [31:02], [37:30] - **Beyond Ego: Medical Applications of Girth Enhancement**: Girth enhancement can address medical concerns like delayed ejaculation by increasing sensitivity and friction. For men experiencing premature ejaculation, increased confidence from girth enhancement may also lead to better control. [44:37]
Topics Covered
- A larger penis is more forgiving of technique.
- Most men seeking enhancement have realistic expectations.
- Your penis size affects your daily confidence.
- Modern penis enhancement is safe and completely reversible.
- Your insecurity is a bigger turn-off than your size.
Full Transcript
do the
sex. Today's talk sex with Annette topic
is does girth matter? The hard truth
about size, satisfaction, and
insecurity. So, let's once again talk
about penis size, or more specifically,
girth. You know, the thing guys worry
about way more than they admit. The
thing women rarely talk about directly,
unless they're bragging or complaining,
and the thing no one wants to admit has
emotional weight until they're alone,
anxious, and convinced it's the reason
they're not enough. Girth isn't just a
stat on a measuring tape. It's tied to
shame, status, ego, and sex appeal. But
does it actually matter? Does more girth
equal more pleasure? Today's guest is
Dr. Amy Pearlman, a urologist, men's
health expert, and nationally known
advocate for body image, sexual
confidence, and evidence-based
enhancement options. She's been featured
on everything from national medical
conferences to trending sex education
panels. And today she's here to help us
break down the truth about girth, where
the pressure comes from, how it affects
men and their partners, and what we
should actually be focusing on if we
want to have better sex. But before we
dive in, I want to remind y'all that I'm
over on Only Fans, and that is where I'm
able to share my sex and intimacy tips,
how-tos, demonstrations, and audioguided
self-pleasure meditations, all designed
to help you have more pleasure, better
sex starting tonight. I'm also on
Substack doing the same. And you can
find me there with my handle, talk sex
with Annette. You can also scroll down
to the notes under this episode and find
links to all the places you'll want to
find me below. So, make sure to check
them out. But for now, I would love Dr.
Amy to take a moment and tell us more
about who she is. Hi folks, Annette,
it's so good to be with you here today.
I'm a board-certified urologist and I
specialize in quality of life concerns
that affect everyday men and women
specifically related to sexual health,
hormone health and genital urinary
health. I have the best job in the
world. I mean, your job is pretty cool,
but I have a wonderful job and I
honestly don't know why more people
don't do what I do. I love that you say
that cuz I also love what I do. It feels
good to help people have a fulfilling
intimate life and feel good about
themselves, right? And our bodies,
especially our sexual organs, play into
that in a big way. I want y'all to stay
to the end, and I'm going to tell you
why, like I always do. So, first of all,
this conversation isn't just about size.
It's about quality of life. It's going
to distill the truth about a lot of
things I know you're curious about
because your questions all have gotten
through to me. I've seen them and read
them. And by the end of this podcast,
you're going to know what's true, what's
not true, but even more importantly,
what to do if you are really un unhappy,
unsatisfied with your body, um, and you
need help. We're going to get you that
help. So stay to the end of this
episode. It's not just about size. It's
about self-image, sensation, and the
quiet insecurities that affect pleasure
more than any penis ever could. So,
let's talk about sex. Let's talk about
size. And let's get honest. I'm ready.
Cheers. Here is to girth. Cheers.
Here's the big question of the hour. Is
girth the new six-pack?
Oh, that's a good question. Uhuh. I
thought it was. Yeah. And I think I want
to preface this conversation. You know,
a lot of people ask me as a urologist,
does size matter? And if you ask I think
most urologists, most urologists are
going to say, "Your size, you're within
normal limits. You're in the big part of
that nice bell-shaped curve and don't
worry about it. And there aren't any
safe options." And the reality is size,
and I this is my perspective, size
matters to an extent. Okay? And I think
if we say size doesn't matter, I think
we're ignoring our society and what
culture, you know, what culture says.
And so I think we have to acknowledge
that for many people size matters. I
wish that everyone could accept their
bodies as they are. I believe that body
acceptance is such a beautiful thing. I
also believe that if someone has a
concern about a part of their body,
including their genitals, and we have a
safe solution for them, I believe they
deserve the conversation to to
understand what those safe options are.
And that's what I hope today's
conversation is really about is if you
have a concern, this is what you can do
about it, right? It's not just about
telling a person who's concerned about
their size, go see a sex therapist.
Let's make sure you don't have body
dysmorphia. It's very clear when I sit
down with patients and I talk to them
about their penile size, at least the
patients that come to see me, they don't
have body dysmorphia. They know their
penises are normal. They just want it to
be bigger and they want to know about
the safe solution. So, in some ways, to
answer your question, is a girthier
penis the next six-pack? Well, a lot of
people want a six-pack and a lot of
people want a girthier penis. So in many
ways I think the answer is yes. Yeah.
Yeah. It's interesting because I have
published several videos on penis size.
Usually that
conversation tends to lean towards
length. And the most common question I
have gotten from men is well how does
girth play into this? Right? How
important is it? So, I'm going to ask
you what your opinion is on length
versus girth. Let's talk length versus
girth. You can you can say what you're
going to say and then I'll of course
always add in my two cents. It's the
ageel question. It is. Let's talk about
it. So, you know, it's so variable. And
the reason why I say that is in my
clinical practice, the majority of men
who see me are coming in for girth
enhancement because that's what I offer.
They see that on my website. They see me
do videos talking about girth
enhancement. So, they're primarily not
coming in with length concerns.
