things i’m consuming, new routines & finding my perfect coach bag

I don't know. Big ass [music] coach. I

love it.

>> Really cute. Thank you. I'm going to need her on that same about to get on a call. Um, excuse me. I

don't know. I'm so shattered. I went to bed so late. I don't sleep. It's so bad.

I need to get my day started, but like I don't want to. have on my holiday sweater because my energy this year regarding winter and snow is to embrace it, get excited about it. It started

snowing two days ago, heavy snow, lost electricity for like 15 hours, had no heating. I went on a 2-hour walk,

no heating. I went on a 2-hour walk, which I haven't done in so long. Like,

that hasn't been a part of my routine.

And I think I would have walked all night. I was so liberating to just like

night. I was so liberating to just like be drenched by snow, walk around my neighborhood. I was out there for 2

neighborhood. I was out there for 2 hours in the trenches and it was awesome. winter. I'm really forcing

awesome. winter. I'm really forcing myself to love cuz it's such a big part of the year living in Montreal. Like,

it's literally winter half the year.

There's no point in being down and upset that days are short and it's cold [snorts] because there is beauty in that. I'm really embracing the

that. I'm really embracing the hibernation vibe this season in the sense that I'm enjoying not having so many distractions and kind of like focusing on my projects or trying to.

I've been feeling a little bit lost. I'm

not going to lie. like being back home after being away and after like living on my own and then coming home like that's been difficult to say the least.

Feel a bit stagnant. Typically I wake up early unless I go to bed at 3:00 which is what I did last night. I think it's cuz I had a matcha at 8:00 p.m.

This is something I do. Um I think matcha has no caffeine in my mind. It's

just my late night beverage. Said no one ever. So I woke up at 9:00 which I don't

ever. So I woke up at 9:00 which I don't love and I'm really tired. Like look at that. That is not okay.

that. That is not okay.

That's not okay. I took my everything shower, did my hair care, skin care, and then I had a call. That takes us to 10:42 a.m. I've decided Wednesdays are

10:42 a.m. I've decided Wednesdays are my Substack posting days. I want it to just be something fun and light. I think

with writing, it feels very vulnerable because first of all, I'm just used to writing in an academic setting. So, I'm

used to writing a certain type of way and a certain type of paper. It was

always researchbased. So, never really more opinion stuff, never creative writing, you know. I think I just need to find my tone of voice. I reread, I reread, I reread, and I nitpick at everything. And then I also found a

everything. And then I also found a video editor to help me push out more YouTube videos. So, I'm going to go

YouTube videos. So, I'm going to go through footage so that we can get the ball rolling on that. Also be consistent on YouTube. These are my two like major

on YouTube. These are my two like major goals. This is why we're going to a

goals. This is why we're going to a coffee shop. I want to brush up these

coffee shop. I want to brush up these Substack posts. And then I also want to

Substack posts. And then I also want to perfect my London vlog that's going live tomorrow. That is like my favorite video

tomorrow. That is like my favorite video I've ever made because it was the most fun trip of my life. It made me want to move to London. Let's get this show on the road. I've been so happy to be home.

the road. I've been so happy to be home.

[clears throat] I'm so exhausted. No, I have energy. I

am energized. I've been home about a month now. I'm getting my [ __ ] together.

month now. I'm getting my [ __ ] together.

At least I'm trying. It's titillating

out here. It's so weird coming home after being abroad for so long and living with friends. Yeah, the postgrad moving back home is um not easy, but it's also so easy. That's the thing.

It's really comfortable and it's nice to be around my family and it's nice to just be in my things again. But at the same time, it just feels like I'm taking a massive step back in my life. Like,

why am I back in my childhood bedroom right now? How is this progression? But

right now? How is this progression? But

that's a really bad mindset and I need to get over that and just kind of enjoy the process of figuring my [ __ ] out. One

thing that is a non-negotiable part of my routine, getting ready, leaving my house. Today is one of those days where

house. Today is one of those days where I'm trying to make myself feel better by like putting on a bit of makeup, putting on a cute outfit. I go to a coffee shop really close to my house so I don't need to pack my big ass tote, which gives me

like the worst shoulder pain of my life.

I just carry my laptop and I bring a small bag. This is my Coach Outlet Terry

small bag. This is my Coach Outlet Terry bag. She is so versatile. Basically, she

bag. She is so versatile. Basically, she

comes with two straps. I have it in the shoulder bag because I'm a shoulder bag girl. But if you're looking for a bag

girl. But if you're looking for a bag with multiple straps, she's your girl. I

actually carry the other strap with me in case I have a change of heart. Coach

is one of those brands that has a bag for everyone, for every style. This bag

specifically is super versatile, but I just think back to even my vintage Coach bags that I will never let go of. They

always come back. I have this big pink Coach bag that I got, I don't even know, years ago and I'm so obsessed with her.