However, for any guy that comes in to
see me, including the guys who come in
for something like erectile dysfunction,
I do bring up size even for what seems
to be an unrelated issue. And my goal is
not to put the thought in the back of
someone's mind that they might not have
a large enough penis. In fact, we're
having this this discussion before I do
an exam. I think that's really
important, right? to kind of bring up
this discussion, not while I'm examining
the person to see if they have any
concerns about their size, but I'll
simply ask my patients, "Do you have any
length or girth
concerns?" And most of the guys that I
see say they do have some length
concerns. They just didn't know there
was anything they could do about it. So,
they're not bringing it up in
conversation. So, a lot of guys that I
see are concerned actually about length
and girth. But then the question becomes
what is more important when it comes to
sexual
satisfaction? And when you look at the
research, the research would suggest
that a lot of women are saying that
girth is going to be more important,
right? And the way that I look at it
from from both my personal and
professional views here, right, is that
you need enough length to be able to be
in certain positions and not to fall out
of the vagina, right? But once you have
enough
length where you're not coming out,
right, then too much length, obviously
you're hitting the cervix, it can be
uncomfortable.
Some ladies like that [ __ ] I am not one
of them. I know it's so but it's so I
think the easy answer is it depends. But
I think both in length and girth you
need enough of each one for the partner
to feel it. But if you think about and
you've done videos before on teaching
people how to finger, right? I mean you
could get a woman off with my finger
that is way smaller and shorter than a
penis. I do it all the time. Also, yeah,
do it all the time. So technique also
obviously matters. I don't have any
research to um to prove what I'm about
to say, but this is my gestalt is that
with a smaller object, whether it's a
finger, a penis, a toy, when you're
trying to use that smaller object to
pleasure a woman, you have to be more
precise. So, if you think about a
vibrator, right? If you're using a
bullet vibrator and you put it on the
clitoris, it has to be like on the exact
spot for that to feel good. Otherwise,
it just feels like vibration and doesn't
feel arousing. Whereas, if you use a
bigger vibrator, like, let's say, a
magic wand that has more coverage, you
don't have to be as precise with that.
And I'm guessing, this is totally from a
non-scientific perspective, that with a
larger object in the vagina, maybe a
larger penis compared to a smaller one,
maybe you don't have to be as precise
with the technique for the woman to feel
it. I'd love to get your thoughts on
that.
So I think one thing because our sex
education is not
pleasurebased, people just don't know
how to have sex with each other. Now for
women, the bonus
is getting a guy off is relatively easy.
He enters you, he enjoys that friction.
I'm not saying it's good sex. I mean,
maybe he thinks it is because he comes,
but then should she have more techniques
and know how to have this erotic
experience, he would be like, "Oh, now
that's really good sex." Right? But with
women, we aren't set up that simple,
right? You can't just stick a dick in.
Well, there are very few there are some
women, but very few women that you can
just stick the [ __ ] in, thrust away, and
she's going to have an orgasm. That
percentage is minuscule right it is a
process for us and because guys don't
know technique most all of them I mean
they're learning they're catching up now
pleasure education is new uh yes I think
that probably why we get size queens um
I am not one of them but there are that
having uh and I'm going to say girthier
because I still think the number of
women who really get off and having
their cervix pounded are pretty small.
There is the a spot also up in our
vaginal canal that can be uh really
erotic that a smaller penis may not uh
reach as well. But if you've got a
girthy [ __ ] and it's short and it comes
in, it's going to hit your A-spot, the
guy doesn't really have to know what to
do other than thrust and hit it, right?
and with a girthier [ __ ] or a slightly
longer [ __ ] then he's going to be more
likely to hit it. So, yes, I could see
how a bigger one might um serve for
that. Now, I have had a conversation on
here about the truth about about small
penises. And if you are someone who
really knows how to do sex beyond the
thrusting, right, you can like if you're
working with a micro penis, and you and
I will definitely talk about that.
Uh, you can use, you know, grinding the
micro penis against the [ __ ] as a way to
get her to orgasm. Again, you can use
your fingers if she really wants to feel
full. Lesbians, queer women like me do
it all of the time.
Um, so I think that is I think if you
are small and on top of it you don't
have pleasure education, you are not
going to be as good of a lover as
someone with a big penis who can at
least just thrust away and hit the
spots. I think that's fair to say, don't
you? I think it's fair to say. Yeah.
Mhm. All
right. This question has come across my
desk a lot. What
is the average girth? Okay, so the
average girth and this is based on
research that is published when you look
at the flaccid. So that's the non-erect
penal circumference the average is going
to be about 9.3 cm and the average erect
circumference is about 11.6 cm.
Okay. All right. Well, I hope guys that
answers your question and means
something to you. It doesn't really mean
anything to me, you know. And it's
interesting because when guys see me in
the clinic, I never quote the average
girth, you know, because I can just look
at a penis of a patient coming into my
clinic and pretty much all the guys who
see me, minus a couple of
outliers, they all have averagesized
penises and they know it, right? So,
we're not talking about someone who has
a micro penis, which is really less than
1% of the population of men, right?
These are the average dudes walking down
the street. They know they have average
penises. They just want it to be bigger.
They have very realistic
expectations and they just want a safe
option. And honestly, it's funny because
when they come to see me, you would
think they would know exactly what their
measurements are. I I think the
perception of like guys who see someone
like me, they come in and I and they
say, "I'm exactly this when I'm flaccid.
I'm exactly this, you know,
circumference when I'm hard and this is
exactly what I want to be. I want to be
5.5, you know, inches when I'm erect.
That's not the conversation at all,
believe it or not. It's I sit down with
someone and I ask them, "What size do
you think you currently are?" And most
of the guys don't know. They'll
estimate. I'll have them walk over and
they'll look at um these demos right
here, which are different um girths. For
my audio listeners, if you want to see
the demos, you're going to need to go to
my um YouTube channel, talk sex with
anette. Otherwise, we will try to uh
describe them to you. Will you hold
those up again? Um do you and are those
sized out? So, these demos are are just
tubes that are showing size and girth. H
interesting. I even look and go, I
prefer this one or that one. All these
here and it has all the different sizes.
So, I literally just have them walk over
to a corner of my office and I say,
"Point to where you think you are
currently when you're flaccid." And
they'll kind of look around and what
they'll do is they'll grab one. They'll
hold it in their hand like they're
holding their penis to see how it feels
and how their fingers touch or don't
touch. And that's how they sort of
estimate what their baseline size is.
And then I ask, "Okay, where do you
think you want to be? What are your
girth goals?" And again, they're not
saying, "I want to be exactly this
amount." A lot of guys say, "I'm not
really sure." Or they'll look at my
demos and say, "Well, maybe maybe around
here." That's a fatty. That's a fatty.
Looks like a fatty to me. You know, I
have this one right here, which is the
largest one on my set. This one That's
big. Seven inches. That Wait. And that's
seven inches long or no around
circumference. Around. Okay. Okay. by
grip. If I were to grip it, that would
be like a a Yeah. Your fingers don't
even come together. Yeah. So, yeah.
Yeah. So, a lot of people will look at
that and say, "Oh my god, that's huge."
And I think again, a lot of people would
think that all the guys that come in to
see me in a clinic like mine would go
would say, "I think I'm the smallest
one, but I want to be the largest."
Those are not my patients. My patients
are the ones that say, "I think I'm
around 3.5 or 4 in, and I think I'd like
to get an additional inch." Right? It's
very rare that I have someone say they
want to be big like this. I I have two
patients, okay, that have gotten a ton
of girth enhancement, and we'll talk
more about the details of girth
enhancement in a bit, but they didn't
want to start from the beginning being
something like this. But as they've
gotten more filler and as they realize
how amazing it feels during sex with
their
wives, they know their penis does not
look like it would in the natural
habitat. Like you can tell they've had
some work done because their girth is so
large, but because it feels so good
during sex, they don't care and they
just like how it feels. Yes. Does it
feel so good to them or to their wives?
when you get girth enhancement and we
will talk about how that happens. Does
that
enhancement increase their pleasure as
well as their
wives? That's a really good question and
I wish more of my patients brought their
partners in. I've actually had some of
my patients bring their partners in
during the procedure and we just all
kind of shoot the [ __ ] in the back room.
And you know what? I love that, Annette,
because I think it really normalizes the
conversation rather than someone coming
in and they're very embarrassed or
ashamed about wanting to have a bigger
penis because you feel like they're
coming in from a place of
deficiency. When they come in with their
partners, it feels like they're coming
in from a place of abundancy where they
have a normal penis, but they just want
it to be better for them and their
partner. So, I love when they come in
with their partners. that would give me
more of an opportunity for me to ask
their partners. Right now, I'm relying
by secondhand. I'm asking my patients
what their partners think. For those two
guys that I was referencing that have
very large girth enhancement, like I've
increased their penis by like two to
three inches in girth. One of them I
recently saw him for followup and I
said, "Um, so what is your wife saying?"
And he's like, "Well, we don't really
talk about it." And I was like, "Okay,
well, do you think she likes it?" And he
said, "Well, she never used to squirt
when we were having sex, and now she
squirts all the time." And I'm like,
"Okay, well, that speaks volumes, you
know." Yeah. And then another guy said
that his wife just her eyes roll to the
back of her head when they're having
sex. So, I would love to talk to the
women directly. And it for my patients
who have male partners, I would love to
talk to their male
partners to understand the experience.
But right now, I'm kind of getting
secondhand from my
patients. Yeah. And I wonder if there's
two aspects of improving sex
that I imagine that after a girth
enhancement, there are two things that
add to increased pleasure. And you can
tell me if I'm on the right track.
Number one,
perhaps feeling more full feels really
good to the woman. I know there are a
lot of women um who enjoy that full
feeling. Even when you know when it's a
woman towoman and you're fingering like
adding fingers and even fisting feels
really good to them, the the vagina can
really expand. But I also imagine seeing
your partner feel really
confident while having sex with you is a
turnon. There's something about that.
The increased confidence
uh is sexy in a partner and there
there's no way that can't play into it
improving sex overall.
Absolutely. That plays a big role. I
mean ultimately our brain is our largest
sex organ and the way that we feel about
ourselves plays a huge role and I hear
that routinely from my patients. You
think about what happens for a man. One
of the first things that he does when he
wakes up from sleeping, he goes to use
the restroom and probably on his way to
peeing in the toilet, he sees his penis
in the mirror, right? and the way that
he feels about his penis for many men
will dictate how he goes about the rest
of his day and how he holds his head on
top of his neck, right? And so I hear
from my patients that because they feel
more confident in their bodies, it just
helps with the sexual experience. What
is another common concern for men
because we think only women have these
insecurities but men obviously and it's
obvious from your conversations on your
podcast that men have a lot of
insecurities themselves is a lot of men
are concerned about retraction. So once
their penis is erect they're fine with
that. They say I'm a grower not a
shower. But what they can be very
self-conscious about is when they're
first getting excited or they get out of
a shower, right, or they're nervous or
it's cold, their penis is retracted and
it looks very small. And so we've also
found, although we haven't studied this
in a scientific way, we've just heard it
from our patients, is that when you put
filler in the penis, a lot of guys have
said, "My penis doesn't retract as
much." And so that also plays into the
self-confidence.
Interesting. I found it interesting that
you said that the way a man feels about
his penis can affect how he basically
walks throughout the day. And so I want
my listeners to take note that again,
one of my arguments about why sex is so
important for us to be talking about
openly is because it doesn't just affect
us in the sexual realm, which a lot of
us compartmentalize. We're like, "Oh,
this only happens at night or whatever
in bed." That it affects how we move
through the world and how we interact
with other people, right? And our
overall mental health. And I think that
you're speaking to this here, right?