Anyways, tangent. This is the bag I reach for when I'm looking for versatility. And this is my favorite,

versatility. And this is my favorite, the Coach Outlet Nolita bag. Again,

perfect day toight bag. You can wear this in the daytime as much as in the night time. It has the Coach

night time. It has the Coach [clears throat] monogram all over it.

And I love the brown and black combo.

It's a small bag that fits a lot. It's a

bit unassuming. You might think, hm, can't put that much in here. Wrong.

Everything I could ever need on a night out or if I'm running errands. This is

the bag I'm taking out for the day. I

have my wallet. All my lip products.

Buff. One of my favorite lip liners. Lip

gloss. This is the lip gloss. Mimosa

cardamom. Best perfume. Pair elastic. My

AirPods that literally don't work anymore. I have to charge them every 2

anymore. I have to charge them every 2 minutes. I swear. This is really

minutes. I swear. This is really important to me. Organic sugar. Too many

coffee shops. First of all, only have Splenda. Can't do it. Or they offer like

Splenda. Can't do it. Or they offer like a syrup. I just want sugar. Is that too

a syrup. I just want sugar. Is that too much to ask for? Good bags to have on rotation. While I wait for pee to wake

rotation. While I wait for pee to wake up. Love you. I want to tell you about

up. Love you. I want to tell you about the books I've been reading. So, a big part of my routine, the most important, I think, is the morning. It sets the tone for my entire day. If I have a good

morning, nothing can shake me. All is

well in the world. I've been reading a lot after a summer of not really reading much. I actually feel like I'm myself

much. I actually feel like I'm myself again. Like I'm becoming myself again. I

again. Like I'm becoming myself again. I

love it so much. I currently am reading actually three books kind of in rotation. The Untethered Soul by Michael

rotation. The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. So I mentioned in my very

A. Singer. So I mentioned in my very first Copenagen video how this book was teaching me to view my thoughts objectively and how that was really helping me overcome some of my overthinking. Last week I had had kind

overthinking. Last week I had had kind of an epiphany about what I was putting my energy into and how it was draining me. Maybe you're putting so much energy

me. Maybe you're putting so much energy into something you think is meant for you at that time, but you're like forcing it and it's just not the right time. So you need to redirect your

time. So you need to redirect your energy. take a little detour. I think

energy. take a little detour. I think

that's a very common thing with creative projects. But I think the most common

projects. But I think the most common way that all that [clears throat] manifests in my life is with relationships and people where I feel like I will pour my heart and soul into

relationships or into people. And then

sometimes I just realize, okay, actually this isn't right for me. Like this is not a relationship that gives me energy.

It actually drains me. A week ago, I opened this book and the chapters on literally that topic after I had had like a big realization epiphany about how I was putting so much energy into

this one thing that was giving me nothing back. And that's why I felt so

nothing back. And that's why I felt so exhausted. So, this book at any point in

exhausted. So, this book at any point in your life when you read it, it's going to resonate and it's going to feel like, oh, I'm meant to be reading this right now because I read that chapter and it was basically just explaining how, and this I find so interesting, but like all

the energy that you need to survive exists within you. what I mean by that or what I guess he means by that obviously you need food you need water in order to generate energy and like

live but on a deeper level when you feel like a surge of energy because you I don't know got a promotion or you got a text from your crush these surges of energy they come from within you and in

the same way when you're depressed the complete lack of energy it feels insurmountable at times what he says in the book is like it isn't even about how much food you're eating that's a separate topic basically is what he's saying when we think about actually the

energy. All the energy you have, it

energy. All the energy you have, it exists within you already. And it's

about you like being able to gain access to it and then use it in a way that feels energizing. It's about you being

feels energizing. It's about you being able to tap into that inner energy and not waste it on reminiscing, clinging, holding on to grudges. And it was just such an interesting chapter. I know I'm

probably really not explaining it in the best of ways, which is why you should just get this book for yourself if you're interested in energy and the way your mind works. And like if you're a spiritual person, which I absolutely am.

I feel very connected to myself when I'm like in touch with my spirituality, my energy. When I feel drained, which I

energy. When I feel drained, which I felt lately, I felt extremely extremely drained. It makes it harder for me to

drained. It makes it harder for me to feel connected to myself. I talked about this a bit in my New York video, but I've just been feeling so exhausted by my travels, yes, but traveling has never made me this tired before. Of course,

jumping around and adjusting to places is tiring, but it's also extremely energizing. It depends on where your

energizing. It depends on where your head's at. And I think my head's just

head's at. And I think my head's just been in a place where I've been giving so much of my mental energy to things that aren't even around me real that actually don't really matter. It's a

form of overthinking. Even if it's reminiscing, things like that, I'm really learning to let go. So, this book is been a true help. I'm actually at a chapter right now about fear, changing the mentality that leads you to feel

like you're better off avoiding the things that make you scared, facing them head-on, and learning to let go. You

can't read more than a chapter a day because it's very dense. Then I started Mir Kundra, the book of laughter and forgetting. Shout out Allure. I read

forgetting. Shout out Allure. I read

Kundara for the first time, The Unbearable Lightness of Being this summer at the start of the summer in French because I had heard he learned French to translate his novel himself.

And so I thought that that would be the most accurate translation, but this English he endorses at the end. So I

think it's fine. I love the way he writes. Typically, I would say that his

writes. Typically, I would say that his titles do reflect the major themes of his novels. At least for the Unbearable

his novels. At least for the Unbearable Lightness of Being, it's very existential. It's about how you live

existential. It's about how you live your life, what you attribute meaning to in relationships, especially who you give your love to. I'm not that deep into it. I'm like 30 pages in. I love

into it. I'm like 30 pages in. I love

that it's a bunch of mini chapters. It's

a good motivator for reading. I'm

reading Assembly by Natasha Brown. If

you're looking for a first book to kind of get you back into reading, I really recommend this one. It's super short.

It's written beautifully. So many of my friends are working corporate jobs, and I'm so happy for them. It couldn't be further from my reality. And it's

interesting to read from the point of view of someone who is working a corporate job but is also questioning why she is and if it's worth it in a sense giving your life to your job to

live a certain standard of life. Talking

about health, sexual harassment in the office. It's really about what we

office. It's really about what we attribute value to and what we prioritize in this day and age. And it

feels relatable. Even though I'm not in the same situation, there is a relatability about the sentiment for the place that she's in in her life and the musings that she's having about whether she's doing the right thing and on the

right path and what really matters to her. I love it. Today I'm going to be

her. I love it. Today I'm going to be writing. Let's make some breakfast.

writing. Let's make some breakfast.

>> Oh, [ __ ] [music] my banks of the old man [singing] river.

Heavy calling rain. Don't agree. [music]

calling rain. Don't agree. [music]

>> They say she keeps up and [music and singing] will break again.

[music] >> Don't leave early. [singing]

[music] [singing] >> Everything in here. computer. Let's go

grind. I have so much to do. [music]

[music] >> Time to write and edit.

[music] >> Oh, river by [singing] the hour.

Drop your bags [music] and run. You

know, surrender. [singing] Time has come to the water.

>> [music] [music] >> Still [singing] waves are lapping on the bridge now. [music]

bridge now. [music] [music] Children make a run for [singing] higher ground.

>> Need to be a better influencer.

>> See the [music] fire [singing] sound.

>> [music] >> Welcome to M. Um, I finished decorating a bit ago and I think it's really [ __ ] It's actually it's magical. It's meant

to be like a cocoon. If I don't feel cozy and if I don't like the decor, I'm not happy.

>> No.

>> But this this is happy.

>> This makes winter >> like so bearable.

Oh, [music and singing] >> having some broccoli soup. Very wintry.

[laughter] >> It's amazing. Little lip liner will do.

You taught me a lot, but not all of what I know. Oh, I'm giving you so much

I know. Oh, I'm giving you so much credit. That's the best part of being a

credit. That's the best part of being a parent is like, oh my god, I don't know everything, and I never thought of it that way.

>> I'm going to cafe alphabet, so they're having an event.

>> Oh, nice. I have a late evening matcha to help with my sleep. [laughter]

My god, my bag. I'm switching to the Coach Outlet Nolita bag cuz it's smaller and a good nighttime bag. I find three lip liners cuz you never know. I have a problem. Deodorant. I go nowhere without

problem. Deodorant. I go nowhere without deodorant. It's like my worst fear to

deodorant. It's like my worst fear to smell stinky. On that same theme,

smell stinky. On that same theme, nectarine blossom and I don't know what this is but it's coming with me.

Airpods. My camera. All good. Hair

elastic. I don't need this. All set on my walk. I'm going to listen to a

my walk. I'm going to listen to a podcast. Another really big part of my

podcast. Another really big part of my routine and a very important part of my routine, something I've implemented.

It's on my to-do list even cuz I don't want to let myself not do it. Every day

I give myself the challenge of listening or watching one piece of slow media.

Slow media by my standards, which can be a film as much as it can be a podcast.