This is affecting how this person feels
about the themselves and everything they
do from the time they wake up and see
themselves in the mirror and forward,
which is also true. I mean, women, we
feel the same way, right? in with men,
how much does body dysmorphia play into
their insecurity about their dick
size? In my clinical practice, I
actually don't see a lot of men who have
body dysmorphia. And I think part of it
is because the guys that I see in my
clinic are coming in for fowl, which is
a temporary solution. So, I just see I
have just guys coming in who have very
realistic expectations.
Two guys stand out though in my clinical
practice that I would be concerned have
body dysmorphia. And those two guys were
actually coming in because they wanted a
permanent solution for penal
augmentation or penal enlargement. And
in meeting with those guys, they were
willing to take on more risk than my
other patients. They both had already
undergone several procedures for penal
enlargement. both of them had issues
with their prior procedures and both of
them wanted to take on more risk to get
a larger penis and um so if I were to do
a questionnaire for body dysmorphia
which I didn't do in either of those
cases um I have no doubt they would have
both screened in. I feel like it's just
you can tell when you're meeting with
them. In my clinic, when someone comes
in for a procedure, I'm sitting down
with them for like 90 minutes before I
actually do a procedure on them. So,
while in a lot of clinics, they might
give a body dysmorphia questionnaire
that might save them time because I can
talk with patients for literally 60 to
90 minutes. I'm able to tease out by
simple conversation whether or not they
have expectations or real issues that I
will not be able to solve that they
might need to see a a therapist for.
When you look at the research, there is
some research looking at body dysmorphia
and how common it is. So in one study
that looked at guys who were coming in,
they were seeking penile girth
augmentation, they found that about 11
to 14% of these men met the diagnostic
criteria for having body dysmorphia. But
I think it depends, this is my just
thought is I think it depends on the
clinic that a healthcare provider like
me is running and the types of
procedures that we're offering. Right.
Right. So, what are
conditions that men could have that
would keep you from being able to or
willing to treat them for girth?
So, I would say two come to mind. One is
if someone has, let's say, had erectile
dysfunction for several years and
they've noticed that they've lost length
and girth. So it's which is a little bit
different from someone coming in who has
had a smaller penis than they would have
liked their entire adult life, right?
There's there's a difference there
between restoring size that may have
been lost and just always being a
certain size in their adult life. So, if
someone has lost size and they're coming
in for girth enhancement, I actually
broaden that discussion about penile
rehabilitation strategies to see if we
can use different devices like a vacuum
erection device or a penis pump, like
traction therapy. The Restorex device is
a really great device for penile
lengthening. So, I actually might have
someone do restorative therapies to see
if they can get the size back that they
would that they may have lost before I
put filler in. And the reason why I
bring up that conversation is because
once I put filler in, they may no longer
be a candidate for using a vacuum
erection device or a penis pump. We
don't have research that tells us what a
penis pump will do to filler. And it's
possible that it could get the filler to
move or go away sooner. So, what I'll
talk to patients about those options and
I might have them use a penis pump for 3
months before I bring them back for
girth enhancement to see if they can
restore size that may have been lost.
Um, so that's one population of guys and
I've had that happen for a few patients
where they will try other strategies
before coming in. Now, not that I can't
do girth enhancement when they come in.
I just want to see, hey, um, you know,
in some ways I try to save my patients
money, right? I mean, I'm a bad
salesperson. Um, the other scenario is
if someone has a buried penis where
they're overweight and they have a lot
of fat on top of their pubic bone that's
burying a lot of their penis. I can sit
someone back in my procedural chair and
I can really expose their penis and I
can put filler in the penis and it can
look amazing when they're laying back.
But Annette, what happens when I get
them out of the chair and they stand up?
The penis will retract and that can
cause the filler to move. So if someone
has a very retractile penis or they're
overweight and they're bearing their
penis, that's where we would have a
really comprehensive discussion on ways
to lose weight, get in better shape
before I put filler in to optimize their
outcomes. So let's talk about the
filler. You you've been talking about
filler. is one treatment for adding
girth.
Correct. What is this treatment to be
clear for my listeners? Yeah. So, let's
get into the details of filler. I am a
urologist. As I mentioned, as a
urologist, most of our training is in
urinary tract infections, prostate
health, kidney health, and urinary
symptoms.
It's actually the minority of urologists
who are actually passionate when it
comes to sexual health. Okay, so that's
a minority of us to begin with. And most
of us, even those who are passionate
about sexual health, actually do not get
training in cosmetic procedures for the
penis. So for much of my career and my
training, I was having a similar
conversation as many of my colleagues do
with patients. When they would ask, is
there any way to get a longer or
girthier penis? we would tell them there
are no safe options. But Annette, that
is no longer the case. More technology
is now available. So about three years
ago when I started my practice in Miami,
Florida, my own practice with my twin
sister, I reached out to two of my
colleagues who were doing girth
enhancement through a company called
Fallill because just like, you know, a
lay person, right? They're not just
going to go to any provider and give
them a few thousand dollars and trust
that they're going to do the right
thing. It's actually the same thing for
healthcare providers. I selectively
reach out to colleagues to ask them for
advice because if you reach out to
someone and they have, you know, they're
injecting whatever they want into the
penis, they're not going to give me real
advice on actually what to do in my
clinic. So, I'm always for me as a
healthcare provider reaching out to
people trust in the field who are not
going to oversell something. So, I
reached out to two of my colleagues who
were doing girth enhancement and I said,
"Alice, Jonathan, what do you think
about the fowl procedure?" And they
said, "We love it and you should do it,
too." So I reached out to the company
Falafil because they're training
urologists like me around the country to
do this procedure because Annette we
have no other way of learning how to do
it. The only time really in most urology
practices where we have exposure to men
who have undergone penal augmentation
procedures is when it goes bad. We see
the complications. So we get this
perception in our mind that all penile
augmentation is bad because if someone
is happy they're not going to come to us
and say how happy they were with the
procedure they had done elsewhere. So we
get a very skewed version of what's
actually happening in this space. So um
I learned how to do this procedure. It's
we have no FDA approved products when it
comes to filler in the penis. So that's
very important. We use products off
label in the penis that are approved for
certain facial indications. So it's the
same filler that we might put in the
lips or in the nasol labial folds or in
the cheeks. So Annette, not all filler
is created equal. I'm injecting
hyaluronic acid. Hyaluronic acid is
normally present in our body. So it's
for our bodies. It's not like an
abnormal molecule. It's a hydrating
molecule. It's a sugar molecule, okay,
that we already have. And these are two
different blocks of hyaluronic acid
because they have different
consistencies. So the one here that I'm
squeezing is a lot softer to squeeze.
And then in my other hand, this is more
this is harder to squeeze. The
consistency of the filler that I put in
the penis is a little bit softer. So
when you're squeezing the side of the
penis that has filler in, you can feel
like tissue there, but it just feels
like tissue on the side of the penis. It
doesn't feel like I injected concrete or
cement-l like material on the side of
the penis. So the type of filler that
you put in matters, right? And so the
one that you were squeezing that was the
softer one that you put in, it looks
like it would be the same consistency of
what it would feel like if I were
squeezing any [ __ ] Yeah, it feels
natural at least from what I can see
over uh video. Yeah. And a lot of guys
when they come in because I think a lot
of guys are wondering what's the average
person that you see that comes into a
clinic like what are they saying
estimating their size of their penis to
be in terms of girth and a lot of guys
will point to a 3 and 1/2 in
circumference. So that's what this one
looks like right here. And a lot of guys
are interested in getting an additional
inch which would be 4.5. So you can just
see the difference here that even an
inch increase is a huge increase in
size. Okay. Now in terms of where we
inject the
filler, a penis in its natural state
doesn't have an actual space to
accommodate the filler. We have to
create that space. All right? So it's
important to understand the anatomy of
the penis for this discussion when it
comes to the technique. And if you just
look at this cylinder block right here
on the top of the penis is where you
have the neurovvascular bundle. Lots of
nerves, lots of blood vessels. Okay? So,
we typically don't inject on the top
part of the penis, although sometimes I
will inject on the top. On the bottom
part of the penis is the urethra. That's
the tube that men urinate out of. So,
when you think about anatomy, where
we're typically focusing the filler is
actually on the sides of the penis.
Okay? Which makes sense because when you
look down at a penis, it just looks
thicker when you're looking down, right?
So, you get the sides there. Now, that
some people will ask, "Will that make my
penis look flat if you're only injecting
the sides?" Well, the answer is no. And
that's for a couple of reasons. One is
if we go back to anatomy and we see that
the urethra is on the bottom, that
urethral tissue is very vascular and
when a man gets a full erection, you can
see the outline of the urethra on the
bottom and so that engorges and creates
more of a cylinder of the penis. The
other very key point here which is
specific for
fallophil is that we use the phallow
sleeve. We put a sleeve on which is a
soft silicone sleeve, okay? It's not
like a hard. She is holding holding one
up. For my listeners, I just want you to
know again if this is really interesting
to you or something you want to know
more about, please go to the YouTube
channel, talk sex with because you can
see that the what a sleeve looks like.
She's holding it up. It's cylinder, you
know, like you could you could put it
over your dick.
That's a great way of describing it,
Annette. So, um, we fit the sleeve
depending on the length and girth to the
penis. And we just put it over the penis
here once we put the filler in. Okay.
All right. And this helps round
everything out. And so, the guys will
wear this consistently for 3 weeks after
each injection procedure. It helps
minimize bruising, helps minimize
swelling, helps round out the tissue or
the filler that we put in. And because
as soon as the guy walks out of my
clinic, what happens to the penis? It
expands, it retracts, it moves, right?
And that can move the filler. And so
what happens is the glands or the tip of
the penis will actually sit outside of
this ridge right here on the sleeve and
it helps minimize the penis from
retracting. So the other key part about
this sleeve is it minimizes retraction
to help keep the filler in place. And
that's why, you know, again, not like as
I mentioned, not all filler is created
equal and not all filler procedures and
post procedures are created equal. One
of the reasons why we have such great
cosmetic outcomes after our protocol is
because we're putting a lot of time,
effort, and resources into what happens
after you put the filler in. Right.
Well, I will say this, that is one thing
we've never gone over on this podcast is
sort of the full procedure, what it
looks like, and then the afterare, which
is important, and I do think there's a
lot of information out there about
fillers that make them sound scary,
whether you're someone getting them
injected into your face or your [ __ ]
Um, and so that that makes sense. You've
got sort of that safety net in place.
And also I'd like you to verify. My
understanding
uh with this kind of filler is you can
also if it's injected and the person
doesn't like it or wants less, you can
go in and dissolve it. Correct. Yeah. So
Annette, the biggest concern that my
patients have when they see me, they
don't want to regret their decision
having seen me because again, they're
coming in, they don't have a disease,
they have a normal penis that they want
to enhance, and the last thing they want
to do is mess up their normal penis.
That was a very elective procedure from
the get-go.
And so what they like about the fowl
procedure and using hyaluronic acid is
that it is completely reversible. And
it's actually really interesting because
when I think about all the different
procedures that I offer as a urologist
that all of my colleagues offer as
urologists, I cannot think of a another
procedure that is 100% reversible. Even
you think about a vasectomy, which is a
very common procedure that we do for
someone who no longer wants to have
children. I mean, true, you can reverse
a vasectomy, but it's not going to be
the same and you're not going to have
the same outcomes in terms of, you know,
fertility potential for someone who
never had a vasectomy, right? Whereas my
patients love that I can dissolve this
medication if I need to. I've never had
someone want that, but I can if I need
to. And that provides peace of mind for
patients. There is no price you can put
on peace of mind, right?