That's usually my go-to. Or articles,

substaxs, really anything. Like last

week, my mom sent me this New York Times debate about whether women are ruining the workplace. It's this debate between

the workplace. It's this debate between two more conservative feminists. I've

been listening to podcasts. I love The Critic and her Publix. Spending a lot of time on Substack reading articles. I

love Mina Le. Her video essays on YouTube are incredible. Making a point to consume media that isn't mind-numbing because I am a reality TV fiend. And I

don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I tend to consume so much crap

that. But I tend to consume so much crap and it's making me feel like I'm losing brain cells. Not being in school, not

brain cells. Not being in school, not being forced to read things, not being forced to do homework, to like engage in discussions about anything is really hard. I'm struggling a bit. And I think

hard. I'm struggling a bit. And I think I was struggling this summer just feeling like if I'm not getting smarter, am I getting dumber? Like that's how I was feeling. So this is just a challenge

was feeling. So this is just a challenge for myself as I'm entering this new chapter, becoming a student of life, which is so cheesy, but I love the cheesy stuff. Speaking of cheesy, I read

cheesy stuff. Speaking of cheesy, I read this article on Zubstack. I will link it cuz it's incredible about cliches, and I loved it. I ate that up. Cliché are

loved it. I ate that up. Cliché are

important. Gives life meaning. Case in

point, it has to be something new. And

that too, I feel like it it stimulates my brain in a different way. It forces

me to think about things, to engage with popular culture in a different way. I've

just been missing being in a classroom and being challenged like that. So, I'm

kind of trying to do that myself and that's why I'm starting my Substack, too, is cuz I think it's a good way to hold myself accountable in that sense and feel like I'm using my brain in a way that's stimulating, like I said,

because I spend so much freaking time on my phone and I want to replace those lost hours cuz they are lost. I'm sorry.

They just are. I don't really see a bright side to doing that. I want to replace that with more mindful consumption. Honestly, that means that

consumption. Honestly, that means that if I decide I want to spend an hour on reals before bed, like that's fine, but as long as it's just an hour and like I'm consuming something else to kind of offset that. And it's not about guilt so

offset that. And it's not about guilt so much as it's about self-care because I have gotten to know myself and I know that it really does not benefit me to do that. And I know that it makes me feel

that. And I know that it makes me feel brainless in a sense. I think that's why I've struggled a lot this summer with like figuring out my life. I've just

felt so lost, not feeling challenged really, and feeling like I wasn't really learning anything. And I was learning

learning anything. And I was learning about myself. I mean, learning in the

about myself. I mean, learning in the bigger sense or in the smaller sense, learning about something niche. When you

take a class in college and you learn all about this one, period. I miss

becoming kind of a mini expert on a certain topic. This is why I'm doing

certain topic. This is why I'm doing this for myself. And it's just become such a big or such an important part of my everyday. It doesn't take up that

my everyday. It doesn't take up that much time too, which is like something I feel like I've always convinced myself, oh, I don't have time for that. But I

absolutely do. I have time to scroll for [ __ ] 3 hours before bed. Like, I have time. But also, I need to stop being so

time. But also, I need to stop being so hard on myself and being like, that's bad that I do that. You know what? It's

okay. I think I'm just realizing that it's taken a toll on me in ways I really couldn't have imagined. And now I'm trying to instill this habit to replace some of the other habits I have and make it into a habit by doing it every day.

It's working. I feel an urge to listen to a podcast or to sit down and watch a film that I wouldn't typically choose to watch. Today I finished writing my

watch. Today I finished writing my holiday gift guide substack. The next

Substack will be things I consumed in October and it just goes over a book I read, a film I watched, a podcast I listened to, an article I read. I want

to do kind of monthly recaps, book reviews, stuff like that to stay a student. I think it's important to kind

student. I think it's important to kind of hold yourself accountable when you're not in school anymore. Just challenge

yourself. Start a book club with a friend. Like T and I just started a book

friend. Like T and I just started a book club. We're reading Assembly for it,

club. We're reading Assembly for it, which is like so fun and exciting. Let's

go have some matcha. I feel like that and like having a glass of wine or a cocktail, same difference, right? Same

impact on sleep. Okay, ready? Let's go.

Bag. Puffer cuz it's freezing. Loafers

with wool socks. It's my mess.

[music] Australian.

[music] >> This is my evening snack every single night. I'm obsessed with pawn. Excuse.

night. I'm obsessed with pawn. Excuse.

My toaster is broken. Desperate times.

Oh my god, I'm scared. Say hi. You're so

Hello. You're so pretty. I'm going to go for a little nighttime walk. This is

kind of my routine. like slower days trying to be as productive as I can while leaving the house, moving my body, eating well, all that stuff. It feels

good. It feels good to be home because I'm taking good care of myself and I've been craving that. It's nice to be put and I'm enjoying winter this time around [music] [music] the river.

Wow.

[music] [music] Wow.