And this gives me a great opportunity to
address a listener comment that I did
not publish. Uh, one thing that has it's
been said more than once, but usually
not very politely, so you don't get
published. Um, is what you know, all of
this conversation about penis
enhancement, so on and so forth. Uh, I
had a listener say, "Well, you don't
hear people talking about doing that for
women." Look, guys, this is a procedure
that is in line with the procedures
we've been doing, and I would call them
gender affirming procedures. These are
gender affirming procedures. If we want
to talk about
that, we've been talking about with
women for a long time, breast
enhancements, those have been I mean, I
don't know, I grew up with those
booming, although different different
than this kind of procedure. Uh, but all
of like the things women are doing with
their faces and now men too, although I
would I would venture to guess it
started with women and women do them
more uh, you know, putting filler in
their face, in their lips.
This is just an option for men who are
also unhappy with their physical
appearance and it happens to be the
sexual organ that makes them feel manly
or
more like the the more sexually viral
version of themselves. Just like women
sometimes want bigger boobs because it
makes them feel more feminine and sexy
in that way. Now there's an option for
men and uh that is what I've addressed
here on this show. There are options for
people who want to feel more like the
person that they believe themselves to
be right or want to feel more confident
in bed and this is what the option it
gives them. So it it is not always just
about men in our society. women are
doing this too and and we've talked
about it a lot. This is now us giving
men the information and kind of the
affirmation that is look if you are if
your sex life is being ruined by this
whether it's because of how you feel
about yourself it's your own stuff or
it's because it's really affecting your
sex life and and you want to have a
better sex life there's an option for
it. I'm not pushing it here. I'm just
giving you options. I'm learning about
this along with you folks. I'm not a
urologist. You know, I just know the
things that are hurting people's sex
life and ability to have
pleasure. So, that's what we're talking
about here. I would like to address um
are there specific
conditions like medical conditions where
girth enhancement is a solution? So but
beyond sort of the ego and confidence
um do you use these fillers in for
certain medical conditions?
It's a really good question. Oh, first
of all, I want to really I want to go
back really quickly. I just I love how
you just verbalize everything that you
just said. I love how you spoke about
this being gender affirming care. Like
as a men's health specialist, pretty
much everything that I do is gender
affirming care. It helps men feel more
masculine in their bodies and not in a
toxic way, but in a let me celebrate
myself as a man type of way, you know,
and I think that's a really beautiful
thing for a lot of men. And my goal is
not to make every man feel like he needs
a bigger penis, but obviously um there
are men that are concerned and so we're
just giving them the safe option. So I
love that you said that. And can I
let me just chime in. Yeah. I have been
in relationships with men who are
insecure about their penis size and sex
with them was miserable. And I'm going
to tell you
why. I was fine with the penis. I
probably wouldn't have even like
considered the size. I was really into
the person. Their size was fine. Um I
hadn't noticed it. But what I started to
notice was how much they brought it up.
And then every time we had sex, if I
didn't have an orgasm, there was this
like comments about size. I had to do
all of this reassuring all the time. And
look, I'm all about reassuring, but it
made it so suddenly I felt like, oh my
god, even if I I wasn't in a place where
I could have an orgasm, I wanted to fake
the orgasm cuz I didn't want to, you
know, I don't want to spend time after
sex, you know,
that, you know, in this bad place. I
want it to be fun. I want sex to be fun.
And of course, it wasn't fun for them
because they were worried the whole
time. But it really like I look back at
some people who I was very
like at least one who I was definitely
in love with and I ended up just
dreading sex with them because they were
so insecure about their dick size. You
and I have both had that experience,
right? When we're with someone who feels
confident about their body, they are
more fun to have sex with. Hands down.
And I don't need a research study to
tell me that's the case. We know from
our personal experience, right?
Regardless of size, if you show up and
you're confident in bed, you could have
a small penis, but if you show up and
you're just like really confident about
what you bring to the bed, the gal is
probably not going to notice nor care
about the dick size. Even if she does
notice it, she might be like, I don't
care. Like, this is good, right? Yeah.
Confidence.
I% confidence is everything. Confidence
is Confidence is so sexy and so
arousing. like I think more than
anything else. Um so to answer your
question about other medical conditions,
so there are actually a couple where
filler can improve. I see guys who come
in with premature
ejaculation and so they might orgasm
even before they penetrate their partner
or within, you know, 30 seconds or a
minute of penetration. And you might
wonder, well, wouldn't putting filler in
that would then lead to more friction
and increased sensitivity, wouldn't that
make premature ejaculation worse? And
it's interesting because it doesn't seem
to do that. We haven't studied this, but
I ask all of my patients who are coming
in and we talk about this, you know, as
part of this comprehensive discussion
before I do filler if they want to last
longer. And what I've seen across the
board is they're able to last longer. My
guess is they're more
confident and so that confidence allows
them to have more control over their
body. And I don't know how else to
explain it. The other condition that I
see is delayed ejaculation. And delayed
ejaculation is one of the most complex
conditions I treat. In part because we
don't have a definition for it. Because
a lot of young guys would love to be
able to last 30 minutes in bed, but then
you take a guy who's 75 years old and
lasting 30 minutes in bed is way too
long because he doesn't have the stamina
or the energy to last 30 minutes. So,
the definition is highly variable
depending on who the person is and the
stage of their life. But for a lot of
people, as they get older, their
genitals become less sensitive. We know
that for women, you know, a lot of us
need more stimulation like a vibrator on
the clitoris to climax. And the reality
is a lot of men need that as well. We
just and we haven't made it as socially
acceptable for men to bring in other
products into the bedroom to increase
their stimulation like we have for
women. So, as men get older, what often
times happens to the penis? It gets
smaller. He loses length. He loses
girth. It could be due to peronis
disease or scar tissue that forms in the
penis. It could be due to erectile
dysfunction that the tissue changes and
the penis gets smaller. And what happens
to the female if we're talking about a
heterosexual relationship? Well, look,
if she's had children, the tissue can
become more lax. And the elephant in the
room that so few people, you know, are
talking about are like, if you can't
feel your partner, if the woman can't
feel the man and the man can't feel the
woman, damn, it's going to be hard to
orgasm, right? you know, and you don't
want to say that to your partner. Like,
I don't think anyone wants to say to
their partner, "Hey, babe, I are you in?
I can't really feel you." But I I don't
know. I'm not going to speak for you.
I've been in this scenario where when a
guy is losing an erection, you can't
really feel it. Yeah. Yeah. I think
we've all been there. It's in there.
We've all been We've all been there, you
know. And so sometimes you just need to
increase the friction. And that's where
if you increase the size of the penis
and then both people can feel it more.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to
understand both people are then going to
enjoy it more. Right? Yep. There you go
guys. The unsaid thing that a lot of
women don't say is is it in yet or is it
still in? Well, but the interesting
thing and and gosh, you know, even as a
sexual medicine specialist, I've never
had this conversation at like a
scientific meeting with my colleagues,
but obviously there are different
positions that both men and women like
more than others because they feel it
more and there are other positions where
they just don't feel it as much. What
positions require girth? Like if you
don't have the
girth, eh, they aren't going to be as
fun. Oh gosh, that's a good question.
You know, I don't I don't know the
answer to that question. I was thinking
that Oh, I know one like if you are
laying down like the spooning laying
down, they're behind you.
You got to have some length and and you
got to let have a little fatty going on
there. You know,
the thing is it depends for men and
women. You know, the positions that feel
good for one may not feel good for the
other. But I think the reason obviously
why certain positions feel better is
because depending on the angle and the
body, you know, you just have more
friction on that more sensitive area of
the genitals. Again, that's not rocket
science, but when do we actually have
those conversations with our partners of
like, hey, in this position, do you feel
anything? And it's not even like the
question of like, does that feel amazing
or does that feel great? It could be the
difference of like, I don't know if
you're in versus that feels like
neutral. Like, no one's talking about
that part of it. I mean, that's always a
awkward when like I've definitely Have
you ever had this happen when you're
having sex with someone and you're like,
you know, you felt it like they were
really hard and then maybe because a
penis will get harder and softer
throughout sex and then they're still
pounding away or even speeding up and
you're like, is it is it still in there?
like they're pounding away faster and
they seem frenzied, but I'm not
sure what's going on. And I'm a small
girly. Here's the thing. I know I know
it's not me. My problem is quite the
opposite. Like I can't handle big. So
when I start to not feel it, I'm like,
are they just have they gone limp and
they don't want to say anything? So
they're trying to get get it going
again. Um I do also know and we do have
a podcast on soft [ __ ] and soft [ __ ]
can come and fill uh
pleasure but have you ever experienced
that? Oh yeah 100%. Yeah, we never talk
about that to do with the size. It has
to do with the rigidity, you know, but a
lot of guys, you know, what I see in my
practice, obviously, I see a ton of
erectile dysfunction. And so, guys, you
know, especially as they get older, they
have like a limited period of time where
they know they can maintain the
erection. So, why are they going super
fast? Cuz it's like if they lose the
erection completely, they're out of the
game. And as they get older, it becomes
more difficult to get that erection
back. And if they know once they lose
the erection, they're not getting it
back like they may have when they were
19 years old, they're really trying to
get the job done, right? Even if they
have like a partially erect penis. And
yeah, so that could be completely um
separate from the size of the penis.
It's just not fully erect. So whenever
these guys are coming in for penile
enhancement, we are absolutely
addressing erectile function. Because if
I make a penis bigger, but he's not
fully erect, I'm not really optimizing
his sexual health. So, we're definitely
doing both at once, and I want that
penis erect as possible whenever he's
having sex, right? Yeah. Yeah. We all We
all do, buddy. We all do. We want it as
erect as possible when you're having
sex. The good news for everything that
we're talking about today is we have
solutions for everything. And my job, my
goal as a urologist is not to create
problems where they don't exist, right?
You know, and so I'll bring up, oh, any
concerns regarding getting or
maintaining erections? And if someone
says no, like we move on, but often
times it opens up the conversation where
they may not have brought it up because
maybe it's not a problem all the time,
but maybe one in 10 times it is a
problem, but one in 10 times is still
significant, right? All it takes is one
in 10 to have a bad experience that will
dictate how he interacts with his
partner for the next 10 times they have
sex. Right? So my job is if someone
wants to talk about any of these sexual
health issues, whether it's getting
erections, maintaining erections,
length, girth, um sensation of orgasm,
ejaculation, volume of ejaculate. Like
we tackle everything because now we
actually have solutions for every one of
those things. There's so much shame
shame that keeps people from asking for
help or talking about or telling like we
were just sitting here kind of joking
about how we've been in sexual
situations where someone's pounding away
at us and we're just like what is
happening? And of course it's hard to
say in that moment to someone because we
don't want to make them feel ashamed. So
uh anything that can when it comes to
your sexual health I have to say and I'm
sure you'll back up. so important that
you are able to talk to your provider
about what's going on. And if shame is
keeping you from doing that, it can keep
you from finding out you could have a
condition that is is detrimental to your
health and dangerous for your health. I
have a whole podcast on like uh penises
being this sort
of you know it can be an alarm for
underlying health conditions that are
severe. Uh and also we've talked about
this in women. So it's important that
shame is not keeping you from talking to
specialist your partner and getting the
help you need. Uh, so I we're out of
time, but I want you to give my
listeners just a quick like the quick
top tips. If they're feeling insecure
about their penis and they want some
help, what are some things they can
start doing today, tomorrow to figure
out what's going to be the best solution
for themselves?
So, one thing I do want to mention
because we do actually have data on this
and this addresses one of your earlier
questions about self-confidence. We did
a survey of over 400 of our fowl
patients and like 70 let's see 80% said
that their
self-confidence and overall well-being
after filler was better or much better
in 80% of men.
We know that from a survey study. And
then in terms of how filler has impacted
partner satisfaction during intimacy and
again this is asking the person who had
filler not the partner themselves is
let's see over 70% said better or much
better. So we do it hasn't been
published but we do have some survey
data that answers kind of both of those
questions related to partner
satisfaction and self-confidence. So to
answer this last question, I would tell
patients or people interested is one
stay curious. Go down the rabbit holes
online. Oftenimes as healthc care
providers when our patients come in and
they said, "Okay, I apologize. I went on
Dr. Google and I looked this up. I had a
patient earlier today that said, I had
some conversations with chat GPT and
that's how I ultimately found you." And
I said, "I love that. I love when my
patients have conversations with chat
GBT because it gives them a foundation
of knowledge from which they can then
come to my office and face to face we
can have a very meaningful conversation.
It means they know the questions to ask
when patients come in which is rare in
my current in my current clinic and I
ask them are there any questions I can
answer for you Annette I worry about the
patients who say I don't have any
questions it means they don't understand
what we're talking about because
everyone should have questions because
no one like me is amazing at explaining
everything that eliminates all
questions. So, I will ask my patients,
have you gone down a lot of rabbit holes
online? Have you looked at Reddit,
different forums? What questions do you
have? It means they've done some
research, especially when it comes to
penal augmentation. I don't think any of
these people should ever show up to a
doctor's office not doing any of their
research. So, I encourage that. And
honestly, where else are they going to
learn about it? It's not often in
textbooks. It's not on TV shows like it
is for women and cosmetic surgery. So
really the big way for people to learn
about this is online. And I think that's
okay. We should encourage people to
learn from their peers. With that being
said, you got to take that with a grain
of salt. You're going to see the best
and the worst cases. So you just have to
understand the spectrum of what people
are going to report online. That's one
thing. Number two, doctor shop. A lot of
health care providers get offended by
patients calling their offices and
doctor shopping. I encourage it. I have
patients calling my office all the time
to ask about my accessibility, the
procedures I offer, the price. That is
transparency at its finest. I want my
patients when they schedule a visit to
know exactly what they're going to get
when they show up to my clinic. I don't
want to waste their time. I hope that
all of my patients that see me have
found a provider with whom they feel
comfortable talking about such a taboo
topic with. I understand that Annette
that a lot of men may not feel
comfortable talking about this with a
woman and I take no personal offense if
he would prefer to speak about these
issues with a man, you know. So that's
why I do a lot of stuff online because I
want people to see how I talk, what I
look like, what my message is. So when
they actually come and they visit with
me, they know they've chosen the right
person even before they schedule that
visit. Right? And number three I would
say is decide your risk aversity. Okay?
I am very risk averse. So the way that I
counsel my patients on interventions for
anything that I offer my patients is not
based on its effectiveness. It's not
based on if on on a treatment's
efficacy. It is based on its safety
profile. If there is a very effective
treatment, but I can hurt my patient and
especially if I can't fix it, if the
treatment hurts them, I cannot offer
them that solution. But if I offer a
treatment like phalophil with the
hyaluronic acid that is not going to be
a permanent solution, it's not going to
last forever. But if I cannot hurt my
patient and if it has an incredible
safety profile then I am going to offer
that solution. So I know for myself I am
very riskaverse and patients need to
understand that for themselves too is
how much risk are they willing to take
for a particular procedure especially
when it comes to penal enhancement.
Well, there you go, guys. That's got you
set up to go. Go do your homework if
this this this particular topic has been
on your mind, as I know it has been for
so many of my listeners. Now, can you
tell everybody where they can find you?
Yes. So, the best places to find me, my
clinical practice is called Prime
Institute. We're located in the Miami,
Florida area. I do have a bunch of
people that fly in. So, I'm very close
about 20 minutes away from Miami
International Airport. people can fly in
and out the same day if they decide. Um,
so that's primeinstitute. us and you can
just submit an inquiry online if you
want to schedule an appointment. And
then I have a lot of content on my
YouTube channel and you can find me at
doc doocc amy urology. Those are the two
best places. Fantastic. Thank you so
much. So folks, everyone deserves to
love their bodies. Everyone deserves to
have a
pleasure-filled life with their partner
and feel good about their role in that.
Now, I want like Dr. Amy does everybody
to love their body as it is. But we know
the reality in this society sometimes
it's a little bit hard. So, if you are
struggling, there are options. I hope
that you know that now and you can do
your research and then decide how you
want to move forward. But the bottom
line is pleasure is your birthright.
Loving yourself and self-love is your
birthight
and you deserve to have access to
whatever care you need to claim it. So
if you have questions for me or for the
doctor you know go to YouTube, you can
scroll down and leave a comment below. I
will do my best to get your comments or
questions addressed. You can email me at
annatalksexwithanette.com. You can
scroll down to the comment section below
or the description below. You're going
to find my speak pipe there. You can
send me a voicemail. I am actually going
to be launching a regular series where I
just answer your questions in little
shorty audios and videos. uh so that all
of those questions cuz I get so many of
them uh I can get at least some of them
answered for you. So go ahead, send me
your questions. I'm going to get you the
answers to the best of my ability. I'm
looking forward to them. So until next
time,
listeners, I will see you in the locker
room. And thank you again, Dr. Amy.
Cheers. Cheers.
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